DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.
Very important author's note!! Um...If you asked to be on my mailing list and you haven't been getting notices, could you please tell me? You might be one of the people who I can't get e-mails to. I know petitegirl, you're one of them...if you read this, e-mail me or leave a review or something...I don't know if it's a problem with your e-mail provider or what, but I'm pretty sure I have the right e-mail. I think Tomoyo-chan I generally can get e-mails to you, except for lately...so if you could e-mail me or leave a review too. I can't remember anyone else off the top of my head. I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't forgetting. Oh, and if you want to be added to my update list, leave your e-mail in a review or in an e-mail to me ok? ok! now, on with the fic!
Five years passed. They were five uneventful years for me, with one exception that is worth mentioning. My situation regarding Hitas was resolved. I actually played with the idea of welcoming her into my life as a lover, but everytime I saw her, I compared her to Sakura. I supposed to someone who wasn't madly in love with Sakura, Hitas was the more beautiful, but I was madly in love with Sakura, and Hitas just couldn't measure up to her.
She came to me for a while and then she told me about her feelings. I wonder if she knew she was going to be rejected, because the day she came, she was quite subdued. Our conversation was the stereotypical rejection conversation. I couldn't explain to her exactally why I didn't love her, but she seemed to understand. At least we were still friends after the whole ordeal.
Those five years though, they must have been something else for Sakura. I tried to teach her everything about martial arts, and she did well in everything I taught her. She ended up focusing on hand-to-hand combat and the odd fan-fighting technique I learned on my trip to the mortal worlds. Some days though, she wouldn't show up, but she would come the next day, apologize, and stay for an extra long time. Everytime she did that, she always looked so angry at something.
In the beginning, I saw her smile all the time, but towards the end, she would be coming only every few days, looking grimer each time. I tried to coax her to tell me what was going on, but she firmly told me that she was perfectly fine and then she would apologize. I never understood what went through her mind when she was apologizing because she would say sorry for the most unusual things, namely being a burden. I always told her that she was welcome in my house any time.
She took my word to heart. One day, she showed up at my door in tears, with her trunk. I was tempted to stop her where she was demand an explination, but I didn't. I motioned for a servant to take her trunk to a spare room and then sat Sakura down in my living room. "Ok, now you have to tell me what's going on."
She nodded. "I probably should have told you a while ago, but I didn't want to worry anyone, least of all you." She stopped trying to think where to start. "Syaoran, don't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you and you have to promise not to get angry at anyone ok?"
"Well...I can promise the first one, but not the second one." The "least of all you" part of her first sentence was still stuck in my head. If I hadn't been focused on why she was so angry, I probably would have sat their thinking that phrase over and over again, rolling it on my tongue like candy.
"I rather thought that's what you might say." She always did have an uncanny way of knowing how we would react to what she said. "I wish we could all be friends again," she sighed.
I blinked. What was she talking about? I thought we were all friends already. "What do you mean?" I asked.
She struggled with her words for a few minutes before she blurted out, "I don't want to be loved the way Kaiba loves me...at least...not...yet." The end of her sentence came so quietly I almost didn't hear her. What had Kaiba done to our Sakura? I hadn't seen her so unhappy since she first came to us.
"What...what has he done to you?" I asked, my voice was low and threatening. "He didn't...he didn't force you to do anything or hurt you did he?"
"No, no...he wouldn't do any thing like that to a fellow god."
"Then what did he do?"
"He tried to hurt me. He said he loved me, and I didn't want him to love me. I just wanted to be friends with him....that's why I wanted you to teach me to fight," she finished quietly.
I got up and started pacing back and forth, cursing under my breath. "Don't do anything rash, Syaoran," she reminded me, her voice trembling. I thought back to all the times the five of us had gotten together and the looks he gave her. "Syaoran?" I heard her call to me. "Don't...don't do anything-"
"How can I not do anything? He's scared you..." she seemed taken back by the tone of my voice. "How? Tell me, what am I supposed to do? Just sit around and let Kaiba do this?"
Sakura straightened up. "Precisely."
I looked at her skeptically. I couldn't just stand around and let my love me hurt like that. That was wrong, that was wrong. "Syaoran, I know you're thinking of doing something to Kaiba. Don't."
"How did you know?"
"Please, you were practically screaming the thought," she said, smiling. It was the first time I had seen her smile in a long, long time.
"You know, Sakura," I said sitting down next to her. "I can promise I won't do anything to Kaiba now, but if he ever hurts you, I swear, I'll-"
"No," she said firmly, "this is my issue. I'll take care of it. I...I just need somewhere to stay when he gets to be too much. Sanctuary if you will."
"Of course," I replied. "I'll set aside part of my house just for you. Ok?"
"Just some rooms would be fine."
She smiled again and leaned over to hug me. "I love you so much for being here for me."
My heart nearly stopped when I heard those first three words come out of her mouth, but then I realized that she only loved me as the friend who would always be there for her. How I wished that there was a deeper significance to her words. But I knew there wasn't. I vowed then, that I would always be good to her, that I would always be there for her, and care for her, even if she wouldn't love me the way I loved her. Then maybe one day, she'd accept the love of others for her, and I could tell her I loved her too, but for now, I would have to content myself with caring for her and loving her secretly.
She stayed at my place for a few days before she went home. But she came back about two months later. This time, she brought some more clothes with her, and left them here. Each time she stayed, she would bring a few more things. Some times, months would pass between her visits, and sometimes, just a few weeks. One time she didn't come for a half a year and I started to think that maybe Kaiba was leaving her alone now, but she was back a few weeks later. I wanted her to feel like my home was her home, so I gave her the key to my house, and told the servants to mind Sakura as the would me.
Eriol and Kaho also found out, but Sakura made them swear not to tell Kaiba anything and to leave this for her to deal with. Kaho was sorely tempted, as I was, to go hurt Kaiba for hurting Sakura, but Eriol and Sakura restrained her. Kaho can be rather enthusiastic sometimes. Those two had actually suspected that Kaiba was being forceful with Sakura though, but didn't say anything about it until Sakura actually brought it up. They're so smart sometimes.
One morning a few year down the road, I woke up, and I found her sleeping on the couch in my living room. She must have come in the middle of the night, and I was up fairly early, so I decided not to disturb her, but I couldn't help but go and see her face. She looked like such and angel sleeping on the couch. The skin around her eyes looked a little red. One of her hands was clenched into a fist near her head and the other was wrapped around her waist. I saw my hand reach out and touch her cheek. In the back of my mind, a little voice screamed, "What are you doing Syaoran!" but I didn't listen to it. I moved her hair away from her face, and then her eyes opened.
I must have turned about a dozen shades of red. She smiled at me. "You're like the older brother I never had, Syaoran," she whispered, her voice still hoarse with sleep. But Sakura, do you know what I want to be much more than an older brother to you? I thought to myself.
"You let yourself in last night. And you must have come in the middle of the night, literally. I'm sorry to have woken you up."
"No matter," she said, swinging her legs over the side of the couch. "I did come rather late. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I've told you to think of my house as your own," I said getting up from where I was kneeling and making my way to the kitchen. "Hungry?"
"Famished," she replied, "But I'm going to go take a bath first though. I'll be down in an hour or so ok?"
She came down an hour later, her hair still damp, but in a different set of clothes, and ate breakfast. There was a harsh knock on the door. A harrassed looking servant came in a few minutes later, followed by a fuming Kaiba. He was about to say something to me when he saw Sakura at my table. "There you are," he said silkily, "I was looking all over for you, my dear."
"I'm not your dear," she replied curtly.
"Why are you staying with Syaoran?" he asked suspiciously.
"Why not?" she said indignantly.
"Are you questioning my honor?" I demanded.
"No, no," he quickly mended, catching his mistake in time. "I was merely curious as to why she ran away last night."
"Did it every occur to you that I need a break from you?" Sakura asked as if she were speaking to a small child.
"From me?" he looked from her to me. "Why would anyone need a break from me?" he seemed to ask me.
Sakura just sighed impatiently and rolled her eyes. "Could you please just leave me alone, Kaiba? I'm sick of having to get rid of you every where I go."
"I don't understand-"
Sakura cut him off. "You needn't play innocent," she said bitterly, a tone I had never heard in her voice before. "Syaoran knows about our little....situation." It was rather embarassing to listen to this conversation. I felt awful for Sakura, but she was a lot stronger that she appeared.
I wanted to say something for Sakura, but I knew she wanted me to stay out of this conversation. "Well then," Kaiba said, "I'll be waiting for you when you return then."
"I'd prefer it if you just left me alone."
"What if I don't want to? You know what I want."
She slammed her fist down on the table and stood up. "Get out of here," she said, her voice was threatening, and kind of scary. I made a metal note never to get Sakura angry at me the way she was angry at Kaiba. "Get out."
He slowly moved towards her. "You can't kick me out of this house, this isn't your house," and then he moved as if to strike her. I saw Sakura shift slightly so into a combat position, but she didn't need it.
"My house, my rules," I said to Kaiba, grabbing his shoulders.
"But she-"
I shook my head. "In my house, you respect women. Sakura is a woman and a goddess. You will respect her as you would respect a fellow god because she is a god before she is a woman."
Kaiba shook my hand off. "Fine then," and stormed out of the house.
Sakura turned to me after he left with a half injured, half offended look on her face. "Why? Why didn't you just let me take care of my own business?"
a/n: Uh oh, is Sakura gonna get angry at Syaoran? Is the plot moving too fast for some of you guys? I wanted to go slow, but I felt like if I went any slower, you'd all get bored. Oh, a little side note about Hitas. See, I wanted to make it so that she kept hitting on him, but I decided I didn't really want to make the story quite that complicated. She works out better as a friend to everyone instead of a future rival.
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