Rating: PG IE (hehehe figure that one out)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tolkien's works, never have never will and it's about time I accept that (
11. Look Two Chapters in one Weekend!!!
Sam squeaked, Legolas shook and Gimli burped. "Don't let him put another spell on us, this ones bad enough!" Sam whimpered.
"Are you kidding? Maybe we can get him to switch us back!" Gimli said through clenched teeth. "We have to be quick, Sam you tackle him, Leggy you sit on him and I'll slap him silly till he reverses the curse."
"Eww, why do I have to sit on him?" Legolas asked notching an arrow to his bow, "Can't I shoot at his feet for a bit?"
"No stupid, you'll miss, besides you're the fattest." Sam relied, "Oh no, there he is!" The former hobbit pointed toward a bright figure looming on the hill ahead.
"Get him!!!!!!" Gimli yelled.
"Charge!!" Legolas cried.
"Motherrrrr!" Sam yelped as the light blinded him and he fell to his knees.
"Gahh, too bright! Turn it off! Turn it off!" Legolas whimpered covering his eyes.
"You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits." The wizard implied.
"Well, not quit, one's a mffffft." Sam's stopped as Legolas covered his mouth.
"Shut up!" Leggy hissed.
"They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?" The wizard asked.
"Not is it was you!" Sam yelled yanking free of his companions grasp. "Show yourself and fight us like a man!"
"Oh dear me, you may want to steady that temper master Gamgee." The wizard laughed, as the brightness dimmed. "Rosie will think you rash."
"What the, Gandalf?" Gimli squeaked falling to his feet.
"Oh dear Valar." Legolas sighed before fainting. "It cannot be, you fell? Pippin killed you." Sam whispered in amazement.
"I did fall through fire and water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought him, the Balrog of Morgoth." Gandalf replied. "Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead and everyday was as long as a life-age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt light in me again. I have been sent back until my task is done. As for Pippin, I shall deal with him soon, insolent little rat that he is."
"You seem younger master Gandalf, fuller more energized, how?" Sam asked.
"I just started paying more attention to all that e-mail spam, quite helpful actually. (Come on you all know what I mean)." Gandalf replied. "Now let's go and pay a little visit to an old friend."
"Saruman! Please not him." Sam pleaded.
"Well yes and no, you'll see." Gandlaf laughed. "Oh, could you wake Legolas; he seems to have fallen asleep."
Treebeard lumbered through the forest. "My home. I sleep in the forest near the roots of the mountain, just south of here, if you stand on my top branches you should be able to see it, funny story actually, hoe I found it, I shall tell it too you later. I told Gandalf I would keep you safe and safe is where I'll keep you; lots of trees, no orc can get through them. Taught them to clobber orcs myself, another long story to tell you this evening. The trees have grown wild and dangerous, well not all of them, there's a couple saplings that are rather nice, bit peckish though, only drink out of the finest of springs. Anger festers in most trees' hearts. They will harm you if they can. There are too few of us now. Too few of us ents left to manage them, used to be more, many more, lots of entwives too. One opf the prettiest was Harathiel she could tend gardens all day except in winter, then she'd." "He's been going on like this for hours Bill." Pippin grumbled. "My head's beginning to hurt. He's worse then the Gaffer, and that's saying a lot."
"Yay, were out!" Aragorn sighed plunking himself down on a rock at the end of the marsh. "Not out, not yet. Not there, not now. Don't resssst sssstupid hobbit." Gollum hissed. "He'sss right, not sssmart, they shall see us, they shall!" Frodo hissed. "Fine! Just cut out the hissing!" Aragorn cried clamoring to his feet. "Where is the gate?" "Clossse, tiss very close, over big hill, it isssss." Gollum replied as he began to climb up a rocky hill, Frodo and Aragorn followed. "The Black Gate of Mordor!" "Eru save us! It's big!" Aragorn whimpered. "Stupid Hobbit says to show him the way into Mordor, so good Smeagol does. Master's friend says so." Gollum hissed. "So I did." Aragorn sighed looking out at the wall, "Blimy look at all them orcs and trolls. Well, that's it then. We cannot get past that." A horn sounded and the gate began to open. An army of the south began to fill through. "Look! The gate, it'ssss opening! I can sssssee a way down." Frodo said eagerly as he peered over the side. Suddenly the rock gave way and he fell down the hill side. "Frodo, no!!!" Aragorn cried sliding down after him. "Master!" Gollum hissed as two of the Easterners broke rank to investigate the commotion. Aragorn tugged on the ring bearer, but he would not come lose. Desperately he flung his cloak over the two of them and laid still. The Soldiers stared at what appeared to be a rock before turning away jabbering in their own tongue. ( The conversation translated to this: "I told you it was nothing!" "Did not" "Did to" "Did not!" "Did too" Ect.) "Get off ussss!" Frodo screeched as soon as the soldiers where out of ear shot. "Pervy hobbit fancier!" "I am not!" Aragorn argued. "Now come on, we can still make a run for it!" He prepared to bolt for the open gate. "Now!!" Frodo cried, before being pulled back by Gollum. "No! No, no master! They'd catch you! They'd catch you! Don't take it to him! He wants the preciousss. Always he's looking for it! And the preciousss is wanting to go back to him. But we mustn't let him have it." Gollum pleaded. Frodo pulled away. "No! There's another way. More secret and dark way." "Why have you not spoken of this before!?" Aragorn asked grabbing Gollum by the neck. "Because Master did not ask!" Gollum insisted. "He'ssss up to ssssomething." Frodo hissed. "Are you saying there is another way into Mordor?" Aragorn interrogated. "Yesss. There is a path, and some stairs, and then a tunnel." Gollum replied. "He's led us this far, and he's been true to his word." Aragorn decided. "Noooo!" Frodo pleaded. "Lead the way Smeagol." Aragorn drooped Gollum and gave him a kick. "Smeagol, yesss Sssmeagol." Gollum hissed as he lead them down the hill.
Well that one was tricky to write, manly because I had to switch Sam's (Aragorn's ) and Frodo's lines around for it to work wit their new attitudes. I hope it turned out.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tolkien's works, never have never will and it's about time I accept that (
11. Look Two Chapters in one Weekend!!!
Sam squeaked, Legolas shook and Gimli burped. "Don't let him put another spell on us, this ones bad enough!" Sam whimpered.
"Are you kidding? Maybe we can get him to switch us back!" Gimli said through clenched teeth. "We have to be quick, Sam you tackle him, Leggy you sit on him and I'll slap him silly till he reverses the curse."
"Eww, why do I have to sit on him?" Legolas asked notching an arrow to his bow, "Can't I shoot at his feet for a bit?"
"No stupid, you'll miss, besides you're the fattest." Sam relied, "Oh no, there he is!" The former hobbit pointed toward a bright figure looming on the hill ahead.
"Get him!!!!!!" Gimli yelled.
"Charge!!" Legolas cried.
"Motherrrrr!" Sam yelped as the light blinded him and he fell to his knees.
"Gahh, too bright! Turn it off! Turn it off!" Legolas whimpered covering his eyes.
"You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits." The wizard implied.
"Well, not quit, one's a mffffft." Sam's stopped as Legolas covered his mouth.
"Shut up!" Leggy hissed.
"They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?" The wizard asked.
"Not is it was you!" Sam yelled yanking free of his companions grasp. "Show yourself and fight us like a man!"
"Oh dear me, you may want to steady that temper master Gamgee." The wizard laughed, as the brightness dimmed. "Rosie will think you rash."
"What the, Gandalf?" Gimli squeaked falling to his feet.
"Oh dear Valar." Legolas sighed before fainting. "It cannot be, you fell? Pippin killed you." Sam whispered in amazement.
"I did fall through fire and water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought him, the Balrog of Morgoth." Gandalf replied. "Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead and everyday was as long as a life-age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt light in me again. I have been sent back until my task is done. As for Pippin, I shall deal with him soon, insolent little rat that he is."
"You seem younger master Gandalf, fuller more energized, how?" Sam asked.
"I just started paying more attention to all that e-mail spam, quite helpful actually. (Come on you all know what I mean)." Gandalf replied. "Now let's go and pay a little visit to an old friend."
"Saruman! Please not him." Sam pleaded.
"Well yes and no, you'll see." Gandlaf laughed. "Oh, could you wake Legolas; he seems to have fallen asleep."
Treebeard lumbered through the forest. "My home. I sleep in the forest near the roots of the mountain, just south of here, if you stand on my top branches you should be able to see it, funny story actually, hoe I found it, I shall tell it too you later. I told Gandalf I would keep you safe and safe is where I'll keep you; lots of trees, no orc can get through them. Taught them to clobber orcs myself, another long story to tell you this evening. The trees have grown wild and dangerous, well not all of them, there's a couple saplings that are rather nice, bit peckish though, only drink out of the finest of springs. Anger festers in most trees' hearts. They will harm you if they can. There are too few of us now. Too few of us ents left to manage them, used to be more, many more, lots of entwives too. One opf the prettiest was Harathiel she could tend gardens all day except in winter, then she'd." "He's been going on like this for hours Bill." Pippin grumbled. "My head's beginning to hurt. He's worse then the Gaffer, and that's saying a lot."
"Yay, were out!" Aragorn sighed plunking himself down on a rock at the end of the marsh. "Not out, not yet. Not there, not now. Don't resssst sssstupid hobbit." Gollum hissed. "He'sss right, not sssmart, they shall see us, they shall!" Frodo hissed. "Fine! Just cut out the hissing!" Aragorn cried clamoring to his feet. "Where is the gate?" "Clossse, tiss very close, over big hill, it isssss." Gollum replied as he began to climb up a rocky hill, Frodo and Aragorn followed. "The Black Gate of Mordor!" "Eru save us! It's big!" Aragorn whimpered. "Stupid Hobbit says to show him the way into Mordor, so good Smeagol does. Master's friend says so." Gollum hissed. "So I did." Aragorn sighed looking out at the wall, "Blimy look at all them orcs and trolls. Well, that's it then. We cannot get past that." A horn sounded and the gate began to open. An army of the south began to fill through. "Look! The gate, it'ssss opening! I can sssssee a way down." Frodo said eagerly as he peered over the side. Suddenly the rock gave way and he fell down the hill side. "Frodo, no!!!" Aragorn cried sliding down after him. "Master!" Gollum hissed as two of the Easterners broke rank to investigate the commotion. Aragorn tugged on the ring bearer, but he would not come lose. Desperately he flung his cloak over the two of them and laid still. The Soldiers stared at what appeared to be a rock before turning away jabbering in their own tongue. ( The conversation translated to this: "I told you it was nothing!" "Did not" "Did to" "Did not!" "Did too" Ect.) "Get off ussss!" Frodo screeched as soon as the soldiers where out of ear shot. "Pervy hobbit fancier!" "I am not!" Aragorn argued. "Now come on, we can still make a run for it!" He prepared to bolt for the open gate. "Now!!" Frodo cried, before being pulled back by Gollum. "No! No, no master! They'd catch you! They'd catch you! Don't take it to him! He wants the preciousss. Always he's looking for it! And the preciousss is wanting to go back to him. But we mustn't let him have it." Gollum pleaded. Frodo pulled away. "No! There's another way. More secret and dark way." "Why have you not spoken of this before!?" Aragorn asked grabbing Gollum by the neck. "Because Master did not ask!" Gollum insisted. "He'ssss up to ssssomething." Frodo hissed. "Are you saying there is another way into Mordor?" Aragorn interrogated. "Yesss. There is a path, and some stairs, and then a tunnel." Gollum replied. "He's led us this far, and he's been true to his word." Aragorn decided. "Noooo!" Frodo pleaded. "Lead the way Smeagol." Aragorn drooped Gollum and gave him a kick. "Smeagol, yesss Sssmeagol." Gollum hissed as he lead them down the hill.
Well that one was tricky to write, manly because I had to switch Sam's (Aragorn's ) and Frodo's lines around for it to work wit their new attitudes. I hope it turned out.