In the morning, Chandler woke up slowly, and it took him a minute to recognize that he was on Joey's sailboat. His head was throbbing, and he didn't remember much from the party, so it surely must have been good. Chandler found a flashlight and photo album near him on the floor, then discovered to his dismay that his glasses had been smashed underneath the photo album.
How would he explain that to Monica? "We were camping in our sleeping bags, and then I accidentally rolled over onto my glasses."
Behind him, Joey woke up too and looked at Chandler's back in silence. Last night's kiss still worried and unnerved him. Why had he kissed Chandler, period, let alone passionately? And what about Chandler's reaction to the kiss? Surely he was just drunk, not gay? Surely the "I love you" was just as meaningless as the stuff that Chandler said to Joey's sister Mary Angela, that time that they fooled around in a storage room.
Remembering that drunken incident from his birthday party, Joey felt better. Yeah, the kiss definitely meant nothing. So Joey took a breath and spoke cautiously, "Hey."
Chandler turned around. "Oh, morning, Joe. Look what happened." He showed Joey his broken glasses.
"Oh, that's too bad."
Chandler shrugged. "Two weeks and they're smashed already! I guess I can't take care of these things very well. I always forget the case. Maybe I should get contacts instead."
For a moment, Joey feared that Chandler actually remembered that conversation and the subsequent kiss. But Chandler said nothing about it, so Joey cleared his throat. "Can you turn around for a sec? I'm gonna get dressed now." He was naked again, because he had removed the boxers when he returned to his sleeping bag for the last time last night.
So Chandler turned and listened to Joey unzipping the sleeping bag and getting out. As he looked at his glasses, Chandler realized that he could see a reflection of Joey, naked. He knew that Joey slept naked, though it managed to still surprise him sometimes, such as when he had tried to roll Joey over to stop his snoring. Chandler even had a more hands-on encounter once, when he helped Joey take a shower because of his hernia.
Chandler got a strange feeling of deja vu then, and he kept watching the reflection in his glasses while Joey got dressed. Why not watch? He'd seen Joey naked many times already.
Joey finished dressing, then started to roll up his sleeping bag. "How you feeling, Chandler? You wanna get up yet, or sleep in?"
Chandler shrugged and put down his glasses. He rolled onto his back and watched Joey going around cleaning up the mess in the cabin. "What time is it?"
"It's about seven. Don't worry, you've got plenty of time to get back to Monica. We'll stop for some coffee on our way home."
"Okay."
After putting stuff away, Joey said, "I'm gonna go and take down the decorations. You gonna be okay here?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." So Joey went outside and began to remove all traces of the bachelor party from his boat's exterior.
Chandler just lay there and tried to recall details of the party, but his headache made it difficult. He remembered the stripper, and a bunch of guys, and a craving he had for a cigar. But Joey had said no to him, had said "No" firmly and several times. But why did Chandler think that the "No" applied to more than just a cigar? He felt like he was missing something.
With a shrug, Chandler picked up the photo album and reread Joey's note with a smile. What a great gift! It made him feel warm and happy.
Suddenly, Chandler heard a vaguely familiar voice outside the cabin.
"Hey, Joey! Need any help?"
"Hi, Amber! Yeah, if you don't mind."
Eager to see the hot woman again, Chandler got out of his sleeping bag and went to peek out of the windows.
Amber smiled flirtatiously. "So, from what I heard, you guys had a great party last night." She stood rather close to Joey as they both took down decorations.
Joey nodded. "Yeah, it was great."
"Maybe we'll have a private party for just us, and I'll do a little strip for you."
Joey liked that idea, not just because of Amber's hotness, but because he wanted to get back to normal quickly, after last night's kiss. "Yeah, um, you wanna do that tonight?"
"Sure." She leaned in to kiss him.
In a flash, Chandler suddenly hated Amber. He remembered Joey kissing him last night, and now the sight of her with Joey made him furiously jealous.
"Joey!" he shouted.
They both turned, startled.
Chandler opened the cabin door, and asked him, "Come here. Please. I'm--I'm gonna be sick."
Joey quickly excused himself from Amber and went back inside, kneeling down beside Chandler. "You okay?"
Chandler clung to Joey and wished that Amber would leave so they could talk, but she remained outside the door.
Joey pulled the bucket nearer and waited for Chandler to vomit, but he just sat there.
"Is it a false alarm?" Amber asked.
Chandler tried to vomit to spite her, but could only manage to look queasy. He complained, "My head hurts. I'm dizzy."
Joey soothed him. "It's okay. I think I've got some aspirin." He got up and retrieved the pills, along with some water to wash them down with. "You wanna lie down again?"
Chandler cooperated, but still clung to Joey's arms. There was no way he'd let Joey go back and kiss that Amber. He moaned a bit, to make Joey more concerned for him.
Seeing that this could take a while, Amber glanced at her watch and said, "Joey? I'll come by tonight. At eight."
Joey tried to turn around to answer her, but Chandler wouldn't let him. Joey awkwardly said over his shoulder, "Um, I'll see you."
After she left the boat, Chandler said to Joey softly, "I remember."
"What?"
"I remember you kissing me."
Shocked, Joey anxiously backed away and apologized, "I'm sorry. I was drunk. I--"
Chandler looked hurt. "How could you kiss her? So soon after me? How could you sleep with her and not me?"
Joey blinked and didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction at all.
"Don't I--don't I mean anything to you?" Chandler asked. "You kissed me like, like--" he choked up, "like you meant it, like I was the only one. But then you just push me away and tell me that I imagined it! And you go to kiss her, like nothing ever happened."
Joey stammered, "I was just, I was--Look, I didn't mean to kiss you, Chandler! Why would you think--?" He stared at him and frowned. "Are you saying you're gay?"
Chandler moaned miserably. "I tried! I really tried! I had the whole big macho party. I watched all the porn, and the hot stripper, and I tried to stop thinking about the kiss from before. But you just, you had to be so naked and close and--" he gulped, "look at me like that. It wasn't even me this time. You kissed me. Doesn't that mean something?"
Joey shrugged and averted his eyes uncomfortably. "Mean what, Chandler? We were drunk. Both drunk."
"Not you. Not like I was. You kissed me."
"So?" Joey stubbornly dismissed it. "It was, um--I'm not gay, all right? I'm not. I don't know about you, but I'm defintely not. That was just... something that happened, like New Year's, and we should just forget about it."
"Like we forgot about the shower?" They had sworn never to mention the shower again, but Joey had broken the promise almost immediately. "And why'd you put the New Year's picture in here?" He pointed to the photo album.
"I don't know. 'Cause it was funny or something. It was just a kiss, Chandler. It didn't mean anything!"
"But we keep kissing, or hugging, or touching. All the time."
"Because we're friends! Just friends. Every time we've kissed, it was because we'd had some beer already. That's all it was."
"And that's why you never let yourself get really drunk?"
Joey insisted, "Chandler, just drop this! I wasn't coming onto you. We're just friends, and you're engaged--"
"I know!" Chandler knocked over the bucket in frustration. He grabbed the photo album and held it close to him, looking very upset. "Stupid wedding stuff, and Monica only cares about *her* presents and *her* dress and *her* centerpieces. And her stupid DOG! And you were the only one that even listened to me. That thought about my game room and my party and my feelings. And then you kiss me like that, and I'm supposed to forget it?"
"Yes! Chandler, if you're upset with her, then go tell her off. Put your foot down. If you think you're gay and not just drunk, then you're gonna have to tell her that too. But it doesn't have anything to do with me." Joey got up and went to the door angrily. "You get dressed and get ready to go. I'm gonna finish cleaning up." He exited and slammed the door behind him.
Chandler lay there miserably on the floor, rejected and alone. He opened up the photo album again and found the page with the New Year's photo. Running his fingers across their faces, he kissed it and wished desperately that Joey would love him back.
How would he explain that to Monica? "We were camping in our sleeping bags, and then I accidentally rolled over onto my glasses."
Behind him, Joey woke up too and looked at Chandler's back in silence. Last night's kiss still worried and unnerved him. Why had he kissed Chandler, period, let alone passionately? And what about Chandler's reaction to the kiss? Surely he was just drunk, not gay? Surely the "I love you" was just as meaningless as the stuff that Chandler said to Joey's sister Mary Angela, that time that they fooled around in a storage room.
Remembering that drunken incident from his birthday party, Joey felt better. Yeah, the kiss definitely meant nothing. So Joey took a breath and spoke cautiously, "Hey."
Chandler turned around. "Oh, morning, Joe. Look what happened." He showed Joey his broken glasses.
"Oh, that's too bad."
Chandler shrugged. "Two weeks and they're smashed already! I guess I can't take care of these things very well. I always forget the case. Maybe I should get contacts instead."
For a moment, Joey feared that Chandler actually remembered that conversation and the subsequent kiss. But Chandler said nothing about it, so Joey cleared his throat. "Can you turn around for a sec? I'm gonna get dressed now." He was naked again, because he had removed the boxers when he returned to his sleeping bag for the last time last night.
So Chandler turned and listened to Joey unzipping the sleeping bag and getting out. As he looked at his glasses, Chandler realized that he could see a reflection of Joey, naked. He knew that Joey slept naked, though it managed to still surprise him sometimes, such as when he had tried to roll Joey over to stop his snoring. Chandler even had a more hands-on encounter once, when he helped Joey take a shower because of his hernia.
Chandler got a strange feeling of deja vu then, and he kept watching the reflection in his glasses while Joey got dressed. Why not watch? He'd seen Joey naked many times already.
Joey finished dressing, then started to roll up his sleeping bag. "How you feeling, Chandler? You wanna get up yet, or sleep in?"
Chandler shrugged and put down his glasses. He rolled onto his back and watched Joey going around cleaning up the mess in the cabin. "What time is it?"
"It's about seven. Don't worry, you've got plenty of time to get back to Monica. We'll stop for some coffee on our way home."
"Okay."
After putting stuff away, Joey said, "I'm gonna go and take down the decorations. You gonna be okay here?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." So Joey went outside and began to remove all traces of the bachelor party from his boat's exterior.
Chandler just lay there and tried to recall details of the party, but his headache made it difficult. He remembered the stripper, and a bunch of guys, and a craving he had for a cigar. But Joey had said no to him, had said "No" firmly and several times. But why did Chandler think that the "No" applied to more than just a cigar? He felt like he was missing something.
With a shrug, Chandler picked up the photo album and reread Joey's note with a smile. What a great gift! It made him feel warm and happy.
Suddenly, Chandler heard a vaguely familiar voice outside the cabin.
"Hey, Joey! Need any help?"
"Hi, Amber! Yeah, if you don't mind."
Eager to see the hot woman again, Chandler got out of his sleeping bag and went to peek out of the windows.
Amber smiled flirtatiously. "So, from what I heard, you guys had a great party last night." She stood rather close to Joey as they both took down decorations.
Joey nodded. "Yeah, it was great."
"Maybe we'll have a private party for just us, and I'll do a little strip for you."
Joey liked that idea, not just because of Amber's hotness, but because he wanted to get back to normal quickly, after last night's kiss. "Yeah, um, you wanna do that tonight?"
"Sure." She leaned in to kiss him.
In a flash, Chandler suddenly hated Amber. He remembered Joey kissing him last night, and now the sight of her with Joey made him furiously jealous.
"Joey!" he shouted.
They both turned, startled.
Chandler opened the cabin door, and asked him, "Come here. Please. I'm--I'm gonna be sick."
Joey quickly excused himself from Amber and went back inside, kneeling down beside Chandler. "You okay?"
Chandler clung to Joey and wished that Amber would leave so they could talk, but she remained outside the door.
Joey pulled the bucket nearer and waited for Chandler to vomit, but he just sat there.
"Is it a false alarm?" Amber asked.
Chandler tried to vomit to spite her, but could only manage to look queasy. He complained, "My head hurts. I'm dizzy."
Joey soothed him. "It's okay. I think I've got some aspirin." He got up and retrieved the pills, along with some water to wash them down with. "You wanna lie down again?"
Chandler cooperated, but still clung to Joey's arms. There was no way he'd let Joey go back and kiss that Amber. He moaned a bit, to make Joey more concerned for him.
Seeing that this could take a while, Amber glanced at her watch and said, "Joey? I'll come by tonight. At eight."
Joey tried to turn around to answer her, but Chandler wouldn't let him. Joey awkwardly said over his shoulder, "Um, I'll see you."
After she left the boat, Chandler said to Joey softly, "I remember."
"What?"
"I remember you kissing me."
Shocked, Joey anxiously backed away and apologized, "I'm sorry. I was drunk. I--"
Chandler looked hurt. "How could you kiss her? So soon after me? How could you sleep with her and not me?"
Joey blinked and didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction at all.
"Don't I--don't I mean anything to you?" Chandler asked. "You kissed me like, like--" he choked up, "like you meant it, like I was the only one. But then you just push me away and tell me that I imagined it! And you go to kiss her, like nothing ever happened."
Joey stammered, "I was just, I was--Look, I didn't mean to kiss you, Chandler! Why would you think--?" He stared at him and frowned. "Are you saying you're gay?"
Chandler moaned miserably. "I tried! I really tried! I had the whole big macho party. I watched all the porn, and the hot stripper, and I tried to stop thinking about the kiss from before. But you just, you had to be so naked and close and--" he gulped, "look at me like that. It wasn't even me this time. You kissed me. Doesn't that mean something?"
Joey shrugged and averted his eyes uncomfortably. "Mean what, Chandler? We were drunk. Both drunk."
"Not you. Not like I was. You kissed me."
"So?" Joey stubbornly dismissed it. "It was, um--I'm not gay, all right? I'm not. I don't know about you, but I'm defintely not. That was just... something that happened, like New Year's, and we should just forget about it."
"Like we forgot about the shower?" They had sworn never to mention the shower again, but Joey had broken the promise almost immediately. "And why'd you put the New Year's picture in here?" He pointed to the photo album.
"I don't know. 'Cause it was funny or something. It was just a kiss, Chandler. It didn't mean anything!"
"But we keep kissing, or hugging, or touching. All the time."
"Because we're friends! Just friends. Every time we've kissed, it was because we'd had some beer already. That's all it was."
"And that's why you never let yourself get really drunk?"
Joey insisted, "Chandler, just drop this! I wasn't coming onto you. We're just friends, and you're engaged--"
"I know!" Chandler knocked over the bucket in frustration. He grabbed the photo album and held it close to him, looking very upset. "Stupid wedding stuff, and Monica only cares about *her* presents and *her* dress and *her* centerpieces. And her stupid DOG! And you were the only one that even listened to me. That thought about my game room and my party and my feelings. And then you kiss me like that, and I'm supposed to forget it?"
"Yes! Chandler, if you're upset with her, then go tell her off. Put your foot down. If you think you're gay and not just drunk, then you're gonna have to tell her that too. But it doesn't have anything to do with me." Joey got up and went to the door angrily. "You get dressed and get ready to go. I'm gonna finish cleaning up." He exited and slammed the door behind him.
Chandler lay there miserably on the floor, rejected and alone. He opened up the photo album again and found the page with the New Year's photo. Running his fingers across their faces, he kissed it and wished desperately that Joey would love him back.
