Chapter 13: Kosplaing Krossover Khaos!

…KKK? That's not good… *weak laughter…*

Anyway, the Sailor Senshi were all enjoying a rather lovely day, when all of a sudden, a portal to another reality opened and Billy Lee Black from Xenogears appeared out of nowhere!

"Oof!" he exclaimed as he struck the ground. "How did I get over here?"

"This should not be!" exclaimed Setsuna, who also came out of nowhere to provide feedback for the confused readers. "Didn't Laodameia and Aiaia seal off the vortexes that allowed for characters from another world to cross over with ours?"

"She did indeed," said the author of this story (not Kirika, Al Kristopher). "But the thing about writing stories is that the author is ALL-POWERFUL! Bwahahahahahaha! Yes, I wield all power in this story, and can easily ignore the laws of common sense and physics! Billy's appearance here is because Al Kristopher COMMANDED it so!"

"Oh, okay, that makes sense," said Setsuna. She then smiled and got hearts in her eyes as she gazed at the ultra-bishonen Billy. The girl let out a squeal and dashed towards him, making Billy freak out as yet another fan girl obsessed over him.

"Aieeeeeee! N-no, stay away!" The poor priest ran from the screaming Setsuna for his life, but accidentally came across the lair of the other Sailor Senshi, who (for some stereotypically clichéd reason or another) were all hooked up in lesbian relationships with each other. However, as soon as bishie Billy made the scene, the girls all grew hearts in their eyes, sighed dreamily, and forgot about their girlfriends.

"AAAAHHHH, IT'S BILLY!!" Their collective squeal was deafening, and in no time at all, the senshi forgot their lesbian delusions and chased after poor Billy, intent on glomping, cuddling, squeezing, hugging, kissing, stripping, etc. him. The priest's freaked-out face exploded in horror, and he turned around once again to run from the stampeding girls.

"GET ME OUTTA THIS WORLD!!!!"

"But Billy, you're so beautiful!" exclaimed Makoto. "And you don't remind me of that jerk of a boyfriend I had!"

"Piss off, thunder goddess!" snarled Usagi. "Billy is MINE!"

"NOOO, HE'S MINE!!!" screamed Rei, who was formerly in love with Usagi. With Billy around, however, not even the moon princess stood a chance. The poor bishonen priest screamed in terror as the priestess leaped towards him, but all he could really do was brace.

GLOMP!!!!!

"Billy, Billy!" Rei squealed out the name of her new love as she rubbed her cheek against his, but Haruka shoved her aside as violently as possible before cutting in.

"BACK OFF! Billy rules! This boy is MINE, so don't even think about coming in between us!" The masculine woman looked into Billy's irresistible green eyes softly, holding his pale face in her hands as she beheld him. He returned her stare of love with amazement and alarm; Haruka quickly stole a kiss before Setsuna tackled her.

"Haruka, that's no fair! Everybody loves you! Why can't I have a nice boyfriend like Billy?"

"BECAUSE HE BELONGS TO ME!!"

"Ladies, please stop fighting!" shouted the poor young priest. "You should not be acting so violently towards each other! Surely there is some way that you can solve this, erm, issue?"

"The priest is right!" declared Minako as she grabbed hold of his arm. "The only way to settle this is to have a death-match! The winner keeps Billy to herself!"

"Or we could just hope that more vortexes open up and a few of Billy's friends pop out." The group paused to consider Ami's thought, but for the first time ever, it was shot down and rejected. The senshi honestly looked ready to literally fight each other over poor Billy, but luckily, Ami's wish suddenly came true! More portals opened up, and from the world of Xenogears came every bishonen ever made: Ramsus, Fei, Krelian, Citan, Bart, Sigurd, and Big Joe (that last one was a fluke).

"AIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" All the girls squealed in simultaneous glee as they spotted the army of bishies, and stampeded after them like cattle, nearly trampling poor Billy. Rei stayed behind, though, because she felt a strong spiritual connection with young Mr. Black. Her adoration was received much more warmly than the others'; Billy merely sighed with relief.

"Boy, what a day!" he exclaimed. Hearts appeared in Rei's eyes as she fawned over him.

"I'll say…"

Meanwhile…

"Dr. Citan Uzuki is mine!" screamed Ami, pulling on the talkative doctor's long ponytail.

"You can't have Citan, he's married!" shouted Haruka. She turned her sights to both Bart and Sigurd, grinning lustfully at the two one-eyed pirates. "But these two now, hehe…" She instantly glomped Bart two seconds before he let out a bloody scream; Sigurd began to perspire as Michiru hugged onto his neck.

"Fei-chan-kun is mine!" giggled Usagi, giving the hero of Xenogears a hug. Fei smiled weakly, but even with his strength, he could not pry the girl off.

"Yeah, but what about Elly?" wondered Minako, who had constricted herself around poor Krelian. "Aren't those two an item? They look cute together, Usagi!" The moon princess stuck out her tongue like a true mature lady, and kept on cuddling Fei. Minako shrugged and smiled, and gave a confused Krelian a peck on the cheek. Setsuna was holding onto Ramsus in a very sensual manner; the "worthless" Solarian commander whispered into her ear about a secret place where they could "talk". Setsuna's face lit up as his voice tickled her ear, and slipped away with the main group so she and Kahr could "talk". Hotaru didn't seem to really care about getting a boyfriend from Xenogears, since she was busy killing Chibi-Usa.

…Whaaaaaaaaat? Don't tell me you haven't wanted to do the job yourself!!

"Anyway," said Rei as she and Billy joined the others, "we should really go after Thrinakie."

"Yes," said Makoto.

"He needs to be killed faster so the story flows better," added Michiru. "I vote that we go after him once we all have hot steamy intimacy with our chosen Xenogears love."

"Yippiee!!" squealed every girl in the vicinity. And there was much rejoicing.

Three hours later…

"That was fun!" exclaimed Minako, giving Krelian a hug. Usagi let out a sigh.

"Fei broke up with me… He said he wanted to see Elly…"

"Citan did to, except with his wife Yui," moaned poor Ami.

"Don't give me the chance to say 'I told you so', because I will!" pointed a very happy Minako. "There are some pairings that people shouldn't screw with!"

"Yes," said Makoto. And that was the end of the chapter.