If you think I was tripping out in the previous chapter, you haven't seen anything yet!

Chapter 12: Bed Action

Please note, dear reader, that I am probably skipping more than I should.

I can't remember ALL of this story, but I'm getting the gist of it.

(enter angst)

(enter bloody fights)

(enter more angst)

(enter even more bloody fights)

(enter a sliver of one-sided "romance")

(angst, angst, angst, angst. Jeez, Rei! Get a hobby!)

(enter lots of blood, most of it being caused by Rei on PMS)

(more blood)

(and more)

You get the idea. That's basically it. Now let's all give Kirika a big hug!!!

I don't mean the petite young lady from Noir, though I don't blame anybody if they want to give her a hug as well. Girls and guns, what more do you need?!

I meant Kirika-chan, the authoress of the original Absence. Without her, this would only be an extremely weird story. I don't usually write shoujo-ai either, with a few rare exceptions, so again, this would be strange.

Not that it hasn't crossed that line long before. Now it's just a question of how low I can really sink.

I don't think anybody wants to know the answer to that question, especially Kirry-chan.

*gives Kirika a hug*

There, I did it! Whoopee!

Anyway, the girls do a lot of crap in between the time where Rei flirts with Usagi and where they all go kill that Thrinakie dude, blah-blah-blah. I forgot every single bit of that odd period, so I'm just going to summarize.

(angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(romance)

(more blood)

(more angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(blood)

(angst)

(blood)

(pies)

(blood)

(blood)

(angst)

(angst)

(Mamoru bashing)

There, I think that covers it. And now, we tune in to Rei and Usagi, who are expressing their feelings about the coming battle. Unless I don't know better, I'd say that they have some talking to do before the big fight. Check out the title of this chapter, and you'll see what else they do in here!

--------------------

Usagi: i am worried Rei.

Rei: Sh, dont be, ill make it all better.

*they have sex*

Usagi: mmm, that was nice, Rei! i luv U

Rei: I luv U2

Usagi: The band?

Rei: No dummy, I mean, I love you as well *styx tongue out*

Usagi: *bites tongue*

Rei: Feisty!!

But that's a bit undignified, isn't it? (Well, even for this format!) Maybe a little bit of elaboration…

"I don't feel… like this… is going to be a good situation…" murmured Usagi quietly. Rei merely held her, letting four frail fingers that had caused so much death and pain to dare comb through the beautiful seas of gold that were Usagi's twin tails of heavenly hair. Such loveliness and stark perfection needed not be soiled by such blood-stained hands…

"Usagi… you're such a wimp," joked Rei, trying to get her friend to cheer up--which was usually the opposite. Rei had spoken gently and lovingly, though, so it was not received as an insult. Even so, if it had, Usagi no longer minded. Rei loved her, and thus was a "True" guardian to her, in every aspect of the word…

(scene missing)

"You're so gorgeous…" whispered Usagi, staring up at the dark-haired angel above her. Rei, who had bared body, mind, and soul for the golden goddess beneath her, smiled sweetly.

"Not nearly as gorgeous as you, my princess…" she hissed in a whisper. Her face poured out with love, and Usagi quietly begged Rei to come, take her, absorb her, and love her--begged her with helpless eyes full of love. Rei could only comply, and drew her bare body towards the woman she loved. Slowly, the two young ladies--

WHOA!!!!!!

THAT'S TOO MUCH ELABORATION!!!!!!!!!!

…Maybe we can find a peaceful medium…

Rei and Usagi poured their hearts out to each other, and then they started to get intimate. They had some serious bed action going on after that!!! Then they fell asleep and woke up to a house full of people who had heard about their little "adventure".

Whoopsie-doodle.

Enjoy this little dose of unadulterated weirdness--you deserve it! But can things really sink any lower? Of course! Since they already made love, Rei and Usagi are now officially lesbian lovers! Yippee! But there is one force out there so powerful that it will be able to tear them apart--perhaps forever! This force is so strong that (gasp) not only will it make Rei "straight", but it also has the power to even revert good ol' Haruka and Michiru! Of course, I'm talking about none other than Billy Lee Black from Xenogears! Tune in next time to hear everyone's favorite bishonen priest say, "Help, Jerry Springer, I have too many girlfriends!" and we'll also hear Billy's crusty old drunk gunslinger of a father say, "Hey big man, lemme hold a dollar!"