In Love and War - Part Five

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Obi-Wan still found it hard to believe Onara had retuned to him and, most miraculous of all, had forgiven him. Even now, as he held her close, felt her heart beating against his, reveled in the warmth of her body in his arms, it all seemed too good to be true. He pulled away and looked into her eyes. They were as dark and as beautiful and as full of love as they'd always been when she looked upon him.

"How do you feel?" he asked, stroking her wet cheek.

"Fine. I feel fine."

"Not tired or weak?"

Onara shook her head. "It just feels as if I've had a really long and restful sleep." Onara looked around her chamber at the machines surrounding her bed. "How long was I in the _yanol_?"

"You were aware of what had happened?"

Onara looked back at him, her eyes solemn. "Yes, I was aware. But it was as if I were in some kind of thick fog. I heard voices, but only dimly. I knew the way out, but I didn't want to take it, because I couldn't bear the pain of...." She stopped and lowered her head, biting her lip.

Obi-Wan took her chin and gently lifted her face towards his, his eyes gazing deeply into hers. "I know, Onara. You don't have to say anymore. But, to answer your question, you were in the _yanol_ for almost a month. We've been on Ahjane for two weeks."

"A month?" Onara stared at him in disbelief. "A month?" she repeated.

Obi-Wan nodded. "You said you heard voices while you were in the _yanol_. What kind of voices?"

"I heard people talking, but their voices were always so soft, so far away. I could never hear what they were saying, though sometimes I sensed things. Painful things. Then, all of a sudden, I heard this woman's voice. It was strangely accented. And it was so loud. She was shouting at me, telling me to wake up, telling me...." Onara stopped and cupped Obi-Wan's face. "Telling me you were here and that you needed me."

Obi-Wan turned his head and pressed his lips against her fingers. "She was right," he whispered as he kissed the palms of her hands.

Then, gently, he told her everything that had happened since she had entered the _yanol_. He watched her carefully as he told her about Dalan's death. The shock on her face and the tears she wept made him fearful she would slip away again, so he held her close, whispering words of comfort to keep her with him. Once she was done weeping, he told her the rest, about Lursan's death and his expulsion from the Order.

"But, Obi-Wan, why didn't you recant your confession?"

"Why?" He sighed and, taking her hand, stroked her long, slender fingers. "Would you believe me if I told you I really don't know why? To be with you, yes, that was part of it. A great part of it. The fact I thought the Force had betrayed me, and I no longer wished to serve or follow its will was still another part."

"But it was more, wasn't it?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I should have killed Lursan. Just as I should have brought Ben's spirit----"

Onara put her fingers against his mouth, stopping the rest of his words. "Speak no more of it, Obi-Wan. I was wrong to have blamed you. You are a Jedi. Yes, you are," she said firmly, when he shook his head at her. "You are a Jedi Knight, and you will always be a Jedi Knight. Whether you are part of the Order or not. You did what you thought was best. For us all."

"But he was our son," Obi-Wan whispered, tears now falling down his cheeks. "I should have saved him. Given up the world, my soul, my life for him."

Onara kissed his tears, then put her arms around his shoulders when he lowered his face onto her neck.

"Yes, my darling, he was our son. But, please, you must stop blaming yourself. It wasn't you who killed Ben. It was Lursan. Not you. And I love you, Obi-Wan. I love you so much. I don't want to lose you, but if you don't stop beating yourself up like this, I will lose you. I'll lose the best parts of you."

Obi-Wan wept in Onara's arms, his tears falling upon her neck, wept as he had longed to do from the moment Ben was lost to them. He let go of all the grief and all the pain he had held in for so long, and in her arms, as she eased his tormented soul with her gentle words of solace, running her fingers lovingly through his hair, he found the forgiveness and absolution he had sought. Finally, once his tears were spent, he slowly pulled away.

Onara gazed tenderly up at him, smiling as she stroked his face. Then, a mischievous light suddenly sparkled in her dark eyes.

He returned her smile. "What's is it? What's so funny?"

"Your beard. You shaved it off."

A corner of Obi-Wan's mouth quirked as he stroked his now clean-shaven jaw. "Umm, yes. This morning."

Onara tilted her head. "I've never seen you without a beard."

He suddenly felt nervous. "What do you think?"

She studied him for a moment. "Well, you look much younger, but not as Jedi masterly, if you know what I mean."

He frowned. "Is that good or bad?"

Onara shrugged. Then leaning over, she kissed the cleft in his chin. "I never knew you had this with all that fur hiding it," she murmured, causing the bottom of Obi-Wan's stomach to drop when she kissed his chin again, her lips lingering longer this time.

He laughed softly as she pulled away, delighted she had found it within herself, despite her grief, to tease him. Then they both feel silent for a long moment, their hands clasped tightly together.

"Where are they?" Onara finally asked him in a small voice, flickering shadows having replaced the bright laughter that had been in her eyes.

Obi-Wan tried to swallow, but his throat had thickened. "Downstairs. In stasis coffins."

Pain twisted Onara's face and she grew paler. Obi-Wan gripped her hands.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Don't worry. I'll fine." She released a heavy breath. "You didn't...go ahead with the funerals?"

Obi-Wan could still hear the pain in her voice, but now he sensed a layer of strength in it that hadn't been there before.

"I wanted to wait for you," he told her.

Onara looked over at him, her dark eyes full, her throat working. "Thank you," she whispered.

Obi-Wan gently stroked her hair. "Simtro and I have made all the arrangements. We thought a small private ceremony, here at the manor, would be best."

Onara nodded, her eyes locked on his. He searched them, making sure she was all right, then squeezed her hands and went on. "Then, if you're up to it, a memorial service in the capital, for the public and members of the Assembly."

"It sounds fine, Obi-Wan." She closed her eyes for a moment and drew in a deep, cleansing breath. "I'd like to see them."

"Of course."

"But, first I want to see the woman who was here. The one who brought me back."

"Auna?"

Onara's eyes widened. "That was Auna? I should have guessed. Yes, I want to see her."

Obi-Wan unhooked her from the machines and, putting his arm around her waist, helped her out of the bed, but he could see she was perfectly capable of standing on her feet.

"I'm fine, Obi-Wan, really," she told him as he helped her over to the closet. She opened it and took out a peach-colored silk robe. "I'm not weak at all."

"Are you hungry?"

Onara tied the robe around her waist. She looked over at Obi-Wan, one dark brow arched. "Now that you mention it, I am. Quite hungry."

"I'll have breakfast sent up."

Onara shook her head. "I want to take a bath first, but, if I've been in this room for two weeks, I want to have breakfast someplace else."

Obi-Wan nodded. He could understand that. He walked over and hugged her. Onara nestled her face against his chest, her arms sliding about his waist.

"I can't believe you're here," she whispered, holding him tight. "Will you stay?"

"I've longed for this moment since that day I left you that first time after the blessing ceremony. Will I stay, you ask?" His breath was warm and soft against her hair as he held her tighter. "For as long as you want, my love. That's how long I'll stay."

He felt her smile against his chest. "Then, Obi-Wan, I'm afraid you'll have to stay for quite some time because I want you to stay with me forever."

She looked up at him, and, as Obi-Wan gazed down into the dark beauty of her eyes, he felt such a love for her at that moment, a love as eternal and infinite as the universe, it both exhilarated and frightened him. He had let her go twice before, had nearly lost her this time, but no more, he vowed as he lowered his head and kissed the tip of her nose, then her eyelids, and finally, her soft, warm mouth. He would not leave or lose her again.

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"What Auna doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing," Auna snapped as she stuffed a pair of trousers into a travel bag, shooting an irritated glance at Zaka where he loomed in the door of her rooms. "I'm packing."

"Zaka told Auna not to do it."

"Yeah, yeah, so ya were right for once. Don't wear it out."

She fastened the bag and, looking around, made sure she hadn't left anything.

"Zaka coming with Auna."

"Suit yarself," she said.

Zaka nodded and left her rooms. Then, just as Auna was about to go out the door, Obi-Wan walked through it. He frowned when he saw her travel bag.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Auna shrugged, avoiding looking at him. "Not sure yet. Might try the Djarah Cluster."

"Is that want you want? To leave?"

Auna finally looked him in the eyes. "Isn't that what ya want? For me to leave? I would think ya would after what I did to yar lady love."

Obi-Wan shook his head. He walked over and stood in front of her.

"Auna, Auna, Auna," he said, smiling warmly as he took her upper arms and shook her gently. His blue-gray eyes, she saw, were now bright, with none of the dimness they'd had before. Plus, she noted, he had a rather attractive cleft in his chin which was visible now that he was beardless.

"What am I going to do with you?" he went on, still smiling. "Auna, you did what I should have done, what we all should have done."

"Then yar not angry at me?"

"Angry at you? No, far from it. She's come back, and you were the one who brought her back and now she wants to thank you."

Auna's violet eyes widened and her pointed ears twitched. "She does?"

Obi-Wan nodded, smiling widely at her. He took her by the arm and led her out of her rooms to where Onara was waiting.

To be continued....