DISCLAIMER: Maybe I should think of something creative to do for a disclaimer....but for now, you'll just have to deal with "I don't own any ccs characters. They all belong to CLAMP, Nelvana....and who ever else. So don't sue me 'cuz I'm poor!"




saKUra and SAkuRA




"It's the leader of a country, Diaten's the name of the capital, we're after this time. It's a guy. He has the key of Hate." Once again, Rika was briefing them all on their new environment.

"That's ominous sounding," Syaoran commented.

"Isn't it? But the place is supposed to be really nice," Rika responded.

"Warm?"

"If I have to 'save' Ruby Moon-" Yue left off on the threatening note.

"It'll be warm, but not like Ishtar. It's supposed to be perfect. I guess that means weather we're used to," Rika said, a little of her old self shining true. "You needn't worry about saving Nakuru, Yue."

"Which really is too bad, Yue daaaaaahling," Nakuru rolled word off her tongue like candy. Yue snorted and glared at Ruby Moon.

"We get there in a few days right?" Eriol asked, ignoring their antics.

Rika nodded. "Two more keys after this one and then we're done." A flash of uncertainty flickered on her expression, but Eriol was the only one who noticed.

He had been watching her recently. He had to admit. Rika did an admirable job on hiding what was going on and keeping everyone's spirits up. Eriol tried to be as cheerful as everyone else at the prospect of only two keys left, but he couldn't find it in him to even plaster a smile on his face. Syaoran was so sure he'd get Sakura back. Nakuru, Suppi, Kero, and Yue were also happy that the journey was halfway over.

The only person he could possibly identify with was Rika, but except for the time he had accidentally overheard her talking with herself, he had not once heard her say anything that revealed any uncertainty. Rika needed to be awarded for her bravery, but perhaps another time. Now was not an appropriate time to put on a show.

He wanted to confront her, not in a threatening way, but to see if there was anything any of them could do to help. He knocked on her door. Nakuru was not in the room.

"Come in," was the soft reply.

Eriol entered and was surprised to see a slightly red-eyed Rika. His face must have registered some surprise, "What? Does it show?" she asked, turning away.

"Does what show?"

"Don't play dumb. I was crying."

Eriol sighed. "Yeah. A little."

"Are you going to tell them?" she asked. "They can't know."

"I'm not going to tell."

Rika shuffled some papers she had on her desk. "So why did you come see me?"

"Rika...I don't know how to say this..." Eriol hesitated. How was he supposed to ask her what he wanted to know?

"Just ask. Forget about everything. In fact, if you want to, pretend I'm not here and talk to the wall."

"Impossible. Forget it. I'll just say it. You don't know where Hope is, do you?" he said. It came out in an accusing tone, but that wasn't how he meant it.

"Do you think it's my fault?" she retorted quietly, trying to mask the anger rising in her.

"That's not what I meant, Rika. It came out the wrong way."

"Did it?" Rika asked, resigned. She'd swallowed her anger.

"Do you...I mean...what do you...I mean. What are you going to do?"

"I don't have all the answers. And the uncertainty's killing me Eriol. It's killing me," Rika leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

"No one ever has all the answers. I never had all the answers."

"This is different though. No one's going to disappear forever because you didn't know. If I don't know, you'll never see Tomoyo again, I'll never see Yoshiyuki again. Hell, Syaoran might not even get Sakura back. You know, at one point, I wished I'm gotten pregnant with his child. That way, even if we didn't go back, I'd still have something. And something's better than nothing at all." Eriol was silent. What could he say? Rika had said everything he had meant to say already and more.

"I hate this, Eriol," Rika said in a whisper that was barely audible. "I hate all the uncertainty. I hate the weight of the world on my shoulders. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. If you told me you'd ever felt like this I'd never believe you. I'd laugh at you. It's impossible for anyone to feel like this unless they've been in my place." Rika swallowed and took in a trembling breath. She opened her eyes and looked at Eriol. "But most of all, I hate who I'm becoming."

Her statement took him by surprise. He was not aware that Rika knew she had changed. Rika put her face in her hands. "I hate who I'm turning into. Some days, I wake up and I don't know who I am anymore. Sometimes, I can feel the darkness in my soul. It's like acid, Eriol. It's eating away at me. I don't know how long I can keep up this stupid charade of nonchalance. It's like ice. I'm emotionless, and the emotions that I do show are...are...they're carved into me. They're all I have left of who I was before."

She wiped away the tears that had fallen and laughed bitterly. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. You can't even help me. I'm supposed to have all the answers....but I don't," she repeated, breaking into a fresh round of quiet sobs.

So, even Rika was close to her breaking point. Eriol let out an equally bitter "Ha!" Rika looked at him through teary eyes. "I thought I was the only one who was on the edge of complete dispair," he said. "I remembered that you didn't know where the Key of Hope was and I almost went crazy in here," he said, pointing to his heart. "I'm not used to sitting around and not being able to do anything. And you know what, Rika, the uncertainty is killing me too."

They looked at each other for a few moments. "So what do you do when you're nearly out of hope?" Rika whispered.

Eriol could only shake his head. He knew that he wasn't alone now, but some how, that made him even more depressed than when he thought he was alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sobek stared off into space. He was exhausted. All day, he had worked on a simulation of his prisoner, Sakura. He needed to illusion to be substantial, so people wouldn't know it was an illusion. He needed to know how the real Sakura acted and how the real Sakura kept herself. Sobek could not hurt Sakura in any way, nor could he change her using his magic. So he had to make a puppet of her. It needed to be exactally like her.

If his plan worked, this clone would be the downfall of the Child of Light and the Child of Dark. Two titles, one person. He could fell Rika Sasaki in one shot if his plan worked. If his plan worked.

The real Sakura would never knowingly betray her beloved. What was his name? Syaoran. She would never do that. Sobek could not magically alter her to do that either. He was going to send his puppet to retrieve the key of Hate. The next key Rika and her little group was after. Syaoran would be so stunned that his precious Sakura had betrayed them all that he would be incapacitated. All the rest would stop what they were doing to take care of him. Then Sobek could offer Sakura in exchange for Rika. He'd show them the real Sakura then, perhaps just an illusion though. He'd yet to fix all the details.

Sobek chucked. "This is going to be plenty of fun. Plenty of fun."

His expression became serious though, when the Bauble floated in. Slowly. Sobek knew where it had been. When ever it was anywhere close to Sakura, it started to move slowly. As if Sakura was taking his bauble's energy. He couldn't exactally order the bauble to stay away from her, it's observations were what he based his simulacrum on. He needed it to be close to her sometimes.

Sobek sighed and held out the palm of his hand. The bauble rested in it, giving Sobek what it'd seen of Sakura. The bauble always kept some to itself though. Sobek didn't know that, but the entity controlling the bauble always restrained the bauble from dumping all it's memories into Sobek, because once Sobek had them, the bauble would forget; it would not be able to see those memories again. Somethings, the bauble needed to keep.

Sobek was very sure his simuation was going to be extremely convincing. He'd checked everything continuously. It was a good thing he was ready to soon. By his watch, the Child of Light and Dark was going to arrive in Diaten soon. Everything needed to be in place. Sobek uncovered a statue in the corner of his study, revealing an exact copy of Sakura.

"Wake up, Sakura Kinomoto," Sobek passed his hand over her face, giving life to the automaton.

The clone's eye's fluttered open. That was the one thing Sobek always bothered himself over. They eyes. The imitation's eyes were too dark. They were almost hazle, they were that dark. He could never get the color to match the real Sakura's, and if he wasn't careful, that was exactally how he would be discovered. Because of the eyes.

"The same way I found out I'd gotten the wrong girl," Sobek mused. It was funny how fate did play such tricks.

The imitation looked boldly at Sobek. "What do you want?" it asked almost rudely and then giggled. "I mean, oh my gosh, what have you done with Syaoran?" she pretended to look around for him and then collapsing into a fit of giggles at Sobek's side.

"I didn't find that funny, Sakura," Sobek reprimanded. "You're really supposed to mean it."

"Fine then," the dark-eyed Sakura cleared her throat and started again. "Let me go back to Syaoran, Sobek. Please. Please," she pleaded, sounding very much like the real thing.

"That's better," Sobek sounded slightly pleased.

"Did you like it?" she whispered flirtatiously.

He turned around. "Save it for Syaoran," he told her causticlly.

"When do I get someone to play with?" she pouted.

"Soon. Soon, I'll send you there in a few days. For now though, you need to remember what you're supposed to do there."

"Yadda, yadda, I know, I know. Get in with Syaoran and get him to convince Rika to let me see the keys so I can take them," she sounded slightly bored. After all, Sobek had only rehearsed the events with her every time she woke up.

The bauble floated in front of her face, flashing pictures of Syaoran and the others into her mind. This was the first time she had seen any of them, and she was likeing what she saw.

"Whoa, that Eriol kid is kinda cute," she said, sticking her tongue out a little.

"Syaoran, Sakura, Syaoran," Sobek reminded her.

"I know, I know. Whoa! He's cute too! Dang, Sakura has good looking friends."

"Sakura," Sobek growled warningly.

"I was talking about Syaoran, and emphasis on the 'ku', Sobek dear," Sakura reminded him for the nth time. Right from the beginning, to differentiate from the real Sakura in conversation, she'd insisted that Sobek call her saKUra not SAkuRA.

"I'm not you're dear." The fake Sakura could be a handful sometimes. She was more headstrong than the real thing. It was a good thing she was able to hide it when she had to. Sobek sighed. "Have you got their faces in your memory? The Bauble might not be able to show them to you again." Sometimes, he wondered if he would be able to control her. To reel her in again.

Sakura nodded. She smiled to herself and glared at the wall above Sobek's head. She would do what she was supposed to do. Oh, yes, yes, yes. The eagerness was almost uncontrollable. She would do everything Sobek told her to do, and maybe, she blinked slowly. Deffinately. She would surpass expectations.







a/n: Did the two ways of pronouncing Sakura make sense? Another character to play with. Goodie. bwahahahahaha XD