A/N: "| |" now indicates a Buffy future-flashback-thinga-mabobber.

~

Buffy twiddled her stake delicately between her fingers as a light March rain drizzled down onto her hair. Ugh. I'm gonna need some serious frizz control later. She thought ruefully, fingering her ponytail.

"Buffy." A masculine voice said from behind her. She spun around and came face to face with Angel.

"Well. Long time, no see. It's been what, 2 months now?" She asked, not really expecting an answer.

"3, actually."

"What do ya know, * more * déjà vu." Buffy muttered, remembering her last conversation with Angel in December.

He replied, wringing his hands together, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well...I managed." She said, shrugging.

"How are you?" Angel asked suddenly, falling in step with the Slayer.

"Okay. You?"

"Okay." They walked in silence for a few moments and Buffy began to whistle, rolling her thumb over the blunt end of her stake.

"I missed you." Angel said, stealing a quick glance at her. Buffy laughed and shook her head.

"I'd be lying if I said I was completely unworried about you, too. I mean, last time I saw you, you got in a fight with Spike and the time before that we...I mean...well, you know."

"I do." Angel stopped and turned toward her, feeling the pit of his stomach rise and fall with anticipated breaths. Buffy blinked her eyes down shyly and then looked up at him again.

"I've wanted to come see you." He admitted, "I just never felt that the time was right."

"And what was so right about this time?" Buffy asked. Angel shrugged and smiled. Buffy smiled back.

"Buffy, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Angel sharply took in a breath.

"Are you...I mean, are you...still...do you still have feeling things for...you know?" Angel motioned wildly, thinking of Spike. However, Buffy stopped him and looked at him gently.

"No, I don't." She was about to apologize to him when his face broke out into a huge grin.

"Well, great!" Buffy was taken aback by this. She frowned and stepped away.

"Great?" She asked, not sure she heard correctly.

"Yes, of course it's great! How did you think I'd react?"

"Well..." Buffy began, "I wasn't really sure, but a little groveling would've been-"

"Groveling? No, no...I have no reason to do that. Not for him." Buffy nodded, confused. Not for him? What's that supposed to mean? Buffy shook that away, cursing herself for being overly analytical and opted for just smiling.

"That's a good attitude to have." She said.

"I think so." Buffy looked down at her watch.

"It's getting late, my mom will go postal if I'm not home in about, oh, now. But hopefully I'll see you again." Angel smiled and kissed her hand.

"Definitely." He murmured. Buffy smiled warmly at him, waved, and walked away.

~

"Hold on, you talked to the poof?" Spike asked Buffy at their usual post- patrol Bronze table, "And he was okay with the two of us being together?"

"First of all, his name's Angel. Second, why wouldn't he be? Apparently, he spent the last 3 months getting over me."

"Right." Spike rolled his eyes and took another sip of his beer.

"You don't think so?"

"Just seems unlikely, is all." Spike said curtly, wanting to end the conversation, "So, how was your day at school?" Buffy gave him a weird look before shrugging.

"Fine, I guess. Got called into Snyder's office again."

"Miss Summers, what did you do?" Spike asked jokingly.

"He doesn't like me going to the library so much. Thinks I'll get smart. But I'm onto his tricks..." Buffy laughed and took Spike's beer, who immediately disentangled her fingers.

"Hey!" Buffy protested.

"You and alcohol are like bloody water and oil, luv."

"How did you know that?"

Shit.

Spike laughed awkwardly.

"Just a guess." Buffy cut him off by gripping the side of the table.

| And the only person I can stand to be around is a * vampire * who cheats at kitten poker... |

| You want a drink? A world of no. |

Buffy loosened her hold, but looked up at Spike with terror.

"Oh my God. I'm having those feelings again." Spike bit his lip.

"Well, uh..."

"Spike, this is serious. There's something that's trying to make me aware of something." She looked up at him, question marks for eyes. Spike clenched his jaw and tilted his head with strain.

"You'll be fine." He whispered, before taking on a more pleasant sounding voice. " 'Sides, it's American piss, anyway. I don't want to subject you to the torture of drinking this." Spike made a face as he took another sip.

" * You're * drinking it." Buffy commented.

"I like the taste of beer * that * much. Besides, after years of drinking pig's blood as opposed to human, drinking American beer as opposed to British or...ooh! Or Belgian! Anyway, that's nothing."

"Did you just say 'ooh?'" Buffy laughed. Spike shrugged and leaned back, embarrassed, "So, I'll probably regret asking this, but...there * is * a difference between animal and human blood?" Spike nodded vigorously.

"Hell yeah. Human blood is..." Spike trailed off before going into a deep description and squinted at Buffy, "you probably * would * regret asking if I continued that sentence." Buffy laughed.

"Probably." Buffy looked down at her watch.

"Shit! My watch broke. Do you have the time?" Spike tilted his head and muttered a few calculations.

"Should be around 11:20, give or take a few minutes." Buffy widened her eyes, impressed.

"You can really do that?" Spike smiled and shook his head.

"Nah. Fooled ya though, didn't I?" Buffy rolled her eyes. Then, she leaned over and gave Spike a quick kiss.

"I'll see ya." Spike jumped up and stopped her.

"That hardly counts as a good-bye kiss, luv."

"I'm probably late." Spike buried his head into her shoulder.

"Tell your mum your watch broke." He kissed her.

"I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Spike nodded reluctantly and drew her in for a deeper kiss. Buffy pushed away and looked up at him.

"Bye." She kissed him one last time before leaving the Bronze. As soon as Buffy was out of sight, Spike exhaled and pulled out a fag, shaking. He could feel the guilt pulsate throughout his entire body.

All of the lies were going to be really bad for his health.

And, being a vampire, that's saying a lot.

~

"Yeah and so I was thinking, maybe what he really meant by 'Could you pass the Cheez-Its?' was really 'Could you commit yourself to me?'" The next night, Buffy held the phone between her chin and collar bone, listening intently to Willow's patented 'Xander-babble.'

"How did you get that one?" Buffy asked, laughing lightly.

"Wishful thinking, I guess." Willow audibly sighed, "Buffy there's something wrong with me."

"Cuz you like Xander? Please. You guys hang out all the time, it's bound to happen."

"You hang out with Xander, too! And you don't like him." Willow argued.

"True. But that's because I'm with Spike." Buffy reasoned. She pulled out her leather jacket and slipped it on, hugging the fabric to her, "I'll talk to ya later. I've gotta do a quick sweep through the cemetery."

"Yeah, yeah...go save the world or whatever."

Buffy said goodbye one last time before hanging up the phone and racing down the stairs.

~

She firmly planted the stake into the vamp's chest, with a victory cry.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Buffy and you're history!"

He exploded into a thousand, tiny, dusty bits. Buffy looked around, proud of herself and sat down on a nearby gravestone. Seeing her, Spike walked over and put his arms around her back, pulling her in.

"Hey." She looked up and kissed his jaw line. He smiled down at her and she spun around clasping his neck. She kissed him and then pulled away, standing up, keeping his hand in hers.

"A lotta action tonight?" Spike asked.

"Dusted three of them. You?" Spike shrugged and shook his head.

"One. It was pathetic, too. He practically * ran into *my stake." Buffy laughed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Newbies all seem to have a death wish." Buffy froze suddenly, at that.

"And Slayers do too..."She whispered.

"Havin' a nice conversation with yourself there, luv?" Spike asked, jokingly, not hearing what she said.

"Did you ever tell me that I, and all slayers, have a death wish?" She asked, violently facing him.

A cold hand gripped Spike's insides.

"No." He lied. Buffy sighed and closed her eyes.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I could've sworn you-" Spike cut her off sharply.

"Well, I didn't, alright? Now, how was Snyder today?" He asked, hoping she'd drop the subject.

"Snyder was fine. But, do you have any idea why I'd be having these weird flash-back like feelings?" Spike hissed in a breath.

"No clue, pet." He answered, shortly.

"What the hell is your problem? You are, like, refusing to talk about this."

"Bloody hell..." He ran his hand over his hair, wishing desperately for a cigarette.

"Don't 'bloody hell' me, buster. Why won't you talk about this? I'm concerned about it and you keep just cutting me off!"

"Cuz there's nothing to talk about, Buffy!" Spike cried out, desperately, "I don't know what you want from me! I don't know why the hell you're having these feelings, so why do you keep asking me about them?!" Buffy tightened her hands into fists and glared wildly at him.

"I just want you to talk about it with me, not give me the freakin' answers. Giles doesn't even have any clue to why I keep getting them! It would just be nice if my *boyfriend* would help me through it!"

"I've been trying to help you through it! If I kept you talking about them, you'd just get even more confused about it and it would make the entire situation worse! I'm here to distract you, pet." Spike offered, scratching his head and really, * really * wishing for a cigarette.

"But you are ignoring my trying to show you that I don't want to be distracted from it! I want to talk about it! I want to try to make some sense of what they're trying to tell me. And they are trying to tell me something." Spike shook his head.

"You don't know that."

"Right." Buffy said, simmering with anger, "I'm just crazy."

"Buffy..."

"No, no. You're right. I'm insane. Hell, maybe I'm * imagining * all of this! Maybe you're not even real. Or, or...most likely... I'm just a fucked up little drama queen!!!" Buffy screamed, until Spike grabbed her shoulders.

"Buffy, stop it! That's not what I meant and you know it." Buffy sniffled and looked up into his eyes, traces of anger still sparking within her.

"Then what did you mean?" Spike sighed and hugged her.

"I just meant that you don't know enough about these feelings to have anything to go on." Buffy pulled away gently and nodded.

"Yeah...I know. I know! God, it's just so confusing."

Spike drew her in again and kissed her top of her head, whispering lightly into her hair. Buffy lifted her head and Spike kissed her gently, only to be met with a strong, forceful kiss from Buffy, who grabbed the back of Spike's head and pulled him roughly to her. He quickly responded, clutching her back, darting his tongue into her mouth. Buffy broke away and panted, resting her head against Spike's shoulder.

"Ahem." Buffy turned around to face the intruding voice, which came from none other than Angel.

"Hi Angel." Buffy said, wiping away a barely fallen tear. Angel glared in response.

"Over him, huh?" He asked, uncharacteristically harsh.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy said, genuinely confused. Spike laughed humorlessly and shook his head.

"I think you and the poofter here had a bit of a communication gap, pet."

"Apparently." Angel said, his eyes never leaving where Spike's hand rested against the small of Buffy's back.

"Oh...oh, God. You were asking me if I still had feelings for * Spike.* " Buffy said, mentally slapping herself. I'm a complete bonehead!

"I thought that was obvious."

Buffy pulled away from Spike, who felt a rush of possession, but didn't move.

"Angel, I'm so sorry. The truth is I'm with Spike now. In a relationship." Angel mimicked Spike's laugh.

"I do have eyes, Buffy." Buffy darted her gaze downward. Maybe the graveyard isn't the best place for an impromptu make-out session...

"I'm sorry you had to find out like that. I would have told you earlier- in fact, I thought I did. But I'm still sorry."

"Spike." Angel said, ignoring Buffy, sending poison darts with his eyes in the direction of the younger vampire. "Come." Angel began to walk away, expecting Spike to follow.

"I'm not a bloody shiatsu, mate." Spike said, annoyed.

Angel growled and rounded on him in game face.

"I AM NOT YOUR MATE!" Buffy stepped in between the two of them and Angel's face reverted back to human. He looked down, ashamed.

"I don't...I don't know what's wrong with me." Buffy laid a hand on his back, but Angel pulled away sharply, before looking back up at Spike.

"I'll be leaving now. Spike, you'll be hearing from me."

"Ooh, I'm scared!" Spike replied sarcastically, waving his hands in the air. Angel paused to look back and forth between them, before turning on the ball of his foot and sulking off into the night.

Buffy turned around to face Spike and put her hands on her hips.

" 'Ooh, I'm scared?' " She asked incredulously. Spike looked down, embarrassed.

"Just came out."

~

"Hey this is Dawn, the student formerly known as Ambrine! I'm not in right now, but just leave one and I'll call ya back ASAP!" Dawn ran into her room, about to pick up the phone, when she heard the voice on the machine.

"Briney? Hey! It's Harmony! Remember, you're best friend? Anyway, I was just calling cuz I know that we haven't hung out in awhile and I was just wondering, ya know, what is up with that?!? I mean, you were my BEST FRIEND. Other than Cordelia, of course. Cuz no one could beat Cordy, cuz she's all cool and stuff. But I did like you a lot! But anyway, we used to be tight, girl! Like spandex. Ooh, speaking of spandex, me and Jennifer were thinking of making these unicorn costumes for Halloween next year...or *this * year I guess." Harmony laughed maniacally, grating Dawn's nerves, "So, yeah, but she totally backed out on me! I mean, seriously, that's not cool, right? But I was wondering if you would help me with it, cuz we gotta plan ahead-"

Dawn made a disgusted face and picked up the phone and slammed it down again, realizing that the machine was not going to cut Harmony off, who would then be free to ramble on and on and on and on...

"Tigress?" Dawn spun around and saw her "mom", who looked somewhat concerned.

"Yeah?"

"You have a visitor...or at least, I think it's for you. He called you Dawn for some reason. And he has a British accent. And dyed hair." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"I told you, I go by Dawn now." Gladys pursed her lips.

"That's not the name I gave you."

"It's not really your choice." Gladys' eyes flashed.

"It is * so * my choice! I am your mother, Ambrine!" Dawn felt tears well up in her eyes.

"No. No, you're not." With that, Dawn ran out of the room, not looking back at the woman who called herself her mother.

~

"Fuck!" Dawn yelled as she stormed out of the house.

"Nibblet!" Spike backed away, but still gave Dawn an "authority" look, "Where in the hell did you learn that word?'"

"Gee, Spike. Maybe from the 16 years of living with Buffy, the Cursinator?" Spike scrunched his eyebrows.

"The Cursinator?" Dawn sighed and motioned with her hands as she spoke.

"Yeah, it was a weird nickname I gave her when I was eight cuz she used the f-word a lot when she was fourteen. Still does, I think, but not as much." Spike nodded and turned toward her.

"So, what provoked the whole Cursinator, Jr. thing I just witness 'ere?"

"My quote-Mother-unquote. She really has a lotta gall. Calling me her daughter and telling me I can't change my name, like she really plays any part in that."

"Yeah, but..." Dawn quirked her eyebrows.

"But what?"

"The thing is, Shorty, as far as that woman is concerned, you * are * her daughter. She loves you just as much as Joyce did."

"She couldn't. She's not * really * my mother." Spike bit back a 'Neither was Joyce' and just gave a strained smile.

"So, other than the family troubles, all's well in the world of Dawn?" Dawn shrugged.

"Yeah, I mean, Buffy and I are getting really close, even though I think she might suspect something, I'm actually doing really well in school, and well, Jesse... Jesse's great." Spike rolled his eyes.

"Little bugger. You remember what I told you before, alright?" Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Thank you, but if we break up, I really don't need you to "beat him to a bloody pulp," as you so eloquently put it."

"Not if you just break up. But ya know, if he cheats on ya, uses ya, hurts you in any way...then I'd beat him to a bloody pulp." Spike explained.

"So, speaking of relationships...how goes yours?" Spike exhaled and made the so-so sign with his hands.

"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?"

"It was never paradise, pet." Spike said, hoisting himself up onto the railing.

"You guys having problems?" Dawn asked.

"She doesn't think we are. I mean, we get along great. Cept for a little tiff on our last patrol and the Brooding Wonder wanting me dead, but other than that it's great. But..."

"But what?"

"I still feel awful about lying to her." Spike admitted, his shoelaces becoming stunningly interesting.

"Spike. You have to."

"I know that! Doesn't make it easy though." Dawn walked over to the vampire and tilted his chin up.

"Spike. Buffy loves you. You love her. So you're from the future and you know some things ahead of time. If you tell her that, you'll lose everything. It's not like you told her you're not from the future. You just haven't told her anything at all. You aren't lying to her, just omitting the truth."

"That can be worse, sometimes."

"Sometimes. But it's necessary now. Ya gotta suck it up, Blondie. All our lives might depend on it." Dawn stated, her voice low and her stance strong.

"You watch too many Sylvester Stallone movies." Spike said, hopping down from the railing and stood by her.

"But I'm right." Dawn argued. Spike nodded.

"Yeah, Nibblet. You're absolutely right."

~

Willow extended her thumbs and index fingers into a miniature, human field- goal.

"There's no way you'll make it from there." Jesse commented from a top of the main desk to Xander, who was positioning his Chinese football from the other end of the study table.

"Thanks for the support, ye of little faith." Xander said, flicking the paper smoothly between the "posts."

"Xander's a Chinese Football god." Willow proclaimed.

"My mistake." Jesse said, sending a sidelong look to Dawn and Buffy, who sat beside him.

"That is an enormous waste of time." Dawn commented to Xander.

"Yes, but a * fun * waste of time, which makes all the difference in the world. Speaking of wasting time, Buffster, how goes your relationship with Peroxide Boy?" Buffy glared at Xander.

"It's fine." Xander forced a smile.

"I'm just kiddin' ya, Summers."

"You better be." She replied, also forcing a smile, before hopping down and patting him on the back, "And also, I think you should be nicer to my boyfriend."

"I'll be nice to him when he's nice to me. I'm like a hornet." Buffy gave him an incredulous look, "Okay, maybe a bumble-bee."

"What? No, I meant that you should be the bigger man."

"Wouldn't you expect that from the guy you're macking on?" Xander asked, the bitterness in his voice * just * concealed.

"When it comes to being nice to you, I have no expectations of Spike. There'd be too many headaches."

Jenny and Giles suddenly walked into the room, discussing a demon in full- length.

"Yeah, it's pretty weird." Jenny said, "When it explodes, it kills anything with in a 12 foot radius of itself. But it also makes * another * one. Kinda like a clone. Oh, and the first Borga, the one that exploded, always survives."

"How long have they been, er, nesting here?" Giles asked, who rushed to the study table and grabbed a general book of demons.

"What's the dealio?" Buffy asked, coming between the two adults.

"Borga demons." Jenny said, before turning back to Giles, "I already downloaded some info off the 'net."

"Wonderful. How might we fight this creature?"

"If you, or Buffy, I guess, can kill the original demon, it'll be gone. All of 'em."

"No problem. Just point me to it." Jenny looked at Giles warily.

"* That's * the problem. He might have moved on." Buffy's eyes widened.

"Where to?"

"Another town, hoping to wreak some havoc. But maybe not, this being the Hellmouth and all. He might've stayed for an extra long vaca."

"Well, let's all hope so." Buffy said, sitting down next to Willow.

"Hey, do you wanna go Bronzing tonight?" Buffy asked, breaking abruptly out of Slayer mode, "I have to do a patrol, but we could meet up after." Willow nodded enthusiastically.

"Cool! Xand, you wanna come?" Buffy asked.

"Will Spike be there?" Xander asked shortly.

"Doubtful. He's not really a "people person." Not big into Bronzing with me and my friends." Buffy explained, "Yet." She added as a footnote.

"Count me in then." Buffy ignored Xander's dig and looked to Dawn and Jesse.

"You guys gonna come?" Dawn nodded and looked at Jesse.

"Unless you have plans, Jess."

"My plans were to hang out with you, so...Bronze it is."

Buffy smiled and leaned back...basking in the glow of her friendships.

| "To good friends and old times." |

Buffy blinked back to reality, an uneasy, somewhat familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Wiggy.

~

"Dum de dum dum...vampires! C'mere vampires. I gotta nice little treat for you..." Buffy called out, moving swiftly through one of her regular cemeteries. She heard a rustle in a bush. She spun around and ran into Angel, nearly staking him. Jumping and gasping, she threw the stake down.

"Didn't your mother teach you not to sneak up on people in the graveyard? You have to wear a bell or yodel or what not."

"I'm sorry." Angel replied softly.

"Well, well. You're back to being the passive guy, as opposed to the passive *aggressive * guy the other night."

"I'm sorry about that, as well. I was just taken aback." Buffy nodded, closing her eyes and sighing.

"I understand. If I were you, I'd be upset, too."

"Is * he * coming tonight?" Angel asked, trying desperately to hide the fury in his voice. Buffy smiled gently.

"No. I gave him the night off."

"From you?"

"No..." Buffy said, choosing her words carefully, "From patrolling. I really hope that being with me isn't like a chore."

"I wouldn't know." Angel said tersely.

"So, you are still mad." Buffy replied, picking up her pace so she was walking with Angel.

"Do I have a right to be mad?"

"Not really." Buffy said, honestly.

"Too bad. Cuz I am. I thought we had something." Angel stated, turning around.

"I did, too. For awhile. But then you did your little disappearing act and Spike stayed around."

"So the reason you fell for him is because I wasn't around?" Angel asked, hope entering his heart once again.

"That's part of the reason." Buffy admitted.

"And the other part?"

"I don't think you'd want to hear that." Buffy said slowly, choosing her words delicately.

"Right." They stood in silence for a few moments before Angel faced her again.

"Do you love him?" Buffy widened her eyes and stepped back.

"What?"

"Spike. Do you love him?" Buffy opened her mouth and then closed it again.

"I don't know. I never thought about it."

"So it's not yes then." Angel said, smiling despite himself.

"It's not a no, either. We just started dating. It's too soon to know if I love him." Buffy reasoned. But Angel wasn't listening. In a frenzy, he took Buffy's arms and leaned in as though to kiss her.

Buffy backed away sharply and just looked at Angel, who closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, before walking in the other direction.

~

Spike carried a bag of groceries through one of the cemeteries, in hopes of running into Buffy.

Unfortunately, he ran smack into his grandsire.

"Well, well, if it isn't Nancy-boy." He said with an eye roll.

"Don't toy with me, Spike." Angel said, rounding in on him.

"Didn't know I was toying, ma-" Spike stopped himself, "Angel." He finished lamely.

"Stay away from my Buffy."

"I don't mean to sound predictable and adolescent , but male chauvinist much? Buffy doesn't belong to anybody." Spike began to walk away, but Angel cut him off.

"I love Buffy..."

"You barely know Buffy." Spike countered.

"Oh and what? Like you know everything there is to know about her?" Spike smiled.

"No one knows everything there is to know about Buffy. It's one of the reasons I fell for her."

"Stay away from her!" Angel yelled.

"No! Sorry, but you lost your shot with her. She's with me now and you better bloody well deal with it."

Angel's face shifted into game and he lunged at Spike with a thousand pent up, angry emotions, but was instantly cut off by a furious, running, black demon, on top of which was Buffy.

"It's the original Borga!" She screamed down to Spike and Angel, who looked at one another confusedly.

"The what?" They asked in unison.

"Just help me kill it!" Buffy yelled, exasperatedly. Spike hopped up and kicked the Borga in the stomach, making it reel back and propel Buffy through the air.

"Buffy!" Angel yelled, running to her side. Buffy hopped onto her feet and ran back over to help Spike.

It lashed a giant claw at Spike, who tried to dodge it, but instead was slammed on the side of the head, knocking him to his back. Angel ran to where Spike was and distracted it.

"Buffy, here." Spike sputtered out, "My second grocery bag...it has an axe." He then promptly passed out. Buffy rushed over to the bag and pulled out the weapon.

Meanwhile, Angel was punching the Borga in the face and stomach, hoping to weaken it.

"Angel, hold it down!" Angel reached over and slammed himself atop of it, holding it down to the ground. Buffy moved over and swiftly crashed the knife down onto it's neck, turning the demon into a puddle of goo. She helped Angel up, who looked into her eyes and was about to say something when she abruptly pulled away.

"Spike!" She rushed to his side as he began to awake.

"Did we win?" He asked, a la Willow.

"Yeah...it's dead. I killed it." Buffy cradled Spike's head gently in her lap, "How's your head?"

"Hurts, but I should be alright by tomorrow at least." He smiled and forced himself to sit up, after which Buffy tenderly kissed his forehead. He leaned up and captured her lips in a soft kiss before pulling away, squinting in pain. Buffy lifted Spike up slowly from underneath his shoulders and allowed him to use her as support until he stabled himself.

"Damn, how hard did he hit me?" Spike asked, holding his head with his palm.

"Obviously pretty hard. You'll be fine."

"Thanks for the update." Spike muttered, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Buffy turned around to thank Angel, but was surprised to see that he was gone. She frowned lightly and turned back to Spike.

"I told Will and them that I'd meet them at the Bronze, will you be alright getting home?" Spike rolled his eyes.

"It's just a little bump on the head, Slayer. I don't need a chaperone." Buffy's frown lines increased.

"Could you not call me that?" Spike blinked and nodded.

"Sure, luv."

~

Dawn walked through the school hallways when she noticed a figure slip into the basement. Shaking her head, she opened it just as Spike was about to reach for her. She smiled at him and entered in, standing next to him.

"What's up?"

"Angel. Why does he have to leave?" He asked, hoping that his head injury made him forget it and that he told Dawn.

"We don't know, remember?"

"Yeah...it's just getting more confusin' though. Angel helped up kill the Borga."

"Buffy mentioned that last night. How's your head?" Spike brushed it aside with an embarrassed hand wave.

"Fine. But Angel helped us. Really well, too. So why would he have to leave? It just doesn't make any bloody sense..." Dawn patted his arm.

"I gotta get to class, I'll just leave you here to mull for awhile." Spike nodded her a goodbye, leaning up against the railing, practically scratching his head.

Maybe that Whistler guy's just on something...

~

"And even after I, I! Me! Myself! Liam-freakin-quote-Angel-quote-the- vampire! After I saved their lives, who does she run to?" Angel's alcohol induced slurred voice screamed into Whistler/Willy's voice shrilly, "She runs to SPIKE! WILLIAM THE BLOODY! That good for nothing little son-of-a- bitch. I always hated him, ya know?"

Whistler nodded and just continued to wipe down the bar.

"God, I would love to kill him. Right in front of that girl...just make him suffer so much...make him scream...that's what I'd do. I'd make her watch...show her just how inadequate he is. Fuckin' secondary vampire. I'd even kill her...she'll never love me...not like she loves * him. * DAMMIT!" Angel slammed his fist onto the bar and hoisted himself up so he was inches away from Whistler's face.

"You wanna help? You could rake a few knives through their skin...slowly...then I'll drain Spike. Make him live a pathetic, scarred former version of himself. Goddamn shell. And I'd make Buffy love me...and if not, I'd rip her throat out and drink, drink the sweet goddamn ambrosia of the Slayer's blood."

Angel sat back down, everything growing more and more blurry at every second.

"It...would be...grand." Angel slumped over, conked out.

Whistler sighed and hoisted the vampire over his shoulder. Thank the Power's for demon strength.

He then carried Angel back to his apartment.

~

Angel shot up in bed.

He doubled over...remembering...the things he had said...the things he said...

He didn't want them dead.

He didn't want anybody dead.

Angelus had no control over him.

Yes, he was heartbroken. And yes, he hated Spike, but Spike was good now. And he didn't want either of them dead, or tortured, or maimed, or maligned...

Angel felt a smile creep onto his face, which he quickly wiped away with a scream of agony. A sudden flash of every person he had ever killed passed before his eyes and plunged into his heart.

"Get it together." He whispered to himself, "You're a good person. A good person. A good person." He muttered to himself the slow mantra, trying to make himself believe it.

But when you have thoughts like the one's he had...it's nearly impossible to believe.

It was as though Angelus had revisited.

Angel felt his stomach lurch as he thought of his alter-ego.

He couldn't put Buffy through the pain of meeting Angelus.

He thought of Spike's warning. Spike said he had to go to Los Angeles by June 6th.

Angel shook his head...He wasn't about to let Buffy meet Angelus.

But he wasn't about to leave either.

~

Buffy knocked lightly on Spike's apartment door. It creaked open and Spike smiled down at her. He opened his mouth to greet her, but was met instead with a warm kiss.

"Hi." She whispered, giving him a tender hug.

"Everything alright, pet?" Buffy nodded and ran her fingers through Spike's hair.

"I'm great. Just thought I'd drop by. Why, is this a bad time?" Spike smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Never." He cleared his throat and allowed her in. Buffy circled the apartment and sat down on the couch, staring up at Spike all the while. Spike sat beside her, concern still playing on his features.

"God, stop looking at me like I'm ready to have a nervous breakdown or something. I just missed you." Buffy said gently.

Spike nodded and kissed her.

"So, how are you?" She asked as Spike broke their embrace.

"Alright. Anything you need to talk about concerning those flashy things?" Buffy smiled affectionately.

"No. But thank you for asking."

"Anytime, luv." Spike was suddenly aware of his voice being hoarse as he stared at her. Buffy locked eyes with him and unwittingly licked her lips. She filled the tiny gap between them and laid a loving kiss on his lips, moving around them slowly. Spike intensified the kiss, leaning into her, raking his hands through her hair, surrounded by feelings he hadn't felt since he was last with her...in an intimate sense.

Buffy responded and tugged at his shirt, bringing him closer to her, so that their entire bodies were touching. Spike broke away, allowing Buffy to breathe. Buffy opened her eyes and met his powerful gaze, before nodding. Spike cupped her face and fiercely kissed her, remembering everything he had ever felt when near her...from the blood lust to lust to obsession to love, all rolled together in an intricate dance of tongues and the entwining of hands.

Buffy laid down, pulling Spike atop of her...curling her leg over his. He rolled his hips across hers, making Buffy moan into his mouth. Spike broke the kiss for a moment before plunging down again.

Spike's hand reached up Buffy's shirt...

Buffy broke away, panting, and pulled Spike's shirt off before he swooped down to place his lips on hers again.

Buffy felt her bra unclasp.

Spike moved his lips down to her collarbone...he delicately placed a trail along the edge, licking the tiny scoop between them.

Buffy reached down to Spike's pants and fumbled slightly...

In that next instant, however, Spike was on his feet, looking panicked. Buffy sat up, hurt, and stared at him as he paced around the room.

"What's wrong?" She asked, taken aback by the entire incident.

What's wrong?!?! Every bloody thing about this entire relationship.that's what's wrong...

"Nothing, pet." He lied, swallowing his guilt, "I just don't think this is the time for...that." Buffy sat up and reordered her disheveled clothes, still staring up at him with question.

"Don't you want me?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I want you. I always want you." Buffy felt the world stop.

| Tell me you love me. I love you...you know that. Tell me you want me. I always want you. |

Buffy blinked back to reality and decided against mentioning that one to Spike.

"Then why...?" Spike knew he couldn't tell her the truth.

That he couldn't make love to her under false pretences.

That he wanted her to know everything about him, about his past, her past, their future, and be okay with it, before he could peacefully and fully give her the love she deserved.

Of course, he wasn't about to say * that. *

"It's just not romantic enough, luv. 'Sides, we've only been datin' for 3 months. I figured you'd want more time than that. We haven't even discussed it." He said sinuously, surprised at how persuasive he sounded.

Buffy laughed calmly to herself before looking back up at Spike.

"Well, we know who the level-headed one in this relationship is. You are completely right. I mean, I'm actually glad you stopped us now." Buffy sensed Spike tense. Realizing she may have bruised his ego, she slid her arms around his neck and soothingly kissed him.

"It doesn't mean I want you any less, though." Spike smiled.

"Ditto."

And for the first time, Buffy ignored the flashback-feelings.

~

Night had fallen over Sunnydale. It was nearing two in the morning as a car rolled onto the main highway, heading toward the town. The car was making the only sound throughout the night. A low, thunderous rumble from the engine, barely noticeable.

SCCCCCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!

The car slammed into the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign.

The car door slammed open.

A pair of combat boots slipped out, sauntering cockily around.

A flash of leather glinted in the moonlight.

The figure laughed as he lit a cigarette.

"Home, sweet home. "

~

tbc...

A/N: Yes, I know it's a bit early, but the time line will be explained in the next chapter, so don't fret kiddies.