After their liaison, Lene couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. She new how good it was but she knew even more that she wasn't allowed that much pleasure and she knew that she couldn't let it happen again.

That's why she had been avoiding Snape ever since. It had been over a week since their encounter and he had been dying to see her but she had been absent from all his classes.

She was doing that on purpose because she knew how they would re-act in each other's range but she was skipping his classes.

~~*~~

He was going crazy, of course he wanted to see her, feel her, kiss her. That's all he was thinking about lately. He had been to her dorm, the library, anywhere she may have been but he couldn't find her. For all he knew, she had left the planet.

She felt so bad about what she had done, she started cutting herself again. Although she hadn't cut her wrists she was cutting her thighs and upper arms, places that people would have no idea of. Infact she had done that nearly everyday.

Her grades had dropped drastically, her attitude and temper had gotten worse. She hadn't slept, she was vomiting, she had no energy, and she was so depressed that she just wanted to leave the school. She was so scared, she had cried endlessly when she was alone, and she was falling apart.

~~*~~

She had just finished transfiguration, potions was next and there was no way she was going there so she just went where she normally went during this class.

She went and sat under a tree near the lake. She started thinking about everything that happened. She was so scared that she started crying into her cupped hands.

Snape got a reliever for today's class because he was on a mission. Since she wouldn't go to him he would go for her and he wouldn't stop looking for her until he had found her and discovered the reason of her absence.

He searched everywhere, library, dorm, he went out on to the grounds but couldn't see anyone; he was about to go back into the castle when he heard something. He went to look, the closer he went the more vivid the noise was, he realised it was someone crying.

He was close enough to see who it was. He nearly collapsed to the ground. It was as if his heart had broken all over again.

Why was she crying? He thought, she looked so tiny and lonely down there by herself.

He slowly approached her, he just wanted to hold her and kiss her tears away.

She heard someone coming from behind her so she quickly wiped her face and tried to make a run for it because the last thing she needed was another lecture.

Pity she was too late to move, Snape had started to embrace her from behind, so tightly as if he was scared she would melt, she was freezing.

She started crying, louder because his grip had put a lot of pressure on her wounds that she made that morning.

'What's wrong Lene?' he said quietly.

'Your hurting me' her eyes were starting to water; she didn't want him to see her crying.

'What? Im hurting you?'

'My arms, your hurting my arms!' she was gasping really hard now.

He let go and undid her cloak, he examined her arms, she tried to stop him but she was in too much pain.

He saw blood soaking through her shirt; he slowly undid her shirt and found deep cuts on each arm. His breathing started getting really harsh and his eyes were starting to water.

'Lene what have you done?' She was avoiding his stare.

He started cleaning her wounds with a spell from his wand, he was furious. He picked her up and carried her to her dorm. On the way she lost consciousness, he couldn't believe how limp and lifeless she was. He noticed that she had definitely lost some weight.

~~*~~

She woke up from a bad dream, it was very unclear but all she could remember was Snape and blood. She opened her yes and realised that it was no dream, Snape was infact sitting there staring, he had been there the whole time.

She had some energy back but not enough; she was still unclear about the situation.

'What happened? How did I get here? Why are you here?' It was as if he didn't even hear her, she noticed that his eyes were so distant, all he seemed to think about at this moment was that she had awoken.

He traced his hand down her face, his hand was shaking, and she was staring away from him.

'Why haven't you been to class?'

'I have been to class'

'Not mine' she was silent for a while, he continued.

'Why have you been ignoring me?' she still avoided him.

'I.haven't'.

'Yes you have, I haven't seen you since'.

'Well you've seen me now so I think you should go'.

'Why are you cutting yourself.LENE LOOK AT ME!' he demanded, his voice was shaking, she slowly laid her eyes on him.

'Why Lene?' he begged.

'I.I cant.you wouldn't understand' he held her face with both hands.

'Help me understand, I need to know'

'I cant, it hurts' she was on the verge of crying now.

'Something's going on, why are you avoiding me? Why are you hurting? Your pale, you've lost weight, you're absent, your hurting. Let me in Lene' she slowly gave in.

'I cut myself to make them go away'

'Make what go away'

'The memories.I was raped when I was 8, most nights I have nightmares, they're so vivid and when I cut myself the images disappear'.

'Lene.FUCK, im so sorry'

'NO YOUR NOT! Why do people always say that? Is it supposed to make me feel better? Don't say sorry. I admit I have been avoiding you because I wanted you so much but im not allowed to be happy'

'WHAT? You have no idea how much it kills me to see you in this state, don't you understand that I love you?'

'WHAT? You cant love me, I wont let you!'

'Too late, now don't avoid the subject, this doesn't explain why you're so pale and thin' she had been trying to avoid this the most.

'I.I cant tell. I don't know why, sorry' he could tell she was hiding something.

'No more lies, please Lene' she got out of her bed and tried to leave the room and nearly dropped to the floor from dizziness but Snape caught her and carefully sat her in his lap.

'What's wrong Lene?' she started crying.

'Im. well I don't know how to say it.im. well you know about what happened last week.when' she stopped so many times during that sentence, this was the hardest thing she ever had to do.

'Offcourse I remember, you were amazing'.

'Please don't, its hard enough as it is.the thing is.im pregnant.that's why ive been avoiding you and have been vomiting' it was quiet for ages but he was still gazing at her.

'I had no idea'

'I know, im freaked out about it myself'

'I bet, anyone would be'

'Yeah I guess but why did it have to be me of all people? I don't think.'

'Well whatever you decide to do I will be there for you no matter what, I meant it when I said I loved you' she smiled at him then kissed him softly on the nose.