By Atlantis Forester
Disclaimer: You know what belongs to Tamora Pierce-she lives in the vicinity of my school, by the by! ^_^ Nicole Kidman is also filming right in front of my school, too! Just thought I'd mention it. Oh, and Alanna's talk with Mistress Cooper in this chapter is only a slightly changed version of that part in ItHofG when Alanna asks Mistress Cooper to teach her to dress like a girl.
Summary: "He blows hot, then cold. [...] He says I mustn't lead the ladies on, and he accuses me of flirting with Gary and Raoul in the same breath!" Alanna, squire to Prince Jonathan and friend to George, the King of Thieves, finds herself in many romantic dilemmas-dilemmas she never asked for. These are parts that Tamora Pierce hints to in In the Hand of the Goddess about her first heroine's more intimate love life in much finer detail. "I don't want to fall in love. I just want to be a warrior maiden."
Chapter 3: Squire Alan and Lady Alanna
Alanna groaned and banged her head against the wall several times before turning to Faithful. "Everything's so confusing!" she complained, burying her face in her hands. "Can't the world ever be simple?"
Faithful purred to himself and did not pay heed to his distressed mistress.
Alanna looked up and glared at her apathetic cat. "I need sympathy here!" she said crossly. Her only answer was a nonchalant blink. "Argh!" she yelled, tugging at her hair. Alanna threw off her boots, jumped under the covers of her bed, and stared sulkily at the wall, her pillow supporting her chin. Faithful sauntered to her side and made himself comfortable, painting the very portrait of a well-fed and satisfied feline.
The girl's amethyst eyes moved to her pet. Her expression was melancholy and tormented. "Oh, Faithful," she sighed, stroking his velvety black head. "I don't know what to do... When I first came here with my unusual intentions, I had thought of every possible aspect of the miseries I would bring myself with my actions... But never this! I never even considered it!"
Is it so hard to believe that two young males around your age can feel attracted to you? yowled Faithful, licking her hand with his sandpapery tongue.
"They do not," the girl retorted stubbornly. "It's just because they know I'm a girl. Otherwise, why would these things happen to me? I don't hold a candle to even the ugliest lady at court!" After a moment of silence, Alanna got up and went to stand before her full-length mirror. Short, coppery hair in the style of a popular cut amongst youths, pale skin, wide, purple eyes, small and rosy mouth... Her figure was overly slender and delicate for a boy, but in comparison to a girl, she was too muscular and stocky.
Glumly, Alanna took this all in. "I'm disgusting," she announced. She lifted up the hem of her shirt to observe her bare waist. "I'm too fat for a girl, and too skinny for a lad." Unbuttoning her shirt and pulling it off, Alanna criticized every detail. "And it's not like I'm exactly curvaceous or voluptuous--even then, how could they ever notice, what with this corset?"
Faithful's sneeze sounded unusually like a laugh.
Swiveling around to face her disrespectful cat, Alanna gave him a wilting look. "Look at me!" she wailed, waving her arms in the air. "I'm ugly! Compared to all those court ladies, I'm repulsive." With a pause, she walked back to the mirror and raised her hands to rake through her fiery hair. With slight hesitation, she piled her hair on her head and studied the effect. "Ugh, this doesn't fit me."
All of a sudden,the connecting door slid open. "Alanna, I just fo--" Jonathan's rich baritone voice abruptly halted.
Alanna whirled around and saw the exceedingly handsome young knight halfway through the doorway. His dark hair was slightly disheveled, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to breathe normally. A deep flush graced his olive skin, and his sapphire eyes were wide and staring.
Alanna gained her wits about a few seconds too late, and dove at the nearest article of clothing to mask her improper state. Jon stayed frozen. Feeling very uncomfortable and flushed, Alanna could not help but take note that they were only a few steps apart. She coughed and tried to cover herself as well as possible. Suddenly, Jonathan stepped slowly forward. Alanna gulped and inched backwards till her thighs hit her bed. Jonathan's breaths were short and uneven as he reached out a trembling hand to stroke her cheek.
Overtaken by surprise, Alanna gasped at his touch. Instead of bring his hand back to his side after the contact, he moved it to the back of her neck and slid it down her back to her waist. He was now impossibly close. Alanna felt her heart beat erratically as she looked up in his smouldering eyes. He now was sliding his other hand over her bare shoulders and slowly pushed her down on her back on the bed.
Alanna, not comprehending the situation, let her knight-master brush his warm lips against her throat. His kisses burned like brands on her uncovered skin. Soon, Jonathan was leaning over her on the mattress, his hands roaming over her neck, shoulders, stomach and arms as his mouth was pressed down over hers.
By now, it dawned upon Alanna exactly what was going on. With a strangled cry, she pulled away from Jonathan's clinging arms with a great deal of effort. Confused and looking lost, Jonathan bit his lip and gave her a searching glance. The girl was panting, her hair ruffled and her lips swollen from his attentions. It cost him a lot of self-restraint to keep himself from continuing his attentions.
"J-Jonathan..." Alanna whispered, looking very embarassed. She swiftly reached for her shirt and put it on before looking at her friend. His lean and muscular form was mysteriously shaded in the dim light of a few candles.
"Alanna," he answered, his voice cracked. "Mithros, you're so young--I can't believe I... I'm so sorry." Swallowing hard, he got off the bed and, after a long, searching look, he strode out and closed the connecting door.
Alanna groaned and buried her face in her pillow, huddling under the sheets. You seem to be saying that a lot more often, nowadays... A sigh escaped her. Jon...
Faithful yawned and rubbed his nose against his paws lazily. I'm such a wonderful chaperone, he meowed, easily dodging a flying pillow.
"Damned cat," snarled Alanna.
Humans are such ungrateful creatures, remarked Faithful. And don't forget that you have to go see George's mother tomorrow for your dress.
Alanna jumped up. "It completely slipped my mind!" she wailed.
"Hold still," Mistress Cooper ordered, her mouth full of pins. "You're worse than a city lad getting fitted with his first pair of long breeches,"
"It doesn't look right," Alanna objected, trying to hold her body rigid while she turned her head. "It looks like Squire Alan in a girl's dress."
"That's because we've done nothing with Squire Alan's hair. Besides, Squire Alan doesn't have a cleavage. Now, hold still!"
Once the dress was properly fitted, Mistress Cooper went to work on Alanna's flaming locks. They were combed, curled, pinned, and styled. The older woman then moved to the younger's face and applied a light shade of cosmetics. Alanna's lips were darkened, her arched brows refined, her eyelids shaded, and her skin paled. As she worked, Mistress Copper said, "I think you're wise to start accustoming yourself to women's gear... Although you've a lot to learn."
"If I had known just how much fuss it would have been, I would never have asked." Alanna heaved a sigh and tried to relax as Mistress Cooper powdered her temples. "It's just... I needed an adventure. I've been pretty restless lately."
"Is life in the palace too tame for you?"
"Not too tame, precisely," replied Alanna, flushing at the memory of the night before. "I just... needed to get away from... certain people. I need time to think about some things."
"Hm, I see." Mistress Cooper smiled secretively at herself as she pulled away and held out a hand to Alanna. "Now, stand up, child. Let me look at you."
Alanna tugged at her skirt and patted her hair as she lifted herself from the chair. She suddenly noted an odd look on Mistress Cooper's face. "What? I-is something... wrong?" she asked nervously.
Mistress Cooper did not answer. She simply took Alanna by the shoulders and swivelled her around to face the mirror. Alanna swallowed. "I-I'm... beautiful..." she said, touching her reflection with an awestruck expression.
"You'll get over it," said Mistress Cooper with a small smile. "You're not as beautiful as, say, Lady Cythe--"
"No one is as beautiful as Lady Cythera," interrupted Alanna. She moved to sit down.
"Not that way! You'll rumple your skirts! Sweep them out--like this--and sit with them spread around you. And keep your feet together."
Alanna had to try several times before she got it right. "It's going to be as hard to learn to be a girl as it was to be a boy."
"Harder," said Mistress Cooper, putting the tea on. "Most girls don't have to unlearn being a boy. And now you have two sets of Court manners to master."
"But I already know Court manners!"
"Do you know how to curtsy? How to write invitations? How to accept flowers from a young knight or a married man?"
Alanna shook her head at all of these, dismayed. "But it's not as if I'd ever be getting flowers from anyone," snorted the red-headed girl. "Any cakes left?"
"I baked some fresh--"
"Great Merciful Mother!" Alanna gasped. She heard horses in the courtyard: visitors! She turned to flee to the back of the house.
Mistress Cooper caught her. "What has gotten into you?"
George's voice floated to Alanna's ears as he opened the kitchen door. "Mother! See who I finally brought to meet you!" he called out, in good spirits. He turned to someone in the doorway. "Come on in, then--she's here."
"Stand straight," whispered Mistress Cooper to Alanna, who was stiff. A spark of mischief lit her eyes. "He knows you're a girl, after all. What's there to be feared?"
George looked at his mother. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't know you had company..." His breath caught in his throat when he recognized Alanna. His gaze raked hotly over her, slow inch by slow inch as Alanna blushed.
"George, you're blocking the way," someone laughed from behind the thief. Jonathan squeezed past George and froze when he lay his eyes on Alanna.
Alanna turned crimson when she realized that the King of Thieves and the Prince of Tortall were staring at her with clear desire in their eyes. There was a long moment of silence till Mistress Cooper coughed, smothering a smile with her hand, and took pity on the girl. "Come in, both of you. Get by the furnace to warm yourselves. Alanna, will you be so kind as to serve them tea while I handle the cakes? Take off your hats, you two! Don't you know when you're being served by a lady?"
George and Jonathan did as directed, but did not remove their eyes for one instant from the slender fire-haired girl. As she moved past them, George gently seized her hand. "So you're a girl, after all," he murmured admiringly.
"Didn't you already know?" demanded Alanna tartly. "Jon, you don't seem too surprised."
"Well, you've been pretty mysterious, lately," said Jonathan quietly. "And remember, I caught you piling your hair on top of your head, yesternight."
Alanna turned redder. She knew what he was referring to. She was jolted out of her thoughts when George's warm hand left hers. "Um, I'll go get your cups," she muttered before dashing towards the cupboards. Mistress Cooper approached them with a smile, holding a tray of deliciously fragrant golden cakes.
After a rather silent session in which they consumed the treats, Mistress Cooper spoke up. "Alanna and I were planning on going to the market in a little. Would you young men like to accompany us?"
George gave his most charming smile to the two women. "It would be our pleasure... Wouldn't it, Jon?"
Jon agreed with enthusiasm. He looked at Alanna. "Are you going as Lady Alanna or Squire Alan?"
Alanna smiled wryly. "It will be my first day out as Lady Alanna."
"Mistress Cooper!" A man dashed in, holding an inert woman in his arms. "Please, madam, you have to help her!"
Mistress Cooper hurried to the girl's side. She turned to Alanna. "I'm sorry, dear, but I cannot go with you today. This girl is very ill, and I'll have to stay with her. You, George and young Johnny should go ahead without me. You'll have more fun without me, anyways."
George and Jon grinned.
A.N. Alanna will be stuck alone with George and Jon in the next chapter! Be prepared for the coming tension!
