"Wait," Joey stopped him from leaving. "Am I throwing you a bachelor party or not?"

"Oh, that." Chandler sat down and cleared his throat regretfully. "Look, I'm sorry, but I promised Monica--"

"So break the promise!" Joey whined. "Come on, you have the rest of your life to be a whipped husband, Chandler. Don't start now!"

"I'm not whipped!"

"Then how come you're paying for the whole wedding, but she won't let you have a bachelor party?"

"She didn't *order* me not to have it. We talked it over--"

"You mean she talked you into thinking it was your idea. Look, it's bad enough that you're gonna have to give up stuff when you get married, Chandler. Don't give up your bachelor party too."

"But I really don't mind, Joey! It doesn't make any difference to me."

"It doesn't?" Joey looked hurt. "But it's our last chance to hang out before your wedding. It's the last time we're gonna be like we are now."

"What are you talking about? We're still gonna be friends, Joey. I'm not dying or moving away, just getting married."

"I know, but it won't be the same. I mean, we've already stopped hanging out as much as we used to. Remember how close we were before you dated Monica? Then you moved in with her, and even though it was just across the hall, I still didn't get to see you as much. When you're married, it'll get even worse."

Chandler shook his head. "No, come on! I know things have changed, Joe, but I would never shut you out. I don't want to lose you."

"You can't help it. She--"

"No!" Chandler answered firmly. "Sure, Monica hates the birds and doesn't let them visit, but she's not gonna forbid me to see you. Why would you even think that?"

Joey shrugged. "It's just, you know, 'cause I'm still seeing all these hot women, and maybe she doesn't approve of you being around so much temptation. I mean, it happened to some of my cousins when their friends got married."

"Well it's not gonna happen to us. Monica's not the crazy jealous one; I am!"

"Then why won't she let you have a bachelor's party? When you were getting over Kathy, Monica took you to a strip joint and bought you lap dances, but now she won't even let you have one stripper. It's how wives get."

"That doesn't mean anything, Joey! Come on, Monica's your friend too, and you will always be with us. I mean, just recently we were talking about what our marriage was gonna be like, and you were there, Joe."

"I was?" Joey looked surprised and somewhat skeptical.

"Of course! Me and Monica are gonna have a nice house in the suburbs to raise our kids, and you're gonna be Uncle Joey, living in the apartment over the garage."

"What about Ross and Phoebe and Rachel?"

"I don't know. They'll live wherever and come visit sometimes. But you'll be there all the time. Ask Monica yourself, if you don't believe me."

Joey saw the sincerity in Chandler's eyes, and was touched. He hugged Chandler close, and didn't mind that this picture of the future implied that Joey would never get married and have his own family. By now, Joey had realized that the chances of him settling down were minimal, and he liked knowing that he'd always be in Chandler's life.

Still holding onto him, Joey asked Chandler, "But what happened to me living in L.A. and flying you over there in my private jet?"

Chandler blinked. "Oh, I forgot about that. Well, maybe you'll only live with us when you're in New York. It'll be your home away from home, you know?"

Joey nodded, and felt certain that his L.A. home would never feel quite the same as his New York home, except when Chandler came to visit. "Hey, you know, we can have a game room in the apartment."

"Yeah?" Chandler looked into his eyes to be sure that Joey wasn't kidding.

"Sure. You always wanted a game room, didn't you?"

Chandler looked excited. "Yeah, with the foosball table and the big arcade games and the barcaloungers..." He laughed like a child getting away with breaking the rules. "And Monica can't tell me I can't have it, because technically it's your apartment! Oh, you're the best!" He was so happy that he kissed Joey on the lips.

They quickly backed away from each other in shock.

"I'm--I'm sorry!" Chandler blushed deeply and covered his face. "Oh my God, how many beers did I have?"

Joey dismissed it. "No, no, it's okay. Forget it about. I mean, I kissed you once, at that New Year's party."

Chandler nodded, but remained rattled. "At--at least no one was around with a camera this time."

"Yeah." To give him some space, Joey got up and started clearing up the empty beer bottles. "I'll go dump the trash."

When Joey returned, Chandler was sitting there brooding.

Joey asked with a shrug, "So you wanna go home now?"

Chandler looked up and cleared his throat nervously. "Um, can you, can you get me a hot stripper for my bachelor party, Joe?"

"Huh? You mean I can throw you a bachelor party?"

"Yeah," Chandler nodded. "Yeah, let's do that. It'll be a secret, right?"

"Right." Joey sat down again and met his eyes. "Are you sure you want to have it? You're not just tired of me nagging you?"

Chandler shook his head. "No, no, we should do it, Joe. I mean, I could use a party about now. All this wedding stress is getting to me."

"But I thought Monica was making all the decisions?"

"Yes! That's the problem. I want to make decisions too, but she has to control every little thing." He sighed. "I know that's just who she is, but it drives me nuts, and the only thing she agreed to was not to spend all my savings. I mean, maybe you're right, Joey. I'm trying to please her too much, and giving her too much control. It's--it's affecting me." He averted his eyes uncomfortably.

"I'm sure the kiss was just--"

Chandler coughed loudly. "Just tell me it's gonna be a great party."

"Of course! It'll be the best, I promise. Do you wanna plan it out with me, or should I just surprise you?"

Chandler shrugged. "Just give me some warning first, so that I can make sure that Monica and I don't have plans that night."

"Sure. But it's gonna be close to the wedding anyway, so she'll be busy with stuff."

"Actually, um, can you make the party sooner than that? Like in the next couple of weeks? I really need it now."

"Okay." Joey felt bad that Chandler was feeling this insecure and stressed out. He squeezed Chandler's shoulder reassuringly and said, "Let's go home now."

***

Joey planned the party for the next weekend. It was easy to hide all the party decorations and liquor on his boat, and he hired a very hot stripper. The secrecy and lack of guests meant that Joey wouldn't be printing any t-shirts for this party, so he decided to get Chandler a present instead.

Joey bought a photo album and put together all the photos of him and Chandler having fun. Occasionally Ross was in there too, and the chick and the duck, but mostly it was just Joey and Chandler, best friends. The photos brought back many happy memories, and Joey smiled as he wrote on the inside, "To my best bud. This is to remind you of the good old days when you had fun, instead of a ball and chain. Ha! Ha! (Don't let Monica see that.) Love, Joey."

That weekend, Joey and Chandler informed Monica as casually as possible that they wanted to have a sleepover on his boat. "We're gonna camp out under the stars."

"Sounds nice. Is Ross going too?"

"No, we're not gonna tell him. He'd probably bring his telescope and try to teach us boring stuff."

"Oh, and Rachel took him on her dad's boat once, and he wore three life jackets."

Monica giggled. "So what should I tell him if he asks where you guys are?"

"Don't worry about that," Joey said. "We told Ross to go out and pick up women with Tag."

Tag was Rachel's young assistant, whom she had a crush on. Rachel had asked Joey to take him out to a Knicks game, hoping to keep Tag from dating any women at work, but Joey taught him how to pick up women in bars. When Rachel bribed Joey to give Tag a lecture against playing the field, Tag decided to get back together with his ex-girlfriend, which Rachel didn't like either.

"Ross is gonna try talking Tag into playing the field again. Even if it works and they go out to the bars, Ross's horrible flirting will repel most of the women that they do meet."

Monica laughed again. "Rachel will certainly approve. Yeah, you guys go on and have fun. It'll give me more time to plan the wedding!"

Chandler made a face, but quickly suppressed his annoyance with a fake smile. "Yeah, how's that going?"

"Good, but I have to figure out how I'm gonna choose my maid of honor. Rachel and Phoebe won't like it if I just make them both bridesmaids, you know?"

"Well, good luck with that."