A/N: YEAH!!! REVIEWS!!! I CAN CONTINUE!!!

Disclaimer: See first two chapters.

The Bear (continued...)

Backstage

ERIK looks down at his clothes, and then back to PS.

ERIK: Do I HAVE to wear this stuff?

PS: *adjusting his jacket (and getting to be close to him)* Yes, you do. *can't say more, already bordering on fainting from closeness to phantom*

ERIK: *plaintively* Couldn't I just wear my evening clothes?

PS: *stepping back and grinning* No.

ERIK: Why not?

PS: 'Cause it doesn't go with the story.

ERIK: *grumbles* Fine.

PS: Onstage!

* * * * *

Scene: Still CARLOTTA'S drawing room

Enter BUQUET with ERIK, who is wearing dusty riding breeches, straw covered waistcoat, casual white shirt opened at neck *faints*, and, of course, his mask.

ERIK: *to BUQUET* You fool, you're too fond of talking... Ass!

*A/N: Umm...*

ERIK: *sees CARLOTTA and speaks with respect* Senora, I have the honor to present myself. I am Erik Mulheim, landowner and retired lieutenant of artillery. *pauses* Really?

PS: Don't you start!

ERIK: *glares offstage, and then continues to CARLOTTA* I am compelled to disturb you on a very pressing affair.

CARLOTTA: *not offering her hand* What do you want?

ERIK: *bristling at her rudeness* Your late husband, with whom I had the honor of being acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred francs on two bills of exchange. As I've got to pay the interest on a mortgage tomorrow, I've come to ask you, Senora, to pay me the money today.

CARLOTTA: *surprised* One thousand two hundred... And what was my husband een debt to you for?

ERIK: He used to buy notes from me.

PS: *storming out onto the stage* Not NOTES! OATS! He used to buy OATS!!!

ERIK: Didn't he get a note from me?

CARLOTTA: No, that was me. *pouts, still upset about that note*

ERIK: *shrugs* Okay, he used to buy his oats from me.

PS: *leaving the stage* Good. Now don't do that again, or else! *holds pen and notebook up menacingly and leaves*

CARLOTTA: *sighing to BUQUET* Don't you forget, Joseph, to give Caesar an extra feed of oats. *BUQUET exits* Eef Ubaldo Piangi died een debt to you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me today, as I haven't any spare cash. The day after tomorrow my steward will be back from town, and I'll give heem instructions to settle your account. But at the moment I cannot do as you wish... *continues dramatically* Moreover, eet's exactly seven months today since the death of my husband, and I'm een a state of mind which absolutely prevents me from giving money matters my attention.

ERIK: And I'M in a state of mind which, if I don't pay the interest due tomorrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from this life feet first. They'll take my estate!

CARLOTTA: You'll have your money the day after tomorrow.

ERIK: I don't want the money the day after tomorrow. I want it today!

CARLOTTA: You must excuse me, I can't pay you.

ERIK: And I can't wait till after tomorrow.

CARLOTTA: *getting annoyed* Well, what can I do, eef I haven't the money now?

ERIK: You mean to say you can't pay me?

(A/N: He catches on quick)

CARLOTTA: I can't.

ERIK: Hm! Is that your final answer?

CARLOTTA: Yes, my final answer.

ERIK: Your final answer? Absolutely your last?

CARLOTTA: Absolutely.

ERIK: *sarcastically* Thank you so much. I'll make a note of it. *shrugs* And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on the road, and he asks me "Why are you always so angry, Erik Mulheim?" But how on earth am I not to get angry? I need the money desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and called on all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I was just about dead-beat after it all, slept goodness knows where in some inn kept by a Jew with a vodka barrel by my head. At last I get here, seventy miles from home, hoping to get something, and I am received by you with a "state of mind"! How shouldn't I get angry?

CARLOTTA: I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he returns from town.

ERIK: I didn't come to your steward. I came to you! What the devil, excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward?!

CARLOTTA: Excuse me, sir; I am not accustomed to listen to such expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more.

CARLOTTA exits.

ERIK: Well, there! *mimicking CARLOTTA* "A state of mind"... "Husband died seven months ago!" *to absent CARLOTTA* Must I pay my interest or mustn't I? I ask you: Must I pay, or must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you've got a state of mind, and nonsense of that sort... And your steward's gone away somewhere, devil take him. What do you want me to do? Do you think I can fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? Or do you expect me to go and run my head onto a brick wall? I go to Nadir and he isn't at home, Firmin has hidden himself, ,I had a violent row with Andre and nearly threw him out of the window, Giry has something the matter with her bowels...

(A/N: TMI. Too Much Info)

ERIK: ... and this woman has a "state of mind". Not one of the swine wants to pay me! Just because I'm too gentle with them! Well, just you wait! You'll find out what I'm like! I shan't let you play about with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until he pays! Brr!......... How angry I am today, how angry I am! All my inside is quivering with anger, and I can't even breathe... Foo, my word, I even feel sick! *yells* Waiter!

BUQUET enters

BUQUET: This isn't a restaurant. There aren't any waiters! You must have messed up again.

PS enters.

PS: *flips through the script* Nope, he didn't. But YOU did! *hits BUQUET with script* CONTINUE!! *leaves*

BUQUET: *rubs his head* Okay. Um... *turns to ERIK* What is it?

ERIK: Get me some vodka or water! *exit BUQUET* What a way to reason! A man in desperate need of his money, and she won't pay it because, you see, she is not disposed to attend to money matters! ... That's real silly feminine logic. That's why I never did like, and don't like now, to have to talk to women. I'd rather sit on a barrel of gunpowder than talk to a woman. Brr!......... I feel quite chilly---and it's all on account of that little bit of fluff! I can't even see on of these poetic creatures from a distance without breaking into a cold sweat out of sheer anger. I can't look at hem.

Enter BUQUET with water

BUQUET: Senora is ill and will see nobody.

ERIK: Get out! *exit BUQUET* Ill and will see nobody! No, it's all right, you don't see me... I'm going to stay and will sit here till you give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, and I'll stay a week... If you're ill for a year--- I'll stay for a year. I'm going to get my own, my dear! You don't get at me with your widow's weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those dimples! *shouts out the window* Simeon, take them out! We aren't going away at once! I'm staying here! Tell them in the stable to give the horses some oats! You fool, you've let the horse's leg get tied up in the reins again! *mimicking* "Never mind..." I'll give it you. "Never mind". *goes away from window* Oh, it's bad... The heat's frightful, nobody pays up. I slept badly, and on top of everything else here's a bit of fluff in mourning with a "state of mind"... My head's aching... Shall I have some vodka? Yes, I think I will. *yells* Waiter!

BUQUET enters.

BUQUET: *grumbling something about restaurants* What is it?

ERIK: A glass of vodka! *exit BUQUET* Oaf! *sits and inspects himself* I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, unwashed, unkempt, straw on my waistcoat... The dear lady may well have taken me for a brigand. *yawns* It's rather impolite to come into a drawing room in this state, but it can't be helped... I am not here as a visitor, but as a creditor, and there's no dress specially prescribed for creditors...

Enter BUQUET with vodka.

BUQUET: You allow yourself to go very far, sir...

ERIK: *angrily* What?

BUQUET: I... er... nothing... I really...

ERIK: Who are you talking to? Shut up!

BUQUET: *aside* The devil's come to stay... Bad luck brought him... *exit*

ERIK: *the fragile thread of his temper fraying* Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind the whole world to dust... I even feel sick... *yells* Waiter!

=======================

A/N: Ah, Buquet is ever superstitious. And Erik is about to lose his temper. I wonder who will make him snap?.........