Chapter 11: The Adventures of a Delightfully Mindless Setsuna Meioh

We all know that Setsuna Meioh, alias Trista, alias the Guardian of Time, alias Sailor Pluto, alias Puu, alias Hot Sexy Chick #9, was a very sophisticated lady with the decorum of a queen and the loveliness of a goddess. We all know that she stood watch over the gates of Time, using her Pluto planet power to aid her in her eternal vigil. We also know that sometimes she's portrayed as love-starved, and the object of her affections is almost certainly either poor loveable Mamoru, poor loveable Minako, poor loveable Hotaru (which is just plain wrong), poor loveable Rei (which it was in the original story), or if you want to make things fun, poor loveable Prince Diamond.

But what if there was a nasty aftereffect from being the guardian of time? What if the elegant Setsuna had her brains scrambled a little bit more each time she traveled between the dimensions? What if her brains became so terribly scrambled that she started acting completely out of character? And what if the author of this story declared her his baby-doll, since she'd be one of those loveable ditzy characters you find in every single anime?

Well, I don't want to sit here typing forever, so I'll go and find out!

ZING!

Setsuna Meioh suddenly teleported from out of nowhere, a brief flash of light having preceded her appearance. As soon as she was aware that she was no longer teleporting, her eyes widened and her hand went to her mouth in surprise.

"Huh, what? Where am I? What is this place? Wow, that was a very strange trip! I wonder where Miroku and Shippo went!" With her questions piling up and her confusion growing larger, Setsuna began walking into a random direction, her eyes looking everywhere for a sign of familiarity. She suddenly spotted a pretty bluebird, and grinned childishly as it floated by. Forgetting everything about her whereabouts, she followed the bird and laughed merrily as it flew overhead.

Setsuna followed the bird until she found some colors in the sky, and stared straight up at them all in awe. There were a trillion rainbows in the air, swirling around beautifully to obliterate the darkness and shades of gray. The trees sang as they floated through the air, wilting and belting out tunes of sorrow and happiness. Dogs yipped across the street, riding atop a bus that was slowly melting into wax. And then there was a coconut that sailed cross the sky until it burst open, and became a fireworks display of mayonnaise.

Setsuna got burned by the delicious cream of guilt, turning her skin to a golden brown, waiting to be eaten by a gigantic nun. When her wand twirled around the air, it created a whirlpool where strawberries got sucked into it and where people kicked geese all the hours of the day.

The Roman Coliseum crumbled.

Setuna sailed across endless fields of grass, smiling and singing and FLYING along with the songs playing inside of her endless head. Doubts and terrors were devoured by her pink tongue, along with the endless streets and highways of numbing mindless yodels. She jumped. Setsuna was flying in the air in no time at all, allowing her sleek body to be bathed in the color of rainbows that had crowded across the air. More dogs barked, and the great artist used his brush to paint a daffodil. Meow.

Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna, Setsuna.

Flapping her arms, Setsuna flew through the peach trees like an eagle, and grew feathers and wings, and became a bird, and vanished into the air forever.

I can stay?

Sailor Pluto smiled broadly, sauntering along on her usual shuffling speed, smiling at the pretty birds and flowers as she walked towards Rei's Cherry Hill Temple. There was a dark-haired priestess of great beauty that had captured her heart, or so she last believed, but poor Setsuna forgot it all as she raced slowly up the hill and stairs, towards the model Japanese locality. Ravens and doves flew in a checkered jumble over her head, and a river made out of water, fish, and stones trickled happily at her feet.

Then the dreams began again.

Setsuna was in the endless field of pink flowers, where even the grass was pink. It went on for eternity, and the clouds were also hovering over her head. The sun smiled and gave her a happy wave, and she replied back by swinging her key of Time in the air like it were a spear. Rivers of soda fell upwards, creating bubbles that frothed and carried people into Heaven. Dancers sat perfectly still in the pink grass, their backs on the earth and their bodies facing the Sky.

Setsuna began to fly.

She came across a large stop sign, and a free bowl of hot tomato soup awaited her consumption. She drank it and it was good. Refreshed, Setsuna passed by the sign, coming across a highway and a rabbit, which spoke to her gently. She was going to be late for the train, he said, and since she didn't want that, Setsuna brought a towel.

The zebra gave her the ticket, and told her to get rid of any fleas that were on her glove. There were none. Setsuna boarded the magical train, which whirred to life and began to float in the air, until it became a sea of foamy bubbles and exploded with a watery splash. A flock of ducks broke her fall, and they gave her smiles as they carried her towards the house of Rei, whom she was visiting.

Endless, endless, endless, endless, endless.

Endless.

Endless…

"Oh, hello Setsuna!" exclaimed Rei, who had not expected to see the drop-dead sexy guardian of time. Setsuna's cute face widened in astonishment.

"Oh! Rei! What am I doing at your house?!"

"What do you mean?" asked the soldier of fire. "Didn't you come here on purpose?"

"……I don't think I did…" murmured Setsuna, placing a finger on her lips cutely. She stared up at the ceiling, and noticed that a ladybug had been clinging to the top the whole time. A Dream almost came to mind, but Usagi (who had remained from the previous chapter, despite getting choked almost 8 times) broke her limited concentration.

"Uhhh, Setsuna?"

"Huh, huh? What, huh? What's going on?"

"You came here for something!" exclaimed the blonde. Setsuna gave her another one of those adorably cute clueless looks that she had.

"Oh, I did? Wow, no way! I don't remember doing that! Maybe if my memory's jogged, I'll think of why I came here!" The sweet guardian of time sat down on a chair, laying her hands at her side and staring mindlessly at the wall. She still had a cute smile on her face, and a dream came to her ruby eyes.

Men in suits.

"Setsuna?" said Usagi, staring into the older woman's eyes. "Are you okay? You're acting… well… out of character…"

"It's best not to ask…" whispered she. Usagi gave Setsuna a confused face, and slowly--very slowly--the Moon Princess stepped away.

"…Uhhh…"

"Why don't we play a game while we're waiting?" chirped Setsuna happily, her bright face becoming brighter still. Now, even Rei was scratching her head.

"S… sure thing, Setty! Now, what is it that you wanted to play?"

A pause. Apples being thrown by Grendel, towards the cowardly hero who hates him so…

"Huh? What? Whaaa? What's going on?!"

"I asked you what kind of game you wanted to play!" exclaimed Rei, who was rather surprised to hear that Setsuna, Guardian of Time, wanted to play a game.

"Oh, did I want to play a game?" wondered dear sweet Puu, her face looking as cute and confused as ever. A gigantic vein of aggravation grew on Rei's forehead.

"Setsuna…!"

"Oh!!!" exclaimed the guardian suddenly, just before Rei could blow her top. "I remember why I came here! I wanted to tell you that in a few day's time, perhaps after Al Kristopher inserts a few more really weird chapters, we're going to destroy Thrinakie!"

"And that is…?"

"He's the crusty old villain who talks like Dr. Strangelove," murmured Usagi in an aside. Rei slowly nodded her head.

"'The benefits of reading the original story', eh?"

"Mm-hm. Anyway, thanks for the, uh, info, Setsuna. How can we repay you?" Setsuna, however, was smiling as blissfully and obliviously as ever. She was already lost in another one of her wonderful daydreams.

She was on the road. She rode a small yellow bus. All of her friends were there. They were dressed in wild and colorful clothes, and all their hair was long and untamed. Usagi was wearing purple sunglasses, and she had a completely white ensemble, from coat to undershirt and even pants and shoes. She played backup guitar and vocals.

Rei was wearing a business suit, but had no shoes to cover her soul. She had been playing a piano, and was also writing the songs for the long journey. Ami was on lead guitar, as the quiet one, and though she wrote few songs, they were all magical and beautiful and full of the brilliance that only she contained. She wore blue jeans and a jean-jacket, and her hair was very long and shaggy.

Makoto wore the same as Rei, except her suit was unbuttoned, and she had shoes on. She also had a drum set, and sang in a powerful voice, when she was given the chance. Minako was acting as backup singer to Rei and Usagi, and she was totally dressed in tie-dye. Her long hair was like a rainbow to behold.

The whole group was on the bus, on the road, writing songs and weaving magic. They awaited their destiny with singing and watched as the sun sank below the distant horizon and spells were being cast over the world. They flew.