Episode 4: Hyde Boat
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[Forman Kitchen. Red, Hyde, Kitty and Eric are eating breakfast at the table. Red is reading the newspaper.]
ERIC: Dad, the gang is going to visit colleges this weekend, do you mind if I take the car?
KITTY: OooOo... Colleges! How interesting! So Steven, you're thinking about college now! How exciting!
HYDE: Yeah Mrs. Forman. I'm so excited with glee. [sarcastic]
RED: No, have Steven drive.
HYDE: Well Red, I would, but I don't allow idiots in my car for a long period of time.
RED: Good point Steven. No Eric.
ERIC: Dad!
RED: Eric, just have somebody else drive. Like that idiot Kelso.
KITTY: Red, give him the keys.
ERIC: Yeah, the Vista Cruiser was originally mine.
RED: [puts down the paper] Yours? [points] Who pays for the insurance? Who paid for the car? Who pays for the gas? When you have the money to pay for that, then why would you want the Vista Cruiser?
HYDE: Good point Red.
KITTY: [shakes head] Steven...
ERIC: [thinks] The more faster I visit the college and choose, the faster I'll be getting OUT of the house.
RED: [gives keys] Here. [Eric grabs it]
[Credits]
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[Jackie's bedroom. Donna and Jackie are on the bed.]
JACKIE: DONNA! I did the most stupidest thing in the world!
DONNA: What have you not done stupid?
JACKIE: [nodds] DON-NA! I ALMOST told Steven I loved him!
DONNA: [starts cracking up] Really? What did he say?
JACKIE: He froze! He kissed me good-night and went to the basement. We haven't talked since! Oh Donna! I almost said it to him!!!
DONNA: Jackie calm down! It's not that bad. He probably couldn't tell.
JACKIE: What do I say to him again? I mean, what if he knew I was going to say it?! What if he freaks out?
DONNA: Hyde's not like that... he keeps his cool.
JACKIE: Yeah. You're right. Hyde's a man. Wow. I'm dating a man. You should try that.
DONNA: Ye-ah. Calm down and just pretend like it never happened. Me and the guys are going to visit the college this weekend. So it'll give you time to think.
JACKIE: THAT'S IT! [points] I'll just be my normal pretty self and you can be your scary tall self. [Donna hits Jackie] Ow! See! Scary!
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[Forman's basement. Hyde and Eric. Hyde comes out of his room putting on a jacket. Eric is looking at college flyers.]
ERIC: Man, I can't wait to go visit University of Wisconsin!
HYDE: Yeah, just when we thought we'd get away from here. We find out... we're staying here.
ERIC: It won't be that bad. At least you'll be closer to Jackie. [mocks Hyde] Your Loooouuuuvvvveeeee! [does kissy faces]
HYDE: [hits Eric] Shut your piehole Forman.
ERIC: Why should I? You looooooouuuuuuvvvvvveee her!
HYDE: Whatevers man. I have everything and everyone. I don't love anyone.
ERIC: Uh-oh... Hyde's in loooouuuuuvvvveeee!!! [Hyde laughs] What?
HYDE: Just wondering if your lips could reach up your ass.
ERIC: Why would you think - okay ow... I'm gonna stop now.
[FEZ and Kelso comes in.]
KELSO: Okay! We're ready to go!
FEZ: Yes! Let's go see those college whores!
ERIC: Yeah... no... we have to wait for Donna.
HYDE: She's coming?
ERIC: Of course. I told you. We want to go try to go to the same colleges.
[Donna comes in]
DONNA: Hey guys! Ready to roll.
KELSO: YEAH! WE'RE GOING TO COLLEGE!
FEZ: Let the whore times roll!!! [pauses] Did I say that correctly?
[All leave to Forman's driveway. As they begin to leave. Jackie comes.]
JACKIE: Steven!
HYDE: [walks to her] Yeah?
JACKIE: Have fun!
HYDE: Sure.
JACKIE: But not too much fun!
HYDE: Okay.
JACKIE: You know... hanging with the guys- NO GIRLS- fun!
KELSO: Hurry up Hyde! We got to go! To W-U!!!
FEZ: Yes! W-U! Whore University!
ERIC: It's Wisconsin University.
FEZ: Oh screw that.
[Hyde shrugs goes into the car, they leave and Jackie is left in the driveway]
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[Forman Kitchen. Kitty is making herself a sandwich. The food is on the counter... she puts a two slices of ham on the bread, then puts bread on top of the ham... she looks at it and then puts two slices of ham over the bread and covers it with bread... then she stares at it and puts more ham and bread on it. She finally puts the stuff away and puts the sandwich on the table. She sits and takes a bit of the tall sandwich. Then she chews and gives up]
KITTY: Oh forget it! [pushes plate away]
[Jackie comes in through the sliding door]
JACKIE: Mrs. Forman.
KITTY: Oh hi Jackie. [laughs] What brings you here? Steven isn't here? He left with the group to go visit a college.
JACKIE: I know. I just came here for advice.
KITTY: Oh sure. Sit! [Jackie sits] Want a sandwich?
JACKIE: No thanks Mrs. Forman. I made a BIG mistake.
KITTY: [scared] Oh dear! Are you pregnant?!?! Oh... my.. gosh... you're lucky!
JACKIE: Oh noooo...
KITTY: [relieved in a way] Oh good! Well dear if you want condoms.. Eric has a whole bag in his room.
JACKIE: EW! Mrs. Forman No!
KITYY: Well it's for your own good!
JACKIE: I almost said I love you to Steven.
KITTY: [laughs] Oh Jackie.
JACKIE: [looks serious] I'm serious Mrs. Forman. I almost told him I loved him! [Stares at table] I would bang my head, but it's too pretty to be hit.
KITTY: [regains herself] Oh... did he understand what you were trying to say?
JACKIE: [sad] No. [thinks] I don't know why he wouldn't say it to me?
KITTY: Now calm down.
JACKIE: [grabs the sandwich and starts eating] I don't get it? Why didn't he say it? Mmm... this would go great with milk! [Kitty runs up and gets milk]
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[College. Hyde, Eric, Donna, FEZ, and Kelso are in a recreation room.]
FEZ: [reads Recreation Room] Oooh Look! They have a room just for sex! See! [points] Re-Creation Room. They make babies in here.
DONNA: It's recreation. It's a place to relax in. [walks in]
KELSO: Yeah [sits on a chair next to the couch] I can relax here all day.
[Hyde sits on the opposite side of the where Kelso is sitting, next to the couch. FEZ, Donna and Eric sits on the couch. - Looks like they are in Eric's basement]
FEZ: This feels nice.
KELSO: Yup. Things are going to be different in college.
HYDE: You guys. Doesn't this seem familar?
[Everyone shakes their head no]
ERIC: Yup! [puts feet on table] Totally different.
DONNA: Eric. I'm going to go to the bathroom. [gets up and leaves]
KELSO: Eric... you've been bringing Donna everywhere! We're not going to have fun with our college outing!
ERIC: Whu-What? What are you guys talking about?
HYDE: I didn't bring Jackie here.
KELSO: It's not good that she's with you everywhere all the time!!! Next thing you'll know... CLINGLY!
FEZ: Yes and now you cannot join our fun.
KELSO: Scooping out the ladies.
HYDE: Amazingly enough... Kelso's got a point.
KELSO: YES! See!
FEZ: Wow... this does feel different.
KELSO: Thank you!
ERIC: Hyde... you're going to check out other girls?
HYDE: I'm just going to kick back and relax and watch them come to me.
FEZ: Yes, we shall all relax in the Re-creation room.
[Commercial]
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[Kitty's bedroom. Jackie and Kitty are on Jackie's bed. Zoom on Jackie's face]
JACKIE: You were right Mrs. Forman. I feel much better. Thank you so much for everything.
KITTY: [voice only] It's no problem at all Jackie.
JACKIE: I just hope you like what I've done to your hair. [Zooms out, Kitty's hair is in big curls] Thank you for this.
KITTY: Dear... as long as you're feeling better.
JACKIE: I am! I don't need an I love you from the man I love. [pulls hard]
KITTY: Jackie... Ow...
JACKIE: Sorry Mrs. Forman. It's just so hard being with a man who you don't know loves you or not.
KITTY: Well... the first time Red said I love you was on our one year anniversary dating.
JACKIE: Hmm... I can see that we're not talking about me now, so what do you think about my hair?
[Kitty dazes off]
**************** PAST SEQUENCE **************************
[In a cool joint. Looks like Hub. Kitty in a poodle skirt and is dancing to the music. Red comes in in a soldier suit.]
KITTY: Oh Red! It's so great to see you! So... how was war? You had a good time? [Laughs]
RED: If you call bullets flying over our heads and gernades blasting everywhere fun... then sure.
KITTY: Wow Red! I've missed you.
RED: Kitty. I've missed you too. I've been meaning to tell you this for quite some time...
KITTY: Yes Red? [stares into his eyes]
RED: It's just... [stumbling]
KITTY: What Red? What?
[Frank dressed as a soldier comes in.]
FRANK: RED! Come quick! We're getting word about what's going on at the station!
RED: [looks at Frank] Ah Damn. [looks at Kitty] I got to take this.
KITTY: But Red! What do you have to tell me!
RED: [runs to Frank] Kitty... I love you! [leaves]
KITTY: [runs to door and is outside screaming] I love you too RED! I love you too!
RED: [comes back] Kitty... After being at war for so long... When we get married... I want a son... and he better not be a sissy boy! [kisses her and leaves]
[Kitty is dazed]
************* PAST SEQUENCE ENDS *********************
JACKIE: Mrs. Forman! Mrs. Forman!
KITTY: [not paying attention to Jackie] Oh Red... I love you too!
JACKIE: Voila! [hands Kitty mirror]
[Kitty's hair is sticking up in big curls. Looks funny. The curls are pointy in one direction, making her hair look like ears.]
KITTY: Oh Jackie... I don't know what to say.
JACKIE: Don't thank me! I know it's beautiful! Oh wow! I can't wait til Mr. Forman sees it!
KITTY: Oh God...
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[Recreation Room. Party. People are all over. Hyde is sitting in a chair next to the couch, drinking a beer. FEZ is dancing and scooping the ladies. Kelso is placing his arms around girls and is getting rejected. Eric and Donna are on ANOTHER the couch.]
GIRL: [to Hyde] Hey! I love your hair! [smiles] Wanna come to my room? I want to show you something.
HYDE: No thanks. I'm fine here.
[Girls leaves. FEZ comes in]
FEZ: What happened?!?!
HYDE: She wore a 'LOVE BOAT' shirt. I can't be with a girl who likes the LOVE BOAT...
FEZ: Yet, Jackie loves Unicorns and [gasp] YOU LOVE JACKIE!
HYDE: Shut your piehole.
FEZ: I'm sorry. Jackie Lover.
HYDE: [pretends to look through FEZ] FEZ! I think I see a naked chick there! [points to crowd]
FEZ: [turns and run] Where?!?!
[Eric and Donna are talking on the OTHER couch.]
ERIC: You want a drink? [starts to get up]
DONNA: Sure. I'll come with you. [starts to get up]
ERIC: [hesitates] No. It's okay. I can get it by myself.
DONNA: I know. but I want to go with you.
ERIC: [stops and sighs] Okay Look Donna.You can't keep following me all over the place.
DONNA: [annoyed] Excues me? Following YOU all over the place?
ERIC: [notices what he said] Just kidding... I... love you? [laughs nervously]
DONNA: Fine. I won't follow you. [walks away]
ERIC: No Donna! Wait. Damn! [walks to the punch bowl]
[Back to Hyde. Donna comes and sees girls hitting on Hyde]
HYDE: [to girl] No thanks. [girl leaves]
DONNA: [walks to Hyde] Wow. So many girls you turned down.
HYDE: Donna. I'm not keeping track of the SEVEN girls who offered a quick fixed.
DONNA: Oh? Could it be because of Jackie?
HYDE: [gets up and gets another beer] No. Why the hell would it be?
DONNA: I don't know. You tell me. [she smiles] You LOOOVVVEEE her!
HYDE: [looks at her. puts beer down hard] Damn Forman told you.
[Kelso comes behind Hyde trying to get a beer. Hyde doesn't see him]
DONNA: So is it true? You love her?
HYDE: [shakes head] I guess so
[Kelso makes a angry face. Donna sees him and is wide eyed. Hyde notices it.]
HYDE: Kelso's behind me, huh? [Donna nodds]
KELSO: [shrieks] WHAT?!?!?!
HYDE: [turns around] Hey man!
KELSO: You love her?!?! [Hyde remains quiet] OkaY! That draws the line!!! First you messed around with her! Then you didn' tell me! Then you started LIKING each other! Then became BOYFRIEND and GIRLFRIEND. Now you LOVE her???
[Everyone is surrounding them now. Including Eric who comes next to Donna]
HYDE: You can say that. Yeah.
KELSO: Of all the lowest things you can do HYDE!!! And I mean LOW! Like Below the belt low!!!
[Hyde is looking away accepting this, but has his fists clenched. Hyde is holding his anger. Eric is getting mad at Kelso]
ERIC: [goes up to Kelso] Yeah you know what Kelso. Yeah. Hyde loves Jackie and I don't know why and if that's possible. But by God, he does!
KELSO: ERIC! I didn't think the relationship was serious...
FEZ: Yeah... it was pretty creepy... but now you [to Hyde] loves her and that's okay.
KELSO: No it's not! You betrayed me.
HYDE: Look man. I don't want to fight. God knows what I can do to you.
KELSO: [points to Hyde] You're a bad bad bad friend! Bad!
ERIC: No Kelso! No! You're the bad friend. I know the whole Jackie and Hyde thing is crazy.
FEZ: VERY!
ERIC: Thank you. Very crazy... but GET OVER IT.
DONNA: Yeah, you and Jackie are over.
ERIC: You left her. Now Hyde, YOUR friend, has her. Who cares? Far be it that it's Jackie. You left her and all she wanted to do was... be... with... you [looks at Donna] Donna. I'm sorry. I'm a idiot.
DONNA: I know. [walks to Eric] It's okay.
ERIC: No... Not it's not okay. You're not clingy... I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry. I know you want to be with me. I'm sorry.
DONNA: Come on Eric. Let's leave these boys alone. [They walk away]
KELSO: [to Hyde] This isn't over.
[Girls comes up to Kelso.]
GIRL: I heard what happened. I'm sorry what happened to you. [puts arms around Kelso]
KELSO: Well... yes... [to Hyde] It's over for now! [goes to girl] As I was saying...
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[Living room. Red is sitting on his chair. Kitty opens the door with a shaw on and tries to run upstairs. Red notices]
RED: Hello Kitty.
KITTY: [stops] Oh Hi Red.
RED: What's with the shaw?
KITTY: Oh you know kids! It's in! It's out!
RED: Kitty... take it off.
KITTY: Now RED! I'll be back!
RED: Kitty. Take it off. [Kitty takes it off. The hair is revealed] Why Kitty... umm... how lovely...
KITTY: [relieved] Really Red?
RED: Yeah... [Kitty hugs Red]
KITTY: Oh thank GOD! [she runs upstairs]
RED: [after she's out of sight] What the hell was that? Crazy psycho menopause... I didn't know it affected the hair too. Dammit.
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[Forman Driveway. They came back and Jackie is waiting. They get out of the car.]
JACKIE: Hello Steve. You have a GOOD TIME??? [questions]
HYDE: Yeah It was cool.
JACKIE: So... what happened?
HYDE: Oh same oh.
JACKIE: [sees Donna doing the 'it's okay' sign] Oh... that's great to hear. Well Steven. Do you think we can go out tonight?
HYDE: Sure.
JACKIE: Great! I want to buy this LOVE BOAT shirt I've been having my eye on for weeks!
HYDE: [nodds] That's cool. [They walk out together]
FEZ: [watches them leave] Aww... [sigh] Hyde loves her.
[Credits]
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[Kitchen Table. Red, Hyde, Kitty, Eric. Kitty has the hairdo still. Everyone is staring at her]
RED: Eric Stop looking at your mother.
KITTY: You know. Its okay. I'm fine with it.
[Hyde is staring at her hair]
KITTY: [snaps] STOP LOOKING LIKE I'M A FREAKING STATUE!!!
[Hyde looks away. Eric stares]
RED: Eric. Stop it.
ERIC: Sorry Mom. So... what's up? [innocently]
[Everyone stares at him]
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[Forman Kitchen. Red, Hyde, Kitty and Eric are eating breakfast at the table. Red is reading the newspaper.]
ERIC: Dad, the gang is going to visit colleges this weekend, do you mind if I take the car?
KITTY: OooOo... Colleges! How interesting! So Steven, you're thinking about college now! How exciting!
HYDE: Yeah Mrs. Forman. I'm so excited with glee. [sarcastic]
RED: No, have Steven drive.
HYDE: Well Red, I would, but I don't allow idiots in my car for a long period of time.
RED: Good point Steven. No Eric.
ERIC: Dad!
RED: Eric, just have somebody else drive. Like that idiot Kelso.
KITTY: Red, give him the keys.
ERIC: Yeah, the Vista Cruiser was originally mine.
RED: [puts down the paper] Yours? [points] Who pays for the insurance? Who paid for the car? Who pays for the gas? When you have the money to pay for that, then why would you want the Vista Cruiser?
HYDE: Good point Red.
KITTY: [shakes head] Steven...
ERIC: [thinks] The more faster I visit the college and choose, the faster I'll be getting OUT of the house.
RED: [gives keys] Here. [Eric grabs it]
[Credits]
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[Jackie's bedroom. Donna and Jackie are on the bed.]
JACKIE: DONNA! I did the most stupidest thing in the world!
DONNA: What have you not done stupid?
JACKIE: [nodds] DON-NA! I ALMOST told Steven I loved him!
DONNA: [starts cracking up] Really? What did he say?
JACKIE: He froze! He kissed me good-night and went to the basement. We haven't talked since! Oh Donna! I almost said it to him!!!
DONNA: Jackie calm down! It's not that bad. He probably couldn't tell.
JACKIE: What do I say to him again? I mean, what if he knew I was going to say it?! What if he freaks out?
DONNA: Hyde's not like that... he keeps his cool.
JACKIE: Yeah. You're right. Hyde's a man. Wow. I'm dating a man. You should try that.
DONNA: Ye-ah. Calm down and just pretend like it never happened. Me and the guys are going to visit the college this weekend. So it'll give you time to think.
JACKIE: THAT'S IT! [points] I'll just be my normal pretty self and you can be your scary tall self. [Donna hits Jackie] Ow! See! Scary!
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[Forman's basement. Hyde and Eric. Hyde comes out of his room putting on a jacket. Eric is looking at college flyers.]
ERIC: Man, I can't wait to go visit University of Wisconsin!
HYDE: Yeah, just when we thought we'd get away from here. We find out... we're staying here.
ERIC: It won't be that bad. At least you'll be closer to Jackie. [mocks Hyde] Your Loooouuuuvvvveeeee! [does kissy faces]
HYDE: [hits Eric] Shut your piehole Forman.
ERIC: Why should I? You looooooouuuuuuvvvvvveee her!
HYDE: Whatevers man. I have everything and everyone. I don't love anyone.
ERIC: Uh-oh... Hyde's in loooouuuuuvvvveeee!!! [Hyde laughs] What?
HYDE: Just wondering if your lips could reach up your ass.
ERIC: Why would you think - okay ow... I'm gonna stop now.
[FEZ and Kelso comes in.]
KELSO: Okay! We're ready to go!
FEZ: Yes! Let's go see those college whores!
ERIC: Yeah... no... we have to wait for Donna.
HYDE: She's coming?
ERIC: Of course. I told you. We want to go try to go to the same colleges.
[Donna comes in]
DONNA: Hey guys! Ready to roll.
KELSO: YEAH! WE'RE GOING TO COLLEGE!
FEZ: Let the whore times roll!!! [pauses] Did I say that correctly?
[All leave to Forman's driveway. As they begin to leave. Jackie comes.]
JACKIE: Steven!
HYDE: [walks to her] Yeah?
JACKIE: Have fun!
HYDE: Sure.
JACKIE: But not too much fun!
HYDE: Okay.
JACKIE: You know... hanging with the guys- NO GIRLS- fun!
KELSO: Hurry up Hyde! We got to go! To W-U!!!
FEZ: Yes! W-U! Whore University!
ERIC: It's Wisconsin University.
FEZ: Oh screw that.
[Hyde shrugs goes into the car, they leave and Jackie is left in the driveway]
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[Forman Kitchen. Kitty is making herself a sandwich. The food is on the counter... she puts a two slices of ham on the bread, then puts bread on top of the ham... she looks at it and then puts two slices of ham over the bread and covers it with bread... then she stares at it and puts more ham and bread on it. She finally puts the stuff away and puts the sandwich on the table. She sits and takes a bit of the tall sandwich. Then she chews and gives up]
KITTY: Oh forget it! [pushes plate away]
[Jackie comes in through the sliding door]
JACKIE: Mrs. Forman.
KITTY: Oh hi Jackie. [laughs] What brings you here? Steven isn't here? He left with the group to go visit a college.
JACKIE: I know. I just came here for advice.
KITTY: Oh sure. Sit! [Jackie sits] Want a sandwich?
JACKIE: No thanks Mrs. Forman. I made a BIG mistake.
KITTY: [scared] Oh dear! Are you pregnant?!?! Oh... my.. gosh... you're lucky!
JACKIE: Oh noooo...
KITTY: [relieved in a way] Oh good! Well dear if you want condoms.. Eric has a whole bag in his room.
JACKIE: EW! Mrs. Forman No!
KITYY: Well it's for your own good!
JACKIE: I almost said I love you to Steven.
KITTY: [laughs] Oh Jackie.
JACKIE: [looks serious] I'm serious Mrs. Forman. I almost told him I loved him! [Stares at table] I would bang my head, but it's too pretty to be hit.
KITTY: [regains herself] Oh... did he understand what you were trying to say?
JACKIE: [sad] No. [thinks] I don't know why he wouldn't say it to me?
KITTY: Now calm down.
JACKIE: [grabs the sandwich and starts eating] I don't get it? Why didn't he say it? Mmm... this would go great with milk! [Kitty runs up and gets milk]
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[College. Hyde, Eric, Donna, FEZ, and Kelso are in a recreation room.]
FEZ: [reads Recreation Room] Oooh Look! They have a room just for sex! See! [points] Re-Creation Room. They make babies in here.
DONNA: It's recreation. It's a place to relax in. [walks in]
KELSO: Yeah [sits on a chair next to the couch] I can relax here all day.
[Hyde sits on the opposite side of the where Kelso is sitting, next to the couch. FEZ, Donna and Eric sits on the couch. - Looks like they are in Eric's basement]
FEZ: This feels nice.
KELSO: Yup. Things are going to be different in college.
HYDE: You guys. Doesn't this seem familar?
[Everyone shakes their head no]
ERIC: Yup! [puts feet on table] Totally different.
DONNA: Eric. I'm going to go to the bathroom. [gets up and leaves]
KELSO: Eric... you've been bringing Donna everywhere! We're not going to have fun with our college outing!
ERIC: Whu-What? What are you guys talking about?
HYDE: I didn't bring Jackie here.
KELSO: It's not good that she's with you everywhere all the time!!! Next thing you'll know... CLINGLY!
FEZ: Yes and now you cannot join our fun.
KELSO: Scooping out the ladies.
HYDE: Amazingly enough... Kelso's got a point.
KELSO: YES! See!
FEZ: Wow... this does feel different.
KELSO: Thank you!
ERIC: Hyde... you're going to check out other girls?
HYDE: I'm just going to kick back and relax and watch them come to me.
FEZ: Yes, we shall all relax in the Re-creation room.
[Commercial]
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[Kitty's bedroom. Jackie and Kitty are on Jackie's bed. Zoom on Jackie's face]
JACKIE: You were right Mrs. Forman. I feel much better. Thank you so much for everything.
KITTY: [voice only] It's no problem at all Jackie.
JACKIE: I just hope you like what I've done to your hair. [Zooms out, Kitty's hair is in big curls] Thank you for this.
KITTY: Dear... as long as you're feeling better.
JACKIE: I am! I don't need an I love you from the man I love. [pulls hard]
KITTY: Jackie... Ow...
JACKIE: Sorry Mrs. Forman. It's just so hard being with a man who you don't know loves you or not.
KITTY: Well... the first time Red said I love you was on our one year anniversary dating.
JACKIE: Hmm... I can see that we're not talking about me now, so what do you think about my hair?
[Kitty dazes off]
**************** PAST SEQUENCE **************************
[In a cool joint. Looks like Hub. Kitty in a poodle skirt and is dancing to the music. Red comes in in a soldier suit.]
KITTY: Oh Red! It's so great to see you! So... how was war? You had a good time? [Laughs]
RED: If you call bullets flying over our heads and gernades blasting everywhere fun... then sure.
KITTY: Wow Red! I've missed you.
RED: Kitty. I've missed you too. I've been meaning to tell you this for quite some time...
KITTY: Yes Red? [stares into his eyes]
RED: It's just... [stumbling]
KITTY: What Red? What?
[Frank dressed as a soldier comes in.]
FRANK: RED! Come quick! We're getting word about what's going on at the station!
RED: [looks at Frank] Ah Damn. [looks at Kitty] I got to take this.
KITTY: But Red! What do you have to tell me!
RED: [runs to Frank] Kitty... I love you! [leaves]
KITTY: [runs to door and is outside screaming] I love you too RED! I love you too!
RED: [comes back] Kitty... After being at war for so long... When we get married... I want a son... and he better not be a sissy boy! [kisses her and leaves]
[Kitty is dazed]
************* PAST SEQUENCE ENDS *********************
JACKIE: Mrs. Forman! Mrs. Forman!
KITTY: [not paying attention to Jackie] Oh Red... I love you too!
JACKIE: Voila! [hands Kitty mirror]
[Kitty's hair is sticking up in big curls. Looks funny. The curls are pointy in one direction, making her hair look like ears.]
KITTY: Oh Jackie... I don't know what to say.
JACKIE: Don't thank me! I know it's beautiful! Oh wow! I can't wait til Mr. Forman sees it!
KITTY: Oh God...
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[Recreation Room. Party. People are all over. Hyde is sitting in a chair next to the couch, drinking a beer. FEZ is dancing and scooping the ladies. Kelso is placing his arms around girls and is getting rejected. Eric and Donna are on ANOTHER the couch.]
GIRL: [to Hyde] Hey! I love your hair! [smiles] Wanna come to my room? I want to show you something.
HYDE: No thanks. I'm fine here.
[Girls leaves. FEZ comes in]
FEZ: What happened?!?!
HYDE: She wore a 'LOVE BOAT' shirt. I can't be with a girl who likes the LOVE BOAT...
FEZ: Yet, Jackie loves Unicorns and [gasp] YOU LOVE JACKIE!
HYDE: Shut your piehole.
FEZ: I'm sorry. Jackie Lover.
HYDE: [pretends to look through FEZ] FEZ! I think I see a naked chick there! [points to crowd]
FEZ: [turns and run] Where?!?!
[Eric and Donna are talking on the OTHER couch.]
ERIC: You want a drink? [starts to get up]
DONNA: Sure. I'll come with you. [starts to get up]
ERIC: [hesitates] No. It's okay. I can get it by myself.
DONNA: I know. but I want to go with you.
ERIC: [stops and sighs] Okay Look Donna.You can't keep following me all over the place.
DONNA: [annoyed] Excues me? Following YOU all over the place?
ERIC: [notices what he said] Just kidding... I... love you? [laughs nervously]
DONNA: Fine. I won't follow you. [walks away]
ERIC: No Donna! Wait. Damn! [walks to the punch bowl]
[Back to Hyde. Donna comes and sees girls hitting on Hyde]
HYDE: [to girl] No thanks. [girl leaves]
DONNA: [walks to Hyde] Wow. So many girls you turned down.
HYDE: Donna. I'm not keeping track of the SEVEN girls who offered a quick fixed.
DONNA: Oh? Could it be because of Jackie?
HYDE: [gets up and gets another beer] No. Why the hell would it be?
DONNA: I don't know. You tell me. [she smiles] You LOOOVVVEEE her!
HYDE: [looks at her. puts beer down hard] Damn Forman told you.
[Kelso comes behind Hyde trying to get a beer. Hyde doesn't see him]
DONNA: So is it true? You love her?
HYDE: [shakes head] I guess so
[Kelso makes a angry face. Donna sees him and is wide eyed. Hyde notices it.]
HYDE: Kelso's behind me, huh? [Donna nodds]
KELSO: [shrieks] WHAT?!?!?!
HYDE: [turns around] Hey man!
KELSO: You love her?!?! [Hyde remains quiet] OkaY! That draws the line!!! First you messed around with her! Then you didn' tell me! Then you started LIKING each other! Then became BOYFRIEND and GIRLFRIEND. Now you LOVE her???
[Everyone is surrounding them now. Including Eric who comes next to Donna]
HYDE: You can say that. Yeah.
KELSO: Of all the lowest things you can do HYDE!!! And I mean LOW! Like Below the belt low!!!
[Hyde is looking away accepting this, but has his fists clenched. Hyde is holding his anger. Eric is getting mad at Kelso]
ERIC: [goes up to Kelso] Yeah you know what Kelso. Yeah. Hyde loves Jackie and I don't know why and if that's possible. But by God, he does!
KELSO: ERIC! I didn't think the relationship was serious...
FEZ: Yeah... it was pretty creepy... but now you [to Hyde] loves her and that's okay.
KELSO: No it's not! You betrayed me.
HYDE: Look man. I don't want to fight. God knows what I can do to you.
KELSO: [points to Hyde] You're a bad bad bad friend! Bad!
ERIC: No Kelso! No! You're the bad friend. I know the whole Jackie and Hyde thing is crazy.
FEZ: VERY!
ERIC: Thank you. Very crazy... but GET OVER IT.
DONNA: Yeah, you and Jackie are over.
ERIC: You left her. Now Hyde, YOUR friend, has her. Who cares? Far be it that it's Jackie. You left her and all she wanted to do was... be... with... you [looks at Donna] Donna. I'm sorry. I'm a idiot.
DONNA: I know. [walks to Eric] It's okay.
ERIC: No... Not it's not okay. You're not clingy... I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry. I know you want to be with me. I'm sorry.
DONNA: Come on Eric. Let's leave these boys alone. [They walk away]
KELSO: [to Hyde] This isn't over.
[Girls comes up to Kelso.]
GIRL: I heard what happened. I'm sorry what happened to you. [puts arms around Kelso]
KELSO: Well... yes... [to Hyde] It's over for now! [goes to girl] As I was saying...
*******************************************************************
[Living room. Red is sitting on his chair. Kitty opens the door with a shaw on and tries to run upstairs. Red notices]
RED: Hello Kitty.
KITTY: [stops] Oh Hi Red.
RED: What's with the shaw?
KITTY: Oh you know kids! It's in! It's out!
RED: Kitty... take it off.
KITTY: Now RED! I'll be back!
RED: Kitty. Take it off. [Kitty takes it off. The hair is revealed] Why Kitty... umm... how lovely...
KITTY: [relieved] Really Red?
RED: Yeah... [Kitty hugs Red]
KITTY: Oh thank GOD! [she runs upstairs]
RED: [after she's out of sight] What the hell was that? Crazy psycho menopause... I didn't know it affected the hair too. Dammit.
*******************************************************************
[Forman Driveway. They came back and Jackie is waiting. They get out of the car.]
JACKIE: Hello Steve. You have a GOOD TIME??? [questions]
HYDE: Yeah It was cool.
JACKIE: So... what happened?
HYDE: Oh same oh.
JACKIE: [sees Donna doing the 'it's okay' sign] Oh... that's great to hear. Well Steven. Do you think we can go out tonight?
HYDE: Sure.
JACKIE: Great! I want to buy this LOVE BOAT shirt I've been having my eye on for weeks!
HYDE: [nodds] That's cool. [They walk out together]
FEZ: [watches them leave] Aww... [sigh] Hyde loves her.
[Credits]
*******************************************************************
[Kitchen Table. Red, Hyde, Kitty, Eric. Kitty has the hairdo still. Everyone is staring at her]
RED: Eric Stop looking at your mother.
KITTY: You know. Its okay. I'm fine with it.
[Hyde is staring at her hair]
KITTY: [snaps] STOP LOOKING LIKE I'M A FREAKING STATUE!!!
[Hyde looks away. Eric stares]
RED: Eric. Stop it.
ERIC: Sorry Mom. So... what's up? [innocently]
[Everyone stares at him]
*******************************************************************
