This was a rather strange plot bunny that wondered into my mind. Its probably really AU, and Zordon fans, I would advise not reading it. Tommy fans, this isn't your normal Tommy, so be open minded when you read this. Sorry if I messed up a few facts, it's been a long time since I've seen PR.
Hope you enjoy it. :)
Don't own Tommy, nor anything mentioned here.
A Look Inside
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's been a while, hasn't it? Wondered when you would come back, wondered when you would talk to me again.
We've changed, haven't we? For the better, for the worse? Can't really tell, don't really want to. It's been too long.
Don't look so up tight. This is just your bro, the one you handed everything over to, the one who saved your ass so many times, whose soul you saved, and the one that nearly killed you. Remember?
It's a blur, you know, a real blur. I'm just like you now, and yet not. You've gone on living, and I'm stuck. Sure, I've got a job, a great one, but there is something missing.
You winced, hate what I just said? Well, the truth hurts, as they say.
Sit down; you're making me nervous. How did we get like this? How did we turn our backs on each other? We're best friends, were best friends. Bros, Power Rangers.
That's it, I can see it. You want it as much as I, well, tough luck, we've given it up. We've shared the same color, never the same power, but the color was the same.
We wore the blood we shed, didn't we? That red symbolized something beyond us. If the others failed, we were the ones to finish it, no matter what happened. Zordon made sure we knew that. No matter if our blood was spilt, or another's, we just had to finish the mission, that was the most important thing.
I always thought the red was to hide the blood. We're the only ones to really bleed, are we not? But we're not human enough to show it. We were the Leaders, we couldn't show weakness. Zordon made that clear as well.
Now you agree, now we're getting there. And the other colors? I've had three, yet more powers then imagined. It hurts sometimes, to still feel the backlash of all those powers swirling in my blood, reminding me of everything, and wounding me further with each day.
Oh, let's go with the rest. Green. Now that was a color I wish I could have kept. It was really the only one I felt comfortable in. Green wasn't just evil, no, it also meant living. It meant I was different from even you, though we shared the same powers. It meant I was free, only choosing to follow you and Zordon. Then Zordon decided to chain me down, right after Rita tore me apart.
I lost my freedom when I lost my powers. Its dying was like I was dying. I hated it, I hated everything. Zordon knew it, knew my weakness, and decided to use it to tie me down.
He was losing you; he knew it, though you didn't. You were becoming like me, wild, ready, unwilling to follow him. But I was falling, and he needed a leader who would obey. Thus came white, and green died.
White, oh, I was not pleased. It showed me as I wasn't, and yet how I was. It showed me as reborn, back in the fight, just as I was. Without a spot of evil, now that was a lie. I still had darkness in me, but I wasn't allowed to show it. No, had to be perfect, couldn't fail. It was my chain, the thing that bound me to the will of Zordon. The others didn't see it, but you had begun to.
I know it hurt when he ripped the leadership away, I could see it in your eyes as he proclaimed me the leader of our group. I could see how much you wished to protest, and I wish you had, I wish you had at least tried to free me. I didn't resent you though, no, that came later. But it must have truly hurt to have your leadership ripped away by the person who you served with your life's blood, to be given to who you considered a brother. Betrayal hurts, what more can I say.
You left afterwards, giving me full range, full control. I wasn't ready, and it over powered me. Rangering became everything to me, everything. I couldn't breath without feeling the power in me, no matter what power it was. Morphin', Zeo, Turbo, they were all same, yet oh so different. A gentle lover, and a very cruel Master, I was enslaved to the worst, yet greatest thing imaginable to me. That was what the power was to me, and it hurts even now.
I hated you after a while. For leaving me there, for seemingly to abandon me. Don't give me that look. That was how I felt. Sure, you called and wrote constantly, but I didn't have you to shelter me from Zordon's control, from evil's embrace, from the power.
Only Kim saved me, holding on to a little piece of my dying heart. Until she left, then I fully fell. My memories are so blurred during that time. School, kill the monster, check on Kim, sleep. That was my life, and I didn't realize how much I hated it, until the letter. That snapped my will, and created something stronger within me. I resisted Zordon, I resisted the powers, I played along, but I resisted the whole way. Zordon was troubled, and was looking to replace me, just as he replaced you, but he couldn't. No one could take my job, not yet. I was too powerful to control, too wild to tame, but he still had a hold on me. No matter how much I resisted my own powers, they had a hold on my soul, and Zordon had a hold on those powers.
A year passed, my resistance waned again, until David. Sure, there was Kat, but understand, she was no Kim. I loved her too, but things were different. She was like me, evil's tool, and the good's. A weapon. But she couldn't see it, she couldn't understand. I dated her for a while, but things fell apart, and we only kept the façade going as long as we could. My brother however rekindled that fire to fight. After we overcame our problems, I told him everything. All my hopes, my fears, my weaknesses, and he told me not to give up, to fight. I did.
Then you came back, and I ensnared you back into this horrid game. You came willingly. You trusted me, and you hungered to be a Ranger again. Gold instead of red, but the same person underneath. Zordon gave you command, but you weren't his anymore, and you made sure he knew it. I looked up to you again, and I was alive without Zordon's watchful gaze constantly upon me.
Then you fell, and nearly died. Did I ever tell you how scared I was? My hero had fallen; my best friend was going to die, because of me. And yet, I also felt despair. Zordon had his gaze upon me again, and my freedom was crushed.
You never recovered. Even now, you're still thinner then you should be. There are bags under your eyes, too many sleepless nights. But you're free, and maybe I will be too.
Finally, finally I saw my chance to fly free. But in doing so, I ensnared another. But Zordon isn't there anymore, another is. Maybe things will work out, maybe not. I don't care; TJ can take care of himself.
I can see in your eyes, you can't believe I felt like this. Sorry to disillusion you, bro. Technicolor Tommy isn't all he seems. But that's all right. I'm free to live again. To burst from the powers that held me spell bound. I'm not there yet. But give me time; give me time to rebuild a soul long crushed. I'll live again, better then ever. No longer the boy who evil used, nor the boy/man mix Zordon used as a weapon. No, I am a free man, no longer believing in black and white alone. The spectrum is far more varied.
Now, you understand where I've been, what do you say? Can't speak, can you? You never really knew. Never knew all that I have suffered. I don't blame you, not anymore. I won't ask for your forgiveness for hating you, but I wish for you to understand.
You do, I can see it. Thank you, Jas; it's been a while since I've told another. Maybe we can mend our ways? We can't return to what we were, we've driven each other too far away to do that. We are not who we used to be, and we have far too many bloodstains and scars on our souls. But now that we're free, or nearly so, maybe we can start again.
Perhaps. Perhaps we can start our lives again. This time without powers, without the color of blood, death and rage, without suppression. Lets try again.
I'm Tommy Oliver, a free man at last.
Hope you enjoy it. :)
Don't own Tommy, nor anything mentioned here.
A Look Inside
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's been a while, hasn't it? Wondered when you would come back, wondered when you would talk to me again.
We've changed, haven't we? For the better, for the worse? Can't really tell, don't really want to. It's been too long.
Don't look so up tight. This is just your bro, the one you handed everything over to, the one who saved your ass so many times, whose soul you saved, and the one that nearly killed you. Remember?
It's a blur, you know, a real blur. I'm just like you now, and yet not. You've gone on living, and I'm stuck. Sure, I've got a job, a great one, but there is something missing.
You winced, hate what I just said? Well, the truth hurts, as they say.
Sit down; you're making me nervous. How did we get like this? How did we turn our backs on each other? We're best friends, were best friends. Bros, Power Rangers.
That's it, I can see it. You want it as much as I, well, tough luck, we've given it up. We've shared the same color, never the same power, but the color was the same.
We wore the blood we shed, didn't we? That red symbolized something beyond us. If the others failed, we were the ones to finish it, no matter what happened. Zordon made sure we knew that. No matter if our blood was spilt, or another's, we just had to finish the mission, that was the most important thing.
I always thought the red was to hide the blood. We're the only ones to really bleed, are we not? But we're not human enough to show it. We were the Leaders, we couldn't show weakness. Zordon made that clear as well.
Now you agree, now we're getting there. And the other colors? I've had three, yet more powers then imagined. It hurts sometimes, to still feel the backlash of all those powers swirling in my blood, reminding me of everything, and wounding me further with each day.
Oh, let's go with the rest. Green. Now that was a color I wish I could have kept. It was really the only one I felt comfortable in. Green wasn't just evil, no, it also meant living. It meant I was different from even you, though we shared the same powers. It meant I was free, only choosing to follow you and Zordon. Then Zordon decided to chain me down, right after Rita tore me apart.
I lost my freedom when I lost my powers. Its dying was like I was dying. I hated it, I hated everything. Zordon knew it, knew my weakness, and decided to use it to tie me down.
He was losing you; he knew it, though you didn't. You were becoming like me, wild, ready, unwilling to follow him. But I was falling, and he needed a leader who would obey. Thus came white, and green died.
White, oh, I was not pleased. It showed me as I wasn't, and yet how I was. It showed me as reborn, back in the fight, just as I was. Without a spot of evil, now that was a lie. I still had darkness in me, but I wasn't allowed to show it. No, had to be perfect, couldn't fail. It was my chain, the thing that bound me to the will of Zordon. The others didn't see it, but you had begun to.
I know it hurt when he ripped the leadership away, I could see it in your eyes as he proclaimed me the leader of our group. I could see how much you wished to protest, and I wish you had, I wish you had at least tried to free me. I didn't resent you though, no, that came later. But it must have truly hurt to have your leadership ripped away by the person who you served with your life's blood, to be given to who you considered a brother. Betrayal hurts, what more can I say.
You left afterwards, giving me full range, full control. I wasn't ready, and it over powered me. Rangering became everything to me, everything. I couldn't breath without feeling the power in me, no matter what power it was. Morphin', Zeo, Turbo, they were all same, yet oh so different. A gentle lover, and a very cruel Master, I was enslaved to the worst, yet greatest thing imaginable to me. That was what the power was to me, and it hurts even now.
I hated you after a while. For leaving me there, for seemingly to abandon me. Don't give me that look. That was how I felt. Sure, you called and wrote constantly, but I didn't have you to shelter me from Zordon's control, from evil's embrace, from the power.
Only Kim saved me, holding on to a little piece of my dying heart. Until she left, then I fully fell. My memories are so blurred during that time. School, kill the monster, check on Kim, sleep. That was my life, and I didn't realize how much I hated it, until the letter. That snapped my will, and created something stronger within me. I resisted Zordon, I resisted the powers, I played along, but I resisted the whole way. Zordon was troubled, and was looking to replace me, just as he replaced you, but he couldn't. No one could take my job, not yet. I was too powerful to control, too wild to tame, but he still had a hold on me. No matter how much I resisted my own powers, they had a hold on my soul, and Zordon had a hold on those powers.
A year passed, my resistance waned again, until David. Sure, there was Kat, but understand, she was no Kim. I loved her too, but things were different. She was like me, evil's tool, and the good's. A weapon. But she couldn't see it, she couldn't understand. I dated her for a while, but things fell apart, and we only kept the façade going as long as we could. My brother however rekindled that fire to fight. After we overcame our problems, I told him everything. All my hopes, my fears, my weaknesses, and he told me not to give up, to fight. I did.
Then you came back, and I ensnared you back into this horrid game. You came willingly. You trusted me, and you hungered to be a Ranger again. Gold instead of red, but the same person underneath. Zordon gave you command, but you weren't his anymore, and you made sure he knew it. I looked up to you again, and I was alive without Zordon's watchful gaze constantly upon me.
Then you fell, and nearly died. Did I ever tell you how scared I was? My hero had fallen; my best friend was going to die, because of me. And yet, I also felt despair. Zordon had his gaze upon me again, and my freedom was crushed.
You never recovered. Even now, you're still thinner then you should be. There are bags under your eyes, too many sleepless nights. But you're free, and maybe I will be too.
Finally, finally I saw my chance to fly free. But in doing so, I ensnared another. But Zordon isn't there anymore, another is. Maybe things will work out, maybe not. I don't care; TJ can take care of himself.
I can see in your eyes, you can't believe I felt like this. Sorry to disillusion you, bro. Technicolor Tommy isn't all he seems. But that's all right. I'm free to live again. To burst from the powers that held me spell bound. I'm not there yet. But give me time; give me time to rebuild a soul long crushed. I'll live again, better then ever. No longer the boy who evil used, nor the boy/man mix Zordon used as a weapon. No, I am a free man, no longer believing in black and white alone. The spectrum is far more varied.
Now, you understand where I've been, what do you say? Can't speak, can you? You never really knew. Never knew all that I have suffered. I don't blame you, not anymore. I won't ask for your forgiveness for hating you, but I wish for you to understand.
You do, I can see it. Thank you, Jas; it's been a while since I've told another. Maybe we can mend our ways? We can't return to what we were, we've driven each other too far away to do that. We are not who we used to be, and we have far too many bloodstains and scars on our souls. But now that we're free, or nearly so, maybe we can start again.
Perhaps. Perhaps we can start our lives again. This time without powers, without the color of blood, death and rage, without suppression. Lets try again.
I'm Tommy Oliver, a free man at last.
