Chapter 3 - Green Heart

I woke up the next morning and replayed the night before in my head around 20 times. I had already replayed it in my head last night around 40. I was so happy. I knew that I liked Jack more than a friend. I knew that I wanted him as more than a friend now. But we may, sadly, always be friends.

I'm not lucky enough to have all to myself.

Of course, there are rumors all over town now, about Karen and Jack. I believed them, kinda, because of course they danced together. I could guess that he liked her. That scared me.

Karen blew him off, though. That made me feel better. She really is my best friend, no doubt. I have no doubts with her. But I, of course, have my doubts with Jack. That's also something I can't exactly help. He's a guy, I wouldn't say I'm in love with him, but I can say I like him, that's a most definite picture. More than like him as a friend, I would love to date him. But that's not going to happen.

I don't have luck like that.

Good thing I don't believe in superstition. It was raining today, and I opened my umbrella in the house before I went outside. I didn't want to get wet, just in case Jack dropped by the library. I didn't want my hair to be messed up. Oh gosh, I thought, I sound like Popuri. I was beginning to unlock the door to the library, I was late again, when I heard someone walk up behind me.

"Hurry, please! I'm getting wetter than wet!" Karen screamed. I opened the door. She ran in. She immediately began rambling, that nothing happened, that nothing could stop him from liking me.

"I sware, nothing happened, okay Maria, so don't be angry or anything, please... he just said thanks for the dance and I said yeah and walked off. Then you came up. I know that much. Maria, please..."

"I know, I know. You didn't do anything, Karen! Don't apologize. If he liked you then he liked you for your beauty, and anyway, I was glad you were the one to dance with him, since you're such a great dancer and everything. I wouldn't want to because, well you know! I'm not such a good dancer and everything... and I DEFINITELY did not want to embarrass myself in front of him..."

"So you DO like him as more than a friend??? I knew it!" Karen said, and a smile spread across her face. I blushed deeply.

"No, no... I just... no.... I don't..." I studdered.

"Yeah, YOU DO. I can see it in your eyes!" Karen said. I involuntarily shut my eyes.

"Ha! See? You're hiding from it!" Karen gasped.

"Don't tell anyone," I said, with my eyes still shut.

"I won't... so how much do you like him?" Karen said, deeply interested.

"Just as a little more than a friend. I'm not IN LOVE with him or anything... you know.."

"Oh I know that much. My Maria would never jump to conclusions like that, or so I hope."

"So you ran in the rain, just to make sure I didn't think the wrong thing???" I asked.

"Yeah.. I guess so..."

"You really are a great friend, Karen."

"Well, um, Maria, if you don't mind... I kinda invited Ann over to the library too, we're going to have a kind of a girl get together today, if you don't mind... sorry I didn't call you or whatever..."

"Sounds like fun!" I said, needing to talk to the girls. "Did you invite Elli and Popuri?"

"Well, I invited Elli, and I sorta halfway mentioned something to Popuri, so she wouldn't be left out."

"Okay, good," I said.

"And also? I invited Ann an hour earlier because us three are the bestest friends. And me and you are the best bestest friends. You know... Haha..." She laughed. I laughed too.

"So, when will this get together be over?" I said.

"Ah, it won't last long, I promise, so if your little Jackie comes inside the library like he does everyday, then you'll be alright. We'll be gone by the time he comes..."

"Umm, okay... not that he comes over all the time... not that I care... you know..." I was lying like a dog. Karen could see that.

"You liar! Okay, anyways, tonight me and you are going to the bar and hanging around. From what I know, nobody's coming tonight, there's this big party at the Vineyard or whatever. You know I don't like to go to those, because I don't get along with my dad. It's just, I don't know. I'd like to be a good family all year round instead of like once a season, just for put on for those parties. I can't stand my father..."

"Yeah. I understand, Karen. You want to either be a great family all the time, or a terrible family all the time, not switching in between."

"Yeah, so like I won't get attached or whatever."

"You make your family sound like dogs," I said.

"They sometimes are..." Karen said, and we laughed.

* * *

When we girls all met up together in the library, yes, including Popuri, we sat around and chatted for quite a while. We all had fun. Even Popuri surprised us in the middle of conversation.

"Maria- I have something to apologize to you about..." Popuri said suddenly. I blinked at her a few times, and Karen and Ann were completely taken aback.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm sorry for being so harsh to you the other day. I was just jealous, because I like Jack and he likes you. And also because you got the Goddess. You deserved it more than any of us did, by the way, Maria. You're definitely maybe the shyest, but you're one of the sweetest.." Popuri said and trailed off. I thought she was going to cry. I missed her sweet side.

"I didn't deserve it, but I completely forgive you." I said, and smiled. She hugged me, and Popuri and I were alright again. Popuri and I, actually, used to be the best friends each other could have. But when he father left a few years ago, she had to be more responsible, and in doing so she pretty much forgot about everyone and was snobby. Everyone else thought she'd be over it by the time her dad got home in spring every year, but she never did. I thought she was coming back to her senses. It made me think a lot more of her.

We chatted forever and ate and ate. You know how girls are. When they're with their best friends, they eat and eat and talk and talk. That's how we were, and it was great fun. I missed all of us being together like that. I cooked some things, but mostly Elli baked. I didn't even touch my stuff, because Elli's most definitely the best cook in town. It was soooo good.

Sadly, they left around noon. It was fun, though, and it was raining still, but they had their umbrellas. It was nice to seem them, and they promised to come back next week, though the rain made me feel lonely, because I thought Jack wasn't coming.

* * *

I was walking around gloomily, putting books in the proper order in their shelves, when I heard a knock on my door. I turned, dropped the books, and went to get it, and I prayed the entire time. Please be Jack. Please be Jack. I opened the door.

"Miss Maria.... hi... umm... package?" Harris said.

"Oh hi." I said with very little enthusiasm. I took the package and threw it on my desk. Rudely, I didn't even ask Harris to come in to dry off for a few minutes before delivering more. I was just disappointed that it wasn't Jack.

"Thanks, bye." I said, and shut the door in his face before he could say another word. I looked on top of the package. Yep, a letter... two letters? Huh?

I opened the first.

"Dear Miss Maria---"

This one was from Harris, it was obvious from the opening.

"I know you may have something going on with Jack, but I ask you again, would you please meet me somewhere? I have something very important I must speak with you about. Love, Harris"

I rolled my eyes and quickly threw it in the trash. Who was the next one from? I quickly tore it open to read.

"Hey, Maria!- Just thought I'd write you today. The Flower Festival is tomorrow, when I'm writing this I mean, but it'll probably have passed by the time you get this. It's kind of strange writing you. I'm used to just walking into the library and chatting with you, disturbing you from your job, like I shouldn't be, but I like to talk to you. I can't help it. I'll see you soon, Maria. Love -Jack"

OH MY GOSH. THERE IS NO WAY. THIS IS FROM JACK. OH MY GOSH. I freaked out, and thought of framing the letter. No, that would be too obvious. Oh my gosh!!! I jumped around the room and swirled with the letter, happy and screaming with joy. What made me the happiest about a silly little letter? This part.

"Love -Jack"

I read it over and over and over. OH MY GOSH. I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but it was just so strange in his cute little handwriting. AWWWW!!!! I liked him so much. I grabbed the letter and quickly put it in a book on a shelf so I could treasure it and get it later. I gasped, and tried to get over it. I sat down in my chair beside the desk. See you soon... well... not too soon, since it's raining and everything... but that's okay...

A few hours later, I was eventually over it. I got a little pepped up when I thought about it, but I was not as happy as I was earlier. I sighed. I glanced on my desk and realized... I haven't opened the package yet.

I opened it and was overjoyed again. My new books. I put them in the new section, including yet ANOTHER bug book, and sat down with one mystery one myself. Around two hours later, I was halfway through the large book, and was stopped by a disturbance in my library.

"Crap!!" Someone yelled, backing into the library, slamming the door and yelling at it. I laughed and laughed and laughed and couldn't stop. Jack was soaking wet, it was hilarious.

"What?" He said, and started to blush. Like I said, I couldn't stop laughing. His blush turned into a lopsided grin, and he walked over to my desk. I stopped laughing and looked at him strangely. He suddenly shook his entire body, water going everywhere and getting all over me.

"Ahh!" I yelled, and laughed, and we both laughed for quite a while. Jack was so much fun sometimes!

He suddenly pulled some flowers, some lopsided flowers, out of his backpack. He blushed deeply and handed them to me.

"Um, uh, I thought, you know, you might, like these, but they're kinda wet, because, it's kinda, well, raining outside."

Thank you Captain Obvious! I looked at the flowers. They were most definitely wet, but I didn't care. I suddenly felt something crawling on my thumb, and I froze. He saw it at the same time I felt it, and his eyes were huge.

"I.. I.. I'm sorry... I didn't... I'm sorry.. uhh... I'll get it off.. uhh... I'm.. sorry.. I.. I.." He studdered.

I smiled, and set down the flowers slowly. I examined the beetle and thought it was the cutest thing in the world. I walked over to my new section of the shelves, and he looked at me quizically. I sat down on the floor slowly, and grabbed the bug book.

"Let's see what you are, little guy," I said like someone talking to a child, as I flipped through the pages slowly, careful not to scare the bug. Jack looked extremely surprised, and came to sit down next to me.

I pointed at a page. "Look, that's what this one is, it's this beetle that only lives in the woods, so you found these flowers in the woods, right?" I said.

He smiled and looked at the bug.

"Look at this bug, it's so neat and quiet, and it doesn't disturb you if you don't disturb it. It's so sweet and so cute!"

I looked back up at him. He wasn't looking at the bug. He was looking straight at me, into my eyes...

"You amaze me," he simply said. I turned a deep crimson red and looked back down at the book. I felt so embarrassed, and so happy, too. I looked back up at him for something to say, but couldn't think of anything.

"Uhmmm-" I started.

He interrupted and stood. "Uh, I have to, uh, go back? To the farm? And work a little? You know?" he said, turning red himself. The rain had stopped, so I didn't have to stop him from anything.

I looked at him, a bit disappointed. I asked something boldly, one of the most bold questions I'd asked.

"Why?" I said, and stood up in front of him. I walked toward him.

"Uhm, uhh, I.. because.. umm..." He started.

"Alright," I said, and smiled halfway at him.

"Well.. I.. uh... won't... if... uh... I.... uhmmmm... don't... have to?"

"Do you have to?" I asked, flirting like crazy with him.

"What... uh... do you mean?" He said, and I realized how close I was to him. I looked away and blushed, and backed up.

"I.. um.. meant you could stay.. if you didn't have anything to do..." I said, shy again. It seems like one of us is always shy.

"Well, I don't, and I'll stay, if you'll have me," He said, this time him getting closer to me.

"Uhmmmm..." I started, but definitely didn't back up... what was going to happen? Was he going to kiss me? Was I going to like it? Of course I would... What was going to happen? I didn't back up, but stood there as he got closer and closer, he looked at me... I blushed and stared back into his eyes...

The door opened and Jack quickly jumped back.

"Miss Maria? Are we meeting tonight?" Harris said in the doorway. His eyes roamed around the dark room, and his eyes finally adjusted. He noticed Jack was there.

"Uhmmm..." Harris started. Jack looked down at the floor.

"I guess I best be going now..." Jack said, not taking his eyes from the floor. Wait? What was he thinking? Was he thinking Harris and I... were together? Surely not! He looked that way!

"No!" I said, "I mean, no." I said calmly. Jack still headed for the door, but he did look at me, and he was definitely hurt.

"Jack..." I started.

"No." He said firmly, calmly, and quietly. He thought the impossible. But why would he care? Did he like me... that way?

Jack stepped out. Harris looked at me, confused. I looked at him, and wanted so badly to throw a book at him.

"Are we going to meet or what?" Harris said.

"No." I said firmly and angrily. I shut the door in his face.

* * *

My red eyes shot up to the clock. Five minutes was close enough to closing time. I was going to close the library. I grabbed everything and left the bug in the jar on my desk and my book too. I didn't care about those things right now. I started crying again on my way out of the door.

"My gawsh, Harris, why did you have to come in? Jack, why did you have to take it the wrong way?" I mumbled to myself as I locked the door back. I cried and ran home.

As I lay in my bed, I thought to myself. I have to tell him, I thought forcefully. I had to go by his farm and tell him, face to face. I like him more than a friend. I had to tell him... I had to tell him... I had to tell him...

I got out of bed. It was only seven o clock, but I was in bed because I was crying. I got up and started walking towards his farm.

I don't love him...

Do I?

Of course not...

I walked for an hour or so, taking the long way because I had to think it out.

What do I say?

My thoughts were stopped short when I reached his farm. I walked onto his property and looked around for him. He was working in his field, and he was working forcefully. I watched him. He stopped every once and a while and just looked into the sky.

What is he thinking?

I stood there, watching and wondering, when his dog saw me and started barking. I immediately hid behind his house, and the dog was following me viciously...

"What's the matter, girl?" Jack called out to his dog. The dog just barked and ran towards me. I couldn't hold it in, I screamed.

Jack heard me.

"Whoa, girl, come here, now!" Jack said forcefully to his dog. The dog didn't listen and was coming up on me. Jack didn't see me, but I'm sure he knew who I was.

"Sandy, darnit!!!" He yelled. This dog, Sandy, didn't listen, again. I don't think this dog cared... I was getting really scared of this dog by now.

"SANDY! COME HERE!" Jack said, not waiting for the dog to come, but running as fast as he could. He was a fast runner...

He tackled his own dog and I was standing against his house, staring at the dog, frozen. I shifted my gaze towards him, and he just looked at me.

"What do you need...?" Jack said like I interrupted some serious work.

"I.. Jack... it's not.... what you think..." I started.

"What's not what I think???" He said angrily. "That something was going on with me and you??? Because it sure seemed that way, Maria! So, you and Harris are together, right? When did this happen? All from the beginning???" He shouted.

"No... I... I..." I started.

"Don't deny it Maria! I knew Harris had a crush on you, but I ignored it! I thought you and I had something... something... but... it's not what I think!" he said.

I started crying. I couldn't stand him yelling at me. "Jack! No! I'm not with Harris! I don't even like him! What's not what you think is that I am not with Harris!" I said forcefully through my tears. I turned away from him.

"Maria... I..." He began.

I raced from the farm crying and running as fast as I could.

* * *

The next day was Monday, and I was happy so I could stay in the bed as late as I possibly wanted. I could hide out in the house, go to sleep, and go a few hours, or try to, without crying over Jack. There's no way I can ever face him again. Or so I thought.

I heard a knock on my door. "Maria? It's eleven o'clock. Why aren't you up yet, sweetheart?" My mother said softly.

"I'm just tired. I'm getting up." I said.

"You best hurry, someone's here to see you," She said annoyed.

Karen, yes! I have to tell her everything. She'll make me feel better. She'll tell me that... I don't know. But I can't face Jack again. I'll tell Karen, and maybe? Nahhh, I think it's over with Jack. But I can't wait to talk to Karen!

I got dressed as quickly as I could. I couldn't wait to tell Karen. I ran to the door, slung it open and...

"Hi, Maria," Jack said.

"Hi." I said, praying I wouldn't break down right in front of him.

"Uhm, I think that it's best that we... go on a walk." Jack said. I looked at my mom and she nodded for me to go. Honestly, I almost told him no. Why? Because I wasn't angry, but I was very sad.

We were soon outside and walking on the path he and I walked on after the Flower Festival, when we watched the sunset. I looked at him, and he was looking forward, as if he wanted to say something, but didn't know how to.

"So." I said.

"So." he said. We walked in silence for a few minutes, and I almost cried right there. If he wouldn't have...

He turned around and grabbed my hands.

"Look, Maria... I'm sorry... I was jumping to conclusions... and... Maria... it was weird.... for me to say... what I said... umm.. that you and I had something going on... and I have to ask you... two questions."

"Uhmm, uhhh, yeah...?" I said quietly. I thought I was going to cry especially now that he'd said that it was a mistake for him to say that we had some sort of chemistry there.

"Will you forgive me?" He said quietly and looked at me squarely in the eye.

"Yes." I said firmly.

"And... did we... have something going on?" He asked, this time looking at his feet and shuffling them.

How would I answer this question?

"Uhm, uh, y.. y... yeah, I g..guess s..so." I studdered. What did he mean?

"Like as in... more than a friend?" He asked eagerly.

"Y...y...yes." I said. Suddenly, he swooped me off of the ground and spun me around multiple times, laughing and smiling. I was laughing too. He sat me back down on the ground and plopped down on the grass on his butt.

"Whoa, I'm dizzy," Jack said.

"Me too," I said and plopped down beside him myself. He looked at me. I looked at him...

What was going to happen?

"Maria," he said, and said nothing more.

I looked at him, frozen in place. He was coming nearer...

Suddenly we heard a scream. Jack jumped up and looked around. It was nowhere near. I looked at him fearfully and he decided he was going to inspect. He ran through the trees until we heard the crying girl. It was May.

"Ow, ouch, OW! I think... I think I broke my leg!" May screamed. Jack immediately picked her up and raced her over to the midwife's house, which served as a hospital.

"Yes, she's definitely got a broken leg," The midwife said.

"Ow, grandmommy, fix it! Ow!!"

"You two, thanks!" She said as she began to frantically search for some kind of wrap.

"Is she going to be alright?" Jack practically had to yell over the screaming girl's voice.

"Yes, yes, she'll be fine. You two get going," she said, and winked at me. Jack blushed and we left.

"Well, um, 'bye..." Jack said when we were standing in front of the doorstep to my home. He was holding my hand. I hugged him goodbye and went inside the house. Boy, was I happy!

Karen came over not long after, and I told her all about it.

"Ya'll were really about to... kiss?"

"I think so... I'm not sure. Maybe there was something on my face and he was trying to figure out what it was?"

"Nah... I doubt it."

I had trouble going to sleep that night. I was very happy.

* * *

Several days passed, and soon it was the first of summer. These several days included Jack's coming over and I dropping by his house once, to give him some pie. He was really sweet, and we were slowly developing a more- than-friend relationship. It was a slow process, but I was happy. He did like me that way, and I was very very happy with that.

The Fireworks Festival was that day. I sat around the library, waiting for Jack. I was going to ask him. No, I was not going to wait for him to ask me. I was going to ask him.

He walked in around one or two o'clock and sat down.

"Maria, there's something I'd like to see if you'd..." Jack immediately started.

I held my hand up.

"Jack, will you go to the fireworks festival with me tonight?" I asked. Jack blinked a few times and laughed.

"Why sure, I'll go with you!" he laughed as he said it and smiled.

"Meet me at the square at 6?"

"Nope." He said.

"Huh?" I said, taken aback.

"Meet you at your house at 5, take you to the beach, and you and I sit on the dock," he said, grinning widely as he said so.

I blushed. "Yes, that sounds... g..great." I said. It sounded romantic.

"But if you um, don't mind? I kinda invited Cliff and Kai, since they're like my best friends." Jack said. So much for romantic.

"That's fine. I'll invite Ann and Karen," I said, and winked.

"Maybe they'll hit it off." He said.

I laughed. "That's what I was thinking." I said.

* * *

Soon all six of us were sitting on the dock at the beach. Jack was holding my hand and looking in my eyes excitedly. He couldn't wait until the fireworks started. He reminded me of a little boy at Christmastime.

"You guys, um, if you don't mind, I would like to walk with Maria along the beach for a second," he said, and pulled me off of the dock. We waded into the water.

I overheard Ann's whisper. "I wish I could be romantic like that with somebody," she said.

"Me too," Karen muttered back.

Jack and I walked along the shore of the beach for a little while. We talked and walked, and we actually did plan to meet up with the rest of them in time for the fireworks.

"Maria?" Jack started.

"Yes?" I asked. He stopped and spun me to face him.

"I really... um... would like to tell you something... Maria... I..." He drew me nearer and nearer to him. Was this it? Was it really? I was beginning to get excited. His face was getting closer and closer... I could feel his breath on my face...

POW.

The fireworks began. Jack turned suddenly and looked at the sky. I was disappointed at first, but the fireworks were beautiful!

"Aren't they beautiful?" I said, gasping as I said so.

"Yes, almost as beautiful as you," Jack said. I blinked a few times, but didn't take my eyes from the fireworks. He didn't say what I just think he said, did he? Nahhhh, he didn't say that.

The fireworks finally ended, and I stared at the sky, eager for more. Then I remembered. The sparklers! I took an entire box out of my pocket and looked at Jack. Jack smiled as I handed his to him.

"I brought an entire box for everyone, but since we're alone..." I said.

"I tell you what. How many do you have in there?"

"Twelve," I said.

"Let's light two ourselves, and then go back and act as if we hadn't, and light them with them too," Jack said.

"Sounds good," I said and smiled at him.

We lit our sparklers. They weren't near as beautiful as the ones in the sky.

"You know," Jack said, "it's strange really. When you light one of these, it seems lonely, all by itself. But now that there are two, they seem to glow even brighter."

"Yeah, they are." I agreed.

"Kinda like I am with you," He said. I blushed.

"I'm better around you Jack, I really am. I actually can talk with you, Jack. Karen and Ann are the only others that I can confide in, besides you, I mean,"

"That's how I am. I mean, I'm not shy, but..." Jack started.

"HEY JACK! MARIA!" Karen yelled across the beach. I squinted to see Karen, and she was, what? She was no, she was not! She was holding Kai's hand! I ran towards Karen and Kai and Jack talked.

"He may have worked in the vineyard, but I really never realized.. I dunno... how... hot he is..." Karen said, "We were perfect together. I wonder where Cliff and Ann are?"

I smiled at Karen and she smiled back. We agreed silently that maybe they were great together, too.

"Kai can kiss, I tell you. How does Jack kiss?" Karen said, fantasizing.

I blushed and didn't say anything. This was a very embarrassing situation, since Jack hadn't kissed me yet. I believed there were moments were he'd thought of it and come close to, but we still hadn't. And Kai and Karen... they JUST NOW started dating and they're already kissing? Well, that's Karen.

"Ahh, I guess he kisses great then, Maria! Aww! You're embarrassed to say anything!" Karen said. I didn't correct her. Was I lying? No....

Jack and Kai joined Karen and I walking. Kai immediately grabbed Karen's hand, and Karen blushed. Wait.. Karen blushed? Karen... blushed???

Jack noticed it too. He looked at me quizically.

"I'll tell you everything later," I whispered in his ear. He winked.

We walked, looking for Cliff and Ann. We found Cliff and Ann. They were arguing, yelling at each other, not getting along whatsoever.

Jack shot me a glance and I laughed. Yes, they were going to be just fine. Let's just hope that Karen doesn't get her heart broken...

That night was great. It was tons of fun, though Jack and I never kissed. We came close, but it was enough to make me think.

Do I love him?