So Monica suspected nothing. Why would she, when the wedding was months away, and Ross wasn't included in this sleepover?
That night at the marina, the *Mr. Bowmont* was decorated in an appropriately raunchy manner, and Joey already had a party hat on his head.
"Festive," Chandler laughed when he arrived.
Joey grinned and welcomed him aboard, placing a paper crown on Chandler's head and handing him a novelty noisemaker.
Chandler felt a bit silly, but Joey urged, "Loosen up, Chandler! This is a party. A real party, not one of Monica's snoozefests with the fancy food and the boring word games. Live a little."
"Okay." Chandler shrugged and blew on his noisemaker. "So how long until the stripper gets here?"
"Not too long. First, we have to get you *really* drunk!" He handed Chandler a beer to get started, and pointed to the pizza boxes nearby. "Help yourself. I'll be right back." He disappeared into the cabin.
Chandler sat down and waited, vaguely wondering what humiliating party gags Joey had planned for him. He tried to remember the events of Ross's bachelor party, but couldn't recall that much. It was a sign of a good party.
Joey returned with his gift, messily wrapped. "I should give you this while you're still sober."
Chandler was surprised. "What? Since when do we give bachelor party gifts? Or is this for the engagement?"
"Just open it." Joey handed it to him, then grabbed a beer and sat down too.
Chandler unwrapped the gift. "Oh, hey, a photo album. We can put the wedding pictures in this."
Joey frowned. "No, it's not empty. Look inside."
Chandler did so and realized his mistake. "Oh, pictures of us." Then he read Joey's note and laughed. "At least you didn't call her an *old* ball and chain!"
Joey smiled. "So you like it?"
"Yes, it's great! You know, I expected something weddingy for me and Monica, but this is just for me, huh?"
"Yeah. I mean, the wedding's mostly gonna be about Monica anyway, and you're gonna get tons of presents for the two of you. So I figured, if you get stressed out with all this wedding stuff, you can look at this."
"Aw, thanks, Joey." He hugged him with one arm.
Joey grinned. "You're welcome."
"Wow." Chandler glanced through the album happily. "All these photos."
"And look, you're smiling in them. See, you don't take bad pictures."
"I guess not. I guess I'm just relaxed with you." He laughed, "Man, I wish I had smiled like this when we took the engagement pictures. Hey, maybe we'll paste one of these pictures with a picture of Monica, and then we can send it in."
"Sure." Joey liked that idea much better than Monica's weird idea to have Joey stand in for Chandler in the engagement picture. Joey had refused to do it, not wanting to embarrass Chandler publicly or make him think that Monica thought he was replaceable.
Chandler kept looking through the photos and reminiscing, until Joey impatiently took away the album and nagged, "Come on, time for some fun!"
So they played drinking games and got rowdy. Joey had even brought a full-size TV and VCR for them to watch some porn. Chandler thought it would be difficult to have much fun with only two people, but Joey really knew how to throw a party, whatever the size.
Naturally, Joey teased Chandler about the fact that he'd be stuck with one woman for the rest of his life.
"Like I ever got that many girls to begin with," Chandler answered.
Their party attracted the attention of some people from nearby boats, who had been preparing to go sailing that night. A crowd gathered on the pier next to the *Mr. Bowmont* to ask what was going on.
Seeing an opportunity, Joey answered, "It's a bachelor party for my friend, Chandler. If you're bachelors, and you bring your own beer, you can join us." Then he cast an eye at the women in the crowd. "No girls--unless you'll strip."
Some people dispersed without interest, while others took Joey up on the offer, either running to their boats for beer, or pooling money together and sending someone on a beer run to the nearest liquor store.
Amber was in the crowd too, but she smiled and said, "I'll have to pass, Joey. I don't want to know your friend *that* well. Have fun." She waved and returned to her own boat.
"Bye!" Chandler was still amazed by her hotness, all the more amplified by his intoxication.
So the party quickly escalated, filling up the boat and spilling onto the pier. The level of testosterone was high, matched only by the alcohol. Joey stayed sober enough to make sure that the boat wasn't overloaded, and that no one took advantage of their hospitality. He even bounced a few guys for causing trouble. "Go back to your own boats if you're gonna fight."
Chandler didn't know any of the guests besides Joey, who assured him that he'd seen most of the guys before on the docks, tending to their boats or hanging out on friends' boats. The guys were generally friendly and had waved or nodded at Joey on occasion.
The fraternal camaraderie conjured by the alcohol led some guys to affectionately rib Chandler. "So you're the poor sap who's getting married. Good luck!"
"What a raw deal, that she wouldn't let you have the party!"
"Trust me, it's not as bad as those guys whose fiancees make them have a co-ed party." Everyone groaned at that lame idea.
"Do we crash their bridal showers? No!"
Someone offered Chandler a cigar, but Joey snatched it away. "Hey, no! He's not smoking anything. Chandler's quit too many times to count."
"Come on, tonight is his last night of freedom!"
"Yeah, what are you, his mother?"
"I'm the best man! Put the cigar away, or I'll toss it in the water."
Chandler was disappointed, but Joey said, "It's bad for you, and besides, Monica would notice the stink on your clothes tomorrow."
When the stripper arrived, she thought she must be at the wrong party, since she'd been told that there were only two guests. Joey got her attention and said it was the right party; it just got popular. "It's under control," he said.
She skeptically turned to the crowd of drunken men. "How many of you guys have cash to tip with? No, you can't tip with beer, and I don't make change!"
Once that matter was settled, she put down her tape player and started the music. She gave a sexy, thrilling performance, directed mostly at Chandler. "So, do I fog up your glasses?" she teased at one point, and Joey giggled at the memory of Chandler's embarrassing incident in the steam room.
To be continued...
That night at the marina, the *Mr. Bowmont* was decorated in an appropriately raunchy manner, and Joey already had a party hat on his head.
"Festive," Chandler laughed when he arrived.
Joey grinned and welcomed him aboard, placing a paper crown on Chandler's head and handing him a novelty noisemaker.
Chandler felt a bit silly, but Joey urged, "Loosen up, Chandler! This is a party. A real party, not one of Monica's snoozefests with the fancy food and the boring word games. Live a little."
"Okay." Chandler shrugged and blew on his noisemaker. "So how long until the stripper gets here?"
"Not too long. First, we have to get you *really* drunk!" He handed Chandler a beer to get started, and pointed to the pizza boxes nearby. "Help yourself. I'll be right back." He disappeared into the cabin.
Chandler sat down and waited, vaguely wondering what humiliating party gags Joey had planned for him. He tried to remember the events of Ross's bachelor party, but couldn't recall that much. It was a sign of a good party.
Joey returned with his gift, messily wrapped. "I should give you this while you're still sober."
Chandler was surprised. "What? Since when do we give bachelor party gifts? Or is this for the engagement?"
"Just open it." Joey handed it to him, then grabbed a beer and sat down too.
Chandler unwrapped the gift. "Oh, hey, a photo album. We can put the wedding pictures in this."
Joey frowned. "No, it's not empty. Look inside."
Chandler did so and realized his mistake. "Oh, pictures of us." Then he read Joey's note and laughed. "At least you didn't call her an *old* ball and chain!"
Joey smiled. "So you like it?"
"Yes, it's great! You know, I expected something weddingy for me and Monica, but this is just for me, huh?"
"Yeah. I mean, the wedding's mostly gonna be about Monica anyway, and you're gonna get tons of presents for the two of you. So I figured, if you get stressed out with all this wedding stuff, you can look at this."
"Aw, thanks, Joey." He hugged him with one arm.
Joey grinned. "You're welcome."
"Wow." Chandler glanced through the album happily. "All these photos."
"And look, you're smiling in them. See, you don't take bad pictures."
"I guess not. I guess I'm just relaxed with you." He laughed, "Man, I wish I had smiled like this when we took the engagement pictures. Hey, maybe we'll paste one of these pictures with a picture of Monica, and then we can send it in."
"Sure." Joey liked that idea much better than Monica's weird idea to have Joey stand in for Chandler in the engagement picture. Joey had refused to do it, not wanting to embarrass Chandler publicly or make him think that Monica thought he was replaceable.
Chandler kept looking through the photos and reminiscing, until Joey impatiently took away the album and nagged, "Come on, time for some fun!"
So they played drinking games and got rowdy. Joey had even brought a full-size TV and VCR for them to watch some porn. Chandler thought it would be difficult to have much fun with only two people, but Joey really knew how to throw a party, whatever the size.
Naturally, Joey teased Chandler about the fact that he'd be stuck with one woman for the rest of his life.
"Like I ever got that many girls to begin with," Chandler answered.
Their party attracted the attention of some people from nearby boats, who had been preparing to go sailing that night. A crowd gathered on the pier next to the *Mr. Bowmont* to ask what was going on.
Seeing an opportunity, Joey answered, "It's a bachelor party for my friend, Chandler. If you're bachelors, and you bring your own beer, you can join us." Then he cast an eye at the women in the crowd. "No girls--unless you'll strip."
Some people dispersed without interest, while others took Joey up on the offer, either running to their boats for beer, or pooling money together and sending someone on a beer run to the nearest liquor store.
Amber was in the crowd too, but she smiled and said, "I'll have to pass, Joey. I don't want to know your friend *that* well. Have fun." She waved and returned to her own boat.
"Bye!" Chandler was still amazed by her hotness, all the more amplified by his intoxication.
So the party quickly escalated, filling up the boat and spilling onto the pier. The level of testosterone was high, matched only by the alcohol. Joey stayed sober enough to make sure that the boat wasn't overloaded, and that no one took advantage of their hospitality. He even bounced a few guys for causing trouble. "Go back to your own boats if you're gonna fight."
Chandler didn't know any of the guests besides Joey, who assured him that he'd seen most of the guys before on the docks, tending to their boats or hanging out on friends' boats. The guys were generally friendly and had waved or nodded at Joey on occasion.
The fraternal camaraderie conjured by the alcohol led some guys to affectionately rib Chandler. "So you're the poor sap who's getting married. Good luck!"
"What a raw deal, that she wouldn't let you have the party!"
"Trust me, it's not as bad as those guys whose fiancees make them have a co-ed party." Everyone groaned at that lame idea.
"Do we crash their bridal showers? No!"
Someone offered Chandler a cigar, but Joey snatched it away. "Hey, no! He's not smoking anything. Chandler's quit too many times to count."
"Come on, tonight is his last night of freedom!"
"Yeah, what are you, his mother?"
"I'm the best man! Put the cigar away, or I'll toss it in the water."
Chandler was disappointed, but Joey said, "It's bad for you, and besides, Monica would notice the stink on your clothes tomorrow."
When the stripper arrived, she thought she must be at the wrong party, since she'd been told that there were only two guests. Joey got her attention and said it was the right party; it just got popular. "It's under control," he said.
She skeptically turned to the crowd of drunken men. "How many of you guys have cash to tip with? No, you can't tip with beer, and I don't make change!"
Once that matter was settled, she put down her tape player and started the music. She gave a sexy, thrilling performance, directed mostly at Chandler. "So, do I fog up your glasses?" she teased at one point, and Joey giggled at the memory of Chandler's embarrassing incident in the steam room.
To be continued...
