Over the next couple of months, Kara ditched her Carson City surname and changed it to Paul (in Salt Lake City), Benson (in Denver) and Marlowe (in Lincoln). In the middle of her fifth month she relocated to Des Moines and decided on Maven for a new name.
"Frank, Dean, Paul, Benson, Marlowe and Maven," she muttered to herself, staring in the shop window in distaste. "Sounds like I've developed some sort of penchant for weird names."
She'd always hung onto the same first name- Kara. She didn't know why. It was short, frank, concise and to the point. Sort of like her.
"Except the part about being short," she said. Kara had had a late growth spurt and as a result had wound up one of the tallest female X5s, along with 799. This made the two of them stand out, which wasn't good.
X5-799. She did miss her, in a funny sort of way.
She turned her jacket collar up to hide her barcode. It looked funny. Kara silently hoped her potential employer would only dismiss it as lousy fashion sense. But it was OK. The highly fashion-conscious rarely made the cut looking after small children.
That was right. Kara was meeting with a woman advertising for a '20 yrs-up woman to attend boy (3 yrs.) during day...' Her eyes had widened at the salary. With that sort of money she could rent an apartment and pay bills, and maybe even buy food...
Kara suspected the fact that she was five months pregnant wouldn't score her any points. But hey, the advertisement hadn't said that no pregnant women would need apply.
And she DESPERATELY needed some mo-
"Maven!" barked someone, walking outside from the takeaway food shop. Kara sighed.
"Mrs Sneddon, I keep telling you that although I rent your back room for a generously miniscule sum, that alone does not give you the right to unceremoniously call me by my last name. I am not one of your employees- nor, indubitably, do I care to become one," said Kara.
Carlene Sneddon was nonplussed, and for the first time in years Kara Maven could take pride in the fact that of all the women in Des Moines, she was probably the most intelligent. She'd spent much of her teenage years in other countries and the novelty had quickly worn off. Everyone seemed to go so SLOWLY, on the Outside.
Her first trip to a foreign country had been to Italy, when she was fourteen. She'd had a hard time concealing her joy when she'd found out that she was being sent with 657, the X5 she'd hero-worshipped since her earliest years. The objective was to intercept a meeting between two government agents in a movie theatre.
The two of them had been set up in the tiniest house imaginable for a few days, to get their heads straight and memorize their plans. Although days were spent in espionage, intensive discussions of the Plan (one of those things you know you're supposed to spell with a capital) and private study, the nights and evenings she'd been able to spend, so dizzyingly, frighteningly far from the place they'd grown up in, were magical. She hadn't been able remember the last time she'd felt so at ease around any of her sibs since the simplification when she was nine.
The night before the execution of the Plan, she'd found her sister sitting at the table in their tiny kitchen unit clutching a glass of tea in her hand. The heat didn't seem to bother her at all, and she just stared at the wall dully.
"Hey," Kara had greeted her sister warmly, so indescribably happy that she could do that again. She frowned. "You're not supposed to consume caffienated drinks, 657, they're- are you OK?"
"I'm fine," said 657 hollowly. "Just fine."
"No, you're not. I can tell. Really, there's nothing for you to be not fine about. We're here together and weather's nice and the Plan will go absolutely exactly as devised."
"If you say so."
"What's WRONG?" Kara had asked desperately, unable to bear it. Her older unit member had been more of a big sister than ever those few days- weird little gestures, like piling out her Italian texts for her before Kara had even got up from the two hours of quiet rest time 657 had insisted she have. She sat down opposite her.
"I have a peculiar wistful feeling of longing and angst and I'm not sure why."
"Well, what brought it on?" Kara asked, bewildered. She was so confused. Her beautiful, perfect older sister never gave in to emotion.
657 tightened her grasp on the hot glass. The heat didn't seem to hurt 657, but it was driving her mood, so Kara had reached forward and taken the hand in a pseudo-comforting gesture before trying to manoeuvre the burning hot glass away.
"No- leave it there. I like it." X5-657 said this sharply, and Kara had felt stung. For once she couldn't think of a witty reply.
"It doesn't matter what we like or don't like. That's what you've always told m-" she began.
"Leave it there." She was not bossy or businesslike, the way Kara had always admired her, but almost dangerous as she said this.
"OK, ma'am," said Kara meekly.
She'd got up to leave when she heard 657's voice. "Wait, don't go."
Slowly, Kara had turned around. "Yes, ma'am?"
"Quit calling me ma'am and come here. I've got something for you."
Kara edged forward silently expecting a reprimand, and to her shock X5-657 rose from her seat and put her arms around her for a few seconds.
It was the first time anyone had ever given her a hug.
She stood still, and when 657 sensed that her sister wasn't responding (which was quickly, even for an X5- she was just so PERCEPTIVE) she immediately backed off.
"What the hell was that?" asked Kara softly.
"Makes me feel better," X5-657 had shrugged.
"I don't require being made to feel better," she'd retorted.
"Sorry."
A pause.
"I was thinking about X5-600, OK? I was thinking about how I... want... him."
"Why? You're not in heat, are you?"
X5-657 sighed and gave her the smallest of smiles. "You're endearingly dense sometimes, do you know that? I was thinking about how I want him here with me, because I've been away from him days and when I get back I'll only be with him one night before he's being deployed in Germany for a whole MONTH. I spend so much time with him, it's insane. I can't imagine sitting around a whole night without talking with him. We've almost never been apart- all my other missions we were always paired because we work so well together."
"I know that. I've got a damn room between you two, you think I don't hear you sneaking in and out?"
657 seemed to be considering something. "767, do you believe in love?"
She asked this with the same tentative tone a small child would ask a more cynical peer if they believed in the Tooth Fairy.
"Love? I suppose. It's not what we feel, though."
"I believe in it. I know it."
"That's... good. What does it feel like?"
657 looked annoyed. "Holy shit, it doesn't FEEL like anything. It's not a disease. It's just THERE all the time and it makes me feel good."
"It's not something we're allowed to have, though."
"God- listen, do you love me?"
"I- I guess..."
She looked at Kara with something that wavered between disdainful and irate. "You are hopeless, soldier. HOPELESS," she spat, and Kara had cringed.
Then X5-657 softened. "I apologise. I was way out of line there."
Suddenly, Kara had grinned wickedly. "Ehi, il soldato, è venuto su. Su che sono delle sorelle per se no per togliere la sua collera? Ma preoccupa neanche circa esso. Il due di noi, abbiamo bisogno di una distrazione, nonostante. Dovremmo.. Non so... rivede il Progetto?"
She rattled all this off very fast.
657 pumped a fist. "Excellent, you've been practicing!"
"Maven? KARA MAVEN!"
Kara was brought out of her reverie by her landlady's voice. She sighed.
"Your rent, generously miniscule as it is, is late! I have children to feed, you know!"
Kara rolled her eyes. Sneddon acted like she had an entire bright-eyed brood clinging at her skirts, when in fact her 'children' were a twenty-eight-year-old son (who spent all his time watching 'Ricci Lake' reruns in a darkened room) and a daughter, thirty-two (who perpetually dressed in leopard print and often mixed up such complex commands as HOT and COLD).
"Don't you roll your eyes at me! That baby might get you some liberties, Maven, but not here. If you don't have my money by Friday you're out on your behind!"
Kara laughed as Carlene stormed back inside. "Behind?" she called. "Why don't you just say ass, you DORK?"
Setting off for the cross town bus shelter, Kara was very glad of her Common Verbal Usage course, although it had taken her a long time to get it. ROCKS/ROCK had been a tough one- It's ROCKS for one thing, ROCK for many things, her brain automatically reminded her.
On the bus a young boy offered her his seat in a beautifully old-fashioned gesture, but Kara was too pent-up to appreciate it. "There's nothing WRONG with me!" she barked, making everyone jump.
The swaying motion of the rickety bus was doing nothing for her mood. There was a loud clank from the engine and Kara jumped a little.
"Got it?" asked 657 for the thousandth time, 'it' being her handgun. Kara, too excited to be irritated by this, nodded.
Both carried in concealed weapons as they snuck into the theatre. The agents, they knew, were a man and woman in their late thirties, and would be sitting together in the third row from the entrance. Luckily the film theatre was fairly deserted so they could not confuse the targets with anyone else.
Kara had never seen a fictional film before. She knew she wouldn't have any desire to either, after dragging herself through that ordeal. It was some terribly boring saga of a well-endowed Latina and an obnoxious, oblivious gorilla-man who seemed to take well over two hours to even hint at their utterly unrealistic ardour for one another.
One agent entered about fifteen minutes into the film, the other just as Latina Lady was preparing to cast herself off a cliff. Kara didn't have the time to feel immensely glad, her body was revving for battle.
A kind of gleam had entered 657's eyes, and she began to rise from her seat slowly, slowly, so slowly you could barely register that where she had sat she now stood straight, though with her knees bent a little as if about to jump.
Kara switched her own gun from one hand to the other, knowing quite well that she was right-handed. Some X5s, mostly the older ones, were ambidextrous for practical purposes. She was ready to cover her sister if necessary.
She cocked the gun suddenly, and just as Latina Lady onscreen let out a wild shriek she fired. With a BANG the female operative slumped forward in her seat.
From the other five or so people in the theatre came confused yells. The man turned in his seat, reached for his own gun. X5-657 was too fast for him, to fast for anyone. Before he had even fully registered who fired the gun, he was dead in the aisle.
And how hard and fast Kara had ran, as the two had fled the scene...
The house was biggish for a post-Pulse residence, and Kara rather liked the look of it. It was at least homier than the room she was renting. From outside she could smell good food and clean sheets, two smells she'd always liked.
She ruffled her lengthening hair, glanced in the metal setting of the doorbell, smoothed it down, inspected it again and fluffed it up again, preferring it that way.
Kara rang the doorbell.
A little boy with red hair, obviously her potential charge, answered it almost immediately. He inspected her. "You've got a big tummy," he observed.
"I hadn't noticed," said Kara dryly. "I suppose you haven't noticed your rather small amount of tact either, kid, hmm?"
He blinked in bewilderment and for once Kara decided this probably wasn't the best time for sarcasm.
"Where's your mom?"
"I'll get her," said the kid, scampering away. Kara stood very still, breathing steadily in and out.
"Mommy, there's a lady 'ere and she's silly, she said silly stuff and she's got a big tummy," she heard the boy babbling from the other end of the hallway.
"Jamie, you know that's not a nice thing to say. And I want-" The mother stopped as she reached the open door. Kara pasted a smile on her her face and extended a hand.
"Hello, my name is Kara Maven and I'm calling about the caretaking job for your little boy."
"Um, hi. I'm Rebecca Seymour and you've obviously already met Jamie. Wipe your feet as you come in."
Kara raised an eyebrow at her retreating back. Jamie, who was gawping at her, giggled. She smiled, glanced one more time at the metal settings of the doorbell and decided she probably looked more credible with neat hair, smoothing it down nervously as she entered.
She had to go through a great deal of third degree, transforming her sordid life into a mass of half-truths.
"... and what about when your baby is born? Will you be able to rely on relatives for help?"
Kara winced. "I'm an only child, my parents live in... Washington and his father and I are separated."
"Oh, really?"
Yep, the cold, narcissistic bastard and I have been 'separated' eons, Kara's sarcastic inner voice contributed. Asshole. I hope he's rotting in a ditch somewhere.
Of course, she wasn't bitter or anything. She was all for justice. That was exactly what he deserved.
Of course.
Half an hour later, Mrs Seymour rose from the kitchen table and shook hands with Kara. "I'll get in touch."
"You can reach me at Sneddon's Corner Store."
"Oh, do you work there?" asked Mrs Seymour, looking a little relieved.
"Nope, I live there. They let me live in the back room for twenty dollars a week," said Kara in what she hoped was a flippant tone.
"Oh."
"Mrs Seymour?"
"Yes, Kara?"
"Can- can I have something to eat, please? I'm very hungry."
She looked startled and finally nodded. "Anything in particular?"
Kara could name a million and one foods she would happily devour- all so different to her Manticore fare of high-energy stuff with the texture of cardboard and variety of bread, water and bread. She answered, "Anything filling."
Mrs Seymour went to her cupboard and pulled out various foodstuffs, gingerly laying them on the table. "Make yourself a couple of sandwiches," she said awkwardly.
Kara nodded gratefully and looked down at the food, a little daunted. She knew it didn't take a genius to make a sandwich, but she was much better at finding food when it was scarce than at preparing it when it was laid out in front of her. Nevertheless, a few minutes later she'd made three lopsided sandwiches and was given a bag for them.
She hated this. She hated charity. Stupid kid. Stupid breeding partner. Stupid Manticore.
But she had to try one last thing. As Mrs Seymour, a wide-eyed Jamie hiding behind her, ushered Kara through the front door, Kara abruptly turned and said loudly, "I really need this job, you know."
"Yes... I know. We'll be in touch, Kara."
As Mrs Seymour closed the door, Kara knew she wasn't going to get the job. She hadn't mentioned her plans for giving the baby up for adoption (partly for fear it would make her sound uncompassionate). In order to reassure herself, she stamped off, not sure where she was going, snarling Italian swearwords under her breath.
She ended up in a bare, asphalted excuse for a playground and collapsed onto a bench. Suck it up, soldier! barked the sarcastic part of her brain. You've no right to complain.
"I've got EVERY fucking right to complain!" she muttered, wringing her hands. She ate the sandwiches too quickly and still felt hollow inside.
No. Not hollow. Not with this alien thing Manticore had planted into her body. She couldn't have done it herself. She'd never have wished this on herself. It was unreal. She was a soldier!
It was getting harder and harder to hold onto that.
Kara couldn't face going back and facing Sneddon this way. She just sat there, watching kids throw a ball around and a small gaggle of girls in their early teens perched atop rusty play equipment, talking.
Hours went by and the shadows grew long. Girls began yawning and complaining for their dinners, paltry as they would definitely be, and jumped nimbly down, retrieving various brothers and sisters and trailing them home.
She thought back to better times- mostly to her missions abroad. After her mission in Italy she'd been in parts of Africa with a team of assorted Washington and Wyoming X5s, as well as a bigger group of X6s. She'd been fifteen years old by this time, and had turned sixteen upon her return. Neither 472 nor 418 had been part of the Africa team and Kara had, against all her better judgement, pined for them with all her heart. Still, there was no better feeling than catching their eyes as the weary deployment made their triumphant return. It was autumn and the whole of the forest was golden and orange, when Kara had returned.
X5-472 had looked so happy. She'd given him the smallest of winks and a very slow, very surreptitious thumbs-up. He'd thumped 418 on the shoulder and pointed, and both had returned the gesture as they'd all been hurried across the quad towards their respective blocks for a well-earned rest. Before she'd been whisked into Block Sixteen she'd just had the time to mouth GOOD TO BE BACK at them before snapping to attention.
Probably the highlight of Matt's teenage years, smirked the sarcastic part of her brain, and while she did not appreciate the dig at her brother she liked referring to him that way. Somehow Matt Liosis sounded so much more warm than 332231418472.
She hadn't a clue about 418, but Kara missed him a lot. Possibly even more than Matt, which was insane because she and Matt had been together since their nursery days. But because she was the oldest of the ones born in 2000, she was moved into the barracks first. 418 had warmed to her immediately and 657 had sort of taken Kara under her wing. Then the others had come, in ones and twos, over a series of months, and they became a little trio. 418, 767 and 472. That was how it was meant to be.
Kara rose from the bench at dawn and left silently. And half an hour later there she was, staking out the front entrance of the downtown medical centre.
"I gotta see someone," she muttered to the secretary as soon as the doors opened. She tried to look this woman in the face and was given a look of contempt.
"We usually need you to make an appointment, dear," she said, and Kara mentally added that to the list of terms of endearment she'd never, ever call her unborn son in the, oh, ten minutes she'd see him.
Because REALLY. She wasn't quite THAT cold-hearted. She'd ask to hold the little brat a little while. Maybe she'd even name him, if she was feeling generous. Which Kara didn't suppose she would be after hours and hours in labour.
Kara felt irritated. "I live in the back room of a damn corner store, ma'am. I'm allowed to GET calls provided they don't extend over ten minutes, and never under any circumstances would my landlady actually consider letting me make an appointment. If I have to sit here all day until someone is ten seconds late for an appointment I don't care. I just need to speak with someone."
She wandered into a hard little seat, tapping her feet continually on the floor as the waiting room filled up and until the secretary poked her gingerly on the shoulder. "You'll be seen now. Go down the corridor to the fifth room on the left."
The doctor's name was Hereward, but Kara instinctively nicknamed her the Good Doctor. This had been her joke with 418, because most of the doctors at Manticore were anything but good.
Of course they were TALENTED. They were the best of the best of the best. But she distinctly remembered jokey conversations with X5-418.
"767, how goes it?"
"Well, the Good Doctors Jekyll, Moriarty and Frankenstein broke my wrist and elbow. For research purposes, of course."
"Of course."
"Technically speaking, I shouldn't even be back on the field. I haven't entirely regained function in my elbow."
"I gathered that when I saw that you're holding it at a weird angle. How will you go on the shooting range like that?"
"Well, the Good Doctors said I should have proper function in about two days, but those little hypochondriacs the X6s have the antibodies in their blood malfunctioning, and the whole damn infirmary is full."
"We are lucky, though, aren't we?" That was the bit that would cause both of them to dissolve into cynical laughter.
"Miss Maven? Miss Maven, are you all right?"
Kara snapped back into the present. "Fine. Just fine."
The Good Doctor fixed her with a questioning gaze and sat down at the desk with a file. The whole room seemed to be a filing cabinet masquerading as a surgery- all the walls were shelves overflowing with files and papers.
"Are you here for anything specific?"
Kara strived to eliminate any intimidating facial expressions from her countenance. "I was wanting information on adoption. I'm not in a position to raise a child and probably never will be."
Hereward blinked and said finally, "You'll get better information from Social Services, Kara."
"Just tell me what you know," said Kara in a begging tone.
"In this day and age it can be difficult to find people willing to adopt. Basically, Miss Maven, you will lose your rights as a legal parent. You will not be allowed contact with your baby until it reaches-"
"He," corrected Kara loudly. "It's a boy. I've got a feeling, doctor."
"- HE reaches the age of eighteen, in which case you should be prepared for the fact that your son might not want contact with you. Tell me, does the father know you're pregnant?"
Kara considered this. Even though her breeding partner was undoubtedly a traitorous bastard, she was prepared to admit that he probably hadn't known she was pregnant.
Not that that would have influenced his decision in any way.
"No."
"Do you have contact? The father's consent is needed for this."
"I don't know where he is," Kara said.
The Good Doctor looked at her strangely. "Why did you have a child with him?"
Kara shrugged, but when she spoke it was dully, without emotion. "It was necessary."
Sympathetically, the Good Doctor Hereward said, "Did you agree to sex, Miss Maven?"
Agree? Ha. What did she know? Stupid woman. It was a mission.
"I guess. It was necessary."
The Good Doctor began to talk, writing down some telephone numbers and pushing them toward her, and when she finally gave Kara leave to go. Kara swept her hair unconcernedly over one shoulder and heard the Good Doctor make a small shocked noise.
Kara froze. "What?" said Kara. When Dr Hereward said nothing she turned around. "WHAT?"
"You've got a barcode," said the doctor faintly.
Kara swore silently inside her head. Her jacket collar was crooked, the left side up, the right side sticking out at a weird angle.
She gave the doctor a look of fierce contempt. "Shit, really? I'd never noticed."
Kara left as quickly as transgenic-ly possible, slamming the door hard behind her. Plaster fell from the ceiling like snow for a few seconds and Kara broke into an awkward jog over the cord carpeting and out into the street.
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN THEY SAW IT THEY SAW YOUR BARCODE AND NOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN- Kara's instinctive voice screamed at her.
She skidded to a halt at the pavement, nearly going straight onto the road. Sirens were filling the air.
Dear God, not again. Tabloids calling her a 'bloodthirsty freak of modern science' were bad enough, but-
But nothing, interrupted her sarcastic inner voice. What are you bitching about? You ARE bloodthirsty, Kara Maven, you used to take immense pride in that fact. And you ARE also a freak, at least out here, so-
But forget it. She had to make a run for it.
* * *
DISCLAIMER: 'Dark Angel' belongs to Fox and James Cameron. All the songs on the soundtrack belong to their respective owners. Not me. So don't sue.
NOTE: Just something before I launch into a long haul that you'd do well to skip- I find it between funny and tragic (I find a lot of things between funny and tragic) that the X-series probably would have known the words 'infirmary' or 'shotgun' before they had a clue of the words 'hug' or 'miss' (as in "I miss him." rather than "Your attack right there was missing something. You will be dragged into Psy-Ops immediately!")
Sorry about the silly flashbacks. As you've probably guessed, flashbacks were one of my favourite parts of DA (making 'Boo' a good episode for me- "What the hell was that?" "Flashback. Happens all the time."). And I really like delving into Kara's past and having my own weirdo version of Manticore to fiddle around with.
And sorry about the pointlessness of this chapter. I'm hoping to have the story really begin to move in the Chapter Five.
Kara's long string of Italian means approximately, "Hey, soldier, come on. What are sisters for if not for taking out your anger on? But don't even worry about it. The two of us, we need a distraction, though. We should... I don't know... revise the Plan?"
And just remember- I have never been to any of the places so far specified in the story (well, except Italy), so I'm sorry if there are geographical errors. Let me know and I'll correct them..
I've been thinking about Kara, and I've been wondering a lot about how to describe her looks. Of course Kara would have looked like Jenna Marie Gooch (who I am eternally grateful to for portraying Eva for those few seconds), but seeing as Jenna Marie Gooch has only ever reportedly been seen on TV as Eva, and even then only for a few seconds, that doesn't give me heaps and heaps to go on. Personally I think Kara would look a bit like Sarah Jane Morris, who's famous (sort of) for playing Ralph in 'Bag 'Em'. Has anyone ever considered the fact that Eva (in the two seconds she was seen) and Ralph look a little alike? I think they've got the same nose and colouring (although it's hard to tell- the lighting in Eva's death scene was FREAKY). She looks very Kara-like in some 'Bag 'Em' caps I've seen, and in one glorious image she has a tiny hint of Kara's oh-so-intimidating Smirk.
Maybe Adult!Kara's got a tiny dash of Lorin Heath (CeCe from 'Freak Nation') thrown in for good measure- the body type, for example. Her hair is also that length when she leaves Manticore. It's very nice to have two actresses from the same show to compare Eva/Kara with, but it's absolute hell trying to find any pictures of them in other roles. So basically most of what you'll get about Kara is that she's tall, with nice cheekbones, scarily blue eyes, short-ish blonde hair and a really tiny birthmark on her right pointer finger that sort of resembles a crawling baby if you really use your imagination.
And yes, I do realise I'm obsessed.
(The birthmark MIGHT become a minor plot point in later chapters, you know)
Now that I have your attention (ha), thanks to the three or so people who've reviewed so far. You're all absolutely brilliant.
SONGS FOR CHAPTER FOUR:
The Italy Flashbacks- 'All The Things She Said' by Tatu
"Frank, Dean, Paul, Benson, Marlowe and Maven," she muttered to herself, staring in the shop window in distaste. "Sounds like I've developed some sort of penchant for weird names."
She'd always hung onto the same first name- Kara. She didn't know why. It was short, frank, concise and to the point. Sort of like her.
"Except the part about being short," she said. Kara had had a late growth spurt and as a result had wound up one of the tallest female X5s, along with 799. This made the two of them stand out, which wasn't good.
X5-799. She did miss her, in a funny sort of way.
She turned her jacket collar up to hide her barcode. It looked funny. Kara silently hoped her potential employer would only dismiss it as lousy fashion sense. But it was OK. The highly fashion-conscious rarely made the cut looking after small children.
That was right. Kara was meeting with a woman advertising for a '20 yrs-up woman to attend boy (3 yrs.) during day...' Her eyes had widened at the salary. With that sort of money she could rent an apartment and pay bills, and maybe even buy food...
Kara suspected the fact that she was five months pregnant wouldn't score her any points. But hey, the advertisement hadn't said that no pregnant women would need apply.
And she DESPERATELY needed some mo-
"Maven!" barked someone, walking outside from the takeaway food shop. Kara sighed.
"Mrs Sneddon, I keep telling you that although I rent your back room for a generously miniscule sum, that alone does not give you the right to unceremoniously call me by my last name. I am not one of your employees- nor, indubitably, do I care to become one," said Kara.
Carlene Sneddon was nonplussed, and for the first time in years Kara Maven could take pride in the fact that of all the women in Des Moines, she was probably the most intelligent. She'd spent much of her teenage years in other countries and the novelty had quickly worn off. Everyone seemed to go so SLOWLY, on the Outside.
Her first trip to a foreign country had been to Italy, when she was fourteen. She'd had a hard time concealing her joy when she'd found out that she was being sent with 657, the X5 she'd hero-worshipped since her earliest years. The objective was to intercept a meeting between two government agents in a movie theatre.
The two of them had been set up in the tiniest house imaginable for a few days, to get their heads straight and memorize their plans. Although days were spent in espionage, intensive discussions of the Plan (one of those things you know you're supposed to spell with a capital) and private study, the nights and evenings she'd been able to spend, so dizzyingly, frighteningly far from the place they'd grown up in, were magical. She hadn't been able remember the last time she'd felt so at ease around any of her sibs since the simplification when she was nine.
The night before the execution of the Plan, she'd found her sister sitting at the table in their tiny kitchen unit clutching a glass of tea in her hand. The heat didn't seem to bother her at all, and she just stared at the wall dully.
"Hey," Kara had greeted her sister warmly, so indescribably happy that she could do that again. She frowned. "You're not supposed to consume caffienated drinks, 657, they're- are you OK?"
"I'm fine," said 657 hollowly. "Just fine."
"No, you're not. I can tell. Really, there's nothing for you to be not fine about. We're here together and weather's nice and the Plan will go absolutely exactly as devised."
"If you say so."
"What's WRONG?" Kara had asked desperately, unable to bear it. Her older unit member had been more of a big sister than ever those few days- weird little gestures, like piling out her Italian texts for her before Kara had even got up from the two hours of quiet rest time 657 had insisted she have. She sat down opposite her.
"I have a peculiar wistful feeling of longing and angst and I'm not sure why."
"Well, what brought it on?" Kara asked, bewildered. She was so confused. Her beautiful, perfect older sister never gave in to emotion.
657 tightened her grasp on the hot glass. The heat didn't seem to hurt 657, but it was driving her mood, so Kara had reached forward and taken the hand in a pseudo-comforting gesture before trying to manoeuvre the burning hot glass away.
"No- leave it there. I like it." X5-657 said this sharply, and Kara had felt stung. For once she couldn't think of a witty reply.
"It doesn't matter what we like or don't like. That's what you've always told m-" she began.
"Leave it there." She was not bossy or businesslike, the way Kara had always admired her, but almost dangerous as she said this.
"OK, ma'am," said Kara meekly.
She'd got up to leave when she heard 657's voice. "Wait, don't go."
Slowly, Kara had turned around. "Yes, ma'am?"
"Quit calling me ma'am and come here. I've got something for you."
Kara edged forward silently expecting a reprimand, and to her shock X5-657 rose from her seat and put her arms around her for a few seconds.
It was the first time anyone had ever given her a hug.
She stood still, and when 657 sensed that her sister wasn't responding (which was quickly, even for an X5- she was just so PERCEPTIVE) she immediately backed off.
"What the hell was that?" asked Kara softly.
"Makes me feel better," X5-657 had shrugged.
"I don't require being made to feel better," she'd retorted.
"Sorry."
A pause.
"I was thinking about X5-600, OK? I was thinking about how I... want... him."
"Why? You're not in heat, are you?"
X5-657 sighed and gave her the smallest of smiles. "You're endearingly dense sometimes, do you know that? I was thinking about how I want him here with me, because I've been away from him days and when I get back I'll only be with him one night before he's being deployed in Germany for a whole MONTH. I spend so much time with him, it's insane. I can't imagine sitting around a whole night without talking with him. We've almost never been apart- all my other missions we were always paired because we work so well together."
"I know that. I've got a damn room between you two, you think I don't hear you sneaking in and out?"
657 seemed to be considering something. "767, do you believe in love?"
She asked this with the same tentative tone a small child would ask a more cynical peer if they believed in the Tooth Fairy.
"Love? I suppose. It's not what we feel, though."
"I believe in it. I know it."
"That's... good. What does it feel like?"
657 looked annoyed. "Holy shit, it doesn't FEEL like anything. It's not a disease. It's just THERE all the time and it makes me feel good."
"It's not something we're allowed to have, though."
"God- listen, do you love me?"
"I- I guess..."
She looked at Kara with something that wavered between disdainful and irate. "You are hopeless, soldier. HOPELESS," she spat, and Kara had cringed.
Then X5-657 softened. "I apologise. I was way out of line there."
Suddenly, Kara had grinned wickedly. "Ehi, il soldato, è venuto su. Su che sono delle sorelle per se no per togliere la sua collera? Ma preoccupa neanche circa esso. Il due di noi, abbiamo bisogno di una distrazione, nonostante. Dovremmo.. Non so... rivede il Progetto?"
She rattled all this off very fast.
657 pumped a fist. "Excellent, you've been practicing!"
"Maven? KARA MAVEN!"
Kara was brought out of her reverie by her landlady's voice. She sighed.
"Your rent, generously miniscule as it is, is late! I have children to feed, you know!"
Kara rolled her eyes. Sneddon acted like she had an entire bright-eyed brood clinging at her skirts, when in fact her 'children' were a twenty-eight-year-old son (who spent all his time watching 'Ricci Lake' reruns in a darkened room) and a daughter, thirty-two (who perpetually dressed in leopard print and often mixed up such complex commands as HOT and COLD).
"Don't you roll your eyes at me! That baby might get you some liberties, Maven, but not here. If you don't have my money by Friday you're out on your behind!"
Kara laughed as Carlene stormed back inside. "Behind?" she called. "Why don't you just say ass, you DORK?"
Setting off for the cross town bus shelter, Kara was very glad of her Common Verbal Usage course, although it had taken her a long time to get it. ROCKS/ROCK had been a tough one- It's ROCKS for one thing, ROCK for many things, her brain automatically reminded her.
On the bus a young boy offered her his seat in a beautifully old-fashioned gesture, but Kara was too pent-up to appreciate it. "There's nothing WRONG with me!" she barked, making everyone jump.
The swaying motion of the rickety bus was doing nothing for her mood. There was a loud clank from the engine and Kara jumped a little.
"Got it?" asked 657 for the thousandth time, 'it' being her handgun. Kara, too excited to be irritated by this, nodded.
Both carried in concealed weapons as they snuck into the theatre. The agents, they knew, were a man and woman in their late thirties, and would be sitting together in the third row from the entrance. Luckily the film theatre was fairly deserted so they could not confuse the targets with anyone else.
Kara had never seen a fictional film before. She knew she wouldn't have any desire to either, after dragging herself through that ordeal. It was some terribly boring saga of a well-endowed Latina and an obnoxious, oblivious gorilla-man who seemed to take well over two hours to even hint at their utterly unrealistic ardour for one another.
One agent entered about fifteen minutes into the film, the other just as Latina Lady was preparing to cast herself off a cliff. Kara didn't have the time to feel immensely glad, her body was revving for battle.
A kind of gleam had entered 657's eyes, and she began to rise from her seat slowly, slowly, so slowly you could barely register that where she had sat she now stood straight, though with her knees bent a little as if about to jump.
Kara switched her own gun from one hand to the other, knowing quite well that she was right-handed. Some X5s, mostly the older ones, were ambidextrous for practical purposes. She was ready to cover her sister if necessary.
She cocked the gun suddenly, and just as Latina Lady onscreen let out a wild shriek she fired. With a BANG the female operative slumped forward in her seat.
From the other five or so people in the theatre came confused yells. The man turned in his seat, reached for his own gun. X5-657 was too fast for him, to fast for anyone. Before he had even fully registered who fired the gun, he was dead in the aisle.
And how hard and fast Kara had ran, as the two had fled the scene...
The house was biggish for a post-Pulse residence, and Kara rather liked the look of it. It was at least homier than the room she was renting. From outside she could smell good food and clean sheets, two smells she'd always liked.
She ruffled her lengthening hair, glanced in the metal setting of the doorbell, smoothed it down, inspected it again and fluffed it up again, preferring it that way.
Kara rang the doorbell.
A little boy with red hair, obviously her potential charge, answered it almost immediately. He inspected her. "You've got a big tummy," he observed.
"I hadn't noticed," said Kara dryly. "I suppose you haven't noticed your rather small amount of tact either, kid, hmm?"
He blinked in bewilderment and for once Kara decided this probably wasn't the best time for sarcasm.
"Where's your mom?"
"I'll get her," said the kid, scampering away. Kara stood very still, breathing steadily in and out.
"Mommy, there's a lady 'ere and she's silly, she said silly stuff and she's got a big tummy," she heard the boy babbling from the other end of the hallway.
"Jamie, you know that's not a nice thing to say. And I want-" The mother stopped as she reached the open door. Kara pasted a smile on her her face and extended a hand.
"Hello, my name is Kara Maven and I'm calling about the caretaking job for your little boy."
"Um, hi. I'm Rebecca Seymour and you've obviously already met Jamie. Wipe your feet as you come in."
Kara raised an eyebrow at her retreating back. Jamie, who was gawping at her, giggled. She smiled, glanced one more time at the metal settings of the doorbell and decided she probably looked more credible with neat hair, smoothing it down nervously as she entered.
She had to go through a great deal of third degree, transforming her sordid life into a mass of half-truths.
"... and what about when your baby is born? Will you be able to rely on relatives for help?"
Kara winced. "I'm an only child, my parents live in... Washington and his father and I are separated."
"Oh, really?"
Yep, the cold, narcissistic bastard and I have been 'separated' eons, Kara's sarcastic inner voice contributed. Asshole. I hope he's rotting in a ditch somewhere.
Of course, she wasn't bitter or anything. She was all for justice. That was exactly what he deserved.
Of course.
Half an hour later, Mrs Seymour rose from the kitchen table and shook hands with Kara. "I'll get in touch."
"You can reach me at Sneddon's Corner Store."
"Oh, do you work there?" asked Mrs Seymour, looking a little relieved.
"Nope, I live there. They let me live in the back room for twenty dollars a week," said Kara in what she hoped was a flippant tone.
"Oh."
"Mrs Seymour?"
"Yes, Kara?"
"Can- can I have something to eat, please? I'm very hungry."
She looked startled and finally nodded. "Anything in particular?"
Kara could name a million and one foods she would happily devour- all so different to her Manticore fare of high-energy stuff with the texture of cardboard and variety of bread, water and bread. She answered, "Anything filling."
Mrs Seymour went to her cupboard and pulled out various foodstuffs, gingerly laying them on the table. "Make yourself a couple of sandwiches," she said awkwardly.
Kara nodded gratefully and looked down at the food, a little daunted. She knew it didn't take a genius to make a sandwich, but she was much better at finding food when it was scarce than at preparing it when it was laid out in front of her. Nevertheless, a few minutes later she'd made three lopsided sandwiches and was given a bag for them.
She hated this. She hated charity. Stupid kid. Stupid breeding partner. Stupid Manticore.
But she had to try one last thing. As Mrs Seymour, a wide-eyed Jamie hiding behind her, ushered Kara through the front door, Kara abruptly turned and said loudly, "I really need this job, you know."
"Yes... I know. We'll be in touch, Kara."
As Mrs Seymour closed the door, Kara knew she wasn't going to get the job. She hadn't mentioned her plans for giving the baby up for adoption (partly for fear it would make her sound uncompassionate). In order to reassure herself, she stamped off, not sure where she was going, snarling Italian swearwords under her breath.
She ended up in a bare, asphalted excuse for a playground and collapsed onto a bench. Suck it up, soldier! barked the sarcastic part of her brain. You've no right to complain.
"I've got EVERY fucking right to complain!" she muttered, wringing her hands. She ate the sandwiches too quickly and still felt hollow inside.
No. Not hollow. Not with this alien thing Manticore had planted into her body. She couldn't have done it herself. She'd never have wished this on herself. It was unreal. She was a soldier!
It was getting harder and harder to hold onto that.
Kara couldn't face going back and facing Sneddon this way. She just sat there, watching kids throw a ball around and a small gaggle of girls in their early teens perched atop rusty play equipment, talking.
Hours went by and the shadows grew long. Girls began yawning and complaining for their dinners, paltry as they would definitely be, and jumped nimbly down, retrieving various brothers and sisters and trailing them home.
She thought back to better times- mostly to her missions abroad. After her mission in Italy she'd been in parts of Africa with a team of assorted Washington and Wyoming X5s, as well as a bigger group of X6s. She'd been fifteen years old by this time, and had turned sixteen upon her return. Neither 472 nor 418 had been part of the Africa team and Kara had, against all her better judgement, pined for them with all her heart. Still, there was no better feeling than catching their eyes as the weary deployment made their triumphant return. It was autumn and the whole of the forest was golden and orange, when Kara had returned.
X5-472 had looked so happy. She'd given him the smallest of winks and a very slow, very surreptitious thumbs-up. He'd thumped 418 on the shoulder and pointed, and both had returned the gesture as they'd all been hurried across the quad towards their respective blocks for a well-earned rest. Before she'd been whisked into Block Sixteen she'd just had the time to mouth GOOD TO BE BACK at them before snapping to attention.
Probably the highlight of Matt's teenage years, smirked the sarcastic part of her brain, and while she did not appreciate the dig at her brother she liked referring to him that way. Somehow Matt Liosis sounded so much more warm than 332231418472.
She hadn't a clue about 418, but Kara missed him a lot. Possibly even more than Matt, which was insane because she and Matt had been together since their nursery days. But because she was the oldest of the ones born in 2000, she was moved into the barracks first. 418 had warmed to her immediately and 657 had sort of taken Kara under her wing. Then the others had come, in ones and twos, over a series of months, and they became a little trio. 418, 767 and 472. That was how it was meant to be.
Kara rose from the bench at dawn and left silently. And half an hour later there she was, staking out the front entrance of the downtown medical centre.
"I gotta see someone," she muttered to the secretary as soon as the doors opened. She tried to look this woman in the face and was given a look of contempt.
"We usually need you to make an appointment, dear," she said, and Kara mentally added that to the list of terms of endearment she'd never, ever call her unborn son in the, oh, ten minutes she'd see him.
Because REALLY. She wasn't quite THAT cold-hearted. She'd ask to hold the little brat a little while. Maybe she'd even name him, if she was feeling generous. Which Kara didn't suppose she would be after hours and hours in labour.
Kara felt irritated. "I live in the back room of a damn corner store, ma'am. I'm allowed to GET calls provided they don't extend over ten minutes, and never under any circumstances would my landlady actually consider letting me make an appointment. If I have to sit here all day until someone is ten seconds late for an appointment I don't care. I just need to speak with someone."
She wandered into a hard little seat, tapping her feet continually on the floor as the waiting room filled up and until the secretary poked her gingerly on the shoulder. "You'll be seen now. Go down the corridor to the fifth room on the left."
The doctor's name was Hereward, but Kara instinctively nicknamed her the Good Doctor. This had been her joke with 418, because most of the doctors at Manticore were anything but good.
Of course they were TALENTED. They were the best of the best of the best. But she distinctly remembered jokey conversations with X5-418.
"767, how goes it?"
"Well, the Good Doctors Jekyll, Moriarty and Frankenstein broke my wrist and elbow. For research purposes, of course."
"Of course."
"Technically speaking, I shouldn't even be back on the field. I haven't entirely regained function in my elbow."
"I gathered that when I saw that you're holding it at a weird angle. How will you go on the shooting range like that?"
"Well, the Good Doctors said I should have proper function in about two days, but those little hypochondriacs the X6s have the antibodies in their blood malfunctioning, and the whole damn infirmary is full."
"We are lucky, though, aren't we?" That was the bit that would cause both of them to dissolve into cynical laughter.
"Miss Maven? Miss Maven, are you all right?"
Kara snapped back into the present. "Fine. Just fine."
The Good Doctor fixed her with a questioning gaze and sat down at the desk with a file. The whole room seemed to be a filing cabinet masquerading as a surgery- all the walls were shelves overflowing with files and papers.
"Are you here for anything specific?"
Kara strived to eliminate any intimidating facial expressions from her countenance. "I was wanting information on adoption. I'm not in a position to raise a child and probably never will be."
Hereward blinked and said finally, "You'll get better information from Social Services, Kara."
"Just tell me what you know," said Kara in a begging tone.
"In this day and age it can be difficult to find people willing to adopt. Basically, Miss Maven, you will lose your rights as a legal parent. You will not be allowed contact with your baby until it reaches-"
"He," corrected Kara loudly. "It's a boy. I've got a feeling, doctor."
"- HE reaches the age of eighteen, in which case you should be prepared for the fact that your son might not want contact with you. Tell me, does the father know you're pregnant?"
Kara considered this. Even though her breeding partner was undoubtedly a traitorous bastard, she was prepared to admit that he probably hadn't known she was pregnant.
Not that that would have influenced his decision in any way.
"No."
"Do you have contact? The father's consent is needed for this."
"I don't know where he is," Kara said.
The Good Doctor looked at her strangely. "Why did you have a child with him?"
Kara shrugged, but when she spoke it was dully, without emotion. "It was necessary."
Sympathetically, the Good Doctor Hereward said, "Did you agree to sex, Miss Maven?"
Agree? Ha. What did she know? Stupid woman. It was a mission.
"I guess. It was necessary."
The Good Doctor began to talk, writing down some telephone numbers and pushing them toward her, and when she finally gave Kara leave to go. Kara swept her hair unconcernedly over one shoulder and heard the Good Doctor make a small shocked noise.
Kara froze. "What?" said Kara. When Dr Hereward said nothing she turned around. "WHAT?"
"You've got a barcode," said the doctor faintly.
Kara swore silently inside her head. Her jacket collar was crooked, the left side up, the right side sticking out at a weird angle.
She gave the doctor a look of fierce contempt. "Shit, really? I'd never noticed."
Kara left as quickly as transgenic-ly possible, slamming the door hard behind her. Plaster fell from the ceiling like snow for a few seconds and Kara broke into an awkward jog over the cord carpeting and out into the street.
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN THEY SAW IT THEY SAW YOUR BARCODE AND NOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN- Kara's instinctive voice screamed at her.
She skidded to a halt at the pavement, nearly going straight onto the road. Sirens were filling the air.
Dear God, not again. Tabloids calling her a 'bloodthirsty freak of modern science' were bad enough, but-
But nothing, interrupted her sarcastic inner voice. What are you bitching about? You ARE bloodthirsty, Kara Maven, you used to take immense pride in that fact. And you ARE also a freak, at least out here, so-
But forget it. She had to make a run for it.
* * *
DISCLAIMER: 'Dark Angel' belongs to Fox and James Cameron. All the songs on the soundtrack belong to their respective owners. Not me. So don't sue.
NOTE: Just something before I launch into a long haul that you'd do well to skip- I find it between funny and tragic (I find a lot of things between funny and tragic) that the X-series probably would have known the words 'infirmary' or 'shotgun' before they had a clue of the words 'hug' or 'miss' (as in "I miss him." rather than "Your attack right there was missing something. You will be dragged into Psy-Ops immediately!")
Sorry about the silly flashbacks. As you've probably guessed, flashbacks were one of my favourite parts of DA (making 'Boo' a good episode for me- "What the hell was that?" "Flashback. Happens all the time."). And I really like delving into Kara's past and having my own weirdo version of Manticore to fiddle around with.
And sorry about the pointlessness of this chapter. I'm hoping to have the story really begin to move in the Chapter Five.
Kara's long string of Italian means approximately, "Hey, soldier, come on. What are sisters for if not for taking out your anger on? But don't even worry about it. The two of us, we need a distraction, though. We should... I don't know... revise the Plan?"
And just remember- I have never been to any of the places so far specified in the story (well, except Italy), so I'm sorry if there are geographical errors. Let me know and I'll correct them..
I've been thinking about Kara, and I've been wondering a lot about how to describe her looks. Of course Kara would have looked like Jenna Marie Gooch (who I am eternally grateful to for portraying Eva for those few seconds), but seeing as Jenna Marie Gooch has only ever reportedly been seen on TV as Eva, and even then only for a few seconds, that doesn't give me heaps and heaps to go on. Personally I think Kara would look a bit like Sarah Jane Morris, who's famous (sort of) for playing Ralph in 'Bag 'Em'. Has anyone ever considered the fact that Eva (in the two seconds she was seen) and Ralph look a little alike? I think they've got the same nose and colouring (although it's hard to tell- the lighting in Eva's death scene was FREAKY). She looks very Kara-like in some 'Bag 'Em' caps I've seen, and in one glorious image she has a tiny hint of Kara's oh-so-intimidating Smirk.
Maybe Adult!Kara's got a tiny dash of Lorin Heath (CeCe from 'Freak Nation') thrown in for good measure- the body type, for example. Her hair is also that length when she leaves Manticore. It's very nice to have two actresses from the same show to compare Eva/Kara with, but it's absolute hell trying to find any pictures of them in other roles. So basically most of what you'll get about Kara is that she's tall, with nice cheekbones, scarily blue eyes, short-ish blonde hair and a really tiny birthmark on her right pointer finger that sort of resembles a crawling baby if you really use your imagination.
And yes, I do realise I'm obsessed.
(The birthmark MIGHT become a minor plot point in later chapters, you know)
Now that I have your attention (ha), thanks to the three or so people who've reviewed so far. You're all absolutely brilliant.
SONGS FOR CHAPTER FOUR:
The Italy Flashbacks- 'All The Things She Said' by Tatu
