Episode 3: What Done Is Done

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[Forman's basement. Hyde, Eric, Donna, and Kelso are all sitting and talking. Donna in uniform.]

DONNA: This sucks. I hate wearing this stupid outfit and I hate that stupid school! I just scratched my leg and she slapped me with a ruler!

KELSO: Naughty girls should be spanked. [smiling at Donna]

DONNA: [hits Kelso] Shut up.

ERIC: I really wish I could see you during school. You know it isn't the same. Yeah... without you.. I'm just a loser with no hot girl in my arms.

DONNA: Well yeah.

HYDE: That's a given.

KELSO: Yeah... that's true.

ERIC: O-K... thank you.

DONNA: Eric, if you really miss me. Come visit me or something, instead of picking me up afterschool.

ERIC: Really?

DONNA: NO! If they caught you, you'd be in big trouble.

ERIC: Oh what are they going to do? Spank me with a ruler. Ooo... Eric likes... [Donna hits him]

DONNA: Shut up! I don't think you'll like the nuns.

KELSO: Yeah. Some nuns are hot!

[Everyone stares at him.]

KELSO: Ye-ah! Look at Sound of Music! Man... Julie Andrews is one of the few of my favorite things.

[CREDITS]
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[Forman's basement. Same as beginning. Jackie and Fez comes in with shopping bags.]

JACKIE: Okay. That's the last time I take you shopping with me! [sits] You wore me out FEZ!

DONNA: FEZ wore you out AT SHOPPING?

JACKIE: Hey! It's been a long day! He had a head start at the stores. Foreigners cheat!

FEZ: Oh you are just upset because the shirt you liked looked better on me than you.

[Everyone stares. FEZ looks uncomfortable.]

FEZ: The manly shirt... because I am a man.

JACKIE: [picks up one bag and walks towards Hyde] Steven, I got you a little something so we can wear to our date tomorrow night at my uncle's party. [gives him box]

HYDE: [takes box] Jackie. Why did you buy me clothes? I have my own. And why would I go to your uncle's party?

JACKIE: Oh please Steven. What you wear aren't clothes, they are rags. These are clothes... what I got you is wonderful! and tomorrow night is my uncle's party! You got to meet him! He's like my second daddy!

HYDE: [opens box and pulls out a white buttoned up 'ruffled shirt'] What the? [disgusted] What the hell is this? [Everyone laughs]

JACKIE: It's a "IN" ruffled shirt! Isn't it fabulous!?

DONNA: Yeah I'm sure Jackie's Uncle would love it.

KELSO: Oh man! You're going to wear that?

ERIC: Hey, Caption Hook called, he wants his shirt back.

JACKIE: I don't see you having good taste!

FEZ: Yes.. Yes... please shut up. This is a beautiful shirt. [FEZ comes up to T-Shirt]

HYDE: [looks at FEZ] Did you pick this?

FEZ: Yes. [Hyde hits him] Ay!

JACKIE: I think it looks wonderful! You should wear it tomorrow night! Right guys?

KELSO/DONNA/ERIC: Yeah... we so think so.

KELSO: Yeah... You'd be the belle of the ball!

HYDE: [throws it back in the box] No way am I wearing that! I'm not even going tomorrow night.

JACKIE: Steven! Why not?

HYDE: Jackie... those social events are not my thing. It's going to be all those rich people walking around talking. It's not my kind of thing. And there's NO WAY I'm wearing that thing.

ERIC: Iy Iy Captain!

DONNA: So what is this event for, Jackie?

JACKIE: My uncle throws big parties every year for the family.

KELSO: Yeah. Last year's party was so fun!

JACKIE: Michael, you pinned down my Uncle!

KELSO: He was carrying a football!

JACKIE: He was showing it to a friend that it was signed by the Packers!

KELSO: He shouldn't be running with it!

JACKIE: Cuz he saw you coming after him!!! [looks at Steven] Steven... it's really important to me. Please. Now! I got to go and call my uncle. So bye. [kisses Hyde and stops at door] Tomorrow night okay? [leaves]

HYDE: Dammit. [talks to himself under his breath]

KELSO: Hyde... are you talking to yourself?

HYDE: No.

KELSO: [TRYING to imitate Hyde] Oh Look at me! I'm Hyde! I'm talking to myself. Hey Eric, look I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to myself. [Hyde hits Kelso]

ERIC: O-k...

FEZ: Oh look! I'm talking to myself. Right FEZ? Shut up you foreigner!!! I'm so sorry. I'll be quiet now. [looks at the ground sadly]

[Everyone stares at FEZ]

DONNA: So Hyde, why don't you want to go?

ERIC: Yeah... you can wear this [grabs shirt] totally cool shirt and hey! Maybe you'll finally defeat Peter Pan.

HYDE: [to Eric] Shut up Wendy!

ERIC: Hey! If I'm any character from Peter Pan, it'd be Peter Pan himself!

HYDE: [looks at Donna] It's just not my thing. Parties aren't my thing. Well... those kinds at least. Kelso, was there beer?

KELSO: No.

HYDE: See. Not my thing.

FEZ: Jackie's not your thing and yet you're with her.

KELSO: [hits FEZ] Leave Jackie out of this. [thinks abou it] Man...

FEZ: [looks at Kelso] Yes Jackie is no longer yours.You must remember.

DONNA: Hyde, I don't see anything wrong with going? It's important to Jackie.

HYDE: I'm not her doll. She doesn't dress me up.

ERIC: Oh... Heidi. She just wants you to look extra pretty!

HYDE: Get Bent.
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[Forman living room. Red is on the couch watching the Packer's game. Kitty comes down with a envelope, excited]

KITTY: RED! RED! RED! [she stands next to Red] Eric got a letter!

RED: Kitty I'm watching the game! Can't you see I don't care for anything dealing with Eric?

KITTY: It's from a college Red.

RED: [throws remote down and jumps up] Let's see it!

KITTY: [laughs] I'm just so excited! I thought it was a little early for colleges to send letters.

RED: [openning letter] Does it matter? The faster he's accepted the faster he's out of the house. [reading letter]

KITTY: [excited, holding hands together] Well? Well?

RED: [looks at Kitty] HE'S IN! HE'S IN! [hugs Kitty] Our son is in... Dunmark U??? [questions]

KITTY: [puzzled] Where the hell is Dunmark U?
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[Hyde's room. Jackie and Hyde are making out. Jackie stops.]

JACKIE: Steven? So are you going tomorrow night?

HYDE: Jackie, I don't think so.

JACKIE: Is it the shirt? I think the shirt looks great!

HYDE: Jackie. It makes me look like a freaking pirate.

JACKIE: Isn't that sexy? Just imagine.

****************************** FANTASY SEQUENCE *************************************
[On a ship. Hyde is wearing a red captain pirate's costume. He has a pointy mustache and beard. He's wearing a feathered hat and smells the air.]

HYDE: Oh what a lovely day to be sailing. [looking at scope] CREW!

[FEZ, KELSO, and ERIC comes running in pirate costumes.]

FEZ/KELSO/ERIC: Yes Captain?

HYDE: Let us sail! I see there is a fair lady out there! [points]

[Jackie is a mermaid on a rock playing with her hair and smiling.]

FEZ/KELSO/ERIC: Iy Iy Captain.

[They sail over to the rock. Hyde goes on the plank towards the rock to Jackie]

HYDE: Oh fair mermaid. Would you come with me m'lady and we shall sail the seven seas together! [Hyde cuts in] Jackie this is stupid!

JACKIE: Shut up! This is MY fantasy!!! So let it be mine!!! [continues] Oh Captain my captain! Sure!

[Hyde picks her up and carries her on board and puts her into a kiddy pool on the ship.]
******************************** FANTASY SEQUENCE ENDS ***********************************

HYDE: Stop that!

[Continue to make-out]

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[Forman Kitchen. Eric and Donna sitting at the table eating. Kitty comes running in.]

KITTY: ERIC!!!

ERIC: Yeah mom?

KITTY: YOU GOT ACCEPTED TO A COLLEGE!!! [she jumps up and down]

ERIC: [gets up] Really? What college?

KITTY: Dunmark U!

ERIC: [excited] Dunmark U! Dunmark U! WOW! Dunmark U! [looks at Donna and is puzzled] Dunmark U?

DONNA: [shurgs] Congrats Eric! [hugs Eric]

ERIC: Oh wow! [looks at letter] I made it to a college! Donna you got to go here!

DONNA: I never got a letter from them.

ERIC: Wow... Dunmark U! Okay Mom. Where the hell is Dunmark U?

[COMMERCIAL]
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[Forman Basement. 360-Circle. Hyde, FEZ, Eric Kelso.]

HYDE: [holding on to shirt] I can't believe Jackie wants me to wear this.

KELSO: Heh Heh... man. That's even worse than she made me do. [Hyde hits him]

ERIC: Man... that's so true. [chuckles]

KELSO: Look Out Hyde! It's Peter Pan!

HYDE: [hits him] I can't wear this. Here FEZ. [gives it to FEZ]

FEZ: Yeah... just imagine you wearing that.

************************** FANTASY SEQUENCE *****************************************
[On a ship. Hyde is wearing a captain Pirate costume and feathered hat. He has pointy beard and mustache and a hook.]

HYDE: I'll shall capture that Peter Pan. If it's the last thing I do! Smee!!!

[Eric runs out in a pirate's costume and is scared]

ERIC: Yes Captain Hook?

HYDE: We need a plan to attack Peter Pan. He keeps getting in the way of everything.

ERIC: Yes sir! We have captured Wendy, sir! [Points to Donna, dressed as Wendy, tied to a pole and Kelso dressed in a pirate costume is guarding]

HYDE: Good Good... now we shall wait.

KELSO: Oh look! It's Peter Pan!

[FEZ comes flying in green tights (Peter Pan costume) and kicks Kelso]

FEZ: Ah-hoy Hook!

ERIC: Oh no! What shall we do?!?!

DONNA: Oh Peter! Save me!

HYDE: Peter Pan! You have destroyed my plans once again! Let us duel! [pulls out sword]

FEZ: [pulls out sword] Let's go Codfish!

[HYDE and FEZ duel. Hyde was winning, but then FEZ flies above HYDE and goes behind HYDE and they are on the plank. Then you hear a ticking noise. TIC TOC TIC TOC... HYDE looks scared]

HYDE: SMEEE! It's the croocodile!!!

FEZ: Yes! Codfish! [pushes Hyde and then goes to Wendy and frees her.]

WENDY: [hugs FEZ] Oh Peter! [Fez is smiling.]
*********************************** FANTASY SEQUENCE ENDS ********************************

HYDE: Fez? Fez?

FEZ: Enough! Codfish!
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[Donna's room. Donna and Eric on the bed.]

ERIC: Donna. I'm so excited to get into this college

DONNA: Eric... I have something to tel you.

ERIC: Yeah?

DONNA: I think that University is fake.

ERIC: [gets up] What?

DONNA: Have you even heard of Dunmark U?

ERIC: No... but it's heard of me!

DONNA: Eric, just don't fall for that... it's a scam.

ERIC: Donna. No. You know what I think is a scam. The fact that I got in and you didn't! You're jealous!

DONNA: Jealous? Of what?

ERIC: That I got into a college and you didn't.

DONNA: Hmm... let me think... Dunmark is NOT a college! What the hell is Dunmark? I wouldn't be the one to worry about getting in or not.

ERIC: What? What did you say?

DONNA: Eric. Listen.

ERIC: No Donna. No [leaves]
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[Forman basement. Jackie, Eric, Kelso, and FEZ are sitting the the basement. Jackie is in Hyde's seat. Eric and FEZ are on the couch. Kelso is on the chair. Hyde comes out of his room wearing a big jacket.]

HYDE: Jackie lets go.

KELSO: Whoa Hyde. Whatcha under the coat?

HYDE: Everything you wish you had.

JACKIE: Nice Burn!

KELSO: Nu-uh!

ERIC: Oh... what is our little Hyde wearing?

FEZ: [shocked] Are you wearing the shirt?

JACKIE: [jumps up] Steven! Are you?

[Hyde sighs and takes off coat, it's the ruffled shirt, but reformed into a cooler way - the sleeves were cut off and has become vest-liked with a T-shirt under.]

HYDE: [Jackie is shocked] What?

JACKIE: STEVEN! What did you do to the beautiful shirt?!?!

HYDE: I made it cool. [smiles]

JACKIE: [angry and grabs his hand] Let's go.

FEZ: Oh aren't they a lovely couple? [sigh] Oh I'm so lonely.

KELSO: [jumps next to Eric] Hey Eric guess what?

ERIC: You read Cosmo?

KELSO: [pauses] No... I got in Dunmark Univeristy too!!

ERIC: [pauses] Oh crap.
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[Pinciotti's kitchen. Donna is at the counter. Eric knocks and comes in.]

ERIC: Donna.

DONNA: Eric.

ERIC: Look Donna. Do you think I'm stupid?

DONNA: No of course not. Well... sometimes you can act like an ass.

ERIC: No I mean. Do you think I won't get into any colleges?

DONNA: Eric. Of course you'll get into colleges. I was just angry and I said some stuff.

ERIC: Donna... you were right. Dunmark is fake. I'm sorry.

DONNA: I'm sorry for saying that you can't get into colleges. You can. I'm sorry Eric. How do you know Dunmark is fake?

ERIC: Oh... a dumb bird told me.

DONNA: Are you okay about it?

ERIC: Yeah... it's fine. [thinks] I think I need a lot of loving and care for this one... [pauses] Yup... I need some loving.

[Donna laughs... They kiss and hug]
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[CREDITS]

[Forman's driveway. Hyde and Jackie get out of Hyde's car.]

JACKIE: Steven, you acted so sweet today!

HYDE: I didn't say anything all day.

JACKIE: I know! That's so sweet!

HYDE: Uh... k

JACKIE: Oh Steven! [wraps her arms around Hyde's neck] You are so sweet!

HYDE: Jackie. What did I tell you about talking?

JACKIE: Don't do it?

HYDE: Exactly. [They kiss, Jackie stops]

JACKIE: See Steven. This is why I .. [HYDE and JACKIE freezes, Jackie realizes what she was going to say] Never mind.
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