"MacDestro" Chapter 3
By: Cadet Deming
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed or eliminated for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Thanks to the people that are enjoying it. Reviews are very welcome.
Author's note: I am mixing modernized humor with the tragedy of the original play, so hopefully that will offend no Shakespeare purists. Only instead of drunken porters or witches bragging about tormenting sailors for comic relief, there's....you'll see.
Setting: Scotland
Starring:
Destro................Macbeth
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth
Serpentor............. King Duncan
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo
Billy..................Fleance
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor
Zartan................MacDuff
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters
Tomax/Xamot ..............Lennox
Cobra Commander............Malcolm
A tall, striking woman with black hair and glasses sat down at a dark oak desk. She wore a skin-tight leather uniform with a Crimson Cobra emblem across the front. In one hand she held a glass of sparkling champagne. In the other she held a communications link, which she clicked to: "Play Messages."
A mechanical recorded voice stated: "Hello. You have 3 new messages."
BEEP:
"Hello Baroness Anastasia DeCobray. It's Doctor Hoefflin-Hundtkinder of the Bern Institute in Switzerland. I'm calling to follow up and see that your latest surgery is healing correctly."
Anastasia ran one short but impeccably manicured blood-red fingernail against a tiny scar behind her hairline.
She said: "Yes the facelift is fine. I look 10 years younger. Even if I feel 20 years older."
BEEP:
"Hello. It's Destro. You may have received the good news already. I was promoted to Field Marshall as Major Bludd turned traitor. I always knew that mercenary pirate-wannabe had no loyalty. Anyway, I have more interesting news. I ran into the Drednoks, and they actually predicted I'd be made Field Marshall beforehand. Odd. Anyhow, I should be back at the castle in a few more hours."
BEEP:
"Baroness, this is Serpentor. Since I'm in the area, my entourage and I will be staying in your castle tonight. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. I want maid service, fresh linens, Godiva chocolates on my pillow, and checkout the moment I get out of bed. But I don't want those strange triangles folded into my toilet paper. That's just -------disturbing. And there better not be any giant spiders or mutant demons in your basement again. Can't you people have normal pets? Oh, by the way, your husband got promoted and Cobra Commander is back as second-in-command. But enough about other people, let me tell you about MY MILITARY EXPLOITS!"
The Baroness clicked the communications link to "Silent".
"What does he think my castle is, the Plaza Hotel? If Destro ruled Cobra I wouldn't have to put up with this crap."
At that moment, the door to the bedroom opened and Destro entered.
"Destro DAAAAAAAAHHHHLIIIINNNNNNNG! Congratulations!" she said, as she stood up and hugged him, while still strategically balancing her glass of champagne.
The two of them kissed briefly and pulled away.
Destro frowned at the champagne in the Baroness's hand and said: "You know, I don't want to sound confrontational, but it does seem like you've been drinking a bit much these days. I'm concerned about your health."
"You're right. Perhaps I've been too dependent on alcohol to calm my nerves lately. I should switch to Quaaludes. They're much less fattening."
"Speaking of needing ones nerves calmed, did you hear that Serpentor and the rest of the Cobra High Command will be staying here tonight?"
"Yes. I got a message about it. You know, this could be the opportunity for you to take control of Cobra once and for all. If Serpentor never wakes up tomorrow....."
"Are you proposing I murder the Emperor in my own ancestral home? I could never do such a thing!"
"This isn't your infamous on-again, off-again sense of honor kicking in again?"
"Of course not. I'm just worried about getting caught. I'd be the prime suspect."
"I think I can shift the blame elsewhere. When our test-tube terrorist tyrant and his hangers-on arrive, be as gracious and boot-licking a host as possible. And leave the rest to me Destro. Leave the rest to me."
By: Cadet Deming
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed or eliminated for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Thanks to the people that are enjoying it. Reviews are very welcome.
Author's note: I am mixing modernized humor with the tragedy of the original play, so hopefully that will offend no Shakespeare purists. Only instead of drunken porters or witches bragging about tormenting sailors for comic relief, there's....you'll see.
Setting: Scotland
Starring:
Destro................Macbeth
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth
Serpentor............. King Duncan
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo
Billy..................Fleance
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor
Zartan................MacDuff
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters
Tomax/Xamot ..............Lennox
Cobra Commander............Malcolm
A tall, striking woman with black hair and glasses sat down at a dark oak desk. She wore a skin-tight leather uniform with a Crimson Cobra emblem across the front. In one hand she held a glass of sparkling champagne. In the other she held a communications link, which she clicked to: "Play Messages."
A mechanical recorded voice stated: "Hello. You have 3 new messages."
BEEP:
"Hello Baroness Anastasia DeCobray. It's Doctor Hoefflin-Hundtkinder of the Bern Institute in Switzerland. I'm calling to follow up and see that your latest surgery is healing correctly."
Anastasia ran one short but impeccably manicured blood-red fingernail against a tiny scar behind her hairline.
She said: "Yes the facelift is fine. I look 10 years younger. Even if I feel 20 years older."
BEEP:
"Hello. It's Destro. You may have received the good news already. I was promoted to Field Marshall as Major Bludd turned traitor. I always knew that mercenary pirate-wannabe had no loyalty. Anyway, I have more interesting news. I ran into the Drednoks, and they actually predicted I'd be made Field Marshall beforehand. Odd. Anyhow, I should be back at the castle in a few more hours."
BEEP:
"Baroness, this is Serpentor. Since I'm in the area, my entourage and I will be staying in your castle tonight. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. I want maid service, fresh linens, Godiva chocolates on my pillow, and checkout the moment I get out of bed. But I don't want those strange triangles folded into my toilet paper. That's just -------disturbing. And there better not be any giant spiders or mutant demons in your basement again. Can't you people have normal pets? Oh, by the way, your husband got promoted and Cobra Commander is back as second-in-command. But enough about other people, let me tell you about MY MILITARY EXPLOITS!"
The Baroness clicked the communications link to "Silent".
"What does he think my castle is, the Plaza Hotel? If Destro ruled Cobra I wouldn't have to put up with this crap."
At that moment, the door to the bedroom opened and Destro entered.
"Destro DAAAAAAAAHHHHLIIIINNNNNNNG! Congratulations!" she said, as she stood up and hugged him, while still strategically balancing her glass of champagne.
The two of them kissed briefly and pulled away.
Destro frowned at the champagne in the Baroness's hand and said: "You know, I don't want to sound confrontational, but it does seem like you've been drinking a bit much these days. I'm concerned about your health."
"You're right. Perhaps I've been too dependent on alcohol to calm my nerves lately. I should switch to Quaaludes. They're much less fattening."
"Speaking of needing ones nerves calmed, did you hear that Serpentor and the rest of the Cobra High Command will be staying here tonight?"
"Yes. I got a message about it. You know, this could be the opportunity for you to take control of Cobra once and for all. If Serpentor never wakes up tomorrow....."
"Are you proposing I murder the Emperor in my own ancestral home? I could never do such a thing!"
"This isn't your infamous on-again, off-again sense of honor kicking in again?"
"Of course not. I'm just worried about getting caught. I'd be the prime suspect."
"I think I can shift the blame elsewhere. When our test-tube terrorist tyrant and his hangers-on arrive, be as gracious and boot-licking a host as possible. And leave the rest to me Destro. Leave the rest to me."
