Life was getting more confusing by the nanosecond. I thought that whole
Malfoy problem was enough. But then, Harry just had to make me feel guilty.
It was during dinner that night when it happened. I thought everything was bad as it was already-until Harry came with the guilt-trip.
"Hey, Herm," Harry greeted me, sitting by me. "Have you seen Ron around?"
My heart dropped 20 miles. "Uh, no, Harry, uh, not yet," I stammered. "Why?"
"Good. Because I want to talk to you," he replied, scooting closer to me. "'Mione, I just want you to tell me one thing, okay? No lying involved."
I nodded, "Yeah. Sure."
"Okay, well, are you aware that Ron is in love with you? And I mean, head over heels in love?"
"A bit, yes," I stammered.
"So why do you keep on ending up with jerk-face Malfoy?" Harry asked, accusingly. "And I mean ending up with him with your tongue literally down his throat."
Our eyes met for the briefest second.
"Harry, I-"
"What? Did this all end up by chance? Pure accident?" he accused. "What, Hermione? What?"
I could not believe that he was acting like this. "Harry, what's wrong?"
"You know Ron's completely in love with you, yet you end up being with Malfoy-"
"Excuse me! But I do NOT end up being with Malfoy!"
"That's not what Ron and I saw."
"What?"
"Yeah. That's right, Hermione. We were scared that Malfoy would jump you once you left the room for the girls' room. So, we gave a wee peek out the door once you left, and saw you and Malfoy enter a forbidden chamber. But he left the door cracked slightly, and we could see everything. Everything, Hermione, everything."
"You spied on me?"
"Spying is a rather strong word, don't you think? It was more of...invading your guys' privacy while your mouths were giving each other a grand tour!"
I said nothing. There we go. I was caught. I was caught in this game. Oh my god. This is a game. Malfoy was right. Holy crap. "Harry, did you both...hear everything, too?"
"Only bits and bits," he answered, not looking at me. "Why? Was there something that should concern us being spoken by eager lovers?"
"We are not lovers," I said sternly.
"Then what are you, Hermione? Two teenagers in need of some fun?"
I looked at him. "Harry, you know I'm not like that-"
"I also knew that you'd never kiss Malfoy. But I was wrong. How do I know if I'm right about you still being the same person you were a year ago, when Malfoy was the scum that lived at the bottom of the earth?" he mocked.
"You don't, Harry. Because I should be the one who should tell you."
"Exactly."
"Well, screw loyalty and trust. Because I'm tired of being this dork Hermione who couldn't be f*cked by anyone; I'm tired of being this prefect duplication of a good girl with no future relationships that I call Mom; I'm tired of this crap called love. Screw love. I give it all up."
"But Ron can give you that kind of love, Hermione!"
"But I can't give him the same, Harry. I can't love him the way he loves me- "
"So try!"
"I can't try to love him! If I could, I would in a second. But I can't. Okay? So, I just want to have something that I knew that good Hermione never could have. I want Draco."
Harry was silent for a moment. "Did you just call him Draco?"
Our eyes met. God, I was in too deep. I couldn't take it. So I ran out of the Great Hall. No one followed me. No one looked. No one called my name. That's just how I wanted it to be.
*
I went to the Gryffindor common room instead of my room in the Head Boy/Girl chambers. I was afraid that Malfoy might be there.
I was alone. Nikole was already out in the forests, saving the world again. Ron was off somewhere crying his heart out for no reason, and about me, nonetheless. Harry was still in the Great Hall, greatly pissed off at my attitude toward this situation, which (And didn't I mention) was hopeless. Malfoy was probably off f*cking up some girl named Lila or Janice. Lavender was probably making out with Chad Brunswick, the Quidditch captain of Ravenclaw. Everyone else was at supper, ignoring the fact that the world could end at possibly any moment.
I leaned my head back against the couch and inhaled deeply. Things were not supposed to turn out this way. How did this even start? Oh yeah. Snape. It was Snape. It was his fault. Joy to the world. No wonder things were becoming a living hell for me. Snape!
Talk about evil.
God, what was I even worrying about? I am so confused. "Okay. Hermione, just be organized. You're supposed to be and you need to be. It's just the way life is," I said to myself. But, I realized that I haven't been so organized for the past weeks.
My life was wonderful. I knew I couldn't just let myself go like I did in that chamber with Malfoy. It would just make things worse.
The portrait opened and Harry appeared. He appeared more "mysterious," if you will, than usual. His eyes just carried this secret that only he knows. He had no smile, instead he had a funny little line made with his lips.
He walked up to me and sat down.
We stared into the fire for a few minutes before I said, "Why are you here?"
"Because I want to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk."
"We have to."
"No we don't."
"Yes we do."
"No we don't. Me and Ron have to talk."
He said nothing. I turned around and our eyes met for the longest time. He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back.
His lips tasted sweet when they crushed mine. His hands found their way to my waist and he gently rubbed my sides and worked their way down to my thighs. My hands were draped over his shoulders as I played with his mangy, black hair.
Oxygen was knocking on our lungs as we broke the kiss and inhaled the golden, precious air.
"What just happened?" a voice asked from behind Harry.
I looked over Harry's shoulder and saw Ron. I bit my lip and closed my eyes.
"Ron!" Harry exclaimed, running toward his friend. "Ron, it's not what it looks like-"
"Then tell me what it is that I saw," Ron demanded.
God, things were just plain bad.
"Ron, I-" Harry stammered.
"You were just snogging Hermione, Harry," Ron said in a flat voice. "I saw it."
"But how-"
"I saw you coming in here, so I followed. I didn't think what you were about to do would kill me so much, you a**hole." Ron looked at me. "And you, you bloody slut, you're just jumping from guy to b*stard aren't you?" he accused.
"I'm not a slut, Ron!" I yelled. "How could you say that? Just because I don't love you-"
"Shut the hell up," Ron spat.
"Why don't you, Ron!" Harry answered.
"You're on her side now, Potter? Just because she kissed you?"
"Actually," I interrupted. "He kissed. I just gratefully responded." I smiled wickedly at the boy who used to be my friend.
Harry glared at me.
"You know what, Ron? I'd rather f*ck Harry than you," I remarked. "Because he can actually kiss."
Ron glared at me. "You are a b*tch."
"So are you." I placed my hand on Harry's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "See you later, scar boy." I walked briskly past him and Ron and out the portrait.
A smile of victory was plastered on my face. Now, I had to deal with Malfoy.
Bring it on.
It was during dinner that night when it happened. I thought everything was bad as it was already-until Harry came with the guilt-trip.
"Hey, Herm," Harry greeted me, sitting by me. "Have you seen Ron around?"
My heart dropped 20 miles. "Uh, no, Harry, uh, not yet," I stammered. "Why?"
"Good. Because I want to talk to you," he replied, scooting closer to me. "'Mione, I just want you to tell me one thing, okay? No lying involved."
I nodded, "Yeah. Sure."
"Okay, well, are you aware that Ron is in love with you? And I mean, head over heels in love?"
"A bit, yes," I stammered.
"So why do you keep on ending up with jerk-face Malfoy?" Harry asked, accusingly. "And I mean ending up with him with your tongue literally down his throat."
Our eyes met for the briefest second.
"Harry, I-"
"What? Did this all end up by chance? Pure accident?" he accused. "What, Hermione? What?"
I could not believe that he was acting like this. "Harry, what's wrong?"
"You know Ron's completely in love with you, yet you end up being with Malfoy-"
"Excuse me! But I do NOT end up being with Malfoy!"
"That's not what Ron and I saw."
"What?"
"Yeah. That's right, Hermione. We were scared that Malfoy would jump you once you left the room for the girls' room. So, we gave a wee peek out the door once you left, and saw you and Malfoy enter a forbidden chamber. But he left the door cracked slightly, and we could see everything. Everything, Hermione, everything."
"You spied on me?"
"Spying is a rather strong word, don't you think? It was more of...invading your guys' privacy while your mouths were giving each other a grand tour!"
I said nothing. There we go. I was caught. I was caught in this game. Oh my god. This is a game. Malfoy was right. Holy crap. "Harry, did you both...hear everything, too?"
"Only bits and bits," he answered, not looking at me. "Why? Was there something that should concern us being spoken by eager lovers?"
"We are not lovers," I said sternly.
"Then what are you, Hermione? Two teenagers in need of some fun?"
I looked at him. "Harry, you know I'm not like that-"
"I also knew that you'd never kiss Malfoy. But I was wrong. How do I know if I'm right about you still being the same person you were a year ago, when Malfoy was the scum that lived at the bottom of the earth?" he mocked.
"You don't, Harry. Because I should be the one who should tell you."
"Exactly."
"Well, screw loyalty and trust. Because I'm tired of being this dork Hermione who couldn't be f*cked by anyone; I'm tired of being this prefect duplication of a good girl with no future relationships that I call Mom; I'm tired of this crap called love. Screw love. I give it all up."
"But Ron can give you that kind of love, Hermione!"
"But I can't give him the same, Harry. I can't love him the way he loves me- "
"So try!"
"I can't try to love him! If I could, I would in a second. But I can't. Okay? So, I just want to have something that I knew that good Hermione never could have. I want Draco."
Harry was silent for a moment. "Did you just call him Draco?"
Our eyes met. God, I was in too deep. I couldn't take it. So I ran out of the Great Hall. No one followed me. No one looked. No one called my name. That's just how I wanted it to be.
*
I went to the Gryffindor common room instead of my room in the Head Boy/Girl chambers. I was afraid that Malfoy might be there.
I was alone. Nikole was already out in the forests, saving the world again. Ron was off somewhere crying his heart out for no reason, and about me, nonetheless. Harry was still in the Great Hall, greatly pissed off at my attitude toward this situation, which (And didn't I mention) was hopeless. Malfoy was probably off f*cking up some girl named Lila or Janice. Lavender was probably making out with Chad Brunswick, the Quidditch captain of Ravenclaw. Everyone else was at supper, ignoring the fact that the world could end at possibly any moment.
I leaned my head back against the couch and inhaled deeply. Things were not supposed to turn out this way. How did this even start? Oh yeah. Snape. It was Snape. It was his fault. Joy to the world. No wonder things were becoming a living hell for me. Snape!
Talk about evil.
God, what was I even worrying about? I am so confused. "Okay. Hermione, just be organized. You're supposed to be and you need to be. It's just the way life is," I said to myself. But, I realized that I haven't been so organized for the past weeks.
My life was wonderful. I knew I couldn't just let myself go like I did in that chamber with Malfoy. It would just make things worse.
The portrait opened and Harry appeared. He appeared more "mysterious," if you will, than usual. His eyes just carried this secret that only he knows. He had no smile, instead he had a funny little line made with his lips.
He walked up to me and sat down.
We stared into the fire for a few minutes before I said, "Why are you here?"
"Because I want to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk."
"We have to."
"No we don't."
"Yes we do."
"No we don't. Me and Ron have to talk."
He said nothing. I turned around and our eyes met for the longest time. He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back.
His lips tasted sweet when they crushed mine. His hands found their way to my waist and he gently rubbed my sides and worked their way down to my thighs. My hands were draped over his shoulders as I played with his mangy, black hair.
Oxygen was knocking on our lungs as we broke the kiss and inhaled the golden, precious air.
"What just happened?" a voice asked from behind Harry.
I looked over Harry's shoulder and saw Ron. I bit my lip and closed my eyes.
"Ron!" Harry exclaimed, running toward his friend. "Ron, it's not what it looks like-"
"Then tell me what it is that I saw," Ron demanded.
God, things were just plain bad.
"Ron, I-" Harry stammered.
"You were just snogging Hermione, Harry," Ron said in a flat voice. "I saw it."
"But how-"
"I saw you coming in here, so I followed. I didn't think what you were about to do would kill me so much, you a**hole." Ron looked at me. "And you, you bloody slut, you're just jumping from guy to b*stard aren't you?" he accused.
"I'm not a slut, Ron!" I yelled. "How could you say that? Just because I don't love you-"
"Shut the hell up," Ron spat.
"Why don't you, Ron!" Harry answered.
"You're on her side now, Potter? Just because she kissed you?"
"Actually," I interrupted. "He kissed. I just gratefully responded." I smiled wickedly at the boy who used to be my friend.
Harry glared at me.
"You know what, Ron? I'd rather f*ck Harry than you," I remarked. "Because he can actually kiss."
Ron glared at me. "You are a b*tch."
"So are you." I placed my hand on Harry's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "See you later, scar boy." I walked briskly past him and Ron and out the portrait.
A smile of victory was plastered on my face. Now, I had to deal with Malfoy.
Bring it on.
