Chapter Ten

Angel's Office, LA USA – 2001

Standing straight and relaxed in the middle of the office, Angelus let his mind drift. It had been a hectic day so far, and he feared it only would get worse. All the senshi was supposed to come over to the Hyperion in an hour, and he had to admit he didn't look forwards to it.

When he and empress Serenity had joined to send the souls of the Selenians into the future, he had thought that his days of leadership and warfare were over. That he never would have to lead a people again, that he never would have to send people to their potential deaths on the battlefield ever again. He had thought he could live a normal, happy life as everyone else. Or as normal and happy it could be for a vampire who had lost his soul mate and family. But now, it didn't seem so. Not at all.

Sighing, Angelus automatically took off his jacket and took the first position in a form he had created back in the days of the Silver Millennia to relax. He certainly needed it. Then he tensed. Someone had entered the room.

Whirling around, Angelus prepared to face whomever it had been to sneak up at him like that, a feat he had thought impossible. And promptly found himself staring at the woman he considered the most beautiful in the universe, even though she was bleak and red eyed from tears for the moment. Briseis' incarnation Buffy Summers.

"Br…Buffy," he quietly said, a hint of a question in his voice.

Swallowing visibly, she didn't say anything for a minute, just standing there and looking at him with her beautiful silvergreen eyes. Then she spoke.

"Angel," she hesitantly whispered. "I…I came to apologize. For hitting you.  I shouldn't have…"

Heart aching, Angelus looked sadly at the young woman he loved. Oh how he wished she had her memories! Or that it at least was possible for them to be together, that they were pertmitted to love and cherish each other as they had done at the ancient times.

"No," he seriously agreed. "You shouldn't have. But neither should I have let it go on for so long. I knew…I should know better than that. "

She gave him a surprised look, her eyes still shiny with unfilled tears. Her fists were clenched at her sides, gripping the fabric of her flowing, rosepatterned tunic almost desperately.

"You should have known better?" Buffy unsurely stated, her voice somewhat less sad now. "Why should you have known better? I was the one who initiated the fight by coming here…after Faith."

Angelus looked steadily into her eyes. He had to make her see that the fault was his, and his alone.

"Because I have lived for longer than you truly can comprehend," he seriously said. "Because I've seen jealousy before, because I knew how you, a young woman without my centuries of experience, would react. I could have calmed you down, explained the whole matter to you and helped you and Faith resolve your issues. But instead I acted on the jealousy, guilt, hurt and anger I carried inside, doing considerable damage to our relationship in the process. And for that I am sorry. I should have known better because I love you and because I knew what would happen."

She gazed into his brown eyes a moment, tears in her own ones, then smiled tentatively at him. A small light had returned to her eyes where only sorrow had resided before.

"Always the wise guy, huh," she softly commented, her voice affectionate. "But I guess you have to gain some wisdom if you live for as long as you…"

A shudder ripped her body, their eyes meeting on a deeper level for a second before the blonde slayer threw herself into her lovers arms, nestling into his embrace so urgently it almost seemed that she wanted to crawl into him and stay there for the rest of her days.

"Don't leave me alone again!" she desperately begged him. "It's so hard being without you. I…I feel like I'm missing a part of myself, I can't think…can't breathe!"

Wishing for the pain to end, Angelus held her slim body tight to his own, his face buried deep in her honey-coloured hair, eyes closed and filled with tears he couldn't fell.

"I don't want to," he replied in obvious distress. "I hurt too, so very much… But Buffy, we have different lives now. You live in Sunnydale, I am…here. We both have our responsibilities we can't leave behind. And…there are…things…going on here right now, bringing on events neither you or I can rule over. They will change me, reveal things about me you may not like. And if you stay, the same thing would happen to you…"

Clutching onto him, Buffy shook her head vehemently. Her fingers tangled themselves in his hair, grasping at every part of him available. She never wanted to let him go.

"I can't leave you again!" she cried out, anguish evident in her every move. "I don't care about changes, all I want to do is be with you! I'll…I'll move here, finish school here. I Slayed here before, I can do it again…"

Gently loosening her grip on him, Angelus made one of the hardest decisions in his life. Lifting her chin to make her look into his face, he caressed her cheek, expressing his love for in the only way he could right now.

"I love you Buffy," he quietly said, "I have loved you since the dawn of time and will continue to its end, but we can't. Not right now. You are needed in Sunnydale…I am needed here. Even though our love unites us, our destinies currently pulls us apart. Before, I tried to fix that, but now I understand. This isn't the time for us to be together. You still need to grow, still need to do your own thing. And because I love you, I will let you go. For now."

She was crying now, heart wrenching sobs that cut right into his heart. But he could see the understanding in her eyes. Buffy maybe was a teenager, but in mind, she was an adult and more. And in that moment, Angelus saw the beginnings of the Briseis he had known for so long ago. Maybe the wait wouldn't be so long after all…

"I know," she silently said through her crying eyes. "I just… I wish…"

Putting a cool finger on her lips, Angelus gave her a single look of understanding. Then he let her go completely, stepping back, his own tears flooding down his cheeks by now. Buffy gave him a last look before turning around, walking to the door once again. There, she paused, turning around a last time, a bittersweet smile on her face.

"Am I still your girl?" she quietly asked.

A weak but true smile touched Angelus' lips.

"Always," he promised her.

And as the door swung shut behind her, he knew this was the end of the beginning.

Even as Buffy waited for the bus to Sunnydale, her mind kept going back to her reunion with Angel. Something had been different about her undead lover, something important. He seemed less burdened in a way, and so much for in balance. Not to mention that she couldn't sense Angelus as clearly as she once could. What was going on?

Seeing the bus pulling up, Buffy shrugged. She trusted Angel with her life and more. He could take care of himself. And at the moment, she quite frankly doubted she could do the same with herself. She was living a lie at the moment, a lie she had weaved around herself since Angel left. But she was finally intending to take care of that. It was time to live her life after her own will again and grow up. No one would decide her life for her ever again.

Smiling determinedly, she slipped into an empty seat on the bus and irritatedly tried to cross her legs before realizing that her current cloths didn't allow for so much movement.

'Well, first thing to do will be fixing my wardrobe,' she irritatedly thought. 'And then I will have to do talk to Giles. I have been taking my duties way to lightly lately. Thankfully, that, I can do something about. But then we have Riley…'

When the bus pulled out, the blonde slayer was already plotting on how to take her life back, not knowing what a turn it would take. But even if she had known, she would have followed her current course. For the path she followed, promised a bright future if she got through the coming years.

Hyperion, LA USA – year 2001

When Angelus entered the foyer of the former hotel Hyperion, he was pleased to notice that the favor he'd asked from Cordelia and Wesley had been executed, and that beyond his expectations. He had asked them to arrange seating for his meeting with the rest of the incarnates and maybe something to snack on. They had created a semicircle of three couches from different places in the house just a few steps away from the counter where several bowls with fruit and similar foods were laid up. Coffee had been prepared and was now resting quietly at the hotplate to be served. For those of a different mind, the counter also held juice and hot water for tea.

Smiling slightly, Angelus made a mental point of thanking Cor and Wes for their well-done job later. They certainly deserved it, as well as a bonus in their paycheck. He sighed. Time to get ready.

Jogging up the broad staircase, Angelus headed for the bedroom he had taken for himself, wanting to get a change of cloths and a shower before greeting his guests. The cloths left after Mich's last boyfriend was nice and all that, but they weren't exactly his size – or style for that matter. He smirked. Even though they once had been his style. But he had been several centuries younger back then and still in his comulsive 'have to look dashing' stage.

When he returned downstairs, he was once again dressed in comfortable, black dress pants and a traditional white shirt. While he didn't want to look dressed up for their little get together, he did want to remind them just who he was. For there were things, they needed to decide. And that without the squabbles that was part of every human's adolesence since the dawn of time.

Fetching one of his prized swords from his nearby weapons cabinet, he sat down in the armchair placed in the flat end of the semicircle to wait for his guests to arrive. Starting to sharpen it, he let his mind drift at the soothing sounds and movements. Waiting for his guests to arrive was no reason to be lazy. And besides, he had knicked that sword rather badly on a Kazoka demon just the other week. He might as well do something about it now that he had the time.