Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
The song in this chapter is "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce
This story is based on the song "Changes" by 3 Doors Down and I do NOT own them!
Bosco felt the awkward tension when he would walk past people that knew about his condition. He would just give a fake smile and continue to walk, not trying to make eye contact with any of them. He was glad Faith was there for support, without her he wasn't sure where he'd be. His mom wasn't much; she would just sit and cry when he was in her presence. That was something he didn't need at the moment.
"What are you going to do tonight Boz?" Faith followed him to the parking lot and looked up at the gray clouds forming above them.
He shrugged. "Probably write my will."
She took a deep breath. "You want me there?"
"Ma's gonna be there. You can come if you want."
"I might do that." She nodded. "Swersky let me off today so I'll be there."
~~
They decided to meet at his lawyer's office at 7:00. Faith walked up the stairs slowly, the thought of Bosco writing his will hitting her hard. Bosco writing his will? This can't be right. She was startled when she saw him standing at the top of the stairs, a manila folder in his hand.
"Hey Faith." He waved the hand the folder was in.
"Hey Boz, what'cha doing?"
He stared down at the stairs below him. "Waiting on Ma to get here." His voice was quiet and low.
"It's only 6:55, she'll be here in a few minutes." Faith looked at her watch and smiled.
"Faith, what if I just threw myself down the stairs and ended it all right now?" He kept his eyes on the floor below him. "It's 6 stories, I'd surely die. Splat."
She followed his eyes and looked where he was. "Bosco, what are you talking about?"
"Killing myself. I mean, why stay alive if I know I'm gonna die anyway?"
"Because you have a chance to live out these days, make the best of them. Ending it now will just make things worse."
He took his stare away from the floor and into her eyes. "Make the best of things? That is what everyone tells me. Make the best of it. What the fuck is that supposed to mean anyway? I'm sitting here, knowing I'm a dead man. How the fuck is anyone supposed to make the best of things when they know they are fixing to die, go to la la land forever?"
Faith noticed his blank facial expression as the violent words flowed from his mouth. She knew this wasn't the real Bosco so she didn't want to waste her time. It was just the tumor causing this. "Bosco, I don't know. But you need to."
"It's all a bunch of bullshit if you ask me." He noticed his mom coming up the stairs. "You know Faith, I have a mother, and you aren't it. So why don't you just shut the hell up? Can you do that for me?"
She felt tears forming in her eyes. She hated seeing Bosco the way he was. She whispered, "Okay."
~~
Bosco sat down across from his lawyer and began to write. His hand shook as he wrote down things he thought he wouldn't have to for a long time.
"I don't have much I'm leaving behind." He looked up from the paper.
"That's okay. Just write down things, even if they are small. Everything counts." His lawyer spoke while watching him write.
Teardrops soaked the paper in front of Bosco as he paused. He watched the ink smear. "Ok, I'm done." He handed his lawyer the paper. "I gotta get outta here. Thanks." He stood up and quickly exited the room.
~~
He walked out to the parking lot and splashed through puddles being formed by the rain. He had nowhere to go. He felt trapped. He noticed Faith and Rose walking towards him and sighed. The rain poured down on them as they stood on the asphalt, silence between them.
"Maurice, let's go eat."
"I'm not hungry." He felt his legs grow numb as he fell into a large puddle. He could see Rose and Faith standing over him but he couldn't talk or move.
"Bosco!" Faith dialed 9-1-1.
~~
Faith looked through Bosco's exam room as the doctors worked on him. She had called Sully and Davis also, just so they'd know what happened.
"What happened?" Sully stared in the window, his eyes frightened by the site in front of him.
Faith wiped her nose and exclaimed, "He had another seizure." She paced back and forth, taking her eyes off of the window every few seconds.
Davis sat down and put his hands over his face. "God, I can't believe this is happening. Bosco can't die. He was always one of those people that I looked at as immortal. It's just strange to me."
"Strange or not, it's happening." Faith sat down beside him and noticed one of the doctors approaching them.
"I'm Dr. Luskens." He stuck his hand out for them to shake.
"So, what's going on with him?" Faith stood up once more and looked into the window.
"I'm sure you know he had another seizure. The tumor has grown inside his brain, overtaking many parts already. As of right now he's okay, but the next seizure he has, and he will have one, will probably cause him to go into shock, send him into a coma, and eventually cause him to go brain dead."
"Oh God!" Faith sobbed into Sully's shoulder. A small tear trickled down his face.
"Shh Faith. It's okay." He rubbed her back as they stood there in the quiet hallway of the hospital.
"Also, I want you to be aware that he is changing. He isn't the same man you knew before this. One minute he'll be happy go lucky, the next he'll be totally opposite."
Faith nodded. "Yeah, I've already experienced that. I figured it was having to do with all of this."
~~
Faith entered Bosco's room slowly after he gained consciousness again. "Hey Boz."
He lifted his hand that was bruised from the IV that had been inserted. "Hey." His voice was raspy and low.
"How you feeling?"
"My head hurts." He ran his hand over his forehead.
"Use your morphine pump, that is what it is there for."
He nodded. "I don't like using too many drugs. It just doesn't feel right."
"Okay." She stared up at the TV and noticed he was watching the Country Music Channel. That was odd, he never really did care much for country music and here he was watching it. "You into country music now?"
"It's not that bad. Talks about heartache, loss, people dying, just sorrowful stuff. Kinda like my life, don't ya think?"
"Of course not." She wasn't sure what to say to him.
He sighed and turned the TV off. "So, what's the verdict? What did the doctor tell you?"
She paced at the foot of his bed. "Probably what he told you."
"He hasn't come to talk to me yet."
"He just told me you had a seizure, that's all." She didn't want to tell him anything, it was always best to find out from the doctor, besides, she was never good at giving out bad news.
Bosco sighed and threw the remote on the table beside his bed. "Bullshit."
"Bosco, be quiet. Let the doctors tell you what you want to know, that's there job, not mine." She watched him as he rolled his eyes at her.
~~
Bosco watched as Faith lay on the small couch in his room, sound asleep and snoring slightly. He couldn't help but laugh. He rolled on his side and felt a small tear trickle down his cheek. Questions arose in his mind and he lay in the quietness of the room.
What is death like?
Will I be missed?
How will Faith take it? How will Ma take it?
Is it going to hurt?
Am I destined for heaven or hell? That question sent chills through his body. Heaven or hell, something that had always raised controversy in this country. He was sure he was destined for hell. In his mind he was never a good person, though others may have told him different. Dr. Luskens interrupted his thoughts.
"Officer, you up for a small chat?" He shut the hospital room door and sat down in a chair at the foot of the bed.
"Now or never I guess."
"Okay. What you suffered was a seizure. Now here is the bad news. If you have another one it won't be good for your body."
"Meaning?" Bosco hinted for him to continue.
"Meaning you probably won't survive it."
Bosco looked over at Faith he was slowly awaking. "Do you have an idea when I might could have another one?"
"From the reports we are giving you about one more week, maybe less."
Bosco nodded. "Well can I at least get signed out of here so I don't have to spend my last week here? I mean, what a lousy way to die right?"
"Yeah, we'll sign you out later today."
~~
Bosco interlocked arms with Faith as they walked to her truck in the parking lot. His mind was experiencing mixed emotions that he couldn't explain. He was worried about dying, but then somewhat relieved. The relieved part he didn't understand.
"Faith, you know what?" He climbed in the truck and waited for her to get in the driver's side.
"What's that Boz?"
"I'm worried about dying, but in a way I'm kind of relieved."
She turned the key forward as the engine revved up. "That's good Bosco. I'm glad you feel that way."
"I'm worried for my mom. I'm worried for..."
"For?" Faith glanced at him as she brought the truck to a stop at a red light.
"For you." He whispered as he watched some people walking in a cross walk adjacent to the truck.
"Boz, I'll be upset. But I'll always have a place for you. Always."
"Somehow you need to always remember that death is a part of life. We all experience it. There's no avoiding it. Though some people's end comes before others. I hope I at least make it to heaven."
Faith felt tears fall from her eyes. The warm moisture trickled down to her lips. She felt his hand wipe them away.
"Faith, don't cry for me. Please, that's all I ask."
"That's a hard thing to do Bosco."
He leaned his head against the window. "I wish I could just pause time and do the things I need to before all of this ends. Life is too short."
Time In A Bottle
Jim Croce
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with
TBC....
The song in this chapter is "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce
This story is based on the song "Changes" by 3 Doors Down and I do NOT own them!
Bosco felt the awkward tension when he would walk past people that knew about his condition. He would just give a fake smile and continue to walk, not trying to make eye contact with any of them. He was glad Faith was there for support, without her he wasn't sure where he'd be. His mom wasn't much; she would just sit and cry when he was in her presence. That was something he didn't need at the moment.
"What are you going to do tonight Boz?" Faith followed him to the parking lot and looked up at the gray clouds forming above them.
He shrugged. "Probably write my will."
She took a deep breath. "You want me there?"
"Ma's gonna be there. You can come if you want."
"I might do that." She nodded. "Swersky let me off today so I'll be there."
~~
They decided to meet at his lawyer's office at 7:00. Faith walked up the stairs slowly, the thought of Bosco writing his will hitting her hard. Bosco writing his will? This can't be right. She was startled when she saw him standing at the top of the stairs, a manila folder in his hand.
"Hey Faith." He waved the hand the folder was in.
"Hey Boz, what'cha doing?"
He stared down at the stairs below him. "Waiting on Ma to get here." His voice was quiet and low.
"It's only 6:55, she'll be here in a few minutes." Faith looked at her watch and smiled.
"Faith, what if I just threw myself down the stairs and ended it all right now?" He kept his eyes on the floor below him. "It's 6 stories, I'd surely die. Splat."
She followed his eyes and looked where he was. "Bosco, what are you talking about?"
"Killing myself. I mean, why stay alive if I know I'm gonna die anyway?"
"Because you have a chance to live out these days, make the best of them. Ending it now will just make things worse."
He took his stare away from the floor and into her eyes. "Make the best of things? That is what everyone tells me. Make the best of it. What the fuck is that supposed to mean anyway? I'm sitting here, knowing I'm a dead man. How the fuck is anyone supposed to make the best of things when they know they are fixing to die, go to la la land forever?"
Faith noticed his blank facial expression as the violent words flowed from his mouth. She knew this wasn't the real Bosco so she didn't want to waste her time. It was just the tumor causing this. "Bosco, I don't know. But you need to."
"It's all a bunch of bullshit if you ask me." He noticed his mom coming up the stairs. "You know Faith, I have a mother, and you aren't it. So why don't you just shut the hell up? Can you do that for me?"
She felt tears forming in her eyes. She hated seeing Bosco the way he was. She whispered, "Okay."
~~
Bosco sat down across from his lawyer and began to write. His hand shook as he wrote down things he thought he wouldn't have to for a long time.
"I don't have much I'm leaving behind." He looked up from the paper.
"That's okay. Just write down things, even if they are small. Everything counts." His lawyer spoke while watching him write.
Teardrops soaked the paper in front of Bosco as he paused. He watched the ink smear. "Ok, I'm done." He handed his lawyer the paper. "I gotta get outta here. Thanks." He stood up and quickly exited the room.
~~
He walked out to the parking lot and splashed through puddles being formed by the rain. He had nowhere to go. He felt trapped. He noticed Faith and Rose walking towards him and sighed. The rain poured down on them as they stood on the asphalt, silence between them.
"Maurice, let's go eat."
"I'm not hungry." He felt his legs grow numb as he fell into a large puddle. He could see Rose and Faith standing over him but he couldn't talk or move.
"Bosco!" Faith dialed 9-1-1.
~~
Faith looked through Bosco's exam room as the doctors worked on him. She had called Sully and Davis also, just so they'd know what happened.
"What happened?" Sully stared in the window, his eyes frightened by the site in front of him.
Faith wiped her nose and exclaimed, "He had another seizure." She paced back and forth, taking her eyes off of the window every few seconds.
Davis sat down and put his hands over his face. "God, I can't believe this is happening. Bosco can't die. He was always one of those people that I looked at as immortal. It's just strange to me."
"Strange or not, it's happening." Faith sat down beside him and noticed one of the doctors approaching them.
"I'm Dr. Luskens." He stuck his hand out for them to shake.
"So, what's going on with him?" Faith stood up once more and looked into the window.
"I'm sure you know he had another seizure. The tumor has grown inside his brain, overtaking many parts already. As of right now he's okay, but the next seizure he has, and he will have one, will probably cause him to go into shock, send him into a coma, and eventually cause him to go brain dead."
"Oh God!" Faith sobbed into Sully's shoulder. A small tear trickled down his face.
"Shh Faith. It's okay." He rubbed her back as they stood there in the quiet hallway of the hospital.
"Also, I want you to be aware that he is changing. He isn't the same man you knew before this. One minute he'll be happy go lucky, the next he'll be totally opposite."
Faith nodded. "Yeah, I've already experienced that. I figured it was having to do with all of this."
~~
Faith entered Bosco's room slowly after he gained consciousness again. "Hey Boz."
He lifted his hand that was bruised from the IV that had been inserted. "Hey." His voice was raspy and low.
"How you feeling?"
"My head hurts." He ran his hand over his forehead.
"Use your morphine pump, that is what it is there for."
He nodded. "I don't like using too many drugs. It just doesn't feel right."
"Okay." She stared up at the TV and noticed he was watching the Country Music Channel. That was odd, he never really did care much for country music and here he was watching it. "You into country music now?"
"It's not that bad. Talks about heartache, loss, people dying, just sorrowful stuff. Kinda like my life, don't ya think?"
"Of course not." She wasn't sure what to say to him.
He sighed and turned the TV off. "So, what's the verdict? What did the doctor tell you?"
She paced at the foot of his bed. "Probably what he told you."
"He hasn't come to talk to me yet."
"He just told me you had a seizure, that's all." She didn't want to tell him anything, it was always best to find out from the doctor, besides, she was never good at giving out bad news.
Bosco sighed and threw the remote on the table beside his bed. "Bullshit."
"Bosco, be quiet. Let the doctors tell you what you want to know, that's there job, not mine." She watched him as he rolled his eyes at her.
~~
Bosco watched as Faith lay on the small couch in his room, sound asleep and snoring slightly. He couldn't help but laugh. He rolled on his side and felt a small tear trickle down his cheek. Questions arose in his mind and he lay in the quietness of the room.
What is death like?
Will I be missed?
How will Faith take it? How will Ma take it?
Is it going to hurt?
Am I destined for heaven or hell? That question sent chills through his body. Heaven or hell, something that had always raised controversy in this country. He was sure he was destined for hell. In his mind he was never a good person, though others may have told him different. Dr. Luskens interrupted his thoughts.
"Officer, you up for a small chat?" He shut the hospital room door and sat down in a chair at the foot of the bed.
"Now or never I guess."
"Okay. What you suffered was a seizure. Now here is the bad news. If you have another one it won't be good for your body."
"Meaning?" Bosco hinted for him to continue.
"Meaning you probably won't survive it."
Bosco looked over at Faith he was slowly awaking. "Do you have an idea when I might could have another one?"
"From the reports we are giving you about one more week, maybe less."
Bosco nodded. "Well can I at least get signed out of here so I don't have to spend my last week here? I mean, what a lousy way to die right?"
"Yeah, we'll sign you out later today."
~~
Bosco interlocked arms with Faith as they walked to her truck in the parking lot. His mind was experiencing mixed emotions that he couldn't explain. He was worried about dying, but then somewhat relieved. The relieved part he didn't understand.
"Faith, you know what?" He climbed in the truck and waited for her to get in the driver's side.
"What's that Boz?"
"I'm worried about dying, but in a way I'm kind of relieved."
She turned the key forward as the engine revved up. "That's good Bosco. I'm glad you feel that way."
"I'm worried for my mom. I'm worried for..."
"For?" Faith glanced at him as she brought the truck to a stop at a red light.
"For you." He whispered as he watched some people walking in a cross walk adjacent to the truck.
"Boz, I'll be upset. But I'll always have a place for you. Always."
"Somehow you need to always remember that death is a part of life. We all experience it. There's no avoiding it. Though some people's end comes before others. I hope I at least make it to heaven."
Faith felt tears fall from her eyes. The warm moisture trickled down to her lips. She felt his hand wipe them away.
"Faith, don't cry for me. Please, that's all I ask."
"That's a hard thing to do Bosco."
He leaned his head against the window. "I wish I could just pause time and do the things I need to before all of this ends. Life is too short."
Time In A Bottle
Jim Croce
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with
TBC....