Disclaimer: Don't own 'Gilmore Girls'

Author's Note: Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I wanted to post sooner, but I thought the chapter was too short, and I couldn't lengthen it... and I felt guilty for leaving you guys at a cliffhanger, so... here it is.

Chapter Three: Things You Never Knew

Dad, grandma, grandpa, and Mr. Lascar, our family lawyer, were all in the kitchen, seated at the table. They all looked shocked to see me there. "Lorelai, how long have you been listening?" grandpa asked.

I looked at the ground guiltily. "Um, not long."

"How long?" Dad asked.

"A few seconds long?"

Dad nodded. "Go back to sleep."

"Tristan." That was Luke. Very accusing, and very scary. "Lorelai, your dad has something to tell you."

I looked expectantly at my dad, who looked like he was trapped. "Uh, lets go to your room."

Wow. That was weird, I don't remember him ever going there. We went upstairs together, and we both sat on the bed.

"So, Lorelai…" he began. "Uh… god this is difficult."

I was silent.

He turned to me and sighed. "I guess you know what a brain tumor is."

My insides froze. "What?"

"A brain tumor. Malignant, inoperable," he said quietly. "I've got six months. What I'm trying to do now is to get everything in order so that there won't be any… complications when-"

"Since when have you known?" I asked, in a voice so cold, it didn't sound like me.

"Three months ago. Look Lorelai-"

"You knew about the brain tumor or that you were going to die?" I asked again in that unrecognizable voice.

"That I was going to die," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not telling you sooner."

"You're not. You're not sorry. You weren't going to tell us," I said, tears coming.

Dad was quiet. "No, I wasn't."

"When were you going to? Were we going to find out like we found out about mom, we come home from school, and suddenly its like 'Dad's dead, is pasta okay for dinner?'"

"Lorelai, please be rational-"

"I'm not going to be rational! Tristan and I are about to loose the only parent we have left, and you're telling me to be rational!"

Dad was silent. I threw my arms around him. "Dad… I don't want you to die… don't leave us…"

He hugged me back. "I don't want to. But its something you'll have to expect. When I die, Luke and Lorelai will be your legal guardians. If anything happens to them, you go to Paris and Jess or Lane and Henry."

"I-Is that why you gave me the journal?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry if for the past years I haven't been the best dad. But, I'm trying to make things different now." "You should have tried to make things different a long time ago."

"I know."

"Does Tristan know anything?"

"No. I kept it from the both of you. I didn't think anything would really happen… not until a few days ago. I thought it would pass."

"A tumor isn't a fever."

"No, it's not."

"Are you scared?"

"I'm scared of what will happen to you two."

"Are you scared of dying?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

"Of course no-" I looked at my dad expectantly knowing what his answer would be. He sighed. "In a way, a very selfish way, yes."

I knew what he was talking about. Dad probably wouldn't ever have moved on… or at least tried to move on after mom's death if it wasn't for Tristan and I. He welcomed it because it was a way to see mom again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been twenty minutes since dad told Tristan about his tumor, and eighteen minutes since Tristan had stormed out of the house, not saying a word. It had been seventeen minutes since dad ran out after him, and five minutes since they've been talking in the guest room.

I was in the living room with grandma and grandma where we were all pointedly not trying to hear what was going on inside. Uh huh. We were all in the living room, with the TV on, but on very low volume, pretending we were interested in the Oompa Loompas dancing on stage, but really we were all straining to hear what my dad and brother had been talking about. They came out a few minutes later. Dad didn't say anything but hugged me and kissed me good-bye before getting into his car and driving to work. Strange how he still worked.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Did you suspect anything?" I asked my brother that night. We were in his room this time, I had gone in to talk to my brother about his talk with my dad.

Tristan looked away. "Now that I think about it, he was... more distracted, and sometimes when he'd be yelling at me he'd loose focus, and say something different altogether. Didn't you remember anything?"

"Hello, ignoring me," I retorted. But... "Well, there was once I was up late, and I used the computer in his study to print because my printer had no more ink... he walked in a few hours later, and called me 'Rory.' He started talking to me, like I was mom... I'm not sure if it was the tumor..."

Tristan looked back at me, and looked down. "Well you do look a lot like her..."

"I know."

"I wonder if she's up there, watching everything down here."

"Of course she is."

"I wish she wasn't."

That made me look at my brother strangely. Why? "Why?" I asked.

"Grandpa was right. If mom was here now... god, I wonder what she'd think of me."

I opened my mouth to reply, when dad came in.

"There you two are. What are you doing?"

"Reading mom's journal," my brother answered.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Join right in," I replied, scooting over to make room for dad on the bed.

He sat down and we opened the journal. I saw Dad glance at the family picture that Tristan kept in his room. It was taken when Tristan was about ten. We were in Star's Hollow... for mom's birthday. Dad looked away from the picture, and turned his eyes to the journal, and started reading.