Disclaimer: See chapter one.

Author's Note: Wow! Sixteen reviews!!! I love you all! Here's more…

Reliving the Past

CharmedHPfanatic

I sat on my bed, and opened the journal.

***

Harvard is everything I dreamed it would be. I love my professors, I love my subjects… and I love the library. The day started great, I got to know a few people, and they were really nice. Strangely, I ran into Tristan today. Yes, Evil Tristan, who can't remember my name, that Tristan.  

I smiled when I read that last statement. Mary. That was his name for her… and then, it became their name for me, because I looked just like my mom.

He was in Harvard as well. Of course, he called me Mary. I thought that military school would make him a little different, but he hasn't changed at all.

I stopped reading when I heard dad's door slam. I put the book on my bedside table, along with the many other novels I had there. Both my brother and I had inherited our mother's love of books. Dad had one of the rooms turned into a library, where we kept all our books. Every night when we were younger, after dinner, we would all go to the library where there would always be a burning fire. I would be sitting in this big squishy armchair with one of my favorite books. My brother would be seated on the floor, near the fire, reading a Dickens novel. Charles Dickens is his favorite author. Mom and Dad would be on the big couch. Dad would be reading something business-related, occasionally a random book that mom insisted he try reading, or the latest John Grisham thriller, and mom would be curled up against him, reading a Jane Austen novel, or another classic.

I tried to go to sleep, but ten minutes later, I heard my dad and brother both coming up the stairs. Dad was yelling at Tristan, something about respect and discipline… My brother was being his jerky self. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but I know he can be a real jerk.

I think it's only with me when he's not. I remember when I broke up with my boyfriend. I was crying, and crying. My brother came in, asked me what was wrong, and I told him everything. That he had cheated on me. The next day, my ex-boyfriend had a bleeding nose, and several bruises. My brother got a warning, and my dad had to come to school. Surprisingly, after he had learned why my brother had done what he had, he didn't yell or punish him. That was the first, and last time that my brother has gotten into trouble without a lecture from dad.

I counted to thirty until going outside to rescue my brother.

I poked my head out. "Uh, Tristan? Could you help me with something?"

My dad glared at my brother. "Go help your sister. But I want to see you right after."

My brother shrugged and went inside my room. He closed the door.

"Thanks."

"I got you into the mess, I told dad."

"I know you did," he replied.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be?"

"Because I told dad."

"You couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it," my brother said, but his eyes were teasing.

"You're evil."

"I know."

I smiled at him. "Oh, dad did something weird today."

"Something weirder than usual, you mean."

"Yeah. He went into my room, talked to me, hugged me, and gave me mom's old journal," I finished quietly.

Tristan looked shocked. "No way. He never does anything like that."

I got up and handed him mom's journal. My brother started reading aloud.

Harvard is everything I dreamed it would be. I love my professors, I love my subjects… and I love the library. The day started great, I got to know a few people, and they were really nice. Strangely, I ran into Tristan today. Yes, Evil Tristan, who can't remember my name, that Tristan. He was in Harvard as well. Of course, he called me Mary. I thought that military school would make him a little different, but he hasn't changed at all.

He asked me out on a date, to get to know each other again. I accepted. Moment of insanity I guess. Come to think of it, why did I accept?

My brother stopped reading. "I miss her," he said lightly.

"Who doesn't?"

"Do you think things would be different if she was around?"

I nodded. "Of course. Dad would be a lot different."

My brother rolled his eyes.

"He would. You know he misses mom a lot."

"I guess so."

"Why do you hate him so much?"

"Hate who?"

"Dad."

Tristan sighed. "I don't hate him."

"Then why do you go out of your way to disobey him?"

Tristan shrugged. "Half the time, he doesn't care what we do, or where we go. He only cares when we get in trouble. Well, not you, me."

"A cry for attention," I joked.

"Lame," he shot back.

"Read the next part."

My brother picked up the journal and started reading again.

One of the cons of studying at Harvard is that I can't rush to mom every time something happens. I miss her… and Luke, Lane, Jess… and everyone else in Star's Hollow. I wonder how everyone is doing. I miss grandma and grandpa too. I wonder how mom is dealing with Friday night dinners.

I'm glad mom and Luke finally got together. At least now she has someone to talk to while I'm away.

I miss Dean a lot, but I agree with him that we couldn't handle a long-distance relationship. Hope he's doing well in Chicago.

Unfortunately, mom has Luke, but me? Who do I talk to?

Weird. Tristan called a few minutes ago. We talked about Harvard, Chilton, books… he was so… well, caring. A total turn around from his player days at Chilton.

My brother snorted. "So that's where I get it."

I rolled my eyes, and took the journal from Tristan.

Of course, he called me 'Mary' and I've kinda gotten used to it. I'm looking forward to getting to know him again.

Paris and Jess decided not to try the long distance relationship thing. Paris was-is pretty miserable. I think Jess is the same. Well, long day, going to bed now. I need to get up early and find a good coffee place.

I closed the journal.

"I almost forgot about mom's coffee addiction," Tristan smiled sadly.

"Yeah. I remember how dad would make coffee in the morning… and then hide it the moment mom got up. She would irritate dad the whole morning until she got some."

"He always gave in, no matter how many times he said it wasn't good for her," my brother agreed. "He could never say no to her."

"That's why it was so much easier to ask mom for something, then ask dad. If mom said yes, dad would agree too."

My brother looked at the family picture on my dresser. We were kids when that picture was taken. Dad was trying to keep Tristan from squirming, and mom was holding me in her arms, laughing at him. It was a candid shot that grandma took.

Tristan got up. "Well, I'm going to bed."

"Don't forget to talk to dad," I automatically reminded him.

"So that he can yell at me? No thanks, I'd rather sleep."

I woke up the next morning, and got ready for school. I put the journal in my bag. I ran down to the dining room. My dad and Tristan were already there, dad was looking at some business stuff, and Tristan was just sitting there, waiting for me.

"I'm ready."

"Let's go," my brother got up, and headed out.

"Bye dad!" I called. He didn't look up. Okay, I thought that last night changed things. Apparently not. Dad was back to pretending I didn't exist.

I got into Tristan's car. It was a BMW, dad gave it to him for his birthday. When we arrived at Chilton, I got out before he parked. It wasn't that Tristan was ashamed to be seen with me, it was the other way around. I didn't like going to school with him. It's hard when your friends have huge crushes on your brother.

"Hi Lorelai," my best friend Willow greeted. She was Spanish, German and something else. I could never remember what the other one was. She was tan, with dark hair and eyes. I had no idea why her name was Willow. She said she didn't know either. Her name was Maria Regina something something. Long unpronounceable name. Very strict parents. We have been best friends since kindergarten. Dad used to tease mom and I that we were given foreign best friends with strict parents for a reason.

"Hi," I greeted. "Were you able to finish the Bio paper yesterday?"

"No… I couldn't find the right book. It's due next week, anyway."

"Procrastinator."

"Can't help it."

I smiled. We walked to our next class together. Willow suddenly made a face.

"What's wro-" I stopped, when I saw what she was looking at.

I grabbed her arm and quickly walked out of the hallway.

I bet you all want to know what she saw.

It was Tristan. And a girl. Need I say more? It was just kissing, you see it every day on TV, but when it's your brother… eew.

"Who's the new girl?" I asked my brother as we got into the car.

"New girl?" he repeated.

"Yeah, the one this morning?"

"Oh, that was Natasha."

"I thought you were seeing Trisha?"

"I still am."

"What about Claire?"

"Her too."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm spending the night at grandma's"

"I know. Is dad dropping you off?"

I looked at him.

"Didn't think so."

"Call the house and one of the maids to be ready with your bag, so all we need to do is get the bag, and go."

"It's already in the car. I told them to put it there this morning."

My brother nodded, and started the drive to Stars Hollow. "Did you bring mom's journal?" he said neutrally.

"Yeah, of course," I replied.

"Oh."

"Did you want it?"

He shrugged.

"Why don't you stay at grandma's too, that way we could read it."

"Okay."

"Aren't you going to get your stuff?"

"No, I left some stuff there the last time."

"Why don't you call dad, and tell him that you'll be staying at Star's Hollow."

"He wouldn't care. Waste of time. Probably wouldn't notice anyway."

Tristan, my grandparents, and I were reading mom's journal when the phone rang. Grandma picked it up.

"Hello? Woah, slow down, they're both here."

"She did. I talked to you, don't you remember?"

"He decided to stay here too."

"Mmm. Okay." Grandma handed the phone to Tristan. "Phone for you. Very angry paternal guardian."

My brother rolled his eyes. "Yeah?"

"No," Tristan said tonelessly.

"So what?"

"Wow, gold star for your observational skills," Tristan said sarcastically.

"It's not like you care, it's not like you ever cared."

I watched my brother nervously. I saw my brother about to hang up when I grabbed the phone. "Dad?"

"Lorelai?" I heard my father ask. He sounded tired.

"Yeah. Why did you call?"

"I forgot that you were spending the night at Star's Hollow. Came in to check on you guys, you weren't there, both cell phones were unreachable."

My brother's earlier response came to mind. It's not like you care, it's not like you ever cared. "You never check on us."

He was silent for a moment. "Your brother is always out, so it's just you actually. I always do. You're always already asleep."

"Oh."

"Well have fun, Lorelai. Good-bye."

"Dad, wait," I said quickly.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

My dad was silent. "I… love you too. Good night."

He hung up the phone.

I pressed the talk button on the phone to shut it of. Grandma, grandpa, and Tristan were all staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothing," Grandma replied. "It's just… how often have you said that to your dad?"

"She hasn't since mom died," my brother interjected.

I saw the flicker of grief that came across my brother and grandparents faces.

"There's something… different about him. I don't know what it is," I finally said.

"Different? How?" Grandpa asked.

"Well for one, he's talking to me, isn't he?"

Grandpa nodded. "He gave me mom's journal… and, I don't know. He doesn't carry that 'I'm extremely rich, and extremely busy, don't bother me you're not worthy of my time. ' aura anymore. Well, he still kinda has it but it's weaker.

Grandma turned to my brother. "Have you noticed anything?"

"Nope. 'You're a disappointment to the DuGrey name' speeches still coming," my brother said offhandedly.

"Sweetie, you're not a disappointment."

Tristan smirked. "Really?"

Grandma looked at Luke, and then spoke. "Okay, you are."

My brother shrugged.

"But, I was a disappointment too," she hurriedly added.

"Okay… I don't really want this talk now. Can we have it in the morning?"

Grandma sighed. " I didn't want to talk about this, but you brought it up. Listen, hear me out. You have no idea how much Tristan loved your mother. Its… so hard for him… just to go through each day is a challenge. He is dealing with things the way he knows how, and I know it's not the best way."

My brother snorted. "Damn right."

Grandpa shot Tristan a glare. "Look. Your dad is doing the best he can. If you don't shape up to please him, think what your mother would say if she was still here. Do you think she'd be proud of you, getting suspended, grades slipping and always in trouble?"

My brother's flippant attitude disappeared. "I'm going to bed," he announced, and got up.

We all watched him go. "Luke, that was harsh," Grandma told him reproachfully.

"Someone has to yank him out of it, and Tristan isn't doing it the right way."

"Luke, he's still grieving for her, they… no we all are."

"You think it's just a phase? Was it 'just a phase' when Tristan got shipped off to military school?"

They seemed to have forgotten I was there. "Yes! It passed!" came grandma's reply.

"No, it didn't. What made him change was Rory. Unless Tristan's been hiding something from us, I doubt there's a girl he torments but is secretly in love with."

"Um, I'm going to go to bed now," I said to no one in particular.

"Oh, honey…" grandma started, realizing I was there.

I smiled quickly. "No, you don't need to say anything. I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired."

"I think that's a good idea, we're all tired," grandpa answered. "Good night Lorelai," he smiled comfortingly at me. "Don't stay up too late reading," he advised.

I grinned. "Not possible." I kissed them both on the cheek and went to my room. Mom's old room.

I woke up in the middle of the night. I heard voices coming from downstairs. It sounded like grandma and dad. I crept quietly downstairs.

"…Tristan, how could you keep this from us, from your children!" I heard grandma say. What had dad been keeping from us?

"Lorelai, please, I don't need this. Sign it!" I heard dad reply. Sign it? What was he making her sign?

I heard grandma give a sigh of exasperation.

"Thanks," that was dad again. "I'm leaving, I have to-"

"No," Grandpa cut in sharply.

"What?" Dad asked in his 'who-the-hell-do-you-think-you're-talking-to?' tone.

"You're not leaving without telling your children what you just told us."

"I'll tell them when they come back." Good n-"

"No. You will tell them now."

"They don't need to know now."

"Tristan, they do!" grandma cried.

I couldn't take it anymore. The suspense was killing me. I walked down and went into the kitchen. "What do we need to know?"