The Wingman
Chapter Nine: An Amicable End
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How can you just walk away from me?
When all I can do is watch you leave?
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain, even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing here left to remind me
Just the memory of your face
…And you coming back to me
Is against all odds, and that's what I have to face
~Phil Collins, "Against All Odds"
(Actually, the version I'm listening is off Mariah Carey's "Rainbow", but I know that the song is originally by Phil Collins…watch, someone's going to prove me wrong…)
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James went back into his house in a remarkable calm. He sat down in his chair and began to eat, still very calmly. Everyone else was silent, until Sirius spoke up.
"Where's Lily?"
James didn't look up. "Lily went home."
Marielle said accusingly, "Did you send her home?"
Now he glanced at her. "No," he said. "I can't force Lily to do anything. She went home by her own free will."
Marielle wouldn't let it go. "Did you ask her to go home, then?"
"Yes."
"Oh!" she exclaimed, and she looked as though she were ready to start a fight. "Just because of one little remark, you're…you're expelling her!"
"It wasn't just that one little remark," James snapped. "It's everything. It's everything she's said or done or even thought about, and it all just happened to culminate in that one little remark, and it sent me--and her--over the edge. So, I'm sorry Marielle, if you don't agree with the way I handled things with Lily, but she won't listen any other way, and I wanted her to listen to me for once. She rarely hears me, after all."
Marielle stared at him, and everyone else stared at her. James looked right back at her, challenging her to disagree with his reasoning.
She didn't. "Sirius, I'm leaving," she announced, standing up from the table, her chair screeching as it made forced contact with the wooden floor.
Sirius looked disappointed. "Mari, I don't think--"
Marielle's eyes flashed as she looked down at him. "I have to talk to her, undo the mess that you did."
She obviously wasn't talking to Sirius, as he hadn't done anything to Lily. Even though she wasn't looking at him, it was apparent that this statement was directed at James.
"You'll have to undo her mess before you can even come close to mine," James replied stoically. "But I say we call this a day, shall we?"
Everyone murmured in agreement and threw their napkins on their plates or leaned back in their chairs to signify that they were finished.
James stood and bid everyone goodbye, while Claire remained mute in her seat. Once everyone had left, he began to clear away the plates, and only then did she stand and assist him.
"I'm sorry this turned out the way it did," James told her. "Everyone seemed to like you, though."
Claire didn't smile. "James, why didn't you tell me that you kissed Lily?"
He shrugged. "Nothing ever came out of it, and we're over it."
"Over it." Her tone was flat. "What, may I ask, is it?"
James sighed as he turned to face her. "Claire, I don't want you to worry about what may have happened with me and Lily. The fact of the matter is, I really don't know where that relationship is going, because Lily's got a lot of problems that she's got to work out…but even if I do speak to her again, we're only friends."
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When Marielle knocked softly on Lily's bedroom door, she was sitting stonily on her bed, just crying. Not loudly sobbing, just allowing the tears to spill freely down her face.
Marielle didn't say anything when she walked in, just went to Lily and put her arms around her. "I'm sorry, Lily," she muttered.
Lily pulled back and choked out, "Is he really angry?"
Marielle took a few moments to decide how to phrase this. "I think he's more disappointed in you than anything. Lily, I don't think you realize just how much you mean to him, and the fact that you're acting like this completely breaks his heart."
"Well, what do you think he's doing to me?" Lily said. "James is…..James is one of the most important people in my life, and he was…he was reprimanding me. He was furious, and I felt like this wretched person for just letting that slip. He said that I'm being immature and petty and jealous, and do you know what I realized?"
Very softly, Marielle responded, "What?"
"I realized that he's right. James is always right about me…but how am I supposed to make this better?" She looked up at Marielle tearfully. "I--I think I love him, Marielle."
Her friend sucked in a breath. "Give me a couple seconds to fully comprehend this. You--you meant that you're in love with him, right?"
Lily sighed through her tears and it came out very shaky. "Was there ever any doubt in your mind?"
Marielle smiled. "No, there really wasn't. But Lily--and I hate to say this, because you have just made me very happy--I don't think that your telling him that will make up for anything. James is very mad at you."
"So I shouldn't tell him?"
"Oh, no. You should definitely tell him. Just…not right away. Give him some time to cool off, because, quite frankly, he's a little scary right now. But, yes, you should tell him."
Lily looked down at her pillows. "I've mucked it up brilliantly, haven't I?"
"Yes," Marielle replied truthfully. "Yes, you have."
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Three days later, Lily summoned up the courage to go talk to James.
It was very difficult to force herself to Apparate to his house, as she was quite afraid that he would slam the door in her face, all the while screaming at her to leave him alone.
Or, she thought as she walked up the path to the house, shaking a little, he could've proposed to Claire.
She shivered at that and knocked on his door, two light taps of her knuckles. Lily bit her lip as she waited tensely.
Not thirty seconds later, James came to the door, dressed in a dark sweater and his flannel pajama bottoms. Lily raised her eyes to his, and he just looked at her.
Finally, she found her voice. "I just came to apologize."
He didn't invite her in, but leaned against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, brown eyes looking expectantly at her over his glasses. She kind of wished he'd let her come inside, as it was a very damp gray day, and it looked as though it could rain at any moment. It was cold, but she supposed that that was fitting. "So apologize," James said stiffly.
Lily took a very deep breath. "I've spent the past three days, just thinking--about you. I've been thinking about what I've done to you, what I've said that could possibly bruise your ego or hurt your feelings, and I feel like I've been a horrible person, because I've said so many things like that. And then I thought about how you've always treated me, and I feel even worse, because I know that I don't deserve you. So I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that you've been this terrific friend to me, and that I've been acting like an arse. I'm so, so sorry. But then I realized something else." She lifted her gaze from the ground where she'd been forcing herself to look. Lily smiled a little, though she was already beginning to cry again. "I realized that you are the kind of man I always pictured myself marrying."
James straightened. "Lily…I'm with Claire."
"I know. I wasn't finished." She drew in another shaky breath and looked back down at the pavement. "James, I'm not expecting you to leave Claire on the off chance that we might work out. In fact, I don't want you to. You deserve to be happy, and it's slowly appearing to me that I can't do that for you. So…" Lily met his eyes again. They were completely unreadable. "I can't see you anymore."
His eyes widened slightly in alarm.
"No more Sundays, no more dinners three times a week, no more notes because we're bored at work…I don't know if I'd be able to control myself…."
"Then why are you here?" James interrupted.
"I just wanted this to end amicably," Lily told him quietly. "I'll always value your friendship, James…you forced me to grow up, and I can never thank you enough for that."
James nodded dazedly. He couldn't believe that he'd never see Lily again…he had to respect her wishes.
"Well," she said. "I guess this is good bye."
He blinked. "Yes, I--I guess it is."
She smiled at him. "Thank you, James." She turned to leave, and he wanted to put out a hand to stop her, but found himself to be immobile.
She said the incantation to Apparate, and just like that…
Lily was gone.
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A/N: Of course, this is not the end. It is something that is quite vital, however, to the ending, which may or may not be the next chapter.
Thanks still for the reviews; I adore them!!!
Catie
