~
There was only one thing on his mind.
Buffy.
What else?
He laughed to himself, taking in the irony of his unlife. For years, the only thing he ever thought about was Buffy and he knew that she would be the only thing he would ever think about again.
But it wasn't supposed to happen that way, he was supposed to keep his emotions intact. He was supposed to move through the plan...the plan that he needed to keep her near him. Not just suddenly grab her and then run away.
Why the hell had he run away?
It would've saved a helluva lot of time if he had just stayed with her, like he wanted to and like she wanted him to.
And he knew she wanted him to.
But something within him told him to get the hell out of there. He hated it...he really hated the fact that he sometimes didn't have any stones.
The truth was, he felt like he couldn't kiss Buffy for one reason.
And it wasn't the bloody plan or whatever the hell he had convinced himself that it was.
It was because he felt like (and knew) that he was lying to her.
He was lying about who he was, really was, where he came from, the reasons he was in Sunnydale...he wasn't being honest with her.
So he felt like he wasn't worthy. Not that he was ever worthy, that was something he knew for a fact, but he felt especially unworthy, now.
But he couldn't just say "Buffy, the reason I ran out on our kiss, isn't because I'm a bloody commitment-phobic, but really its because I'm from your future and I've been lying to you from the beginning and Dawn's your sister and you've died more often than most people and I'm really your future lover here to save you and-"...it would not only be unbelievable, but also way too long.
"You done yet, man?" Spike looked up from his fight, realizing he had spoken entirely out loud. With a quick left punch, he shot the stake through his foe's heart.
"Bloody right I am." He whispered, taking in his surroundings.
Buffy was his everything. He needed to protect her.
To do that he needed to be with her.
To do that he needed to lie to her.
To do that, he needed to bear the pain that would come with lying to the only woman he ever, truly, *truly* loved.
~
A/N: Sorry about the really, really short chapter, but that's why its called Interlude, huh? Anyway, the next ones will be normal sized.
There was only one thing on his mind.
Buffy.
What else?
He laughed to himself, taking in the irony of his unlife. For years, the only thing he ever thought about was Buffy and he knew that she would be the only thing he would ever think about again.
But it wasn't supposed to happen that way, he was supposed to keep his emotions intact. He was supposed to move through the plan...the plan that he needed to keep her near him. Not just suddenly grab her and then run away.
Why the hell had he run away?
It would've saved a helluva lot of time if he had just stayed with her, like he wanted to and like she wanted him to.
And he knew she wanted him to.
But something within him told him to get the hell out of there. He hated it...he really hated the fact that he sometimes didn't have any stones.
The truth was, he felt like he couldn't kiss Buffy for one reason.
And it wasn't the bloody plan or whatever the hell he had convinced himself that it was.
It was because he felt like (and knew) that he was lying to her.
He was lying about who he was, really was, where he came from, the reasons he was in Sunnydale...he wasn't being honest with her.
So he felt like he wasn't worthy. Not that he was ever worthy, that was something he knew for a fact, but he felt especially unworthy, now.
But he couldn't just say "Buffy, the reason I ran out on our kiss, isn't because I'm a bloody commitment-phobic, but really its because I'm from your future and I've been lying to you from the beginning and Dawn's your sister and you've died more often than most people and I'm really your future lover here to save you and-"...it would not only be unbelievable, but also way too long.
"You done yet, man?" Spike looked up from his fight, realizing he had spoken entirely out loud. With a quick left punch, he shot the stake through his foe's heart.
"Bloody right I am." He whispered, taking in his surroundings.
Buffy was his everything. He needed to protect her.
To do that he needed to be with her.
To do that he needed to lie to her.
To do that, he needed to bear the pain that would come with lying to the only woman he ever, truly, *truly* loved.
~
A/N: Sorry about the really, really short chapter, but that's why its called Interlude, huh? Anyway, the next ones will be normal sized.
