Disclaimer: 'Gilmore Girls' does not belong to me. This story is based on characters and situations created by Amy Sherman-Palladino, and owned by the WB and its affiliates.

Reliving the Past

CharmedHPfanatic

My name is Lorelai Elizabeth DuGrey. I'm fifteen years old. My parents used to fondly call me 'Mary' but after that night, none of them ever did again.

That night, the ninth of November, also called The Night Mom Never Came Back. It started innocently enough; I was in dad's study, with my older brother, doing our homework, while our dad was working. We did that every night. Our parents were big on grades, they supervised us, made sure we did them, and if we ever needed help, we could go straight to them.

Mom called dad to say she would be home soon, that she was about to leave work. Two hours later we got another phone call. A drunk driver had hit mom's car, and her car had gone into a wall. She had died instantly. 

I didn't know that until later. Dad had dropped the phone, and ran out the door. My brother, Tristan, and I looked at each other. He was thirteen, while I was eleven. A few minutes later, our step-grandfather came to pick us up, and brought us to his house.

Dad was there. I hardly recognized him. He was usually so proud, so tall… but there he was, sitting on the couch, his head buried in his hands. He was sobbing. Grandma was there too, tears streaming down her face, unable to comfort dad.

"Dad?" I remember my brother asking nervously. Dad had looked up, and I saw his eyes. At that moment, I knew.

"Did something happen to mom?" I had asked, my voice wavering.

He pulled us both to him, and told us what had happened. That mom had died.

Dad was so miserable. I never really noticed how much they loved each other. During the wake and funeral, he looked horrible. He looked beyond pain. Grandma and Grandpa (DuGrey) had to take care of us for a month, because my dad couldn't. He couldn't deal with his own pain, much less try to appease ours. 

 When we moved back in with dad, he wasn't sad anymore, he was angry. He made sure the guy who had hit mom never saw the outside again.

He didn't smile or laugh anymore… he became absorbed in his work, started ignoring us… especially me. Grandma said it was because I looked just like mom. She said it hurt too much for him to look at me.

I'm sad to say our family fell apart after mom died. Dad now is a total workaholic, he goes to work early, and arrives late every night. He and my brother always fight. My brother always gets in trouble by pulling pranks. Just last week, he took apart his teachers car, and put it back together in the Science Hall. Not him, but he and his friends paid mechanics to do it. He was suspended for two weeks. Dad yelled at him for two hours.

My brother and I are close, I'm glad to say. But when I started Chilton, I had never known that my brother was such a player. He had so many girlfriends… Grandma said that Tristan would be Tristan. She said he was just like dad. Dad said he was afraid of that.

My relationship with my dad is complicated. I know he loves me, but he ignores me. We were eating dinner, when my brother asked how my date with my boyfriend went. I was totally surprised when dad suddenly went

"You have a boyfriend? Who is he?"

I remember telling dad that he had always been a good friend of mine, and that we had only started dating a few weeks ago. He had gotten angry, and set a rule that I wasn't allowed to date until I graduated from high school. I remember getting angry, and saying that Tristan had dated so many girls already. Dad had looked at Tristan, like he was afraid. 'Just like me,' I thought I heard him mutter.

Dad met my boyfriend, talked to his parents… I think he really must have scared him. I heard him mutter 'bag-boy' after my boyfriend left. I wonder what that meant. Suffice to say; I didn't think he liked my boyfriend very much.

"Lorelai?"

"Yeah dad?"

"Have you seen your brother?"

Uh oh. I thought. Tristan had been grounded, and had asked me to cover him. That was a bad move. Many people said I was honest to a fault. "He went out," I mumbled.

Dad came into my room. "What? He went out?"

I nodded glumly.

"How? I took his car!"

"A friend picked him up…" I mumbled again.

Dad looked at me, as in really looked at me. He smiled wryly. "Your brother asked you to cover for him, but you can't lie, can you?"

I was silent.

"So irritatingly honest," he smiled gently. "You're just like your mother," he said softly. "You're just as beautiful, honest, and good as she was."

Woah, that was praise. And it must have hurt like hell for him to say that. I smiled. "Thank you."

Then he did something he hadn't done in a very long time. He sat down beside me, and hugged me.

"I want to give you something. It's in my room."

I nodded and went up to his room. There are no pictures of mom… not unless you know where to look. When you open one of the cabinets, it's a shrine to mom. There are pictures of her, stuff from when they were dating, like concert tickets, even her clothes. Dad has never moved anything. Dad opened the cabinet, and pulled out a journal.

"This was your mom's. This is for you to know her a little better," he said, his hand was shaking.

I took it. I jumped up, and hugged him, kissing his cheek. "Thanks, dad."

He nodded. "Go, I have to track down your brother."

I smiled again, and went to my room. Where had that come from? Dad never talks about mom. He never hugs me.

I sat on my bed, and opened the journal.

Author's Note: Haven't visited this site in a while… ff.net's been down too long. Anyway, please review! How was this story? Cliched? Sad? Not worth reading? Please review!