"MacDestro" Chapter 5
By: Cadet Deming
It's back! I apologize for the long delay; I had writer's block on this one. But in deference to the Colton "Alternate Universe" nomination it got, I'm committed to finishing it. I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed for brevity, others fleshed out more. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder adult language and situations. Thanks to Slayne for beta-ing. Thanks to the good reviews before (and more apologies for the delay) Reviews are very welcome. PS, the last chapter ended with Destro going to kill Serpentor.
Setting: Scotland
Starring:
Destro................Macbeth
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth
Serpentor............. King Duncan
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo
Billy..................Fleance
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor
Zartan................MacDuff
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters
Tomax/Xamot ................Lennox
Cobra Commander.............Malcolm
"The Freds".............Various soldiers
Two men in grungy gray uniforms sat on either side of a tall oak doorway. There was a heavy rain beating outside, punctuated by the sharp cracks of thunder and lightning.
"Hey Fred 323, why'd Destro assign us Septic-Vipers to guard Serpentor anyway? You'd think he'd have his own Iron Grenadiers guardin' the dude," said one of them.
Fred 323 shifted his anxious gaze from the din outside to the door he and his companion were supposed to be protecting and said: "Because Fred 321, Serpentor threw the last Iron Grenadier that guarded him into a wall for bringin' his breakfast 30 seconds late, and the last tele-viper that guarded him got his neck snapped in half for blinkin' at him too much."
"Dude, I hate this job," said Fred 321, shuddering.
The lightning cracked again, illuminating the hallway and casting odd shadows from the various suits of armor, statues, and weapons of death displayed near the walls.
"Dude, this job freaks me out. When I get freaked out, I get the munchies. Ya got anything besides C-rations to eat?"
"Yeah. Some brownies."
"Hey, wait a sec, ya didn't get these from Dr. Mindbender did ya? The last Viper that ate one of Mindbender's brownies got SARS and Mad Cow disease 3 days later."
"Of course not. Didja think I'm stupid? They're perfectly safe. THEY'RE FROM THE BARONESS!"
"Cool! Funny, she doesn't seem like the domestic-tated type."
"Ehh, probably microwaved. That's why they smell kinda funny."
Both men wolfed them down greedily.
"So, whydja join Cobra in the first place, and don't say 'cause Snake-eyes killed my brother', cause everyone says that," asked Fred 321.
"Oh, well I got a degree in Accounting at the University of Southern California. GO TROJANS! Cause that was like, the first major on the list, and then I lost my job when Arthur Anderson went under and I couldn't get another real job. Some people are so touchy about fudgin' a few numbers here and there. So I got a few debits and credits mixed up and blew a few people's 401 K retirements, big freakin deal, it's not like they wound up homeless.....well......some did. Then I wound up in Cobra and in the Crimson Guard Academy," said Fred 323.
"Do ya think we'll ever get back in the Crimson Guard?"
"Well, I hear they're recruitin' for the Python Patrol Crimson Guard. Maybe we got a shot," said Fred 323, yawning.
Both Freds were getting increasingly more sluggish.
"But, Crimson is ssssssssposed to be a color right? So..... how can we be Python-colored Crimson Guards," asked Fred 321.
"Python isn't a color, dumbass."
"But it'ssssss sssssssstill..like..a pattern. There's gotta be a red- colored python snake out there someplace."
"I dunno. The big sssssssnake near my housssssse...in Encino was green with a yellow stripe on it. It used to...... hang out in my backyard sometimes. Sssssscared the shit outta me..... when I was a kid."
"That wassssssss a garden hosssssssse, dumbass."
"Uh.I.knew that," said Fred 323, turning away and licking the last crumbs of his brownie from his fingers.
"Dude, do you feel.kinda funny," slurred Fred 321.
Both men's pupils dilated intensely.
"Yeah, like, Pink Floyd's The Wall makesssssss sssssssense now."
The Freds both keeled over onto the floor, unconscious.
The lightning cracked again, flooding the hallway with more twisted misshapen shadows. Among the silhouettes of battle axes and busts of fallen warriors, one shadow stood out, the outline of a man who strode purposefully but silently towards the now unguarded door.
Destro paused to put on gloves, as he unlocked the chamber and entered it, his right hand reaching for a gun in his side-holster.
He walked towards the large four-poster bed that Serpentor slept in. The emperor's ceremonial snake-headdress and uniform was draped on a vertical hanger in the middle of the room.
Destro noted how seemingly harmless the sleeping man looked without it. His deep-seated sense of honor crept back in his mind again. He questioned if Serpentor truly deserved to die like this, murdered in his sleep instead of in the glory of battle, killed in his most defenseless state by the act of a coward. The word "coward" echoed in Destro's thoughts.
DING-DONG DING-DONG
The clock struck midnight. To Destro's horror Serpentor stirred awake from its clanging.
He quickly hid behind the hanging uniform. He held his breath, afraid to make any noise, and prayed that the rain outside would drown out the sound of his own heartbeat, which pounded in his ears, mocking his need for silence.
Destro peered carefully through the drapes of the uniform, watching the emperor after what seemed like an eternity finally settle back down in the sheets. Hamlet complex ended, he aimed the gun through the folds at Serpentor's eye and pulled the trigger.
By: Cadet Deming
It's back! I apologize for the long delay; I had writer's block on this one. But in deference to the Colton "Alternate Universe" nomination it got, I'm committed to finishing it. I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed for brevity, others fleshed out more. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder adult language and situations. Thanks to Slayne for beta-ing. Thanks to the good reviews before (and more apologies for the delay) Reviews are very welcome. PS, the last chapter ended with Destro going to kill Serpentor.
Setting: Scotland
Starring:
Destro................Macbeth
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth
Serpentor............. King Duncan
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo
Billy..................Fleance
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor
Zartan................MacDuff
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters
Tomax/Xamot ................Lennox
Cobra Commander.............Malcolm
"The Freds".............Various soldiers
Two men in grungy gray uniforms sat on either side of a tall oak doorway. There was a heavy rain beating outside, punctuated by the sharp cracks of thunder and lightning.
"Hey Fred 323, why'd Destro assign us Septic-Vipers to guard Serpentor anyway? You'd think he'd have his own Iron Grenadiers guardin' the dude," said one of them.
Fred 323 shifted his anxious gaze from the din outside to the door he and his companion were supposed to be protecting and said: "Because Fred 321, Serpentor threw the last Iron Grenadier that guarded him into a wall for bringin' his breakfast 30 seconds late, and the last tele-viper that guarded him got his neck snapped in half for blinkin' at him too much."
"Dude, I hate this job," said Fred 321, shuddering.
The lightning cracked again, illuminating the hallway and casting odd shadows from the various suits of armor, statues, and weapons of death displayed near the walls.
"Dude, this job freaks me out. When I get freaked out, I get the munchies. Ya got anything besides C-rations to eat?"
"Yeah. Some brownies."
"Hey, wait a sec, ya didn't get these from Dr. Mindbender did ya? The last Viper that ate one of Mindbender's brownies got SARS and Mad Cow disease 3 days later."
"Of course not. Didja think I'm stupid? They're perfectly safe. THEY'RE FROM THE BARONESS!"
"Cool! Funny, she doesn't seem like the domestic-tated type."
"Ehh, probably microwaved. That's why they smell kinda funny."
Both men wolfed them down greedily.
"So, whydja join Cobra in the first place, and don't say 'cause Snake-eyes killed my brother', cause everyone says that," asked Fred 321.
"Oh, well I got a degree in Accounting at the University of Southern California. GO TROJANS! Cause that was like, the first major on the list, and then I lost my job when Arthur Anderson went under and I couldn't get another real job. Some people are so touchy about fudgin' a few numbers here and there. So I got a few debits and credits mixed up and blew a few people's 401 K retirements, big freakin deal, it's not like they wound up homeless.....well......some did. Then I wound up in Cobra and in the Crimson Guard Academy," said Fred 323.
"Do ya think we'll ever get back in the Crimson Guard?"
"Well, I hear they're recruitin' for the Python Patrol Crimson Guard. Maybe we got a shot," said Fred 323, yawning.
Both Freds were getting increasingly more sluggish.
"But, Crimson is ssssssssposed to be a color right? So..... how can we be Python-colored Crimson Guards," asked Fred 321.
"Python isn't a color, dumbass."
"But it'ssssss sssssssstill..like..a pattern. There's gotta be a red- colored python snake out there someplace."
"I dunno. The big sssssssnake near my housssssse...in Encino was green with a yellow stripe on it. It used to...... hang out in my backyard sometimes. Sssssscared the shit outta me..... when I was a kid."
"That wassssssss a garden hosssssssse, dumbass."
"Uh.I.knew that," said Fred 323, turning away and licking the last crumbs of his brownie from his fingers.
"Dude, do you feel.kinda funny," slurred Fred 321.
Both men's pupils dilated intensely.
"Yeah, like, Pink Floyd's The Wall makesssssss sssssssense now."
The Freds both keeled over onto the floor, unconscious.
The lightning cracked again, flooding the hallway with more twisted misshapen shadows. Among the silhouettes of battle axes and busts of fallen warriors, one shadow stood out, the outline of a man who strode purposefully but silently towards the now unguarded door.
Destro paused to put on gloves, as he unlocked the chamber and entered it, his right hand reaching for a gun in his side-holster.
He walked towards the large four-poster bed that Serpentor slept in. The emperor's ceremonial snake-headdress and uniform was draped on a vertical hanger in the middle of the room.
Destro noted how seemingly harmless the sleeping man looked without it. His deep-seated sense of honor crept back in his mind again. He questioned if Serpentor truly deserved to die like this, murdered in his sleep instead of in the glory of battle, killed in his most defenseless state by the act of a coward. The word "coward" echoed in Destro's thoughts.
DING-DONG DING-DONG
The clock struck midnight. To Destro's horror Serpentor stirred awake from its clanging.
He quickly hid behind the hanging uniform. He held his breath, afraid to make any noise, and prayed that the rain outside would drown out the sound of his own heartbeat, which pounded in his ears, mocking his need for silence.
Destro peered carefully through the drapes of the uniform, watching the emperor after what seemed like an eternity finally settle back down in the sheets. Hamlet complex ended, he aimed the gun through the folds at Serpentor's eye and pulled the trigger.
