A/N: Hey guys -- I don't want to lose anyone as a reader, but please, *
please * don't place demands on me for how I should write the story. I am
very open to suggestions and constructive criticism (what writer isn't?),
but it is hard for me to swallow when you say that I have to do something
your way or you'll stop reading because A) it really won't influence the
way I write and B) it's just rude. In the end, everyone loses. You won't
get what you want and I end up feeling crappy for a good half-hour. So, for
everyone's sake, please don't do that! It'll save us all a lot of grief. On
a lighter note, my updates might be coming more quickly...my rehearsals for
the play I'm in are taking a break from working with leads and my school
work has really been cut, leaving Evil Rabbit with tons and tons of writing
time! And now on with the story... (Warning: this one's relatively short
and angsty)
~
"SPIKE!!" Buffy burst out of her house, chasing after the bleached retreating figure. "Spike, wait!"
Spike turned around.
"Thought that might get your attention." He said with a sad smile, with only a hint of his usual wit and fire. Buffy glared in return.
"What the *hell* do you mean Dawn's my sister? She can't be my sister!"
"Well, technically she's not, see, she was the Key and these monks added her into your life by creating false memories. You had to protect her, especially after your mum died. Then you died for her, Dawn, I mean. Willow brought you back though." Buffy just blinked.
Spike sighed.
"Alright, um...let me try that again. Dawn is your sister. She's from your future, too. I was sent on a, well, at the risk of sounding corny, a mission. However, when I was sent on said mission-"
"By the Choosers. Who you told me meant nothing to you." Buffy interjected sourly.
"Er, yeah. Right. Anyway, they told me that Dawn would cease to exist. Course, I had come to love the li'l nibblet, so I couldn't bear that thought. So, I threatened them and did some negotiating and presto! Ambrine "Dawn" Jones." Buffy stared at him for a moment and then looked to the ground.
"That was nice of you. To save my sister. * If * this is all true, that is." Spike shot her a hurt glance, "Oh, don't give me that 'kicked-puppy' look! You were lying to me."
"I had to. For your safety." Buffy rolled her eyes. Spike glowered.
"Are you telling me that you would have believed me for one second if I told you everything I did in there right from the get-go?" He hissed incredulously. Buffy cocked an eyebrow.
"We'll never know now."
"I had to gain your trust before I could tell you anything!" Spike argued.
"I don't really give a damn, Spike! Right now all I'm concerned with is finding Giles and Dawn and figuring out what the hell is going on."
"I already explained that to you!" Spike yelled.
"And you've proved yourself sooo trustworthy."
"BLOODY HELL!" Spike screamed, stomping his foot onto the ground, anger getting the best of him, "This wasn't supposed to work this way!" Buffy snapped around and walked straight over to him, staring coldly into his blue eyes.
"How was it supposed to work, huh? That you'd tell me everything, I'd digest it, and then fling my arms around you, proclaiming that you're some sort of a goddamn saint? You. Lied. To. Me."
"Think we covered that one, luv." Spike bit back. Buffy bit the inside of her lip, trying to stop herself from boiling over.
"You *lied* to me. And now you're acting like I should be okay with it."
"You have to be okay with it!"
"Fuck you! I don't have to be okay with anything! You lied to me."
"God, are you a bleedin' parrot or something? I know that I lied to you, you know that I lied to you, could you please try to use a new bloody line of attack on me?!?" Spike roared, rounding her up against the house, keeping a tight hold on her wrists.
"You want a new line of attack, Spike? Fine. You'll get one. You are a murderer."
"Believe me, pet. That is hardly new." He drawled. Buffy clenched her jaw.
"I hate you." She seethed. Spike's eyes flashed.
"Gotta say, pet. You're really bordering on my patience level right now. 'I hate you!' 'You're a murderer!' Maybe so. But you are a self-righteous, stubborn, bit-"
Buffy cut Spike off, grabbing his neck and roughly capturing his lips in hers. Spike groaned into the kiss and backed her up against the wall. They broke apart for a split-second, allowing Buffy to breathe, but she grabbed him again, this time wrapping her right leg around his torso. Spike's eyes practically rolled back into their sockets when she rubbed against a now stimulated region. Buffy and Spike's lips, teeth, and tongues battled endlessly for dominance.
"Spike..."Buffy moaned as he moved his mouth down to her neck. She gasped when she felt his hardness underneath her. He moved in for another searing kiss.
"Want you..." He said breathily. Buffy nodded through his next kiss and wrapped both legs around him. Spike pushed her against the wall, his hand moving up underneath her shirt.
"Love you..." He whispered, moving his lips down to her collarbone. In a flash of a second, however, he was on the ground, an incredibly pissed off Buffy standing above him, looking absolutely disgusted with herself.
"Get away from me." She hissed, wiping her mouth with her hand, just as she did after their first night together ever. Funny. Looks like she's not the only one who's getting déjà vu. Spike kicked up his legs, lifting himself to a standing position. He glared at Buffy and then turned around and walked away. Buffy blinked back a fresh set of tears and went inside her house to get her coat, shaking like a leaf all the while. Suddenly, a flash came to her.
| You're bent. Yeah. Made you scream though, didn't it? |
Buffy gargled salt water and spit it out into the bathroom sink. She wasn't even sure how she had made it up there. She felt her throat dehydrate as lightening shots of flashes came into her mind...
| What's Saturday? I kill you... |
| You belong in the darkness... |
| He called you 'Slutty the Vampire Slayer'...|
Buffy clutched the sink.
| I'll let Drusilla kill you... |
| I hate you... |
| No! Stop! Please! No... |
She looked over at the bathtub. Oh, God...
| You really gonna put your kid sis in danger just to spite me?... |
| I hate you... |
| Your neck will be my chalice... |
She felt something move up her stomach.
| I hate you... |
| How could you do that? You hate me that much? |
| Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you. |
| I hate you... |
She hugged her arms around her torso.
| I know you wanna dance, Slayer. |
| It doesn't tip the scale! |
| Say it's true...It would never be you, Spike. |
She fell to her knees
| You're beneath me. |
| You're all I bloody think about...dream about... |
| I hate you. |
She flung the toilet seat up.
| No!! NO!! Please, God, no, stop! |
She vomited. Again. She leaned back against the cold porcelain of the toilet, wiping her mouth. Her head was spinning, her emotions a rush. Madness and mourning ringed her eyes. Spike. Spike. Spike. Spike. Spike. He was everywhere. Spike. Spike. Spike.
"Lying son-of-a-bitch..." Buffy whispered half-heartedly. She could see it now. Both of them were to blame for the fucked-up nature of their relationship. Granted, she couldn't remember most of it...but it was in no way one sided.
| Ask me again why I could never love you. |
With that, Buffy fell to the ground, screeching and sobbing in agony.
~
tbc...
Add. A/N: Ugh. I hated writing that. But it's necessary. And before you reach for your rotten tomatoes and various other trash-like items, that's about the peak of the angst for our beloved couple. Everything is gonna get a helluva lot lighter from this point on.
~
"SPIKE!!" Buffy burst out of her house, chasing after the bleached retreating figure. "Spike, wait!"
Spike turned around.
"Thought that might get your attention." He said with a sad smile, with only a hint of his usual wit and fire. Buffy glared in return.
"What the *hell* do you mean Dawn's my sister? She can't be my sister!"
"Well, technically she's not, see, she was the Key and these monks added her into your life by creating false memories. You had to protect her, especially after your mum died. Then you died for her, Dawn, I mean. Willow brought you back though." Buffy just blinked.
Spike sighed.
"Alright, um...let me try that again. Dawn is your sister. She's from your future, too. I was sent on a, well, at the risk of sounding corny, a mission. However, when I was sent on said mission-"
"By the Choosers. Who you told me meant nothing to you." Buffy interjected sourly.
"Er, yeah. Right. Anyway, they told me that Dawn would cease to exist. Course, I had come to love the li'l nibblet, so I couldn't bear that thought. So, I threatened them and did some negotiating and presto! Ambrine "Dawn" Jones." Buffy stared at him for a moment and then looked to the ground.
"That was nice of you. To save my sister. * If * this is all true, that is." Spike shot her a hurt glance, "Oh, don't give me that 'kicked-puppy' look! You were lying to me."
"I had to. For your safety." Buffy rolled her eyes. Spike glowered.
"Are you telling me that you would have believed me for one second if I told you everything I did in there right from the get-go?" He hissed incredulously. Buffy cocked an eyebrow.
"We'll never know now."
"I had to gain your trust before I could tell you anything!" Spike argued.
"I don't really give a damn, Spike! Right now all I'm concerned with is finding Giles and Dawn and figuring out what the hell is going on."
"I already explained that to you!" Spike yelled.
"And you've proved yourself sooo trustworthy."
"BLOODY HELL!" Spike screamed, stomping his foot onto the ground, anger getting the best of him, "This wasn't supposed to work this way!" Buffy snapped around and walked straight over to him, staring coldly into his blue eyes.
"How was it supposed to work, huh? That you'd tell me everything, I'd digest it, and then fling my arms around you, proclaiming that you're some sort of a goddamn saint? You. Lied. To. Me."
"Think we covered that one, luv." Spike bit back. Buffy bit the inside of her lip, trying to stop herself from boiling over.
"You *lied* to me. And now you're acting like I should be okay with it."
"You have to be okay with it!"
"Fuck you! I don't have to be okay with anything! You lied to me."
"God, are you a bleedin' parrot or something? I know that I lied to you, you know that I lied to you, could you please try to use a new bloody line of attack on me?!?" Spike roared, rounding her up against the house, keeping a tight hold on her wrists.
"You want a new line of attack, Spike? Fine. You'll get one. You are a murderer."
"Believe me, pet. That is hardly new." He drawled. Buffy clenched her jaw.
"I hate you." She seethed. Spike's eyes flashed.
"Gotta say, pet. You're really bordering on my patience level right now. 'I hate you!' 'You're a murderer!' Maybe so. But you are a self-righteous, stubborn, bit-"
Buffy cut Spike off, grabbing his neck and roughly capturing his lips in hers. Spike groaned into the kiss and backed her up against the wall. They broke apart for a split-second, allowing Buffy to breathe, but she grabbed him again, this time wrapping her right leg around his torso. Spike's eyes practically rolled back into their sockets when she rubbed against a now stimulated region. Buffy and Spike's lips, teeth, and tongues battled endlessly for dominance.
"Spike..."Buffy moaned as he moved his mouth down to her neck. She gasped when she felt his hardness underneath her. He moved in for another searing kiss.
"Want you..." He said breathily. Buffy nodded through his next kiss and wrapped both legs around him. Spike pushed her against the wall, his hand moving up underneath her shirt.
"Love you..." He whispered, moving his lips down to her collarbone. In a flash of a second, however, he was on the ground, an incredibly pissed off Buffy standing above him, looking absolutely disgusted with herself.
"Get away from me." She hissed, wiping her mouth with her hand, just as she did after their first night together ever. Funny. Looks like she's not the only one who's getting déjà vu. Spike kicked up his legs, lifting himself to a standing position. He glared at Buffy and then turned around and walked away. Buffy blinked back a fresh set of tears and went inside her house to get her coat, shaking like a leaf all the while. Suddenly, a flash came to her.
| You're bent. Yeah. Made you scream though, didn't it? |
Buffy gargled salt water and spit it out into the bathroom sink. She wasn't even sure how she had made it up there. She felt her throat dehydrate as lightening shots of flashes came into her mind...
| What's Saturday? I kill you... |
| You belong in the darkness... |
| He called you 'Slutty the Vampire Slayer'...|
Buffy clutched the sink.
| I'll let Drusilla kill you... |
| I hate you... |
| No! Stop! Please! No... |
She looked over at the bathtub. Oh, God...
| You really gonna put your kid sis in danger just to spite me?... |
| I hate you... |
| Your neck will be my chalice... |
She felt something move up her stomach.
| I hate you... |
| How could you do that? You hate me that much? |
| Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you. |
| I hate you... |
She hugged her arms around her torso.
| I know you wanna dance, Slayer. |
| It doesn't tip the scale! |
| Say it's true...It would never be you, Spike. |
She fell to her knees
| You're beneath me. |
| You're all I bloody think about...dream about... |
| I hate you. |
She flung the toilet seat up.
| No!! NO!! Please, God, no, stop! |
She vomited. Again. She leaned back against the cold porcelain of the toilet, wiping her mouth. Her head was spinning, her emotions a rush. Madness and mourning ringed her eyes. Spike. Spike. Spike. Spike. Spike. He was everywhere. Spike. Spike. Spike.
"Lying son-of-a-bitch..." Buffy whispered half-heartedly. She could see it now. Both of them were to blame for the fucked-up nature of their relationship. Granted, she couldn't remember most of it...but it was in no way one sided.
| Ask me again why I could never love you. |
With that, Buffy fell to the ground, screeching and sobbing in agony.
~
tbc...
Add. A/N: Ugh. I hated writing that. But it's necessary. And before you reach for your rotten tomatoes and various other trash-like items, that's about the peak of the angst for our beloved couple. Everything is gonna get a helluva lot lighter from this point on.
