One night, my best friend Crissy (ObSeSsIvE_cOmPuLsIvE_666) and I put our heads together for an elaborated plot to my sequel.  Well, here it is!  As it happens, we've figured out our main jobs in this:  Crissy is the Plot Think-Upper, and I am the Plot Elaborator/Write-Downer.  Nice titles, huh?  Crissy thought of them…  The plot is extremely different from what I've ever seen, except for the fact that it's the classic:  "I wish I had never been born, have pity on me!"  But it only starts out like that, so give us your opinions once you've figured it out.  Only one warning…this fic will possibly have very little comic relief and even less romance.  If any, it will still be rather cynical.  Thankies!

Hello again, Ron Luver.  Jeez, first you, now H/H lover.  GAAAWD.  No one agrees with my ships around here, do they?  *sigh*  Personally, my love for the H/C ship is dwindling…as you will see in this fic…There isn't any actual R/A snogging in this one, except for the mild innuendoes… err, yeah.  I'm sorry…*meep*  One more thing, since you are my favourite reviewer by far (yes, I AM sucking up, for those of you who were wondering *grin*), I'd like to talk to you.  E-mail address, by any chance?  AOL Instant Messenger, preferably.  Thankies!

Shinigami-chan:  Hello, to you too!  I feel so loved…*happy tear*  No, honestly, all kidding aside, I got the HUGEST chills when I read that review!!!  Thank you SO MUCH!!!  You know what, hell with that 100 reviews thing. (Sorry, Tiff.)  Silent Torment is hereby dedicated to Shinigami-chan who made me feel so special and important!  That review meant, like, about 500,000 to me!!!  THANK YOU!!!  Erm, right, I'm going a bit overboard now, but I mean it when I say I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!  oO;  Oh, yeah, and about that question, let's just say that Draco ran his little ass off back to the castle after he woke up when he realised that his father was gone, and in all the worries and woes of our favourite Gryffindors, he was forgotten.  In truth, I kinda forgot about him myself, so here's my excuse. *glurp* 

Right, well, here's the long-awaited Silent Torment!  Toodles!  *takes an extremely flourished, highly over-done bow as the curtain closes over*

Silent Torment

Part I:

Fallen Angels, Wishes Well Thought

My Dearest Harry,

I'm not very good at writing love letters, so I beg that you'll forgive my bluntness.  I'm sure you are aware that I am graduating after this year.  I regret to say this, but I think that until you graduate yourself, we should see different people.  I am not proposing that we break up, quite the contrary in fact, but the truth remains that our ages are a year in difference.  Please forgive me for suggesting this.  I merely want what is best for both of us.  You will always have a special place in my heart.

Yours forever and a day,

Cho Chang

Harry crumpled up the letter after rereading it for the sixth time since breakfast and sighed, staring out the common room window.  The dusky purple of the April sky was scattered with diamonds, and the crescent moon shone like a silver dagger, penetrating the gathering storm clouds with its icy light.  He wondered briefly what it would be like on the moon staring down at the Earth.  Probably like it was now: wrapped in cold, enveloped in darkness, the only light on the horizon a tiny glimmer in a vast universe of torment.  He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes wearily.  He should have known, from that very first kiss on Christmas night, that this would be too good to last….

Harry gazed around absently at the rest of the Gryffindors.  Everyone had been rather subdued all year, not only because Fred and George had left, but because of the recent death of Ginny Weasley.  Hermione was keeping to herself, her head bent over a book.  She raised her head up suddenly, saw Harry looking at her, and quickly dropped her gaze again.  Ron lay on a couch near the fire, dozing with his arm around his fifth year girlfriend, Alex Prelling, who was snuggled next to him, sleeping peacefully in the safety of his embrace, her hair cascading down in dark tumbles over her face. 

Harry averted his eyes from this sight to stare instead at the letter from his over two-year girlfriend that was still clenched in his fist.

I can't believe that we let it get this far…how could our age difference matter this much to her?

Harry had no one to unburden his heart to; Hermione seemed to think she wasn't wanted, Draco appeared to think that since their telepathy bond had been broken that they were no longer friends, and Ron was too preoccupied with his girlfriend, not to mention the fact that he hadn't completely gotten over the fact that his sister was dead, so he had his own problems to deal with.  Alex and her best friends Michelle Wilson and Crissy Rizzotto were moving back to the United States at the end of the year, which would be quite a loss since Alex and Michelle were both valuable Quidditch players; from what Harry had experienced playing Slytherin, he thought ruefully, so was Crissy.  Needless to say, Ron was making the most of Alex's last few months at Hogwarts.  After that, he would be single again, much to the delight of several girls from various Houses [This means you, Ron Luver].  He wasn't the only one with an American girlfriend, however; Draco was very content Crissy.  They had been seen—or rather heard—by several unsuspecting passers-by whom walked past a supposedly empty classroom in between classes.

As for Sirius, he had plenty to deal with at the moment.  Ever since his name had been cleared, he had been working around the clock to regain a stable reputation in the wizarding world—and the adoption papers for Harry.  At least one good thing had come from all this: As of late July, Harry would have a real family once again.

But this wonderful prospect couldn't banish the darkness that had taken up residence in his soul since the past year.  Everywhere he walked, death and chaos seemed to follow.  How was it that he was always the cause of trouble?  He had ruined so many lives, and he was only sixteen…

Absent-mindedly, he grasped the delicate silver chain around his neck and rolled the small silvery orb between his fingers.  It was cool to the touch, and seemed to have some sort of calming affect over him.  The magic that flowed from it in waves soothed his troubled spirit and strengthened him, but it just wasn't enough…it only reminded him of his parents…

The noise of the common room was getting to him, stifling him.  He needed to be alone…but more than that, he needed answers.  Making up his mind, he stood up, hurling the parchment from his fist into the fire.  He watched the flames devour the paper, curl its edges into ashes, consume it completely…

He strode sharply and purposefully to the portrait hole.  Just as he was pushing it open, he felt a small, warm hand on his shoulder.

It was Hermione.  She had finally put her book down and had reached up from the chair she was sitting on.  Her eyes were shining brightly, and she was biting her lip.  When she spoke, her voice came out a tremor.

"Harry…where are you going?" she asked quietly.

Harry couldn't bring himself to take his eyes away from hers…they were such beautiful eyes, strange that he hadn't noticed before…

Steeling himself, he answered her in a brusque voice.

"For a walk," he replied shortly.  Stepping away from her outstretched arm before she could say another word, he walked out of the Gryffindor common room to the school beyond.  He didn't notice the look on Hermione's face when he did.

*********

She watched him go with a mixture of pity and sadness in her heart.  She loved him, loved him so much it pained her to look at him.  It tore her apart inside to see him so depressed, so alone… She wanted to talk to him, but something was holding her back…her inner self, maybe, but somehow…no, that wasn't the case.  It was just too much to bear sometimes, she couldn't think straight or decide anything rationally.  And just watching Ron and Alex together made her want to…well, we won't get into that.

Finally, she gave up the difficult task of sorting through her complex emotions and settled for watching the flickering flames, where Cho's letter had been reduced to ashes.

**********

Harry walked around the school without comprehending where he was going.  He aimlessly ambled this way and that, down this corridor and the next without any real destination.  For some reason, he had the strongest desire to lose himself and never find it again.

Passing by a dark and empty classroom, he had the unfortunate luck of stumbling upon one of Draco and Crissy's private make-out classes.  And when we say private, we mean private.

Harry froze on the spot and listened.  Sure enough, thumps, girlish squeals, and gasps were audible through the partly-closed door.  Then suddenly, they stopped.

"Potter, if you're going to stand there and take notes, please, next time, do it in a more unobtrusive way.  It's distracting."

Harry rolled his eyes and pushed the door open the rest of the way.  Very Big Mistake.

He almost passed out.

Draco was sitting upright on the desk, but shirtless.  However, this was nothing to the state Crissy was in.

She was also topless, and leaning against Draco's chest with a very content gleam in her eyes.  Her jeans were half off as well.

Cautiously, Harry made his way across the room, narrowly avoiding slipping on Draco's and Crissy's discarded shirts.

"Malfoy, that is just sick," he said in repugnance, kicking the clothing aside.  "Doesn't the word 'abstinence' mean anything to you?"

Draco batted a long silver eyelash at him.  "Never even heard the word," he said cheerfully.  Harry rolled his eyes again.  "Hey, don't blame me for the fact that I get action and you don't," Malfoy said disdainfully.  Crissy giggled.  Harry chose to ignore these remarks.

"Don't you have a dormitory that you can shag in?" Harry asked in annoyance, adding emphasis to the word that Malfoy seemed to miss.

"Yes, I do," Malfoy returned patiently, "but it happens to be overrun by other party animals."

Harry wrinkled his nose in displeasure.  The silence was then only broken by Crissy saying in a soft, manipulative voice, "Do let's not waste anymore time, Draco…we haven't got much longer before we need to return to the common room…"

"Alright, love, just give me another second to get rid of Potter," he returned just as softly, brushing his lips against her forehead.  She shivered delightedly, a purr echoing from deep within her throat.

"Oh, don't mind me," Harry said unwisely, his voice heavy with sarcasm.  "Just carry on with what you were doing.  It was quite appealing."

"Really?  It was?" Draco replied earnestly, though in a somewhat distracted air, for his mouth had now travelled down to lace around Crissy's neck.  She lifted her arms slowly and strung them around his, pulling him closer to her.

"Thank you for that interesting display of emotions," Harry griped.

"You're welcome," Draco opined in a singsong sort of voice, glancing at Harry out of the corner of his eyes, which were narrowed into a sardonic grin.  "I see you're still here, by the way," he commented non-too-angelically.  "Still taking notes, are you?"

"Oh, yes," Harry returned dryly.  "I think it'll be a book titled Trousers, or Lack There Of, by Draco Malfoy."

"Your wit is about as small and shrivelled as certain other parts of you appear to be, Potter," Crissy simpered wickedly between bites before Draco could retort, causing Harry to blush approximately the colour of a tomato.

Fuming, Harry turned on his heel and stalked through the door, slamming it shut behind him.  As he walked away, the sounds of satisfied laughter followed him faintly through the halls.  Still seething as he stomped through the corridors, he thought, Exactly what was the point of that conversation?  Ah yes, he reflected, To annoy me further about my virginity.  Well, he succeeded.

Through the bleary haze of anger and frustration, he thrust open the enormous oak front doors and trudged across the grounds outside.

He walked over to the edge of the lake.  Glancing upward, he saw the boiling black storm clouds rolling over the horizon to block out the icy light of the stars and moon, bringing with it a hint of thunder in the air.  Something about the approaching storm roused something that had been long since dormant in his heart…

Still gazing raptly at the storm clouds, a strong wind began to pick up, blowing his already shaggy hair back from his face.  Reaching absently to the silver chain around his neck, as soon as his fingers made contact, he saw something, something eerie and unsettling that flashed before his eyes.

He saw his parents.  Except they were not as he had imagined them.  He imagined them mournful, constantly in tears, faces haggard and drawn from pain.  These faces were healthy, full of life.  Lily and James Potter sat at a table that was presumably in a kitchen, for in their hands they held mugs of coffee—and they looked quite old.  What bothered him most was that they were laughing—living a full and happy life—without him.

In that instant, he forgot all the good he had done in the world—forgot about the four times of defeating the Dark Lord, forgot all the evil he had prevented.  The only thought that went through his mind was that if it weren't for him, his parents and so many others would still be alive….

His fingers closed spasmodically around his mother's silver orb.  Instinctively, he wrenched it loose from the chain, and felt the silver snap in two around his neck.  The tiny ball was glowing, the magic pulsing within it.  He  gazed for long moments at the orb, before raising it over his head.

"What do you mean?" he shouted in frustration, and hurled it to the ground.

There was a blinding flash of crackling lightning, and a tremendous boom of thunder.  Bright orange and blue flames, living and dancing, encircled him, obscured his vision, but he didn't feel the heat that should have been radiating from it…

Through the haze, he sensed movement.  A figure was gliding across the lake.  Just beyond the wall of fire, Harry saw that it was a woman…the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  He started to yell at her to stop, for she was about to walk straight through the blaze…and walk through it she did.

Harry's mouth sagged.  How was this possible?  Unless she was some sort of demon, perhaps…the woman was now right in front of him, close enough for him to see her more clearly.  This woman was dressed in sleeveless robes of austere, blinding white that clung to a very womanly figure.  The milky white of her skin contrasted sharply with her ebony black hair that whipped behind her back in the gale.  Her pale face was heart-shaped and her eyebrows were perfectly shaped over large, luminous eyes of deep brown, almost gold in a way, and somewhat slanted.  Her lush, red, cupid-bow lips were curled into a contemptuous smile.

"Hello, Harry Potter," she said to him in a low, echoing, kind voice that betrayed the disdainful expression on her face.  She continued to approach him, slowly, until she was so close to him he could feel her soft breath on his cheeks.  She was quite tall, a whole head taller than him, and he was one of the tallest in his year.  The woman then lifted a long, elegant hand and placed the tips of the long-nailed fingers under his chin.  Despite the flames from which she had appeared, her skin was icy cold.  Harry shivered as she raised his head to peer into his eyes.

"How very much like your father you look, Harry," she commented, her golden brown eyes grazing his face like a touch.  Then behind the gold flitted an amber hue, and he found himself caught in the gaze, helpless like an insect imprisoned in viscous resin.  "Though you have your mother's lovely green eyes."

These words jolted Harry back to his senses.  Drawing in a sharp breath, he asked slowly, "You knew my parents?"

"Of course I knew your parents," she replied at once, as though this were an obvious answer.  "Or rather, I know them."

"Know them?" Harry echoed sceptically, "They're dead."

"Of course they're dead," she alleged equably, still searching his face.  He jerked away from her outstretched hand and took several paces backward, though careful to keep plenty of space between him and the strange fire, eyeing her distrustfully.

"Who are you?  And how did you know my parents?"

The woman gave him a mysterious smile.  "My name is much too precious to be uttered upon mortal ears," she began in a voice dripping contempt.  "Though you may call me Crysania.  And I know them because I hold the past, present, and future in my mind.  I see them as they were, as they are…and as they would be."

Harry blinked.  "Alright…Crysania.  Are you some sort of angel, then?" he asked, noting how her hair still fanned behind her, the aura of light she emitted, the stark white of her robes, and the echoing quality of her voice.  Crysania's lips curled again.

"A fallen one, maybe," she said lightly.  "Though it may be because I don't play fairly."

"How so?" Harry asked with mounting unease.  He wanted to escape back to the castle, for he could sense the storm drawing ever-nearer, but the wall of fire that surrounded him wouldn't allow it.

"I will let you see what you want, but only for a price."

"Who says I wanted to see anything?" Harry asked in defiance.

"I know what you want, Harry," she said.  "You want to change the world.  Am I right?"

Harry didn't trust himself to meet her gaze.  Instead, he lowered his eyes and stared at the ground.  "I wish," he whispered, his voice most unlike his own, "that I had never been born."

Crysania's eyes glittered in approval.  "How predictable you are, Harry Potter," she said in a derisive voice.  "How very predictable.  You shall have your wish."

********

Okay, chapter one down.  I know, I know, that was "very predictable," but that's pretty much as cliché as it's gonna get.  Really short, wasn't it?  Yeah, I know, I lied.  There was a lot more humour and romance in this than I had planned, but that's pretty much all there's gonna be for now.  Right, well, people have so far disagreed with all of my ships except for that Hermione/Draco one from Silent Tears.  With my luck, I'll get my ass kicked for this Crissy/Draco one.  Oh well.  You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time, right?  Next chapter will be more suspenseful and unexpected, okies?  See you next time!