DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.
a/n: Japanfan - No, it's not that I don't know what to write any more (I have plenty of the chapters written, I just don't have time to post). Because of the nature of this particular story, this part of the plot has already been decided. I just have to put it all into the right "perpective." I have to make sure the right parts connect, or else someone like Sunshine/Kawaii Cat will probably come and hunt me down. It almost doesn't matter anymore. And as a note on the time, yes it's going to pass faster. I made that particular decision a long time ago. And because I'm repeating myself and I'm nearly bored to death writing about this part (not the best thing for an author to admit, but at least I'm being honest, but then again, I'm noted for being "brutally honest" at all the wrong times -_-').... I'm running out of things for Syaoran to say, as Japanfan has noted. ^_^
On a even more self-centered note: WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I can't find the disk with my originals for I'm not the one for you and Phoenix rising!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;_; It was in the box with all my disks in it and ....then....now....i can't find it! A disk can't just up and run away! How? How? How? Good thing ff.net has that backup function now. I'm still sad over my lost disk though. *sniff*
Ok. This was a really long author's note. I don't like having long author's notes. Sorry. On with the fic! XD
In the back of my head, I really did understand how this whole thing happened. Sakura didn't associate Kiramati with her lost love anymore. The Realms, however, were a constant reminder of what she had lost, probably because we live in a rather static place. Everything looks the same here today as it did over three thousand years ago when I first came. I'm sure Kiramati failed to remind Sakura of anything because the Realms of the Gods is probably the only place that stays the same forever.
As much as I thank Yue for opening Sakura's heart, I try not to think about those years too much. One thing that I believe is worth mentioning is Kaiba's death about a year and a half after Sakura had gone. I didn't even know a God could die.
He had accidentally found out where Sakura was while Sakura was speaking with me. I'm not sure how he decided when to strike, but she was...very....pregnent. They fought for a little while, Kaiba nearly killed her before the Fates intervened. Clever of them to do that at the last minute. I don't know how to describe it. They formed a triangle around him and their white magic surrounded him and then he was gone. It must have been painful; his screams still haunt my dreams sometimes.
The time right before Kaiba's discovery of Sakura was tense for the rest of us. Kaho, Eriol, and I spent most of our time watching Kaiba and Sakura. If I could reclaim all the sleep I lost watching over those two, I would. And what Kaiba did...I think he went crazy near the end. I really think he completely lost his already shaky grasp on reality.
The Fates were right in killing him. If only for what he did. Kaiba defiled human life. He gave up his right to be a god the moment he took that servant girl and treated her the way he did. But now I've said to much. There never really was a "good" time to discuss Kaiba's insaity.
Then Sakura lost her baby. Sakura and I don't like to talk about this very much either. But she had used up so much of herself fighting Kaiba that there wasn't any energy left for her child. I know about everything that happened, we just decided that some memories are unhealthy to dwell on.
She stayed on Kiramati for another twenty years or so. For her, they were twenty wonderful years, but for me, I was only whiling the time away somehow. Hitas came and gave me a long lecture on "mental well being" one day. "Where were you when Kaiba needed you?" I asked.
She gave me a hard look and then said slowly, "Even the gods are controlled by Fate and Destiny, Syaoran." She looked at me remorsefully and then left.
Hitas had been forbidden from helping Kaiba, but she must have wanted to. That was why we didn't know about what he was doing sooner! Had I found out about this before Kaiba's death, I would have cursed the Fates. But we try to keep these things as quiet as possible.
A horrible plauge swept through Kiramati one year. I didn't know about it. I wasn't even the first to find out. Kaho told me.
"Yue's dead." Imagine being woken up to hear that your "rival" is dead. Kaiba had died, but Kaiba was different. I actually was OK with Yue. He was everything I would have wanted to be for Sakura even though he was a mortal. I was at the funeral. Sakura didn't see me. It would have scandalized her nobles if she was seen with me, an unknown male friend. I vaugely knew her children, but I didn't want to offend them by being seen as someone to replace their father.
Sakura gave Yue a beautiful funeral. He was buried in a romantic little arbor of trees behind the castle. Afterwards, she snuck out of the funeral party and sat by his grave for a long time. I almost appeared just to make sure she got out of the cold, but her friends, Nakuru and Tomoyo came for her. Sakura didn't want to leave.
I wondered if and when she would come back to the Realms of the Gods. She could have stayed for a long, long time to see here children and her grandchildren. Instead, she showed up at my doorstep a few days later. "Can I stay here? I don't want to go back to my house."
Her arrival was completly unexpected. Even though she was still mourning, she looked as beautiful as she did when she had left twenty years ago. "As if you had to ask."
A month passed, and then another. Sakura stopped wearing mourning clothes, but in her heart, she was still grieving. Sakura saw everything, but she didn't really see anything. She'd eat mechanically, and sit for hours at a time, staring at the scenery outside. I wanted to talk to her about something, anything! Just to make sure that she was still alive in the shell of a body she seemed to be inhabiting. "Don't worry about it too much, Syaoran," Kaho comforted me. "When she's ready to talk, she'll come to you."
"How do you know?"
"It was like that before, it will be like that again."
And sure enough, she did. I remember very clearly that day because it was the first day I started to really bring her back to life. Eriol and Kaho were visiting, I can't remember what we talked about. Then Sakura came down the stairs. Without saying a word, I don't know if her brain even registered the fact that Eriol and Kaho were in the same room as her, she sat down and sighed.
She had been crying again. She must have just woken up because she had stopped crying over Yue while she was awake a long time ago, but when she was asleep, she kept on crying. "We should go," Kaho suggested tactfully to Eriol who agreed. She waved at Sakura, but like I said, I don't thing her brain was thinking to hard about anything then.
We sat together for a long time. What was she here to talk about? Or did she just want to be with me? I didn't want to bet on either. "Do you remember the day I left?" she finally asked in a tired, timid voice.
"How could I forget?" I asked.
The distant look in her eyes tore at my heart. She was thinking about the past again.
"You hugged me that day....can I have a hug?"
It had been a while since another person had touched her and as soon as I did, she started to cry. "I'm sorry, I just feel so alone right now. I feel lost. I don't know what to do." She apologized over and over again.
"Sakura, Sakura. You'll never be alone...You'll never be alone because you'll always have me," I said. I had to keep myself from joining her sobbing. Watching her cry made me feel pathetic. I hated seeing people cry, especially Sakura.
From that day on, we started talking more and more. The two of us seemed to get to know each other better and better, and Sakura started to return to who she had been. "Goodness, Syaoran, you're a miracle worker!" Hitas praised when she saw the change in Sakura. She had nearly given up on Sakura earlier but than again.
"Even the gods are controlled by Fate and Destiny," I quoted at her.
She made a face. "I hate being quoted."
Ten years passed. They were a quick ten years. Sakura had returned to normal, but was not completely living with me. She'd pretty much moved in. I think she left things in her old house just for the sake of appearances, but she ended up surrounding mine with cherry trees.
I wonder if she started to suspect my feelings. I couldn't tell and because we were both Gods, I could conceal my thoughts from her.
Every day I looked at her, I loved her even more, so when the Fates came to me, I was a little irritated. They sent me on a job in the mortal realms. There were some families I had to watch for a little while. "Why me?" I asked.
"Because we need your bias," Enti replied.
"My bias?"
"Erm..." Vega looked embarrassed. "You'll see."
"We need to know about these families from your eyes," Soko added.
"Why?"
"Never mind why, you'll find out in a few years.
"Soko!" the other two Fates admonished.
I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. Who do you want me to go watch."
Enti rattled off huge list of names. I looked at her. "Forget it. We'll be in contact with you the whole way, so you don't have to remember anything Enti just said," Vega said.
So I told Sakura I was leaving on a trip and then...left.
For months, I traveled, watching the way a few chosen families behaved. "I feel like a pervert," I informed the Fates one day. I had to watch how they treated their children, how they treated strangers, how they treated each other.
"Would it be any condolance if we told you that you aren't a perv?" Enti suggested.
"Very funny," I gritted my teath as the parents of the current family under watch pelted waste at a beggar.
"Not them, not them at all," Vega commented.
"What?"
"Did I just say that so you could hear? Oops."
"Ok, now I really want to know what's going on."
"You aren't allowed to yet," Soko firmly replied.
"Oh, so the yet implies that I'll find out eventually?"
There was silence for a long time. "You can go home now, Syaoran."
"That was sudden."
"What? Do you want us to pretend to mull over our decision for a few days first, because we can do that too," Enti retorted.
"No, no, I'm good. I think I'll be leaving now."
I wandered back to my own house. From far away, I could see Sakura standing next to one of the cherry trees. When I got closer, I could see that she looked sad. For a moment, I imagined she was thinking about Yue, and then I remembered the dream. The dream that had started all of this in the first place! I knew what was going to happen next. She was going to...we were going to...I didn't want to believe it, but it was happening.
Sakura saw me and ran into my hug and then.
And then she started kissing me. Just like in the dream. I couldn't believe it. After so many years of waiting, it had finally come true! All those years when I had looked but not touched had finally paid off!
"What brought on this sudden burst of affection?" I asked warily.
"Syaoran, I need you. I need you more then I thought I did. I..I love you." I nearly fainted with joy at those words. I needed her too.
Everything my mother and sisters had said to me all those years ago came flooding back. Meiling's death, the realization of who I had to be. All those memories of my early life came back to me. I could feel the tears in my eyes. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time. A very long time."
I kissed her again. Her mouth, her cheeks, her chin, her neck. I kissed everything she would let me. And then she said it. She whispered a little word that made me stop. "Yue." As soon as the word escaped her precious lips, I stopped. I knew she was in love with me now, I knew it, but that didn't stop me from stopping. I let her out of my embrace and slumped away, unsure of how to react.
I could hear her call my name, but I didn't want to go back just yet. I needed a chance to cool off. Behind me, I heard her sob outloud and the run away.
a/n: Excellent. heh, heh, heh...That was supposed to be a "Mr. Burns" impression, from the Simpsons. I've seen like two episodes of that show, but I guess that's what Mr. Burns does. Booya! Take that Kaiba! I write you out like lightning! *does back flip* Who was sick of hearing about Kaiba! Who wants to know why they don't talk about what happened? Who wanted to know what the Fates were up to? Who wantes to know what's going on with s/s???
Don't forget to be a responsible reader and review. ;P
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