Episode 14: School Spirit Wisconsin!
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[Forman Basement. Hyde, Donna, Eric, Kelso and FEZ. Hyde is in his chair, Donna, Eric, and FEZ are in the seats, and Kelso is in his seat - they are watching TV]
HYDE: Another Happy Days rerun?
ERIC: [disgusted] Oh man... when are they going to outcool the Fonz?
KELSO: Hello? Earth to Eric! No one can outcool the Fonz... that's like out hotting me! And we all know that's not going to happen.
FEZ: Amend to you brother!
DONNA: I don't know... the Chochie and the Joanie moments are cool.
HYDE: No they're not. It's boring.
KELSO: [looks at Eric] Yeah... kinda reminds me of your relationship.
[Hyde and Kelso laugh]
DONNA: Wait that's not funny. We are not boring!
ERIC: Donna... calm down. You're too tense. You know that gives you headaches.
[Jackie rushes in from the side door.]
JACKIE: [happy] Oh My God! Guess what happened?!?!
FEZ: [stands up] You decided to break up with Hyde to be with me! [opens his arms wide to her]
JACKIE: [disgusted looking at FEZ] No... [back to the group] The Point Place Pep Squad has made it to the semi-finals! We might go to state!
DONNA / KELSO / ERIC / FEZ / HYDE: [mumble] Oh good for you! / Hot chicls / Oh / Yay for Point place / Eh
JACKIE: What?! Oh come on guys! Steven! [goes over to him] Aren't you happy for me!
HYDE: Why Jackie? It's just cheerleading.
JACKIE: Just Cheerleading? Just Cheerleading? I have you know without us, the football team would be nothing.
KELSO: That's true. Without the cheerleaders, guys wouldn't be motivated to win and then do it with the cheerleaders.
FEZ: [stands up] I'm happy for you Jackie! [jumps up and down] Ra ra!
JACKIE: Okay FEZ... [to the gang] So... who's going to go to the semi-finals to watch me!!?!?!
[Everyone is quiet.]
KELSO: I'll go!
ERIC: Why would you want to go?
KELSO: Eric... short skirts will be flying everywhere man! Think about it... SHORT SKIRTS!
DONNA: Well.. you guys know my thoughts on cheerleading. It's just making women more degrading.
JACKIE: Oh that's what every girl who didn't make the team says!
DONNA: Hey! I could of been a cheerleader!
FEZ: I shall go and support you... and comfort the sad, lonely cheerleaders who do not win.
ERIC: I guess I'll go...
DONNA: Yeah me too. Even tho I'm against it, I'll be there to support you.
JACKIE: Why thank you, you guys!
[Everyone turns to Hyde who is still reading the magazine.]
JACKIE: Steven?
HYDE: [looks at them] What?
JACKIE: Are you going to come and support me?
HYDE: Jackie... cheerleading events aren't my thing.
JACKIE: Come on Steven!
ERIC: Yeah Hyde... where's your SCHOOL SPIRIT!?!
[Credits]
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[The Hub. Jackie, Hyde, Kelso, FEZ, Donna and Eric are sitting in a booth. Kelso and FEZ are at the ordering window. Some girls dressed in cheerleading outfits come in. On the shirt part it says Southside. A blonde one is in the middle, and there is a Asian one on the side and a black girl on the other side.]
JACKIE: [sees them] Eck... it's the Southside Cheerleaders.
DONNA: So?
JACKIE: So??? They are up against us for the semi-finals. And eck! It's the head cheerleader, Jax. What kind of name is Jax?
ERIC: Gee Jackie. I don't know. A girl's name?
HYDE: [looking at the girls] I see nothing wrong.
[The three cheerleaders walk see Jackie and walks towards her table.]
JAX: Well if it isn't Jackie Burkhart. What a surprise to see you in a cool place like this.
JACKIE: I was wondering why you were here.
JAX: Oh whatever Burkhart. We are going to win this competition and Point Place Cheerleaders could just kiss our winning perfect pyramid asses!
JACKIE: [stands up] Oh we shall see about that!
[Kelso and FEZ walk to the table]
FEZ: Ohhhh... two girls fighting!
KELSO: FEZ, remember... we have to be quiet about this. [looks at them] TAKE IT OFF!
JAX: [looks at Kelso] Well hello Michael. [walks over to Kelso]
KELSO: Hey Jax. Long time no see.
JAX: [plays with his arm] Hey Michael... you going to support us Southside Cheerleaders, right?
KELSO: Of course!
FEZ: Hello. I am FEZ. I'll come and support you.
JACKIE: FEZ! MICHAEL!
FEZ: [To Jackie] Shhh not now Jackie! [to girls] Yes... go Southside!
JAX: That's so sweet. [to Kelso] So Michael, you're going to call me?
KELSO: Yeah. Of course!
JAX: Good! I'll be expecting a call.
KELSO: Really? From who?
JAX: [rolls her eyes] From you! Missa! Holly! Let's go!
MISSA [Asian one]: [to Hyde] Hey... when you get sick of Point Place girls... try some Southside girls.
[The three cheerleaders leave.]
HYDE: [sighs] Been there, done that.
JACKIE: The nerve of them coming here to the Hub!
ERIC: Yeah... cuz the Hub. Yeah. I don't think anyone should come here and sit and want to eat in here.
JACKIE: FEZ? Michael? What was that about?
FEZ: I'm sorry Jackie. They were wearing short skirts and theirs breasts were as big as melons!
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[Eric's Room. Donna and Eric are making out on the bed. Eric on top of her]]
DONNA: [stops] Eric... do you think we're boring?
ERIC: [annoyed] Donna. That was a tricky move, I need your full concentration. [goes back to her neck]
DONNA: I mean it Eric. Are we boring?
ERIC: [gets up] Donna! Of course not. We're not boring. We have so much fun that it's not even funny. [quiet] See... no one's laughing.
DONNA: I don't know. Let's go out and do something!
ERIC: Donna... we were doing something.
DONNA: Something fun!
ERIC: [looks around and does obvious face] Hello?
DONNA: [she gets up and opens the door] Come on! Let's go!
ERIC: [on the bed] Or... we can stay here and have some fun!
[Donna leaves.]
ERIC: What? What did I say? [pauses] Fine! [gets up and follows her] I'm coming...
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[Forman living room. Jackie and a bunch of other girls dressed in Point Place Cheer Outfits. All the furniture has been moved. Hyde, Kelso and FEZ are watching the girls practice.]
JACKIE: Okay... let's do it! We need to beat those Southside Skanks!
GIRLS: Okay!
JACKIE: 1... 2... 3...
[Red, Kitty, and Bob enters]
RED: What the hell?
JACKIE: Mr. Forman.
RED: What are these ra-ra girls doing in MY house?
CHEERLEADER 1: We're not ra-ra girls! We're cheerleaders!
KITTY: Ya could had fooled me! [laughs]
BOB: So what are you guys doing here for?
JACKIE: We have a major competition coming up!
RED: [to the guys] Why are you here?
KELSO: Uhh... we are here to SUPPORT them for the major competition coming up!
FEZ: And they are wearing short skirts!
RED: Get out!
[Kelso and FEZ walk out to the kitchen. Hyde remains.]
HYDE: She's my girlfriend.
RED: Oh... [pauses] Get out!
[Hyde gets out to the kitchen]
BOB: [to Jackie] You know... I used to be a cheerleader.
RED: You were a cheerleader Bob?
KITTY: My Bob... how very... how very... [looks at Red] What's the word?
RED: Girly...
BOB: Yup. I was #1 cheer chair. If ya girls need some help?
JACKIE: I think we'll be fine.
KITTY: Oh how fun! [gets pom poms] You know Jackie. I used to be a cheerleader too! [drops the pom poms] Let me get my old outfit!!! [excited] [runs upstairs]
BOB: If she gets to get hers! Then I'm going to get mine! [runs out]
RED: Oh Crap. Look what you did. Now I have to see Bob doing the splits. [walks to the kitchen]
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[Forman Basement. Kelso, FEZ, and Hyde. Hyde and Kelso are walking back and forth behind the couch. FEZ is on the couch.]
KELSO: I can't believe Red kicked us out from the living room. Does he not know there are girls upstairs?
FEZ: Yes and I thought I saw one with no underwear on!
KELSO: Man.. this is no fair! [sits on the couch] You know who would let us watch them practice! The Southside Cheerleaders!
HYDE: Kelso man. I don't think Jackie would like it if we went.
KELSO: Geez Hyde! I didn't know you'd be whipped!
FEZ: Yes... whipped like cream!
KELSO: Ooo... good one FEZ!
FEZ: Thank you.
HYDE: I am not whipped!
KELSO: Prove it!
HYDE: Okay fine. Let's go to Southside.
KELSO: [gets up] Alright!
FEZ: [gets up happy] YES! [walks towards the door with the guys] I hear that the Southside Cheerleaders don't wear underwear!
[They leave from the side door.]
[Commercial]
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[Southside High School. Inside the Gym. Eric and Donna sneak in carrying spray paint and toilet paper.]
ERIC: Donna. What are we doing here?
DONNA: Jackie needs support, so I figured we just show support by trashing the opposite team's gym!
ERIC: Uh... Donna... I don't know about this.
DONNA: [turns to him] Don't worry! We won't get caught!
[They hear noises. Foot steps. Donna and Eric hide behind the bleachers. The Southside Cheerleaders (8 girls) come in.]
JAX: That Burkhart girl thinks she could beat us. I don't think so.
MISSA: I know! Geez! What does Steven Hyde see in her?
HOLLY: So what's up with you and Michael Kelso?
JAX: He's cute. He'd be fun to play with for awhile. He'll support the Southside Cheerleaders!
MISSA / HOLLY: You go girl! / You're so sneaky!
HOLLY: What about that foreigner?
JAX: I don't know? Send him back to where he came from!
[Cheerleaders giggle. Kelso, FEZ, and Hyde come in]
KELSO: Hey ladies! We came to watch you practice.
FEZ: [goes up to Holly] Underwear optional.
[Jax looks at Missa and then walks to Kelso.]
JAX: So Michael. You going to support us?
KELSO: All the way! [does a little cheer dance]
JAX: Wow Michael. Good move. Maybe you can show that to me in private again.
KELSO: Sure. I could just show you here. [does cheer dance] See.
HYDE: You are a idiot.
KELSO: [realizes it] Ohhhh!
MISSA: [to Hyde] You going to watch us practice?
HYDE: [distant] Yeah. [he goes on the bench]
FEZ: [to the cheerleaders] If you need someone to hold your pom poms... [Hyde gets up and pulls FEZ onto the bench]
[The guys sit on the bench watching. Cheerleaders start to practice and doing flips. Donna and Eric are under the bleachers. Donna looks disgusted.]
DONNA: Look at them. Exposing themselves. What kind of women would do this?
ERIC: [staring at them] I... don't... know...
HYDE: I can't be here. I got to go. [Hyde leaves]
[Kelso taps FEZ.]
KELSO: Imagine having a cheerleader do that in bed!
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[Forman Living Room. Jackie and the cheerleaders strut and dance. Kitty comes down wearing her cheer uniform. She starts dancing in the middle of the practice. The cheerleaders stop]
KITTY: Ra-Ra Siss Boom Ba! I hope you losers get hit by a car! [laughs] That was the most popular one to say to those girls! [laughs] and boy that was funny... [laughs and then serious].. until one of the girls really got hit by a car. [back to normal] Anyways! You guys need some spirit!
JACKIE: Thank you Mrs. Forman, but I think we're fine. We feel confident and beautiful to win against those cheerleaders!
KITTY: Well Jackie... you can't only be confident and beautiful. [laughs] You have to be talented too.
JACKIE: Oh we are. Right girls?
CHEERLEADERS: Right!
JACKIE: And we already got one judge to vote for us. Terri slept with a judge!
TERRI: [waves pom pom] Alright!
BOB: [comes in in his uniform] I got spirit! Yes I do! I got spirit! How about YOU! [Bob tries to do a cartwheel, but it comes out bad] YEAH!
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[Southside High School. In the Gym. Cheer practice is over. Jax is talking to Kelso. FEZ is trying to chat with the cheerleaders.]
JAX: So Kelso... I was wonder if you'd do me a favor...
KELSO: Oh... a pleasurable favor?!?!
JAX: Well... you see... it's all up to you if it's pleasurable... our mascot guy, Gus... he got sick and we need him for the competition tomorrow. So I was wondering if you'd like to do it for me...
[Kelso thinks about it. A devil looking like him pops on the side of his shouler.]
DEVIL: Do it! Do it! Cuz she's willing to DO IT! DO IT!
[Kelso nods. Then an Angel pops on his other shoulder]
ANGEL: Don't do it! Think about Jackie! She's your "friend" now... and plus... you love her!
[Kelso nods. JAX whispers something in Kelso's ear.]
DEVIL: She's not wearing underwear dude!!!
KELSO: I'LL DO IT!
[Cut to FEZ]
FEZ: [to the cheerleaders] And I also think Southside is the best because of all the pretty ladies.
HOLLY: So will you support us when we cheer? We would love that you wear our shirt to support us! [presents a T-shirt to him]
[FEZ looks at the shirt - it says I SUPPORT SOUTHSIDE ALL THE WAY! FEZ thinks about it. A Devil appears on the side of his shoulder]
DEVIL: Here you go old boy! They want you to wear the shirt. Next thing you know... they won't be wearing their shirts!
[FEZ nods. An Angel appears on the other side.]
ANGEL: Do it!
FEZ: Aren't you suppose to convince me not to wear the shirt?
ANGEL: I'm sorry... I have needs.
FEZ: Okay! I'll do it!
[FEZ walks with the cheerleaders. Everyone is gone, except Donna and Eric.]
DONNA: Alright. Let's go!
ERIC: Donna... I don't know. Vandalization.
DONNA: Look Eric! We are an exciting fun couple!
ERIC: I know, but we don't need to do this to know that! I mean. Look at us! We're fun!
[Eric and Donna look at each other.]
ERIC: Okay... I'll TP the basketball nets and you spray.
DONNA: Okay!
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[Outside - Competition Area. FEZ is wearing the Southside Shirt. Hyde, Eric and Donna are standing waiting. ]
DONNA: I can't believe you're wearing a Southside shirt?
FEZ: I have needs.
ERIC: [looks at Hyde] That's true... he does.
HYDE: Oh here comes Jackie!
FEZ: [takes off the Southside Shirt to reveal a shirt that says POINT PLACE ALL THE WAY!] Go Jackie!
JACKIE: Oh FEZ! That's so sweet!
HYDE: [kisses her on the cheek] Good luck!
JACKIE: Thanks! I'm off! [goes off waving her pom poms]
ERIC: Oh here come those Southside girls.
FEZ: [hurries and put on the Southside shirt] GO SOUTHSIDE!
HOLLY: That's so sweet!
MISSA: We won't forget you... umm... FRED!
[They walk away.]
FEZ: Oh they remember me!
DONNA: They called you FRED...
ERIC: Why didn't we think of that name up for him?
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[Forman Living Room. Hyde, Jackie, FEZ, Eric, Donna, Kitty and Red come in from the front door.]
RED: What hell competition was that?
KITTY: I'm sorry Jackie.
JACKIE: Ah... it's alright. I have to admit... that mascot of theirs... can really move!
DONNA: Yeah... I have to admit. That was pretty good.
HYDE: Sorry Jackie. [hugs her]
JACKIE: It's alright. You know what I heard! I heard they only won because of their mascot!
KITTY: You still got next year!
FEZ: It's so hot in here. [FEZ takes off his shirt, revealing the SOUTHSIDE Shirt]
JACKIE: FEZ?!?!
FEZ: [looks at his shirt] HOW DID THAT GET THERE?
ERIC: Uh.. FEZ... those Southside girls must of branded you!
FEZ: Yes... WITH LOVE!
DONNA: Look Jackie. If it makes you feel any better... Eric and I trashed their gym.
JACKIE: Actually... that does make me feel better. Thank you! [goes to Donna and gives her a hug]
HYDE: Forman, you trashed a gym. Alright!
[Kelso comes in all tired in his regular clothes.]
KELSO: Hey guys.
HYDE: So Kelso... where were you today?
JACKIE: Yeah... you didn't come to support me!
KELSO: I had... I had to save the dying children Africa!
ERIC: And you got here... now?
KELSO: Yeah... I'm like Superman... man!
HYDE: Really? Nice tail man.
KELSO: [moves to the side - there is a tiger tail sticking out] Oh... what is this?
FEZ: Oh! What did you get from those children!?!?!?!
JACKIE: [grabs the tail] Michael! This is the Southside mascot's tail!
KELSO: How did that get there?
ERIC: I can't believe you went up against your own school.
DONNA: Shame on you.
KELSO: I don't know how that got there?!?!
RED: Wow... you were really good on stage... dumbass.
KELSO: Hey! It takes skill to do those moves. [Jackie gives him look] Which I didn't!
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[Credits]
[Forman Driveway. Bob and Kitty are dressed in their uniforms. Red is standing on the side]
KITTY: Give me a R!
BOB: R!
KITTY: Give me a E!
BOB: E!
KITTY: Give me a D!
BOB: D!
KITTY: What's that spell?!?!
[Bob and Kitty point to Red]
RED: I'm out of here. [he goes into the kitchen.
******************************************************************
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[Forman Basement. Hyde, Donna, Eric, Kelso and FEZ. Hyde is in his chair, Donna, Eric, and FEZ are in the seats, and Kelso is in his seat - they are watching TV]
HYDE: Another Happy Days rerun?
ERIC: [disgusted] Oh man... when are they going to outcool the Fonz?
KELSO: Hello? Earth to Eric! No one can outcool the Fonz... that's like out hotting me! And we all know that's not going to happen.
FEZ: Amend to you brother!
DONNA: I don't know... the Chochie and the Joanie moments are cool.
HYDE: No they're not. It's boring.
KELSO: [looks at Eric] Yeah... kinda reminds me of your relationship.
[Hyde and Kelso laugh]
DONNA: Wait that's not funny. We are not boring!
ERIC: Donna... calm down. You're too tense. You know that gives you headaches.
[Jackie rushes in from the side door.]
JACKIE: [happy] Oh My God! Guess what happened?!?!
FEZ: [stands up] You decided to break up with Hyde to be with me! [opens his arms wide to her]
JACKIE: [disgusted looking at FEZ] No... [back to the group] The Point Place Pep Squad has made it to the semi-finals! We might go to state!
DONNA / KELSO / ERIC / FEZ / HYDE: [mumble] Oh good for you! / Hot chicls / Oh / Yay for Point place / Eh
JACKIE: What?! Oh come on guys! Steven! [goes over to him] Aren't you happy for me!
HYDE: Why Jackie? It's just cheerleading.
JACKIE: Just Cheerleading? Just Cheerleading? I have you know without us, the football team would be nothing.
KELSO: That's true. Without the cheerleaders, guys wouldn't be motivated to win and then do it with the cheerleaders.
FEZ: [stands up] I'm happy for you Jackie! [jumps up and down] Ra ra!
JACKIE: Okay FEZ... [to the gang] So... who's going to go to the semi-finals to watch me!!?!?!
[Everyone is quiet.]
KELSO: I'll go!
ERIC: Why would you want to go?
KELSO: Eric... short skirts will be flying everywhere man! Think about it... SHORT SKIRTS!
DONNA: Well.. you guys know my thoughts on cheerleading. It's just making women more degrading.
JACKIE: Oh that's what every girl who didn't make the team says!
DONNA: Hey! I could of been a cheerleader!
FEZ: I shall go and support you... and comfort the sad, lonely cheerleaders who do not win.
ERIC: I guess I'll go...
DONNA: Yeah me too. Even tho I'm against it, I'll be there to support you.
JACKIE: Why thank you, you guys!
[Everyone turns to Hyde who is still reading the magazine.]
JACKIE: Steven?
HYDE: [looks at them] What?
JACKIE: Are you going to come and support me?
HYDE: Jackie... cheerleading events aren't my thing.
JACKIE: Come on Steven!
ERIC: Yeah Hyde... where's your SCHOOL SPIRIT!?!
[Credits]
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[The Hub. Jackie, Hyde, Kelso, FEZ, Donna and Eric are sitting in a booth. Kelso and FEZ are at the ordering window. Some girls dressed in cheerleading outfits come in. On the shirt part it says Southside. A blonde one is in the middle, and there is a Asian one on the side and a black girl on the other side.]
JACKIE: [sees them] Eck... it's the Southside Cheerleaders.
DONNA: So?
JACKIE: So??? They are up against us for the semi-finals. And eck! It's the head cheerleader, Jax. What kind of name is Jax?
ERIC: Gee Jackie. I don't know. A girl's name?
HYDE: [looking at the girls] I see nothing wrong.
[The three cheerleaders walk see Jackie and walks towards her table.]
JAX: Well if it isn't Jackie Burkhart. What a surprise to see you in a cool place like this.
JACKIE: I was wondering why you were here.
JAX: Oh whatever Burkhart. We are going to win this competition and Point Place Cheerleaders could just kiss our winning perfect pyramid asses!
JACKIE: [stands up] Oh we shall see about that!
[Kelso and FEZ walk to the table]
FEZ: Ohhhh... two girls fighting!
KELSO: FEZ, remember... we have to be quiet about this. [looks at them] TAKE IT OFF!
JAX: [looks at Kelso] Well hello Michael. [walks over to Kelso]
KELSO: Hey Jax. Long time no see.
JAX: [plays with his arm] Hey Michael... you going to support us Southside Cheerleaders, right?
KELSO: Of course!
FEZ: Hello. I am FEZ. I'll come and support you.
JACKIE: FEZ! MICHAEL!
FEZ: [To Jackie] Shhh not now Jackie! [to girls] Yes... go Southside!
JAX: That's so sweet. [to Kelso] So Michael, you're going to call me?
KELSO: Yeah. Of course!
JAX: Good! I'll be expecting a call.
KELSO: Really? From who?
JAX: [rolls her eyes] From you! Missa! Holly! Let's go!
MISSA [Asian one]: [to Hyde] Hey... when you get sick of Point Place girls... try some Southside girls.
[The three cheerleaders leave.]
HYDE: [sighs] Been there, done that.
JACKIE: The nerve of them coming here to the Hub!
ERIC: Yeah... cuz the Hub. Yeah. I don't think anyone should come here and sit and want to eat in here.
JACKIE: FEZ? Michael? What was that about?
FEZ: I'm sorry Jackie. They were wearing short skirts and theirs breasts were as big as melons!
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[Eric's Room. Donna and Eric are making out on the bed. Eric on top of her]]
DONNA: [stops] Eric... do you think we're boring?
ERIC: [annoyed] Donna. That was a tricky move, I need your full concentration. [goes back to her neck]
DONNA: I mean it Eric. Are we boring?
ERIC: [gets up] Donna! Of course not. We're not boring. We have so much fun that it's not even funny. [quiet] See... no one's laughing.
DONNA: I don't know. Let's go out and do something!
ERIC: Donna... we were doing something.
DONNA: Something fun!
ERIC: [looks around and does obvious face] Hello?
DONNA: [she gets up and opens the door] Come on! Let's go!
ERIC: [on the bed] Or... we can stay here and have some fun!
[Donna leaves.]
ERIC: What? What did I say? [pauses] Fine! [gets up and follows her] I'm coming...
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[Forman living room. Jackie and a bunch of other girls dressed in Point Place Cheer Outfits. All the furniture has been moved. Hyde, Kelso and FEZ are watching the girls practice.]
JACKIE: Okay... let's do it! We need to beat those Southside Skanks!
GIRLS: Okay!
JACKIE: 1... 2... 3...
[Red, Kitty, and Bob enters]
RED: What the hell?
JACKIE: Mr. Forman.
RED: What are these ra-ra girls doing in MY house?
CHEERLEADER 1: We're not ra-ra girls! We're cheerleaders!
KITTY: Ya could had fooled me! [laughs]
BOB: So what are you guys doing here for?
JACKIE: We have a major competition coming up!
RED: [to the guys] Why are you here?
KELSO: Uhh... we are here to SUPPORT them for the major competition coming up!
FEZ: And they are wearing short skirts!
RED: Get out!
[Kelso and FEZ walk out to the kitchen. Hyde remains.]
HYDE: She's my girlfriend.
RED: Oh... [pauses] Get out!
[Hyde gets out to the kitchen]
BOB: [to Jackie] You know... I used to be a cheerleader.
RED: You were a cheerleader Bob?
KITTY: My Bob... how very... how very... [looks at Red] What's the word?
RED: Girly...
BOB: Yup. I was #1 cheer chair. If ya girls need some help?
JACKIE: I think we'll be fine.
KITTY: Oh how fun! [gets pom poms] You know Jackie. I used to be a cheerleader too! [drops the pom poms] Let me get my old outfit!!! [excited] [runs upstairs]
BOB: If she gets to get hers! Then I'm going to get mine! [runs out]
RED: Oh Crap. Look what you did. Now I have to see Bob doing the splits. [walks to the kitchen]
******************************************************************
[Forman Basement. Kelso, FEZ, and Hyde. Hyde and Kelso are walking back and forth behind the couch. FEZ is on the couch.]
KELSO: I can't believe Red kicked us out from the living room. Does he not know there are girls upstairs?
FEZ: Yes and I thought I saw one with no underwear on!
KELSO: Man.. this is no fair! [sits on the couch] You know who would let us watch them practice! The Southside Cheerleaders!
HYDE: Kelso man. I don't think Jackie would like it if we went.
KELSO: Geez Hyde! I didn't know you'd be whipped!
FEZ: Yes... whipped like cream!
KELSO: Ooo... good one FEZ!
FEZ: Thank you.
HYDE: I am not whipped!
KELSO: Prove it!
HYDE: Okay fine. Let's go to Southside.
KELSO: [gets up] Alright!
FEZ: [gets up happy] YES! [walks towards the door with the guys] I hear that the Southside Cheerleaders don't wear underwear!
[They leave from the side door.]
[Commercial]
******************************************************************
[Southside High School. Inside the Gym. Eric and Donna sneak in carrying spray paint and toilet paper.]
ERIC: Donna. What are we doing here?
DONNA: Jackie needs support, so I figured we just show support by trashing the opposite team's gym!
ERIC: Uh... Donna... I don't know about this.
DONNA: [turns to him] Don't worry! We won't get caught!
[They hear noises. Foot steps. Donna and Eric hide behind the bleachers. The Southside Cheerleaders (8 girls) come in.]
JAX: That Burkhart girl thinks she could beat us. I don't think so.
MISSA: I know! Geez! What does Steven Hyde see in her?
HOLLY: So what's up with you and Michael Kelso?
JAX: He's cute. He'd be fun to play with for awhile. He'll support the Southside Cheerleaders!
MISSA / HOLLY: You go girl! / You're so sneaky!
HOLLY: What about that foreigner?
JAX: I don't know? Send him back to where he came from!
[Cheerleaders giggle. Kelso, FEZ, and Hyde come in]
KELSO: Hey ladies! We came to watch you practice.
FEZ: [goes up to Holly] Underwear optional.
[Jax looks at Missa and then walks to Kelso.]
JAX: So Michael. You going to support us?
KELSO: All the way! [does a little cheer dance]
JAX: Wow Michael. Good move. Maybe you can show that to me in private again.
KELSO: Sure. I could just show you here. [does cheer dance] See.
HYDE: You are a idiot.
KELSO: [realizes it] Ohhhh!
MISSA: [to Hyde] You going to watch us practice?
HYDE: [distant] Yeah. [he goes on the bench]
FEZ: [to the cheerleaders] If you need someone to hold your pom poms... [Hyde gets up and pulls FEZ onto the bench]
[The guys sit on the bench watching. Cheerleaders start to practice and doing flips. Donna and Eric are under the bleachers. Donna looks disgusted.]
DONNA: Look at them. Exposing themselves. What kind of women would do this?
ERIC: [staring at them] I... don't... know...
HYDE: I can't be here. I got to go. [Hyde leaves]
[Kelso taps FEZ.]
KELSO: Imagine having a cheerleader do that in bed!
******************************************************************
[Forman Living Room. Jackie and the cheerleaders strut and dance. Kitty comes down wearing her cheer uniform. She starts dancing in the middle of the practice. The cheerleaders stop]
KITTY: Ra-Ra Siss Boom Ba! I hope you losers get hit by a car! [laughs] That was the most popular one to say to those girls! [laughs] and boy that was funny... [laughs and then serious].. until one of the girls really got hit by a car. [back to normal] Anyways! You guys need some spirit!
JACKIE: Thank you Mrs. Forman, but I think we're fine. We feel confident and beautiful to win against those cheerleaders!
KITTY: Well Jackie... you can't only be confident and beautiful. [laughs] You have to be talented too.
JACKIE: Oh we are. Right girls?
CHEERLEADERS: Right!
JACKIE: And we already got one judge to vote for us. Terri slept with a judge!
TERRI: [waves pom pom] Alright!
BOB: [comes in in his uniform] I got spirit! Yes I do! I got spirit! How about YOU! [Bob tries to do a cartwheel, but it comes out bad] YEAH!
******************************************************************
[Southside High School. In the Gym. Cheer practice is over. Jax is talking to Kelso. FEZ is trying to chat with the cheerleaders.]
JAX: So Kelso... I was wonder if you'd do me a favor...
KELSO: Oh... a pleasurable favor?!?!
JAX: Well... you see... it's all up to you if it's pleasurable... our mascot guy, Gus... he got sick and we need him for the competition tomorrow. So I was wondering if you'd like to do it for me...
[Kelso thinks about it. A devil looking like him pops on the side of his shouler.]
DEVIL: Do it! Do it! Cuz she's willing to DO IT! DO IT!
[Kelso nods. Then an Angel pops on his other shoulder]
ANGEL: Don't do it! Think about Jackie! She's your "friend" now... and plus... you love her!
[Kelso nods. JAX whispers something in Kelso's ear.]
DEVIL: She's not wearing underwear dude!!!
KELSO: I'LL DO IT!
[Cut to FEZ]
FEZ: [to the cheerleaders] And I also think Southside is the best because of all the pretty ladies.
HOLLY: So will you support us when we cheer? We would love that you wear our shirt to support us! [presents a T-shirt to him]
[FEZ looks at the shirt - it says I SUPPORT SOUTHSIDE ALL THE WAY! FEZ thinks about it. A Devil appears on the side of his shoulder]
DEVIL: Here you go old boy! They want you to wear the shirt. Next thing you know... they won't be wearing their shirts!
[FEZ nods. An Angel appears on the other side.]
ANGEL: Do it!
FEZ: Aren't you suppose to convince me not to wear the shirt?
ANGEL: I'm sorry... I have needs.
FEZ: Okay! I'll do it!
[FEZ walks with the cheerleaders. Everyone is gone, except Donna and Eric.]
DONNA: Alright. Let's go!
ERIC: Donna... I don't know. Vandalization.
DONNA: Look Eric! We are an exciting fun couple!
ERIC: I know, but we don't need to do this to know that! I mean. Look at us! We're fun!
[Eric and Donna look at each other.]
ERIC: Okay... I'll TP the basketball nets and you spray.
DONNA: Okay!
******************************************************************
[Outside - Competition Area. FEZ is wearing the Southside Shirt. Hyde, Eric and Donna are standing waiting. ]
DONNA: I can't believe you're wearing a Southside shirt?
FEZ: I have needs.
ERIC: [looks at Hyde] That's true... he does.
HYDE: Oh here comes Jackie!
FEZ: [takes off the Southside Shirt to reveal a shirt that says POINT PLACE ALL THE WAY!] Go Jackie!
JACKIE: Oh FEZ! That's so sweet!
HYDE: [kisses her on the cheek] Good luck!
JACKIE: Thanks! I'm off! [goes off waving her pom poms]
ERIC: Oh here come those Southside girls.
FEZ: [hurries and put on the Southside shirt] GO SOUTHSIDE!
HOLLY: That's so sweet!
MISSA: We won't forget you... umm... FRED!
[They walk away.]
FEZ: Oh they remember me!
DONNA: They called you FRED...
ERIC: Why didn't we think of that name up for him?
******************************************************************
[Forman Living Room. Hyde, Jackie, FEZ, Eric, Donna, Kitty and Red come in from the front door.]
RED: What hell competition was that?
KITTY: I'm sorry Jackie.
JACKIE: Ah... it's alright. I have to admit... that mascot of theirs... can really move!
DONNA: Yeah... I have to admit. That was pretty good.
HYDE: Sorry Jackie. [hugs her]
JACKIE: It's alright. You know what I heard! I heard they only won because of their mascot!
KITTY: You still got next year!
FEZ: It's so hot in here. [FEZ takes off his shirt, revealing the SOUTHSIDE Shirt]
JACKIE: FEZ?!?!
FEZ: [looks at his shirt] HOW DID THAT GET THERE?
ERIC: Uh.. FEZ... those Southside girls must of branded you!
FEZ: Yes... WITH LOVE!
DONNA: Look Jackie. If it makes you feel any better... Eric and I trashed their gym.
JACKIE: Actually... that does make me feel better. Thank you! [goes to Donna and gives her a hug]
HYDE: Forman, you trashed a gym. Alright!
[Kelso comes in all tired in his regular clothes.]
KELSO: Hey guys.
HYDE: So Kelso... where were you today?
JACKIE: Yeah... you didn't come to support me!
KELSO: I had... I had to save the dying children Africa!
ERIC: And you got here... now?
KELSO: Yeah... I'm like Superman... man!
HYDE: Really? Nice tail man.
KELSO: [moves to the side - there is a tiger tail sticking out] Oh... what is this?
FEZ: Oh! What did you get from those children!?!?!?!
JACKIE: [grabs the tail] Michael! This is the Southside mascot's tail!
KELSO: How did that get there?
ERIC: I can't believe you went up against your own school.
DONNA: Shame on you.
KELSO: I don't know how that got there?!?!
RED: Wow... you were really good on stage... dumbass.
KELSO: Hey! It takes skill to do those moves. [Jackie gives him look] Which I didn't!
******************************************************************
[Credits]
[Forman Driveway. Bob and Kitty are dressed in their uniforms. Red is standing on the side]
KITTY: Give me a R!
BOB: R!
KITTY: Give me a E!
BOB: E!
KITTY: Give me a D!
BOB: D!
KITTY: What's that spell?!?!
[Bob and Kitty point to Red]
RED: I'm out of here. [he goes into the kitchen.
******************************************************************
