Chapter 1: A Winter Wonderland...
By: Elizabeth M. Potter
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It's Christmas today! I have waited for this day so long. You see, today, we're having a ball, a Christmas Ball. I had bought the dress about 2 weeks ago. I was somewhat amazed of how well I had selected my dress. I was really proud of it. Yet, I felt nervous. I can't really explain it, but I feel uneasy, a bit scared, which is really weird. I shouldn't be, right? This is just a dance, an event where people get to have fun, and that is what I want to accomplish, especially after what I had gone through this past year. Yet, that's the past, and I should try to forget it. It's Christmas. A day of celebration.
I decided to go up to my room early enough to get ready. To be honest, I actually got up here about 5 hours before the dance should start. Yikes! But, I just felt that I had to be here early. Weird, huh? Anyway, I'm almost done. Just a little bit more lip-gloss. There. Done. I look at myself now in the mirror. I notice that I really have changed. And in the process, I have learned many lessons. Though the hard way. But enough of that. Just double checking on the dress. It's quite beautiful. I had seen it in a muggle magazine and I completely fell in love with it. I found the exact one at Hogsmead. It's a black strapless dress that first the main fabric goes down to my mid-thighs, with another layer, which was transparent, overlapping it, going a bit further down, just below my knees. The second layer is decorated with little shinny black beads, forming vine-like plants and little flowers. It's very pretty. My hair is normally up in such occasions, but I decided to change it a bit. For that reason, I had straighten my hair and let it down. On my trip to Hogsmead, I had found a salon. So, I decided to cut my hair a bit, still having it long, into layers. No one really noticed because I hid my haircut by putting it up. I wanted to reveal it on the day of the ball.
I put a charm on it so it wouldn't frizz up, like it normally does. I was satisfied with how I looked. And I did it all by myself. Usually Lavender is the one helping me out, but I decided this year that I'd do it on my own. And I succeed! Now let me get my purse and wand - just case, never could be sure - and I'm off. But I still can't shake the feeling that something is going to happen. I should just forget it...
Once I entered the Hall, I was mesmerized! The Hall had completely changed. The ceiling were covered with candlelight chandeliers. You could see snow falling the beautiful white snow. The long tables were no longer present, but replaced with, I would guess, about 100 small round tables, that formed a big circle, leaving a dance floor in the middle. The tables were nicely decorated with Christmas theme stuff. In the middle of every table, there was a miniature Christmas Tree that held, as I noticed as I passed by, ornaments with our names on it, revealing who sat my whom. I was still looking for my name when...
"Hermione! Over here!"
I looked towards the voice that I had already recognized as Lavender Brown, one of my friends in the same house as me. She, and Ron Weasley, one of my best fiends, had found their table, which was right in front of the Head Table, which all the professors sat. I smiled at them as I was walking towards their table.
"Hey Lavender! You look beautiful! You look handsome too, Ron." Lavender was wearing a sleeveless yellow gown with a neckline down enough to see some cleavage. It's the exact yellow dress that Kate Hudson wore in another muggle movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Her air was put up in a bun and she had a little tiara on, to give it a bit more elegant look. Ron was not wearing those ugly dress robes. Dumbledore had permitted us to wear muggle clothes, just for special occasions. He was wearing a gray suit, white dress shirt and a gray tie.
"Thanks." They both said in unison. How funny, they still do that...
After a few seconds of silence, Lavender spoke up, "Oh, yeah, ummm...great haircut. Hogsmead?"
"Yeah, just wanted a new look. Like it?"
"Love it. Why didn't you tell us, at least show us anyway?
"I wanted it to be a surprise. So I hid it."
"You look pretty 'Mione," Ron finally spoke up. I smiled, "Thanks."
"Oh, and you're sitting with us! We found your ornament as we were looking for ours. Here." She handed me the ornament. Green...it had to be that color. It was a green ornament with gold lettering, and under my name was, printed in red, Gryffindor. It was very beautiful.
"Isn't it beautiful?" I asked as I sat down.
"Yes. Mine is lavender, with silver printing, while Ron's is-"
"A red ornament with gold printing." finished Ron.
"Who's the fourth person?" I asked, knowing the answer, but I just didn't want it to be true. I hope it wasn't...
"Well, it's...Ha-" Lavender was cut off by Professor Dumbledore, who, along with the other teachers, was already at his seat. "Welcome to Hogwarts' Christmas Ball 'A Winter Wonderland'!", Professor Dumbledore announced. Students were settling on their seats, while some cheered. Then Dumbledore spoke again, "Christmas is a very special holiday. It's a time in which happiness and joy and kindness is shared with the people you care about and love. Having known that, and feeling that it's important, I had decided to have a ball in honor of Christmas. We celebrate this holiday wi-" Thunder and lightning cut him off. "Weird weather we're experiencing. Anyway, please celebrate this holiday with those you care and love. I hope you have a great time tonight," More cheers erupted. "So to start it off, one of our students will be performing a very nice ballad called 'You Don't Have to be Alone'. So please give a round of applause to Mr. Harry Potter!" The main doors open slowly and in comes...
"Harry?" I asked. I was really surprised. Ron and Lavender looked at me with an amused look on their faces. "No! I-I just didn't know that he was going to come, that's all." Which was the truth, well half of it anyway. I heard that he wasn't going to come because he didn't want to, but then a rumor started to go around that he was going to do something at the ball, and that something wasn't known until now...I turn away from them so I could hide my smile. I'm happy that he came but then I just don't want to see him. My smile then turned upside down and became a frown. I can't face him now, not after what happened...why didn't I ju-HOLD ON! Harry Potter, singing? The Boy Who Lived sings? That's a surprised. But why is he singing?
"Go Harry! Yeah!" shouted Ron as Harry was walking towards the center of the floor.
"Yeah! GO HARRY! GET YOUR GI-" Lavender stopped. I looked at her and she just smiled. I wonder why she didn't finish. I turn my head to the floor and Harry was already in the middle of the dance floor and getting a lot of cheers from many people, especially the girls. He looks very handsome, like always. He had a tux on just like many of the boys here, with his hair all messy as usual.
The music then started. I listen closely and I'm puzzled. It sounds so familiar somehow. I turn to Ron so I could ask him why is Harry doing this, but he was already dancing with Lavender. Finally they're getting somewhere, I thought. I just smile at them and then I turn to see Harry. He was looking right at me, his eyes looking into mine, and I couldn't look away. Then I realized that he was singing...
...to me.
I don't know when we fell apart
The love that we had was like a work of art
I used to see Heaven in your eyes
Now angels are fallin' from your skies
Things we said were so wrong
And I haven't held you for so long
My foolish pride turns me inside
Why did we tell all those lies?
You can reach for the phone
You don't have to be alone
I'm speechless. Does this song mean something to him? It must because then why is he singing it? Is he trying to apologize for what he said? No, it seemed like he meant it...I should go. I don't want to cry in public again. No, that is not an option, I just can't do it again. So, the best thing is to walk away. I stood up and I started walking towards the main entrance but then I feel someone's hand grab my arm to stop. Who could it be? I hesitate to turn around but I eventually do turn around. Slowly I face this person.
"Harry..."
Outside the winter seems so cold
Your heart is frozen like the snow
And there's no one home to keep you safe and warm
Your eyes are red because you've cried
You fell asleep by the fireside
But there's one thing you should know
On this Christmas baby
You don't have to be alone
I don't want to be alone, especially on Christmas. Yes, it's true, I have been crying, for a good reason though. Remember Hermione? He meant those words. He meant them...I feel tears rolling down my cheek. Great! I'm crying! I-I...I have to run away, but I can't. H-he's holding me. And I can't seem to let go...
And I had only one wish on my list,
For me you would be the perfect gift,
There's nothing colder than an empty home,
And holidays were never meant to be alone,
The smiles we gave when our hearts were saved
By each other's love and warmth
That's subsided now happiness around
If I can only find the way to your heart
Does he mean what he says? Does he want to go back? I miss being around him, but I-I can't just go back after all I gone through. Tears are flowing freely down my cheek. I-I must stop. He hurt me, deeply. But he doesn't realize it, not yet...
Outside the winter seems so cold
Your heart is frozen like the snow
And there's no one home
to keep you safe and warm
Your eyes are red because you've cried
You fell asleep by the fireside
But there's one thing you should know
On this Christmas baby
You don't have to be alone
Harry, why? Why did you do those things? Am I not important? I want to go back to the way it used to be, but I know that it can never go back. Things have changed. Sadly, I have changed too...
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be all alone at all
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be...
Outside the winter seems so cold
Your heart is frozen like the snow
And there's no one home to keep you safe and warm
Your eyes are red because you've cried
You fell asleep by the fireside
But there's one thing you should know
On this Christmas baby
You don't have to be alone...
A huge applause rose from everybody in the Hall. Some how they had been able to surround us, Harry and I. They were cheering for us, guess for the 'hopefully' second chance 'we' would get. I don't think so. I'm still hurt. And he didn't see that, all he sees is that he wants me back and just be his friend again. A simple yet beautiful song can't, sadly, fix things. I start to cry even harder, sobs finally escaping and then everybody became quiet.
"Hermione, don't cry. Please, don't," His reaches and caresses my face but I flinch. He saw this so he put his hand down.
"I can't. (sob) I just can't!" I yell and break away from his embrace and then I just start to run towards the entrance. I hear gasps from people and phrases like "What is she doing?", "She's crazy!", "Poor Harry", "Hermione is just totally sad!"
My footsteps rang around the hall and then they slowed down. I finally reached the doors and then I stopped. I quickly wipe away the tears from my face and I slowly turn around. I could feel hundreds of eyes on me. I glance at everybody and then I look at Harry. I took a deep, yet shaky breath and I said slowly,
"You...hurt...me," A tear rolled down my cheek. "You hurt me deeply. (sob) And that is something I would never, ever forget." I fiercely wipe away the tears running down my cheek. "No body here knows the truth, Harry. Not even Lavender or Ron. Only you and I know what really happen, all the pain you caused me. But no, you're the Boy Who Lived! You would never do such a thing. Well guess what! Wrong!" I can't believe I got so pissed off so quickly. But no, I had enough. It's time that he knows how I feel. "I'm not the bookworm everybody is used to seeing. I had enough Harry. I had enough of you trying to smooth is over because it's not working!" I then realized that I was right in front of him.
"I don't want to see you pissed off-"
"Oh, I'm beyond pissed off. What pisses me off the most is not what you did, it's not realizing that it hurt me and not even trying to be understanding. You just think you could use my favorite song and repair all of this? No Harry! That's not how it works!" I start to cry hard and I buried my face into my hands.
"'Mione." He embraces me but I pushed him away. "No don't touch me!" He backs off a bit. I look down. I take a deep breath and I look up.
"It's over Harry...It's over," I said softly. A tear rolled down my cheek. "I just-I can't do this anymore. I can't take the pain." Another rolled down. I look deeply into his eyes so he could understand. "Every time I'm with you, look at you, or even hear you, I remember her." It's now or never. "I remember her and what could have been." I said softly. "But no. You," I point at him. "You took that away. I could have had her, god damn it!" I turn around a walk back to the doors.
"Hermione...wait," He pleaded
"Can I?" I turn to him. "No. That is not an option for me, Mr. Potter." I said it bitterly. "One day, one day you will know what it feels. Until then, good luck, Mr. Potter." I turn around and push open the doors. "Oh and," I turn around again. "Don't bother me. Don't talk or even come near me. Even if you are Head Boy. Oh and girls, he's free. Go ahead and get him. I don't mind." I smile evilly and I turn around.
I saw confused looks as I left. I was heading for my dorm room. I am Hermione Granger, Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Magic, and this is my story...
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A/N:I can't believe it took me so long to revise it. Anyway this is like version 4 or something. I know Hermione seems a bit evil in this chap, but read the following chaps and you will see why. Not giving anything away, yet. This chap is totally revised and I hope you guys like it. The next chapter hopefully will be coming out soon. I have finals so it may take a while. Please review, it's helps so much to read what you guys think of it. If you have any questions please e-mail me. I hope you guys did like it. Until next time...
Yours Truly,
Elizabeth M. Potter