DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.







The choice that wasn't mine




Everywhere I went, the Fates would appear. Even in my own house, I was not left alone! I finally had to admit to myself that this was not the villagers playing a trick on me; it was time to see that the Fates had to say.

It didn't take long to find them. After all, they were everywhere. I wanted to make sure that my opinion was heard so I started off the conversation. "Okay, so if I'm a mortal who's supposed to be a god, why did you say that you didn't know until Kaho told you?"

"Don't you want to know who Kaho is anymore?" the black haired one asked.

"No, I figured it out."

"So, you finally decided to come with us," the blonde one stated.

"I didn't say that. Why can't you just answer my question?"

"Alas," the brunette started. I noticed she tended to be a bit more melodramatic than the others. "The Universe has a perverse sense of humor."

I hadn't caught on to the slight emphasis that was put on "Universe", so I was dumbfounded at their answer to my question. They noted my expression and explained.

"People think the Fates control everything-"

I couldn't resist, I just had to say my little comment, "no...the people actually think you don't exist."

She looked at me awkwardly and then her expression became thoughtful. "Is that so? Well, we'll have to do something about that then....anyway. Back to the story," she glared.

The blonde took over. "We don't really have much say in anything. We're just messangers for the Universe."

"I trust you three have names?"

"Of course," she sniffed and looked offended. The blonde was Soko, the brunette was Enti, and the dark-haired one was Vega and they were sisters.

Vega continued where Soko left off. "When the Gods mate with mortals, the offspring produced aren't supposed to have any divine blood. You do though, which makes you unusual."

"So, how did I get this divine blood?" I asked, genuinely curious.

They looked at each other sheepishly. "We actually don't know. ehe...he.....he........"

I sighed. "So what do you know?"

"We know that you are definately supposed to be a god."

"How so?"

"There's someone you're supposed to help....later..." Enti looked like she was about to go on, but her two sisters stopped her.

"Syaoran!" my mother called. "Who are you talking to?"

"Ah....a.....a....no one mother!" I turned to look at the Fates, an idea occured to me. "My friend-"

"The sick one you've been praying for. We know."

"How did you know?"

"We know lots of things."

"Can you help her?"

"She had been marked by the Dark Lord." The Dark Lord. I remembered him from stories. It was said that once you were marked by the Dark Lord, your death was garunteed. My heart sunk. If Meiling was marked by the Dark Lord, then everything I had done...there really was no hope. I felt my feet turn me around and take me out of the practice courts. All I could think of was really loosing my best friend.

She had never looked to frail before. She had never looked so ill before. She had never looked so tiny. One look at my face and she knew. "So, you've finally admited to yourself the inevitable about me," she said in a saddened matter-of-fact tone that she always used when she won an arguement.

I had nothing to say. No words of encouragement, no glimmer of hope to give her. "I knew you'd see the truth someday," she went on after a little while. "Everyone dies Syaoran. I'm just dying sooner than the rest. Even you'll die someday."

No, if the Fates were right, I would never die. I would never die, and I would have to watch the people around me die. The people that I loved and sometimes hated would be gone because if the Fates were right, I would never die. Meiling didn't know that though and even though I couldn't have done anything for her, had I only listened to the Fates the first time, I might have been able to find some way to speak to the Dark Lord, to pursuade him to free my friend.

"Syaoran, Syaoran are you ok?" Meiling tugged at my sleeve. Her voice contained a note of concern I'd not heard in years.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine," I lied.

"Then why are you crying?" I touched my face. So I had been crying. I stopped my tears. I had to be brave for her.

Before I left, I kissed her cheek. Much to my surprise, it was wet. I hadn't noticed that she had been crying too. She clung to me. "Syaoran. I'm so scared of dying. I don't want to leave," I heard her sob. What was I supposed to say? I didn't want her to leave either. I simply let her cry into my shoulder until she fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up with a very sore and stiff back. I had fallen asleep sitting on the ground, my head on a low table in Meiling's room. I didn't remember ever falling asleep there. Her light breathing told me that she was still asleep and thankfully, still alive. She didn't wake up until almost noon that day, and when she woke up, she wanted to talk to me.

"Syaoran...I had the oddest dream last night," she whispered. She didn't wait for a response before continuing. "I haven't had a dream in so long. Don't laugh at me when I tell you what it's about." I nodded. "I dreamed that you would live forever. I dreamed that you were a god."

"What?"

She sucked in her breath. "You're laughing at me aren't you? I can tell."

"No, no, Meiling," I cut in. I really wasn't laughing. I was flabergasted that she dreamed I was a god. The Fates. "I wasn't laughing Meiling. Really. I was just surprised."

"I knew you would understand..." her voice trailed off and I couldn't hear her breathe anymore.

Alarms sounded in my head and I shook her and yelled her name, begging her not to go. She opened her eyes lazily again and whispered a breathy, "Hmmm...?"

"Meiling, no, you can't die now. You're going to get better remember?"

Her hand moved weakly and tried to push me away. "No, don't make me stay here. It hurts too much." Her eyes closed again.

"No, Meiling, don't go to sleep. Try and look at me again. Please."

She all of a sudden had a surge of strength and she pushed me away. "Let me go. Syaoran. Be good to me one last time, and let me go."

All of a sudden, a black, black figure appeared at her bed side and bent over as if to pick her up. I knew who this was. The Dark Lord was coming for Meiling. A voice I couldn't even recognize as my own escaped my lips and sounded out a strangled no. I was frozen to the ground. The Dark Lord straightened up and in his arms was a silvery replica of Meiling. Her soul, her spirit. He disappeared and I fell. I don't know how long I was there for, but I felt myself being lifted up. "Sometimes, right before death, mortals see pieces of the future."

That voice. It sounded so familiar. I willed myself to look up, so see who was helping me. "Pull yourself together, Syaoran. There are things that need to be done." That voice sounded familar too, but I could place it. Before my eyes were three blurs of white light. I squinted to try to focus.

"Who...?" I muttered.

"We're the Fates, Syaoran, don't you remember?" another gentle voice said.

"The Fates?" My memory was coming back.

"Oh, no, someone's coming." They let go of me. I had been on my feet when they were supporting me, but after they let go, I fell again. I simply couldn't believe that the girl who had been by my side since childhood was gone.

My mother was coming, I could tell my the sound of the foot steps. She stopped in the door way. "Syaoran," she gasped, "Oh, no..." She saw Meiling and rushed over to the body. After a few moments, she came to me and helped me up. "I'm sorry." This was another one of the few times in my life I had ever seen my mother cry.

"Let's go, Mother, there are things...arrangements that need to be made," I said in an effort to deal with my grief.

"No, I saw the way you were when I came in. You're going straight to bed for today. I'll take care of everything."

She was being unreasonable. There was no reason I shouldn't help, but my mother steered me into my room. She was right. I was asleep as soon as lay down.

When I opened my eyes again, a woman in a peach dress stood before me. She was carrying a willow branch and crying. She was kind of blurry, like she wasn't really in my room and an unseen breeze flew around her. It took a while for me to realize this was an immortal and even longer for me to realize that this was Hitas, goddess of health. "Wha...?"

"Child," she started, "I'm sorry for your loss. I pleaded with my brother to let your friend go. Your pleas were most eloquent."

"What? Thank you...I think."

"The Fates tell me you will be joining us soon. Maybe our paths will cross again, my child." That must have been her way of saying farewell because she started fading away. If all gods had to call mortals "my child," then I wasn't so sure I wanted to be a god. Oh well, that was a problem for another day. I needed sleep right now.

In my dream, the green-eyed girl I had searched so hard for was there. She was telling me something, but I couldn't hear what it was. She seemed so happy though. So happy. Her smile was so beautiful and so genuine. I wondered what was making her so happy. Then it occured to me. Maybe this was a glimpse of my future. Maybe I was supposed to be a god. Maybe that's where I would find this woman. And then I woke up. I was back in reality, where I had a funeral I needed to help prepare for.

I had slept for longer than anticipated. Almost a full twenty four hours. I had never slept that long in one sitting in my life and the excess of sleep made me feel like jelly. I tried to help out as much as I could, but my mother and sisters wouldn't let me. They seemed to expect me to just sit and mourn all day. I couldn't do that though. I couldn't do nothing, but before I my anger got the better of me, they finished. I marveled at the speed at which they worked even though they would periodically break down in tears and bouts of mild depression.

The funeral was extravagant. The excessive mourning of some of my relatives sickened me. They hadn't even known her as well as I did, how dare they talk about her as if they knew her? I had to excuse myself to throw up. For a week, people poured in and out of our house, trying to comfort Meiling's parents and my mother who had always thought of Meiling as a fifth daughter. My sisters were uncharacteristically subdued during the whole thing.

I had no tears to shed. Some people thought it was harsh of me to seem to ignore Meiling's passing, but I hadn't ignored it. I had just used up my grief. I don't even remember much of her funeral, I was so distressed. But no one else could know that, and I heard whispers of my unsympathetic actions from everyone. They didn't understand the everyone mourns in their own way.

My life didn't return to normal after that. I didn't hear from the Fates again for a long time, and I had almost forgotten about them. I felt guilty that I would live forever and Meiling had to die so young. I felt selfish for only thinking about my dream. If I hadn't left her, maybe she wouldn't have gotten sick. My mother assuered me, though, that it wasn't my fault, but the guilt kept eating away at me.

One day, my mother called for me. In an oddly constrained voice, she ordered me to go to her study. I thought that this would be a lecture, for neglecting my duties and spending all my time either in the practice courts or in the graveyard. But it wasn't. I walked into her study and there they were. The Fates in all their glory. "Ack! You three again!" I yelled.

"So, you know each other?" my mother warily asked.

"Uhhh..." She took my utterance as a yes.

"I wasn't sure whether or not to take them seriously or not."

"Ummm...what did they say?"

"We told her that you are supposed to be a god, Syaoran," Enti answered for my mother.

There was silence in the room. "So what do we do now?" my mother sighed.

"Well..." Soko hesitated. "There's another boy, a bit younger the Syaoran, whom we need to take with us. Actually, he's been in the Realms for a while, he's just been in an area that's sparsely popualted."

"Why?" I asked.

"He's rather difficult," Enti sighed.

"He's too cocky for his own good," Vega added.

"So what does this have to do with me?"

"We'd like it if you came with us," Soko requested.

"Now?" They nodded. "But my mother, and my sisters!"

"You have a destiny to fullfill, Syaoran."

"Syaoran, did it ever occur to you that maybe going now will be easier for you in the long run?" Surprisingly, this insight came from my mother. I was sure she wouldn't want me to leave anymore.

I sighed. "Mother-"

"Did it, Syaoran?" she insisted.

"No." I knew when I was beat. If I didn't answer, she'd bother me about it day and night.

"As much as I don't want you to leave, it would be selfish of me to keep you here where there are others who need you, or will need you, rather, much more than I do."

"Ummm..." where did she get that information? I knew my mother was shrewd, but the only reason I knew about that was because the Fates had let it slip, so how was it that my mother knew.

"Mother."

"Syaoran."

I had lost the arguement. It wasn't even an argument. My mother would have won anyways. "Fine, fine, I'll go," I finally relented.

"There are things you have to know first then, Syaoran," Vega said.

"Like?" I had thought that all the Gods needed to do was listen to prayers, occasionally answer a few of them, and just sit around the rest of the time.

"You're going to be the God of Marital Arts."

"That's a silly title," I scoffed.

"Well, you're stuck with it," Enti replied.



See? I told you the God of Martial Arts wasn't made out of a sword.



"You'll live with Kaho and Eriol," Soko said.

"Don't forget Kaiba too," Enti added.

"Except Kaiba will be going at the same time you are, so you two will be on the same level," Vega concluded.

"All right then," I said haltingly. "I'll go."






a/n: it's so wierd for me to be writing from a guy's pov. I have no clue what they think about...well...that'a lie...I have some clue what they think about, but I'm not sure how exactally they see everything, so if to any of you who are guys (and girls too if you can tell), Syaoran seems incredibly girly, tell me!!!