Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.

Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.

Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.

Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?

Song: I don't want to talk about this.

Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence

Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03





Chapter 3: Just Chipped: Spike




~~~Angel~~~


If someone had come up to me during my long life an announced that Spike would have a little device put into his head to stop him from killing; I would have laughed.

I'm not sure I really want to get started on the whole issue of secret government agencies that run experiments on vampires, but just the fact that Spike has a "chip" as I'm told, is amazing. Frightening, but amazing.

The world is a lot better of a place without another vampire running around thinking of humans as "happy-meals with legs," that's guaranteed. And despite all the things I've said, Spike was always very good at finding happy-meals, who were willing to be eaten.

One less evil for me to worry about.

Hell, even Buffy's admitted, he's too helpless to be staked. This is the silver-lining humans always talk about, because I never wanted to kill Spike, as infuriating as he can be.

I doubt he'll be very happy having to drink pigs blood just like I do… he always gets angry when we become similar. I don't know why, every time he tries to avoid acting like me he makes a bigger mess of things.

Well, Spike, welcome to the good-guy club, because as the saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and you can't beat them anymore. What I wouldn't pay to see you working for the greater good all cooped up.

The only reason he'll be a good guy; Spike couldn't go a day without killing something.

Yeah, I'd so pay to see this. The potential blackmail alone would be worth it. Imagine, Spike, unable to hurt humans… teach him to bother me about my soul!

~~~Darla~~~


If the whole prospect of groups of humans doing experiments on demons didn't bother me, the fact that they got Spike certainly does.

Take backup plan B and cross it out, Spike's out of the game.

I always respected liked the way he hunted, so much contained anger and once he got a little more patient, it was beautiful. The fact that some idiotic humans stripped him of that is abominable!

I maintain my theory that humanity is a repulsive disease.

Poor boy has his own problems now, not worth mentioning that I'm trapped human. Last thing I want is for Spike to near kill himself coming to visit me.

Masochists are so damn infuriating!

He would, too. Spike would crawl hands and knees to get here, half-starved, just to gloat over my deathbed. It'd be quite pleasant for him, I imagine, seeing me human and dying.

That's right, Spike, I'm a fucking bitch, but at least when I was a vampire I could still bite people. Ooh, it'd be so nice to argue with him again. Prove that I'm still on top of at least one game; go out remembered.

It's not like anyone else would bother to visit me, Dru's off her rocker, so that leaves my boys. And wouldn't Spike rub it in so much if he found out I considered him one of my boys?

Somehow, Spike weakened and forced to eat that horrid pigs blood doesn't cheer me up like it should. There's not going to be any of us left, the Scourges of Europe. Dru's crazier than ever, Angel still has that wretched soul, Spike's got some metal stuck in his brain, and I'm human, soon I'll be dead.

Amazing how at peace I've become about that… I only hope that Spike stays on our side, doesn't give in to the spiel of the good-guys.

For hell's sake, Spike, take a knife and dig the thing out! It's not some brilliant philosophy, remember, you like knives!

~~~Drusilla~~~


Floating 'round inside his head, I can see it. Hissing, hissing, little noises, ugly little noises.

They've gone and taken my Spikey away, they have. First daddy went away, then grandmummy; and now my little boy with the nasty metal.

Makes me want to cry, ugly black tears while blood drips from animals. Animals! Come to mummy, I'll make it all better. Follow the daisy field where the moon shines and it'll be all better.

Nasty Slayer has him now, my Spikey, hid him away from me, keeping that ugly hissing metal right where it has no business being. Nothing can be in his brain except me, it's all gushy, my brain.

My Spikey. Mine, not that nasty little Slayer's, she can't take him like she took daddy.

First heads then bodies, have to take out that hissing metal, make my Spike well again. Mummy'll take care of you, just like you took care of mummy when I was ill.

That's what it is, I can see it now; sickness it is, stopping my Spikey from killing. Killing is what he does best; you wait and see, we'll fix him up for a slaughter.

Won't have those horrible little thoughts spinning 'round in his head, make him all twisted up inside. It's crushing the butterfly, snapping off its wings. Not now, stay away; keep the hands away.

No! He's on fire with hot metal burning in his head. Fire, fire…

Pretty little fire, doing rotten things to my Spikey.