In Love and War - Part Eight
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"I miss them," Onara said softly as she gazed sadly at the door of the mausoleum. "But, my heart is at rest now. Ben is with my father, and he'll watch over my darling. As will Dalan."
"Yes, they will." Obi-Wan kissed her forehead.
"Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, love?"
"What do the Jedi believe? About the afterlife?"
Obi-Wan considered her question as he took her arm and led her away from the mausoleum and over towards the gardens that abutted it.
"We believe that after death all life becomes one with the Force."
"One with the Force?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"And a person doesn't retain his or her spirit? That which made them unique?"
Obi-Wan tilted his head and frowned. He'd never been much of a student of the more esoteric aspects of the Force, though he knew that down through the long history of the Jedi Order much had been written and discussed about what happened after death, with the general consensus being that upon death a being became one with the Force and did not retain its individuality.
The Abyss, the name the Jedi had given to the barrier between corporeality and dissolution, was the final stage before a living being lost its individuality, and, as he now told Onara, once a spirit had passed through that barrier, it was then consumed by the Force.
Onara walked alongside him. He saw she was mulling over his words. They continued moving among the sweet-scented blossoms, the soft trilling of birds a gentle accompaniment, the mid-morning sun warming them and, as Onara continued to remain silent, Obi-Wan looked past the gardens and over to the snowy peaks and purple-dappled sides of the Larab mountains.
There was hardly any sign of the war that had brought him and Anakin to Ahjane nearly five years to negotiate a peace accord that had included Onara being given in marriage to Dalan's uncle who was, at that time, Dynast of Kindah province. That marriage had also involved Obi-Wan's participation in the Ahjane blessing ceremony, a ritual he had most vehemently not wanted to take part in. Now, as he walked beside the woman with whom he had participated in that ceremony with and now loved above all things, he couldn't imagine her not being in his life.
"Obi-Wan, I can't say I much like the Jedi's concept of the afterlife," Onara suddenly said, interrupting his thoughts.
He nodded. "I understand. I have observed that most cultures in the galaxy prefer to believe in some kind of life after death. Sentient beings are the only living things that are aware that someday they will cease to exist. It is comforting to imagine that death is not the end."
"It isn't the end, Obi-Wan," Onara said softly, her dark eyes gazing somberly up into his. "I know it isn't. I know what you did for me, bringing me back that time when I was ill, but I don't believe I would have been consumed by the Force if I had died."
Obi-Wan smiled and stroked her cheek. "I like the idea of the House of Eternal Light."
"But you don't believe in it?"
Obi-Wan sighed. He pressed Onara's arm against his side. "I can't say for certain what happens to us after we die, Onara. It is one of the eternal mysteries, even to the Jedi. I know only what I was taught. But, I have heard some Jedi Masters, my own former master included, posit the idea that it may be possible to preserve the body's spirit after death."
"Really?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "The idea is considered somewhat heretical to most traditionalists within the Order, but there have been writings about it in the ancient texts."
"Do they also believe it is possible for a spirit to return?"
"Return? You mean as in being reborn?"
"Yes. Do they believe we can come back after death?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "If they did, I've never heard it spoken of. Remember, the majority of Jedi don't believe we retain our identity after death, much less come back in another life."
"We have what you call heretics in our religion too, and some of them do believe this. That we can and do come back."
Obi-Wan nodded, but said nothing. He was afraid where this was leading. He decided to change the subject.
"Onara?"
"Yes?"
"I saw you talking with Simtro. He said something that upset you. What was it?"
Onara looked up at him. Then she sighed, shaking her head.
"Tell me," he urged gently. "Let me help if I can."
"It's about the memorial service."
"The one in the capital?"
Onara nodded.
"What about it?"
She released another exasperated breath. "Simtro doesn't think you should attend it, Obi-Wan."
"Why?"
She looked up at him. "It's not a reflection on you, dear one. It's just..." She stopped and bit her lip.
"What, Onara, what's happened?"
"There's been talk in the capital. Talk about you. And me."
Obi-Wan stopped walking and frowned. "What kind of talk?"
"About your living here at the manor. About what your intentions are."
"My intentions?"
"There's been speculation, especially among some members of the Assembly, that you want to marry me."
Obi-Wan was about to say that of course he wanted to marry her, but he detected something in her voice that cautioned him to hear her out first.
"And?"
"And there have been rumors, terrible, disgusting rumors, that you had something to do with Dalan's death."
"WHAT! That's insane, preposterous!"
"I know, darling, I know it is. Simtro believes it's Dalan's family who is spreading these lies, that they hope to create some kind of scandal in order to strengthen their case when they go to the tribunal to contest Dalan's will." Onara turned away from Obi-Wan as she paced angrily across the grass, her hands clenched into fists. "Oh, I should just give them the money, the province, everything! I don't want it. I don't care about it."
"No, Onara," Obi-Wan said, going over and taking her hands. "Dalan wanted you to have it. That's why he willed it to you. It's rightfully yours. And remember, part of the reason you married Dalan and that your provinces were joined was to prevent another war. You mustn't give in to these people. If they get their hands on Dalan's province, it will undo all the hard work you and he put in to ensure peace on Ahjane."
Onara stared up at him for a long moment. "You're right, Obi-Wan. Of course. I mustn't think only of myself."
"Is Simtro afraid that if I appear with you at the memorial service it will make things difficult for you in the tribunals?"
"Yes, he does."
"Then I won't go."
"No, Obi-Wan! You talk about my not giving in to them, but if you don't go with me, then it will be you giving in to their disgusting lies."
Obi-Wan cupped her face. "Listen to me, Onara. Simtro is right, No, he is," he said as she fiercely shook her head. "He's doing his job, and his job is to look after you and your affairs. You have to admit, my position here is somewhat untenable."
"What do you mean?"
"What am I, Onara? A Jedi who brought you home when you were in your _yanol_? I'm no longer a Jedi. The father of your child? Dalan, according to Ahjane law, was Ben's father. No, what I am, at least to those who would seek to do you wrong is the man who was accused on the HoloNet of being your lover and cuckolding your husband."
"But, Dyslogia Twang publicly withdrew that slander."
One of Obi-Wan's brows arched up. "Yes, he did, after you and Anakin went to see him."
Onara's eyes widened. "How did you know about that? Anakin promised not to say anything."
Obi-Wan smiled down at her. "I'm afraid Anakin's loyalty to me as his master outstripped any promises he may have made to you."
"You miss him, don't you?"
Obi-Wan's eyes dimmed. "Yes, very much so."
"Have you heard from him since you left?"
He shook his head. "I do hope he's all right. However, you're changing the subject, Onara. Do as Simtro has advised."
"I don't like it. I don't like giving in to slanders and innuendoes."
"Neither do I, but until the contestation of Dalan's will is resolved, I think it would be wise for you to avoid any hint of impropriety. Don't you?"
"Impropriety," Onara sneered. "That's ironic. The Lenor clan has its nerve accusing anyone of impropriety. Except for Dalan, all of them have been implicated in some sort of scandal or another."
"All the more reason, then, to keep your reputation as immaculate as possible."
"Obi-Wan, when I gave birth to a child who was conceived during a blessing ceremony, that was enough disgrace to last me a lifetime as far as most of Ahjane society was concerned."
"Marrying Dalan and his having given Ben his name mollified some of that disgrace, didn't it?"
"Yes, somewhat." Onara moved into Obi-Wan's arms, gazing up at him with her beautiful dark eyes. "Oh, my dear one, I wish we could run away, far away. Just the two of us. I wouldn't care if we didn't have a credit between us or if all the land we owned was just what was under our feet. As long as you were with me, I'd feel like the wealthiest woman in the galaxy."
Obi-Wan stroked her hair. "I wish that too, love. More than you know, but you can't run away from who you are. You have a responsibility, not only to the people who live within the provinces you now rule, but to Ahjane." He took her by the shoulders. "I know you, love. You're not the kind of woman to run away from responsibility."
Onara smiled up at him. "You do know me, don't you? And you're right. I'm the daughter of a Dynast, twice widowed to two Dynasts. I can't nor will I run away."
Obi-Wan returned her smile and kissed her forehead. "So, you'll go to the memorial service without me?"
"Yes, but it will be the only thing I will ever go to without you, Obi- Wan."
He kissed her again. "Fair enough. Now, let's go and see what culinary delights Jiah has whipped up. I'm starving."
Onara tilted her head as she scrutinized him. Obi-Wan looked down at himself.
"What's wrong?"
"Jiah is right. She said you'd lost about a stone. Maybe even two. And don't look at me as if you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, Obi-Wan Kenobi. She told me how you refused to eat while I was in the _yanol_. Well, there'll be no more of that," Onara scolded him. "Now that I look at you, you do, as Auna said, look as skinny as a Ho'Din. You will eat, and you will continue to eat until you're once again nice and plump."
"Plump?" Obi-Wan shook his head, then grinning, grabbed Onara and held her tight against him. "I'll have you know, my lady," he murmured, "I have never been plump. See, not a bit of fat on me."
"That's my point. You're much too skinny now and you need to put back on the weight you lost. Maybe even a bit more. Jiah says there's nothing wrong with a man having a little extra flesh on him." Onara then slanted a coy look at him from under her dark slender brows. "More to cuddle with, or so she said."
"I wouldn't know about that," Obi-Wan remarked, very much aware of the perfume of Onara's hair and the softness and warmth of her body in his arms. "Having not had much experience with cuddling."
Onara smiled up at him, her eyes dancing. "Really? No experience with cuddling? Whatever did they teach you at that Temple? Well, perhaps we'll have to do something about that."
They both laughed, their arms about each other as they walked back to the manor and into the huge dining room where everyone was eating and sharing reminiscences about Ben and Dalan.
To be continued....
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"I miss them," Onara said softly as she gazed sadly at the door of the mausoleum. "But, my heart is at rest now. Ben is with my father, and he'll watch over my darling. As will Dalan."
"Yes, they will." Obi-Wan kissed her forehead.
"Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, love?"
"What do the Jedi believe? About the afterlife?"
Obi-Wan considered her question as he took her arm and led her away from the mausoleum and over towards the gardens that abutted it.
"We believe that after death all life becomes one with the Force."
"One with the Force?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"And a person doesn't retain his or her spirit? That which made them unique?"
Obi-Wan tilted his head and frowned. He'd never been much of a student of the more esoteric aspects of the Force, though he knew that down through the long history of the Jedi Order much had been written and discussed about what happened after death, with the general consensus being that upon death a being became one with the Force and did not retain its individuality.
The Abyss, the name the Jedi had given to the barrier between corporeality and dissolution, was the final stage before a living being lost its individuality, and, as he now told Onara, once a spirit had passed through that barrier, it was then consumed by the Force.
Onara walked alongside him. He saw she was mulling over his words. They continued moving among the sweet-scented blossoms, the soft trilling of birds a gentle accompaniment, the mid-morning sun warming them and, as Onara continued to remain silent, Obi-Wan looked past the gardens and over to the snowy peaks and purple-dappled sides of the Larab mountains.
There was hardly any sign of the war that had brought him and Anakin to Ahjane nearly five years to negotiate a peace accord that had included Onara being given in marriage to Dalan's uncle who was, at that time, Dynast of Kindah province. That marriage had also involved Obi-Wan's participation in the Ahjane blessing ceremony, a ritual he had most vehemently not wanted to take part in. Now, as he walked beside the woman with whom he had participated in that ceremony with and now loved above all things, he couldn't imagine her not being in his life.
"Obi-Wan, I can't say I much like the Jedi's concept of the afterlife," Onara suddenly said, interrupting his thoughts.
He nodded. "I understand. I have observed that most cultures in the galaxy prefer to believe in some kind of life after death. Sentient beings are the only living things that are aware that someday they will cease to exist. It is comforting to imagine that death is not the end."
"It isn't the end, Obi-Wan," Onara said softly, her dark eyes gazing somberly up into his. "I know it isn't. I know what you did for me, bringing me back that time when I was ill, but I don't believe I would have been consumed by the Force if I had died."
Obi-Wan smiled and stroked her cheek. "I like the idea of the House of Eternal Light."
"But you don't believe in it?"
Obi-Wan sighed. He pressed Onara's arm against his side. "I can't say for certain what happens to us after we die, Onara. It is one of the eternal mysteries, even to the Jedi. I know only what I was taught. But, I have heard some Jedi Masters, my own former master included, posit the idea that it may be possible to preserve the body's spirit after death."
"Really?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "The idea is considered somewhat heretical to most traditionalists within the Order, but there have been writings about it in the ancient texts."
"Do they also believe it is possible for a spirit to return?"
"Return? You mean as in being reborn?"
"Yes. Do they believe we can come back after death?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "If they did, I've never heard it spoken of. Remember, the majority of Jedi don't believe we retain our identity after death, much less come back in another life."
"We have what you call heretics in our religion too, and some of them do believe this. That we can and do come back."
Obi-Wan nodded, but said nothing. He was afraid where this was leading. He decided to change the subject.
"Onara?"
"Yes?"
"I saw you talking with Simtro. He said something that upset you. What was it?"
Onara looked up at him. Then she sighed, shaking her head.
"Tell me," he urged gently. "Let me help if I can."
"It's about the memorial service."
"The one in the capital?"
Onara nodded.
"What about it?"
She released another exasperated breath. "Simtro doesn't think you should attend it, Obi-Wan."
"Why?"
She looked up at him. "It's not a reflection on you, dear one. It's just..." She stopped and bit her lip.
"What, Onara, what's happened?"
"There's been talk in the capital. Talk about you. And me."
Obi-Wan stopped walking and frowned. "What kind of talk?"
"About your living here at the manor. About what your intentions are."
"My intentions?"
"There's been speculation, especially among some members of the Assembly, that you want to marry me."
Obi-Wan was about to say that of course he wanted to marry her, but he detected something in her voice that cautioned him to hear her out first.
"And?"
"And there have been rumors, terrible, disgusting rumors, that you had something to do with Dalan's death."
"WHAT! That's insane, preposterous!"
"I know, darling, I know it is. Simtro believes it's Dalan's family who is spreading these lies, that they hope to create some kind of scandal in order to strengthen their case when they go to the tribunal to contest Dalan's will." Onara turned away from Obi-Wan as she paced angrily across the grass, her hands clenched into fists. "Oh, I should just give them the money, the province, everything! I don't want it. I don't care about it."
"No, Onara," Obi-Wan said, going over and taking her hands. "Dalan wanted you to have it. That's why he willed it to you. It's rightfully yours. And remember, part of the reason you married Dalan and that your provinces were joined was to prevent another war. You mustn't give in to these people. If they get their hands on Dalan's province, it will undo all the hard work you and he put in to ensure peace on Ahjane."
Onara stared up at him for a long moment. "You're right, Obi-Wan. Of course. I mustn't think only of myself."
"Is Simtro afraid that if I appear with you at the memorial service it will make things difficult for you in the tribunals?"
"Yes, he does."
"Then I won't go."
"No, Obi-Wan! You talk about my not giving in to them, but if you don't go with me, then it will be you giving in to their disgusting lies."
Obi-Wan cupped her face. "Listen to me, Onara. Simtro is right, No, he is," he said as she fiercely shook her head. "He's doing his job, and his job is to look after you and your affairs. You have to admit, my position here is somewhat untenable."
"What do you mean?"
"What am I, Onara? A Jedi who brought you home when you were in your _yanol_? I'm no longer a Jedi. The father of your child? Dalan, according to Ahjane law, was Ben's father. No, what I am, at least to those who would seek to do you wrong is the man who was accused on the HoloNet of being your lover and cuckolding your husband."
"But, Dyslogia Twang publicly withdrew that slander."
One of Obi-Wan's brows arched up. "Yes, he did, after you and Anakin went to see him."
Onara's eyes widened. "How did you know about that? Anakin promised not to say anything."
Obi-Wan smiled down at her. "I'm afraid Anakin's loyalty to me as his master outstripped any promises he may have made to you."
"You miss him, don't you?"
Obi-Wan's eyes dimmed. "Yes, very much so."
"Have you heard from him since you left?"
He shook his head. "I do hope he's all right. However, you're changing the subject, Onara. Do as Simtro has advised."
"I don't like it. I don't like giving in to slanders and innuendoes."
"Neither do I, but until the contestation of Dalan's will is resolved, I think it would be wise for you to avoid any hint of impropriety. Don't you?"
"Impropriety," Onara sneered. "That's ironic. The Lenor clan has its nerve accusing anyone of impropriety. Except for Dalan, all of them have been implicated in some sort of scandal or another."
"All the more reason, then, to keep your reputation as immaculate as possible."
"Obi-Wan, when I gave birth to a child who was conceived during a blessing ceremony, that was enough disgrace to last me a lifetime as far as most of Ahjane society was concerned."
"Marrying Dalan and his having given Ben his name mollified some of that disgrace, didn't it?"
"Yes, somewhat." Onara moved into Obi-Wan's arms, gazing up at him with her beautiful dark eyes. "Oh, my dear one, I wish we could run away, far away. Just the two of us. I wouldn't care if we didn't have a credit between us or if all the land we owned was just what was under our feet. As long as you were with me, I'd feel like the wealthiest woman in the galaxy."
Obi-Wan stroked her hair. "I wish that too, love. More than you know, but you can't run away from who you are. You have a responsibility, not only to the people who live within the provinces you now rule, but to Ahjane." He took her by the shoulders. "I know you, love. You're not the kind of woman to run away from responsibility."
Onara smiled up at him. "You do know me, don't you? And you're right. I'm the daughter of a Dynast, twice widowed to two Dynasts. I can't nor will I run away."
Obi-Wan returned her smile and kissed her forehead. "So, you'll go to the memorial service without me?"
"Yes, but it will be the only thing I will ever go to without you, Obi- Wan."
He kissed her again. "Fair enough. Now, let's go and see what culinary delights Jiah has whipped up. I'm starving."
Onara tilted her head as she scrutinized him. Obi-Wan looked down at himself.
"What's wrong?"
"Jiah is right. She said you'd lost about a stone. Maybe even two. And don't look at me as if you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, Obi-Wan Kenobi. She told me how you refused to eat while I was in the _yanol_. Well, there'll be no more of that," Onara scolded him. "Now that I look at you, you do, as Auna said, look as skinny as a Ho'Din. You will eat, and you will continue to eat until you're once again nice and plump."
"Plump?" Obi-Wan shook his head, then grinning, grabbed Onara and held her tight against him. "I'll have you know, my lady," he murmured, "I have never been plump. See, not a bit of fat on me."
"That's my point. You're much too skinny now and you need to put back on the weight you lost. Maybe even a bit more. Jiah says there's nothing wrong with a man having a little extra flesh on him." Onara then slanted a coy look at him from under her dark slender brows. "More to cuddle with, or so she said."
"I wouldn't know about that," Obi-Wan remarked, very much aware of the perfume of Onara's hair and the softness and warmth of her body in his arms. "Having not had much experience with cuddling."
Onara smiled up at him, her eyes dancing. "Really? No experience with cuddling? Whatever did they teach you at that Temple? Well, perhaps we'll have to do something about that."
They both laughed, their arms about each other as they walked back to the manor and into the huge dining room where everyone was eating and sharing reminiscences about Ben and Dalan.
To be continued....
