"MacDestro" Chapter 2
By: Cadet Deming
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed or eliminated for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Thanks to the people that are enjoying it. Reviews are very welcome.
Author's note: I am mixing modernized humor with the tragedy of the original play, so hopefully that will offend no Shakespeare purists. Only instead of drunken porters or witches bragging about tormenting sailors for comic relief, there's....you'll see.
Setting: Scotland
Starring:
Destro................Macbeth
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth
Serpentor............. King Duncan
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo
Billy..................Fleance
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor
Zartan................MacDuff
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters
Tomax/Xamot ..............Lennox
Cobra Commander............Malcolm
Three scruffy-looking men sat around a campfire on a heath by the side of a road. They were covered in mud, and were drinking bottles of "Uncle Winkins' Hard Grape Soda" like it was water.
"So anyway, I was in this motel room, and I was shaggin' these two lesbians," said a man with a reddish beard.
"But Torch, if they were lesbians, wot were they doin' in bed wit you mate," asked a man with a black beard.
"Because Ripper, Torch is wot makes women think they're lesbians in tha' first place," sneered the man with a long greasy blonde ponytail.
"Shove it up yer arse Buzzer. I really did have a manage-er-minaj-er wotever it's called with two girls at once!"
"You kin barely get 1 girl to shag you," said Buzzer.
"That ain't true. Plenty 'o' girls ask me 'Hey baby, lookin fer a date'. And by the side 'o' the street too. Actually, these two girls were 'ookers. And they kinda charged me extra for everythin'. And they seemed to like havin' sex with each other more than they did with me. It kinda hurt me feelins. That and they stole me wallet. Except it wasn't really me wallet, it was one I picked offa some tourist earlier. So I guess it wadn't a total loss."
"Torch, the next time we sit around tellin' stories about our 'prowess', JUST DON'T TALK," said Buzzer.
At that moment, a Cobra tank pulled over 50 feet away from the camp. The hatch opened, and two men climbed down from it.
The first man was dressed head-to-toe in white. He was short, but moved quickly and had a powerful build. Of Asian descent, he covered the lower half of his face with a mask. The effect made him seem all the more mysterious.
His companion on the other hand, covered his entire head with a berylium steel faceplate. It was silver in color, but the flames from the campfire reflected on it in patterns of red and gold.
The three men stopped slouching and stood at attention as the two newcomers strode towards them.
"What is this sheer idiocy? By lighting a fire here, you Drednoks may as well be painting a target on yourselves for enemy fire. Storm- shadow and I could spot you on infrared 10 miles away," said the man in the steel mask with anger. His voice was deep, and had a touch of a Scottish lilt in it.
"But Destro, ya did such a great job on those Joes today, we ain't gotta worry about 'im no more. In fact, we were just talkin' about wot a great leader ya are," said Buzzer.
"We we're?" asked Torch, scratching his head quizzically.
Ripper kicked him.
"Oh, yeah, we we're," Torch said, nodding his head until he snapped a muscle and had to grab his own neck in pain.
"Yeah Destro, we were just talkin' about how yer the greatest leader Cobra's ever seen. In fact, yer even better than Serpentor or Cobra Commander, not that that's hard. If you were Cobra's Field Marshall, we'd a beat those Joes 20 years ago," oozed Buzzer.
"Yeah mate, maybe someday you'll be Cobra's Field Marshall, or even Emperor. It's yer destiny," said Ripper.
Storm-Shadow crossed his arms and said: "If you mercenary Drednoks did not have the excuse of your ignorance, I would kill you where you stand with my Arashikage Ninja Kung-Fu death grip for your dishonor of your masters."
"Aw. Come off it Storm-Shadow. You Ninja-types act like yer takin over Cobra yerselves, but yer just the 'ired 'elp. Yer student Billy, now HE could rule Cobra, but that's only 'cause Cobra Commander is 'is father," said Buzzer.
Although Storm-Shadow's face was partially covered, the anger on it was fully exposed by the fury that flashed in his dark eyes. His right hand went to the hilt of the Kitana blade he always carried, but Destro stopped him.
"At ease my friend. These low-lifes aren't worth the effort. They're just full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Let's get back to the tank. My wife Baroness Anastasia is expecting us back at my castle." The two comrades walked back to the Cobra vehicle.
In the background, Ripper could be heard saying, "So I was in bed with this Sports Illustrated Victoria's Secret Swimsuit Push-Up Bra Model...."
Destro and Storm-shadow closed the tank hatch and took off down the road. They traveled for a few miles when an AV screen in the driving area started to beep.
"I see we've re-established tele-communications. This is Destro. Speak," said the silver-masked man as some soldiers' faces flashed across the console.
"Lord Destro, we've been trying to contact you for hours. Major Bludd turned traitor and Serpentor has promoted you to take his place effectively, immediately. You're Cobra's new Field Marshall," said one of the men.
"Why thank you. Thank Serpentor for the recognition. Roger out," Destro said as the screen changed back to black.
"I hear the sound of hell freezing over. The Drednoks were actually right about something. Their prediction came true," said Storm-Shadow.
"If they were correct about the Field Marshall position, could they also be correct about me commanding all of Cobra? HMMM. Destiny."
As Destro navigated the tank he barely concentrated on the road. All he could see was power.
By: Cadet Deming
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed or eliminated for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Thanks to the people that are enjoying it. Reviews are very welcome.
Author's note: I am mixing modernized humor with the tragedy of the original play, so hopefully that will offend no Shakespeare purists. Only instead of drunken porters or witches bragging about tormenting sailors for comic relief, there's....you'll see.
Setting: Scotland
Starring:
Destro................Macbeth
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth
Serpentor............. King Duncan
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo
Billy..................Fleance
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor
Zartan................MacDuff
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters
Tomax/Xamot ..............Lennox
Cobra Commander............Malcolm
Three scruffy-looking men sat around a campfire on a heath by the side of a road. They were covered in mud, and were drinking bottles of "Uncle Winkins' Hard Grape Soda" like it was water.
"So anyway, I was in this motel room, and I was shaggin' these two lesbians," said a man with a reddish beard.
"But Torch, if they were lesbians, wot were they doin' in bed wit you mate," asked a man with a black beard.
"Because Ripper, Torch is wot makes women think they're lesbians in tha' first place," sneered the man with a long greasy blonde ponytail.
"Shove it up yer arse Buzzer. I really did have a manage-er-minaj-er wotever it's called with two girls at once!"
"You kin barely get 1 girl to shag you," said Buzzer.
"That ain't true. Plenty 'o' girls ask me 'Hey baby, lookin fer a date'. And by the side 'o' the street too. Actually, these two girls were 'ookers. And they kinda charged me extra for everythin'. And they seemed to like havin' sex with each other more than they did with me. It kinda hurt me feelins. That and they stole me wallet. Except it wasn't really me wallet, it was one I picked offa some tourist earlier. So I guess it wadn't a total loss."
"Torch, the next time we sit around tellin' stories about our 'prowess', JUST DON'T TALK," said Buzzer.
At that moment, a Cobra tank pulled over 50 feet away from the camp. The hatch opened, and two men climbed down from it.
The first man was dressed head-to-toe in white. He was short, but moved quickly and had a powerful build. Of Asian descent, he covered the lower half of his face with a mask. The effect made him seem all the more mysterious.
His companion on the other hand, covered his entire head with a berylium steel faceplate. It was silver in color, but the flames from the campfire reflected on it in patterns of red and gold.
The three men stopped slouching and stood at attention as the two newcomers strode towards them.
"What is this sheer idiocy? By lighting a fire here, you Drednoks may as well be painting a target on yourselves for enemy fire. Storm- shadow and I could spot you on infrared 10 miles away," said the man in the steel mask with anger. His voice was deep, and had a touch of a Scottish lilt in it.
"But Destro, ya did such a great job on those Joes today, we ain't gotta worry about 'im no more. In fact, we were just talkin' about wot a great leader ya are," said Buzzer.
"We we're?" asked Torch, scratching his head quizzically.
Ripper kicked him.
"Oh, yeah, we we're," Torch said, nodding his head until he snapped a muscle and had to grab his own neck in pain.
"Yeah Destro, we were just talkin' about how yer the greatest leader Cobra's ever seen. In fact, yer even better than Serpentor or Cobra Commander, not that that's hard. If you were Cobra's Field Marshall, we'd a beat those Joes 20 years ago," oozed Buzzer.
"Yeah mate, maybe someday you'll be Cobra's Field Marshall, or even Emperor. It's yer destiny," said Ripper.
Storm-Shadow crossed his arms and said: "If you mercenary Drednoks did not have the excuse of your ignorance, I would kill you where you stand with my Arashikage Ninja Kung-Fu death grip for your dishonor of your masters."
"Aw. Come off it Storm-Shadow. You Ninja-types act like yer takin over Cobra yerselves, but yer just the 'ired 'elp. Yer student Billy, now HE could rule Cobra, but that's only 'cause Cobra Commander is 'is father," said Buzzer.
Although Storm-Shadow's face was partially covered, the anger on it was fully exposed by the fury that flashed in his dark eyes. His right hand went to the hilt of the Kitana blade he always carried, but Destro stopped him.
"At ease my friend. These low-lifes aren't worth the effort. They're just full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Let's get back to the tank. My wife Baroness Anastasia is expecting us back at my castle." The two comrades walked back to the Cobra vehicle.
In the background, Ripper could be heard saying, "So I was in bed with this Sports Illustrated Victoria's Secret Swimsuit Push-Up Bra Model...."
Destro and Storm-shadow closed the tank hatch and took off down the road. They traveled for a few miles when an AV screen in the driving area started to beep.
"I see we've re-established tele-communications. This is Destro. Speak," said the silver-masked man as some soldiers' faces flashed across the console.
"Lord Destro, we've been trying to contact you for hours. Major Bludd turned traitor and Serpentor has promoted you to take his place effectively, immediately. You're Cobra's new Field Marshall," said one of the men.
"Why thank you. Thank Serpentor for the recognition. Roger out," Destro said as the screen changed back to black.
"I hear the sound of hell freezing over. The Drednoks were actually right about something. Their prediction came true," said Storm-Shadow.
"If they were correct about the Field Marshall position, could they also be correct about me commanding all of Cobra? HMMM. Destiny."
As Destro navigated the tank he barely concentrated on the road. All he could see was power.
