In Love and War - Part Ten

-------------

Anakin Skywalker tried not to wince as he contemplated his next move. He was trapped, that much was obvious. Any possible escape route he could take was blocked. He glanced over at Padmé from across the holoboard. She tilted her head, giving him a sly smile, knowing she was only one move away from winning the game.

Anakin looked back at the board. Whatever had possessed him to take her up on her offer to play holochess? He had never played it before, but, certain there wasn't anything he couldn't beat Padmé at once he had learned the rules, he agreed to play. Holochess was a game of tactics and strategy and if there was one thing Anakin excelled at, or so he thought, it was tactics and strategy.

"It's your move, Ani." Padmé said in an annoyingly sweet voice.

"I know, I know," he growled.

He glanced over to where one of Padmé's handmaidens, Dormé, was sitting on a couch in Padme's apartment. She was reading a book and also watching them play. She shook her head at Anakin, already, it seemed, recognizing his defeat. Well, he wasn't beaten yet, he thought heatedly.

He frowned, fiercely studying the layout of the holographic images on the checkered board. All he had left were two Pages, a Knight and his Emperor. Padme, however, still had five pages, two Knights, her Emperor, and most importantly, her dangerous and powerful Queen.

She had succeeded in surrounding Anakin's Emperor, her Queen just one move away from capturing him, with both her Knights in position to block any aggressive moves on his part. He released a frustrated breath. How had he gotten himself into such a fix?

He looked into Padmé's dark brown eyes. He was certain he had guessed her strategy from the moment they'd begun playing. Had figured out her strengths and her weaknesses. Was confident there was nothing she could possibly hide from him. But, she had proven him wrong, and he had lost.

Sighing heavily, Anakin pushed the controls on the holoboard that made his Emperor fall over. Dormé clapped her hands. Padmé looked over at her handmaiden and regally inclined her head. Then she turned back to Anakin.

"You played well, Ani. For a beginner."

"It's true, Anakin," Dormé said. "Milady usually beats first-timers in twelve moves. It took her thirty to beat you."

"Well, that certainly makes me feel better," Anakin grumbled.

"Don't feel bad," the handmaiden said soothingly. "I'm afraid milady wasn't quite honest with you."

Padmé shot her handmaiden a sharp look, but Dormé only smiled at her. "Milady was the Naboo holochess champion three years running," she told Anakin.

"The Naboo holochess champion, ummm?" Anakin leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Something you neglected to mention when you asked me to play."

Padmé smiled and, reaching over, turned off the holoboard. "Now, Ani, be honest. If I had told you, would you have still played me?"

"Sure I would have. I'm not afraid of a challenge."

Padmé eyed him for a moment. "That's true. You're not. Speaking of challenges, are how things between you and your new master."

Anakin rolled his eyes as he stood and walked away from the table. "Fine, I guess."

Padmé followed him, moving to stand next to him when he stopped at the wide windows and stared out at the Coruscant skyline. She put her hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Anakin looked down at her. He really hadn't had much of a chance to talk with her. Soon after Obi-Wan was expelled from the Order, Padmé had been called back to Naboo to confer with Queen Jamilia regarding the alarming events unfolding in the galaxy. The Separatist movement, spearheaded by the charismatic Count Dooku was growing, and more and more systems were breaking away from the Republic.

As a result, there was mass migrations of people within the galaxy. Once planets had declared their independence from the Republic, many of their citizens were moving back to their homeworlds, causing a strain on both galactic transportation and commerce as freighters that should have been hauling goods were now transporting people, the freighter companies having discovered that, as a result of people's fear and desperation, they could make more money gouging passengers than hauling freight.

Adding to the growing crisis were those people had been caught off-planet when their homeworlds seceded, but had no wish to join the Confederacy. Many of them were finding it difficult to find worlds within the Republic on which to settle. Most were now refugees, roaming from system to system, hoping to find a world that would take them in. But most worlds were either incapable of or unwilling to take on these increasingly hopeless and desperate people.

Just before Padmé had been elected Queen, the Refugee Relief Movement was formed on Naboo, serving as a galactic-wide political association that assisted those who were in need of food, clothing and supplies. Padmé had been conferring with Queen Jamila about forming a Refugee Resettlement Coalition and, along with other worlds, opening Naboo's ports to any being who sought political refuge.

Padmé was back on Coruscant, trying to marshal support for the Resettlement Coalition in the Senate, but only for a short time. She would be retuning to Naboo in a day or so to continue her work on the refugee situation there. Anakin had, miraculously, been able to sneak away from Master Nygee to spend a few precious hours with her.

He released a heavy breath. "There isn't much to talk about, Padmé. Master Nygee is my master now and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Is it that bad?"

Anakin looked down into Padme's brown eyes. He was always astonished at how she seemed to know exactly what he was thinking or feeling even when, sometimes, he wasn't so sure himself.

He shrugged. "It could be worse."

"Or better."

Anakin swallowed hard, the edges of his eyes stinging. "I miss Master Obi- Wan."

Padmé put her hand on his arm. "I know you do. Have you heard from him?"

"I got a letter from him last week. He and Onara are doing fine. But..."

"But what, Ani?"

"He told me in the letter he understood perfectly how my duties had prevented me from attending Ben's funeral. Padmé, I never got an invitation from Master Obi-Wan to attend the funeral! I found out later that the Council intercepted it and sent back a reply saying Sinja-Bau and I were too busy to attend."

Padme gasped. "They didn't?"

Anakin nodded, his eyes blazing. "And let me tell you, when Master Sinja- Bau found out, she was furious. Being only a lowly Padawan I couldn't barge into the Council meeting and give them a piece of my mind, but she did and I heard it wasn't pretty. Not at all."

"Oh, Ani, I'm so sorry. I know how much you would have wanted to attend."

Anakin nodded, his throat tight. He had wanted to go, not just to say goodbye to Ben, but to be there for his master. He still couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose someone you loved. He continued to love and miss his mother, despite the Order's wish that he sever his connection to her. And he loved Padmé, although he had not yet gotten up the courage to tell her so.

If anything were to happen to either of them, he didn't know what he would do. Obi-Wan had shown admirable restraint in not killing Lursan when he'd had the chance. Anakin would not have been so restrained. If the person who had killed Lursan had not gotten to him first---and the Council, despite intensive investigation into the matter, had not yet discovered the identity of the killer---Anakin would have surely killed Lursan. And Ben hadn't even been his son.

"You didn't answer my question, Ani? What about you and Master Nygee?"

Anakin's lips twisted. "He used to criticize Master Obi-Wan all the time. It made me so angry. But he's stopped now, but only because Master Yoda told him to. He's very strict, very by-the-book, loves to make me memorize all these ancient writings about avoiding attachments and such, and he worships the Jedi Code as if it were holy writ."

"Isn't it?" Padme asked.

"Well, not exactly. I mean, Master Obi-Wan said that when he was younger he used to believe one had to follow the Code strictly, that there were no exceptions. He used to chide Master Qui-Gon for not doing so all the time, but as he got older, he realized that sometimes real life didn't fit so neatly into a set of rules and tenets. That you had to, well, not violate the rules exactly, but bend them a little to fit the circumstances."

"Obi-Wan said that? Then he has changed," Padme observed.

Anakin nodded. "I think most of the change came after he met Onara. Actually, he was kind of like Master Nygee before he participated in the blessing ceremony. Strict, critical, by-the-book. I even thought that sometimes he was holding me back, that he was jealous of my abilities or something."

Anakin then shrugged, an awkward look on his face. "But, looking back at those times," he went on, "I see Master Obi-Wan was just trying to do the best job he could. He was newly knighted when he took me as his apprentice. The Council was watching his every move. He was afraid of making a mistake, so he overcompensated by being so demanding. But, after he met Onara he changed. He was more open with me and less worried about what the Council thought of him. He even started reading Jedi love poetry."

"Jedi love poetry? I didn't even know there was such a thing."

"He'd found some in the archives, written thousands of years ago by a Jedi Knight named Nomi Sunrider. She'd written them about two Jedi she had loved; her husband, Andur, and then, after he died, she fell in love with a Jedi named Ulic Qel-Droma." Anakin looked over at Padmé. "He fell to the dark side and it was Nomi herself who had to blind him to the Force after he killed his own brother."

"How sad."

"It was, but she'd written some beautiful poetry. I found the love poems on Master Obi-Wan's holopad while he was searching for Sinja-Bau. I would read them to Onara."

"Do you remember any of them?"

Anakin nodded, suddenly feeling both elated and frightened. Padmé was standing so close to him, and he was so painfully aware of the warmth of her body, the perfume of her hair, the sweet curve of her neck.

"I'd like to hear one," she went on.

Anakin glanced behind him. Dormé had left the room, so he and Padmé alone.

"One of my favorites was the one Nomi wrote about Ulec. But I'm not that great of a poetry reciter, so bear with me."

Padmé only smiled at him, encouraging him to go on.

"_Gentle are the eyes of my love_," Anakin began, quickly clearing his throat. Then he continued with the poem.

_Though darkened by woe And bleak with sorrow. When he looks at me Both blessed and cursed am I.

Tender are the hands of my love, Though roughened by strife And scarred by pain. When he touches me Both healed and wounded am I.

Warm are the lips of my love Though hard with grief And bitter with anguish. When he kisses me Both found and lost am I._

He stopped and looked down into Padmé's eyes.

"That was beautiful, Anakin, and you spoke it beautifully too," she said softly. Anakin's heart trembled at the sound of his name on her lips. They continued to gaze into each other's eyes, and, Anakin wasn't sure if he was moving towards her, or she was moving towards him, or they were both moving towards the other, but their faces were just inches apart when, suddenly, the comlink on his belt buzzed.

Padmé quickly drew back at the sound, a look on her face like that of someone who had almost stepped off a cliff and been pulled back just in time. Anakin, realizing an important, precious and possibly never-to-be-had- again moment had just passed by, angrily jerked his comlink off his belt and activated it.

"Yes? What is it?" he barked.

"Padawan Skywalker?"

Anakin groaned inwardly at the sound of Master Nygee's low, sonorous voice.

"Yes, Master?" he said, grimacing over at Padmé.

"Report to the Temple immediately. We are to appear before the Council. They have an assignment for us."

"Yes, Master. I'll be there right away."

Anakin deactivated the comlink and snapped it back on his belt. He looked over at Padmé, but he could see nothing in her eyes regarding their almost- kiss. Anakin silently cursed Nygee, the Jedi Order and all the powers that be.

"I have to go," he said lamely, not knowing what else to say.

"I know," Padmé replied, looking everywhere but at him.

"I don't know when I'll be back from the mission. And even when I get back, the Council will probably send me and Master Nygee on another one. Things seem to be falling apart in the Republic. The Jedi are hard-pressed to keep up with it."

Padmé nodded. "And the growing Separatist movement doesn't help."

"No it doesn't." Anakin frowned. He didn't want to talk about politics. He wanted to talk about what had almost happened between them, but he could see Padmé did not. He sighed and, walking over, picked his robe off the couch and put it on.

"I'll be gone by the time you return," Padmé said, walking with him over to the entrance to her apartment. "I'm returning to Naboo."

"But you'll come back in time for the vote on creating an army for the Republic, won't you?"

Padmé looked up at him, her dark eyes serious. "I have to. Bail fears there may not be enough votes to prevent the creation of an army for the Republic. Trust me, nothing will keep me from casting my vote against it."

Anakin nodded. He stood at the door, wanting to say something, anything, but not knowing what to say. I love you, I adore you, I worship you, I want to marry you. Those were the words he wanted to say, but couldn't.

"May the Force be with you, Anakin," Padmé said formally, startling him out of his reverie.

"And with you, Senator," Anakin replied, detecting from the tone of her voice it was probably best to keep their relationship on a professional level. At least for now.

Then she suddenly smiled at him. "And be careful, Ani." Her dark eyes sparkled. "I want you back safe and sound for our rematch."

At first Anakin had no idea what she was talking about. Then he remembered the holochess game. He grinned at her. "You're on, Senator."

He entered the lift that would take him to the ground floor. As he hurried onto the street he hoped, though Obi-Wan had not spoken of it in his letter, his and Onara's romance was going better than Anakin's currently was.

To be continued....