Two
And we hide behind,
Lies, anger, Hate they shoo love away,
Build shells of ourselves outside,
It shelters body from cold reigns of reality,
Come on, Step out, of your rind, assemble strength, focus,
Release and run to me you can never look back to the visions from the past they fade and wilt in time,
You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through,
Then I turn and walk away,
Eclipse you,
And bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph aur,
Eclipse you,
I spit up on my plate and I push everything away,
I need,
And we sever all ties,
It creates disruption midst circle of friends,
I become the sacrifice,
Spare your life and leave me to my misery,
Get off the cross, and save yourself, run away
Run now get away from me if I can get my grip I'll pull you down into the hell I call my head you'll never get away
I sit down in my ugly place and build walls out of fragments from my past of all the people that I needed and loved that walked away,
You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through then I'll turn and walk away
I walk under the clouds of gray,
Sphere of storms in my head,
I'm trapped again in endless rain
I divorce the thoughts of you I love with me,
I divorce your innocence and my guilt,
I divorce the lying sellout confidence,
I'm divorcing every mother fuckin' thing
I divorce the love bled meaningless,
I divorce the makeshift harmony,
I divorce the taunting acts of violence,
I divorce the pastime of jealousy,
I divorce control,
I divorce the faith,
I divorce the virtue,
I divorce the rain,
I divorce the excuse,
I divorce the greed,
I divorce the need,
I divorce iniquity in this mother fuckin' bullshit life,
Just want it all to go away,
Just want to run away to die, take it, myself, my life
Text book fucking mental, off me and pitch me in a hole
I'll always be your shadow,
And veil your eyes from states of ain soph aur,
I can't be the hero anymore,
I spit up on my plate and then I turn and walk away,
I spit up on my plate and I disrupt the family,
I spit up on my plate and I sever the entity,
And I feel your warm sun on my face
Separate.
Eclipse you and bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph aur,
I need you,
It's always been this way, I push it all away,
From me
Severed Mudvayne
She jumped off the stage, people were laughed, cheering and calling out for more. She said no and heading out back to work.
"Great song." Logan said.
"God, are you still following me?"
"I need to talk to you." Logan shrugged.
"I'll kick the shit out of you, I'll have no shame in that!"
"I believe you would, but will you please hear me out?"
She looked at him sidelong. "Why should I?"
"Because I can fight back."
She lashed out, her claws shooting out and slashing him across the stomach. He recoiled.
"Holy Shit." He said and extended his own claws. "Fine, let's fight."
She lunged to punch him, he ducked and she flipped over him and kicked him to the ground and slashed his sides. He rolled out of the way and jumped up and lunged at her. He cut her back right shoulder, but she countered by stabbing him in the side. He yelped out in pain and slashed out in a fury cutting her cheek and upper arm. She yelped, retracted her claws and clutched her cheek. She took a few steps back glaring at him.
"Are you alright?" he asked retracting his claws.
"Fine, I am fine, I just don't take facial cuts to well, they don't heal as quickly." She said looking at her hand, which was covered in blood. She rubbed at it, yet it kept bleeding.
"I'm sorry Oz, I didn't mean to-"
"Hey, I started it, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah you did."
She glared at him then at her hand, it stopped bleeding and the cuts were slowly closing. "So, why do you want me to go to New York?"
"There is a school over there for people like us."
"Us?"
"Mutants." He grinned. "And Professor Xavier, the founder of the school, would like to talk to you and have a chat."
Oz looked around for anything to wash her hands with. "And if I say no?"
"There are more people like Scott and I over there, I think the professor would kidnap you and talk to you."
Oz chuckled. "He wouldn't do that." She sighed. "Fine, let's go to New York and 'chat' with this guy of yours then I have to come back home. That project doesn't really start for another week, I suppose I could take a vacation."
"Your boss wouldn't mind?"
"Jason?"
"Yeah, I heard you talking about him before you sang."
"He's not my boss, I work for him sometimes, he lined up this project for me, but he isn't my boss, I am self-employed and I don't let him forget it either." She nodded. "When he pisses me off I up and leave him for a few days to work by himself, let him do things on his own then I come back and offer a helping a hand."
"He asks you to come back?"
She thought. "No, not always, but I am nicer then I make myself to be."
Logan nodded. "So you'll come to talk to him with me?"
"Yes Logan if that will make you happy and leave me alone."
He nodded. "It will."
"Good." She sighed. "When do we leave?"
Scott wasn't happy that he had to fly back out to New Mexico and pick them up, but it was good nonetheless, Oz was coming to New York to talk to the Professor so the whole school was happy and Oz. well, Oz was content.
"Oz Conner," Professor Xavier rolled out into the hall. "It is very nice to finally meet you face to face."
Oz looked down at him. "Don't probe my mind Professor, I will leave."
"Oh, I don't mean to pry Oz, I was just receiving the basics."
She said nothing, she always did the same, receive the basics, name, age, type of mutant, powers. she smiled and looked around.
"Nice digs Professor." She said. "I like the architect."
"That's nice, shall we go into my office?"
She nodded and they left the two boys in the hall.
"So, Oz, how did you come by all of your powers, you are very enigmatic in that you have so many powers."
"Not so much of powers as they are a way of survival."
"Yes," he nodded. "But why do you illustrate them in that manner?"
She walked to the window and looked out of it. "Because Professor they were my survival."
"Oz?"
"What do you want from me Professor?" she asked in a low voice. "I am not a specimen to study under a microscope."
"I know."
"And I am not a specimen to interrogate for hours on end about my life and how I 'came-to-be'."
"You say this as if you are bored."
"Not bored Professor, I am never bored, I am content, I have learned to be content, because this is as good as it gets."
"You treat yourself as normal people treat the mutants."
"Normal," she snorted. "And what per se is 'normal'?"
"Oz, I am not trying to bore into you," he sighed. "I have picked you up through Cerebro, I can only pick you up through Cerebro when you use your powers and no other time and I wish to know if you are the only one who can do this or if there are others out there like you, and how you accomplish this."
She rubbed her temple. "Professor, if you concentrated hard enough you would see your Cerebro cannot pick me up either way, as mutant or human, until I use my powers, the other month when Stryker got a hold of you and your powers, when you attacked the mutants, I was unharmed, when you attacked the humans after Magneto turned the tables, I was again unharmed."
"Yes, but why?"
She rubbed harder. "Because," She turned and looked at him. "I was programmed that way."
There was a sharp knock at the door, Oz looked at it and disappeared.
"Come in." Professor said.
Kurt walked in. "Professor, I just got the strangest feeling."
The Professor looked at him curiously.
"Oz, you're still here?" Logan asked.
Oz sat on the steps, it was a little past two, and she sipped Bacardi. "Yeah, I am still here."
"Where did you get that? This is school grounds you know."
She nodded and handed it to him. "Want some?"
He hesitated then took it and drank.
"I went into town, I was going to catch a bus out of here but then I caught something, a bad vibe or something, and I wanted to investigate. So I bought the Bacardi and I came back."
"Bad vibe?"
She shrugged. "It is gone now, but it was here, right here on this step." She patted the step and closed her eyes. "Like an echo."
"Echo?"
"Echo." She giggled. "What I picked up right here was an echo, a memory, of regret."
"You lost me."
She sighed. "I loose everyone." She got up and walked away.
"Where are you going now?"
"I am leaving."
"Where? Why?"
She turned to him. "Why not? There is nothing here for me Logan, this is a house to me, a home to you."
"I don't live here."
"No, you don't get it, a house is a building where people reside. A home is a place where no matter where you go you feel as if you belong there. Am I correct to say that no matter where you go you always feel. like you belong here?"
He nodded. "Yes."
"This is your home Logan, to me," she shrugged and opened the front door. "It is just another house."
And she was gone.
*** *** *** ***
"Where the HELL did you go Miss Conner?"
Oz starred at Jason for long moment then turned and left the office.
The over-ambitious, over-dressed man ran after her. "Oz Conner! You had no right to walk out of me, you had no right to take that little vacation of yours you had no right-" he grabbed her arm and twisted her around.
She ripped her arm from his grip and backhanded him as hard as she could without making it look like an effort.
Jason twisted and collapsed to the ground. He squirmed and turned over onto his belly and looked up at her.
She flicked him off and walked off. "Your on your own screw boy."
"Oz," Professor Xavier smiled. "Interesting to see you back here."
Logan walked up in the shadows and watched in silent.
"Why did you come back?"
She smiled at him. "I never said thank you for having me."
Professor Xavier chuckled. "You didn't have to come all the way back for that."
She nodded. "Yeah, but I also discovered there is nothing for me back at where I use to live."
"Use to live?"
"Albuquerque has nothing for me."
"And this place does?"
"Well," she looked around. "No, not that I can sense, but I figured out who you are after reading a few minds here. I didn't exactly realize that you were that famous for your powers." She shrugged and looked around. "I figure I at least owe you my story."
"Owe me for what?"
"Well, you sent that jet all the way to Albuquerque and I am a teleporter."
"I figured you needed to know where you are going."
"Most of the time yes, but if I am teleporting someone with me and they know where they are going they can concentrate hard enough and channel through me and we can get to that place."
He nodded. "I didn't know that."
She shrugged. "So, Professor, my story?"
"You want to tell it now?" he looked at his watch. "You are an owl. It is six past one."
"Oh," she yawned. "I suppose I can tell you later then." She threw a small bag over her shoulder and turned away. "Then I'll come back later."
"Where are you going?" Logan said coming out of hiding.
"To find a place to crash." She said glaring at him.
"Why not just stay here?"
"Logan, we do not have room."
"She can sleep in my room, I'll crash on the couch."
"No," Oz shook her head. "It is your bed, I'll head into town."
"Please, it'll save you about an hours walk both ways." Logan said. "My room is big, you can have the bed and I'll take the couch in the next room."
Oz turned to them. "Fine, but I get the couch."
Logan crossed his arms. "Now are you going to be difficult?"
She dropped her bag and brought her arms up in readiness, her claws extended and she narrowed her eyes. "What do you think?"
Professor Xavier laughed.
"I was born a twin, or so I was told, my twin was adopted out and I was taken by my father to some sort of training facility. I was raised a killer, by age seven I could stalk, plan, kill and either make it look like an accident or get away with it cleanly. I was abused, heavy shock therapy. Whips, electrocution, physically being beaten up, life was shit; it was no illusion and no joy ride. So I learned to withdraw from the pain, that only make it worse, cat o' nine tails, water-drenched electrocution, then when I was being physically beaten up, the pain unlocked my ability to teleport, my father didn't like that, so I was held in spot by a person with telekinetic powers and I was beaten.
"But I learned everything they had to teach me, then I ran away. They found me and locked my memories, they beat me, harshly, but I got away again. I was safe, for about three years maybe, but then they found me and they beat me for all hell's worth and they projected images into my mind, things I am capable of doing, all the harm I could cause, all the shit I could rile up." She rubbed her temple. "I couldn't get them out, I still can't, I had to quit my job at the construction site and take time out to settle all this shit in my head. I knew my father did this to me, and that thought alone ripped me apart. So I got the papers and became legally self- employed and it's been working since. I have money, enough to live by on, and my education is fantastic, aside them beating and training me, I learned a lot, I read every single book I could get a hold of. I've read all of the encyclopedias A to Z and I'm still reading the dictionary. But I hate getting into all those technical words; I keep my life and my knowledge simple and basic. Who gives a damn about proper speech anymore? Or correct grammar? No one, so I keep it rough and simple and I live."
"And that's everything?" Professor Xavier asked.
"Yes, the beatings and the pain awoke all powers inside of me to come out. The telepathic and telekinetic powers I was born with, I always had them, I just never use them, I was born with claws, I was born with adamantium in my body, this is me Professor Xavier, I am a mutant mutt."
And we hide behind,
Lies, anger, Hate they shoo love away,
Build shells of ourselves outside,
It shelters body from cold reigns of reality,
Come on, Step out, of your rind, assemble strength, focus,
Release and run to me you can never look back to the visions from the past they fade and wilt in time,
You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through,
Then I turn and walk away,
Eclipse you,
And bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph aur,
Eclipse you,
I spit up on my plate and I push everything away,
I need,
And we sever all ties,
It creates disruption midst circle of friends,
I become the sacrifice,
Spare your life and leave me to my misery,
Get off the cross, and save yourself, run away
Run now get away from me if I can get my grip I'll pull you down into the hell I call my head you'll never get away
I sit down in my ugly place and build walls out of fragments from my past of all the people that I needed and loved that walked away,
You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through then I'll turn and walk away
I walk under the clouds of gray,
Sphere of storms in my head,
I'm trapped again in endless rain
I divorce the thoughts of you I love with me,
I divorce your innocence and my guilt,
I divorce the lying sellout confidence,
I'm divorcing every mother fuckin' thing
I divorce the love bled meaningless,
I divorce the makeshift harmony,
I divorce the taunting acts of violence,
I divorce the pastime of jealousy,
I divorce control,
I divorce the faith,
I divorce the virtue,
I divorce the rain,
I divorce the excuse,
I divorce the greed,
I divorce the need,
I divorce iniquity in this mother fuckin' bullshit life,
Just want it all to go away,
Just want to run away to die, take it, myself, my life
Text book fucking mental, off me and pitch me in a hole
I'll always be your shadow,
And veil your eyes from states of ain soph aur,
I can't be the hero anymore,
I spit up on my plate and then I turn and walk away,
I spit up on my plate and I disrupt the family,
I spit up on my plate and I sever the entity,
And I feel your warm sun on my face
Separate.
Eclipse you and bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph aur,
I need you,
It's always been this way, I push it all away,
From me
Severed Mudvayne
She jumped off the stage, people were laughed, cheering and calling out for more. She said no and heading out back to work.
"Great song." Logan said.
"God, are you still following me?"
"I need to talk to you." Logan shrugged.
"I'll kick the shit out of you, I'll have no shame in that!"
"I believe you would, but will you please hear me out?"
She looked at him sidelong. "Why should I?"
"Because I can fight back."
She lashed out, her claws shooting out and slashing him across the stomach. He recoiled.
"Holy Shit." He said and extended his own claws. "Fine, let's fight."
She lunged to punch him, he ducked and she flipped over him and kicked him to the ground and slashed his sides. He rolled out of the way and jumped up and lunged at her. He cut her back right shoulder, but she countered by stabbing him in the side. He yelped out in pain and slashed out in a fury cutting her cheek and upper arm. She yelped, retracted her claws and clutched her cheek. She took a few steps back glaring at him.
"Are you alright?" he asked retracting his claws.
"Fine, I am fine, I just don't take facial cuts to well, they don't heal as quickly." She said looking at her hand, which was covered in blood. She rubbed at it, yet it kept bleeding.
"I'm sorry Oz, I didn't mean to-"
"Hey, I started it, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah you did."
She glared at him then at her hand, it stopped bleeding and the cuts were slowly closing. "So, why do you want me to go to New York?"
"There is a school over there for people like us."
"Us?"
"Mutants." He grinned. "And Professor Xavier, the founder of the school, would like to talk to you and have a chat."
Oz looked around for anything to wash her hands with. "And if I say no?"
"There are more people like Scott and I over there, I think the professor would kidnap you and talk to you."
Oz chuckled. "He wouldn't do that." She sighed. "Fine, let's go to New York and 'chat' with this guy of yours then I have to come back home. That project doesn't really start for another week, I suppose I could take a vacation."
"Your boss wouldn't mind?"
"Jason?"
"Yeah, I heard you talking about him before you sang."
"He's not my boss, I work for him sometimes, he lined up this project for me, but he isn't my boss, I am self-employed and I don't let him forget it either." She nodded. "When he pisses me off I up and leave him for a few days to work by himself, let him do things on his own then I come back and offer a helping a hand."
"He asks you to come back?"
She thought. "No, not always, but I am nicer then I make myself to be."
Logan nodded. "So you'll come to talk to him with me?"
"Yes Logan if that will make you happy and leave me alone."
He nodded. "It will."
"Good." She sighed. "When do we leave?"
Scott wasn't happy that he had to fly back out to New Mexico and pick them up, but it was good nonetheless, Oz was coming to New York to talk to the Professor so the whole school was happy and Oz. well, Oz was content.
"Oz Conner," Professor Xavier rolled out into the hall. "It is very nice to finally meet you face to face."
Oz looked down at him. "Don't probe my mind Professor, I will leave."
"Oh, I don't mean to pry Oz, I was just receiving the basics."
She said nothing, she always did the same, receive the basics, name, age, type of mutant, powers. she smiled and looked around.
"Nice digs Professor." She said. "I like the architect."
"That's nice, shall we go into my office?"
She nodded and they left the two boys in the hall.
"So, Oz, how did you come by all of your powers, you are very enigmatic in that you have so many powers."
"Not so much of powers as they are a way of survival."
"Yes," he nodded. "But why do you illustrate them in that manner?"
She walked to the window and looked out of it. "Because Professor they were my survival."
"Oz?"
"What do you want from me Professor?" she asked in a low voice. "I am not a specimen to study under a microscope."
"I know."
"And I am not a specimen to interrogate for hours on end about my life and how I 'came-to-be'."
"You say this as if you are bored."
"Not bored Professor, I am never bored, I am content, I have learned to be content, because this is as good as it gets."
"You treat yourself as normal people treat the mutants."
"Normal," she snorted. "And what per se is 'normal'?"
"Oz, I am not trying to bore into you," he sighed. "I have picked you up through Cerebro, I can only pick you up through Cerebro when you use your powers and no other time and I wish to know if you are the only one who can do this or if there are others out there like you, and how you accomplish this."
She rubbed her temple. "Professor, if you concentrated hard enough you would see your Cerebro cannot pick me up either way, as mutant or human, until I use my powers, the other month when Stryker got a hold of you and your powers, when you attacked the mutants, I was unharmed, when you attacked the humans after Magneto turned the tables, I was again unharmed."
"Yes, but why?"
She rubbed harder. "Because," She turned and looked at him. "I was programmed that way."
There was a sharp knock at the door, Oz looked at it and disappeared.
"Come in." Professor said.
Kurt walked in. "Professor, I just got the strangest feeling."
The Professor looked at him curiously.
"Oz, you're still here?" Logan asked.
Oz sat on the steps, it was a little past two, and she sipped Bacardi. "Yeah, I am still here."
"Where did you get that? This is school grounds you know."
She nodded and handed it to him. "Want some?"
He hesitated then took it and drank.
"I went into town, I was going to catch a bus out of here but then I caught something, a bad vibe or something, and I wanted to investigate. So I bought the Bacardi and I came back."
"Bad vibe?"
She shrugged. "It is gone now, but it was here, right here on this step." She patted the step and closed her eyes. "Like an echo."
"Echo?"
"Echo." She giggled. "What I picked up right here was an echo, a memory, of regret."
"You lost me."
She sighed. "I loose everyone." She got up and walked away.
"Where are you going now?"
"I am leaving."
"Where? Why?"
She turned to him. "Why not? There is nothing here for me Logan, this is a house to me, a home to you."
"I don't live here."
"No, you don't get it, a house is a building where people reside. A home is a place where no matter where you go you feel as if you belong there. Am I correct to say that no matter where you go you always feel. like you belong here?"
He nodded. "Yes."
"This is your home Logan, to me," she shrugged and opened the front door. "It is just another house."
And she was gone.
*** *** *** ***
"Where the HELL did you go Miss Conner?"
Oz starred at Jason for long moment then turned and left the office.
The over-ambitious, over-dressed man ran after her. "Oz Conner! You had no right to walk out of me, you had no right to take that little vacation of yours you had no right-" he grabbed her arm and twisted her around.
She ripped her arm from his grip and backhanded him as hard as she could without making it look like an effort.
Jason twisted and collapsed to the ground. He squirmed and turned over onto his belly and looked up at her.
She flicked him off and walked off. "Your on your own screw boy."
"Oz," Professor Xavier smiled. "Interesting to see you back here."
Logan walked up in the shadows and watched in silent.
"Why did you come back?"
She smiled at him. "I never said thank you for having me."
Professor Xavier chuckled. "You didn't have to come all the way back for that."
She nodded. "Yeah, but I also discovered there is nothing for me back at where I use to live."
"Use to live?"
"Albuquerque has nothing for me."
"And this place does?"
"Well," she looked around. "No, not that I can sense, but I figured out who you are after reading a few minds here. I didn't exactly realize that you were that famous for your powers." She shrugged and looked around. "I figure I at least owe you my story."
"Owe me for what?"
"Well, you sent that jet all the way to Albuquerque and I am a teleporter."
"I figured you needed to know where you are going."
"Most of the time yes, but if I am teleporting someone with me and they know where they are going they can concentrate hard enough and channel through me and we can get to that place."
He nodded. "I didn't know that."
She shrugged. "So, Professor, my story?"
"You want to tell it now?" he looked at his watch. "You are an owl. It is six past one."
"Oh," she yawned. "I suppose I can tell you later then." She threw a small bag over her shoulder and turned away. "Then I'll come back later."
"Where are you going?" Logan said coming out of hiding.
"To find a place to crash." She said glaring at him.
"Why not just stay here?"
"Logan, we do not have room."
"She can sleep in my room, I'll crash on the couch."
"No," Oz shook her head. "It is your bed, I'll head into town."
"Please, it'll save you about an hours walk both ways." Logan said. "My room is big, you can have the bed and I'll take the couch in the next room."
Oz turned to them. "Fine, but I get the couch."
Logan crossed his arms. "Now are you going to be difficult?"
She dropped her bag and brought her arms up in readiness, her claws extended and she narrowed her eyes. "What do you think?"
Professor Xavier laughed.
"I was born a twin, or so I was told, my twin was adopted out and I was taken by my father to some sort of training facility. I was raised a killer, by age seven I could stalk, plan, kill and either make it look like an accident or get away with it cleanly. I was abused, heavy shock therapy. Whips, electrocution, physically being beaten up, life was shit; it was no illusion and no joy ride. So I learned to withdraw from the pain, that only make it worse, cat o' nine tails, water-drenched electrocution, then when I was being physically beaten up, the pain unlocked my ability to teleport, my father didn't like that, so I was held in spot by a person with telekinetic powers and I was beaten.
"But I learned everything they had to teach me, then I ran away. They found me and locked my memories, they beat me, harshly, but I got away again. I was safe, for about three years maybe, but then they found me and they beat me for all hell's worth and they projected images into my mind, things I am capable of doing, all the harm I could cause, all the shit I could rile up." She rubbed her temple. "I couldn't get them out, I still can't, I had to quit my job at the construction site and take time out to settle all this shit in my head. I knew my father did this to me, and that thought alone ripped me apart. So I got the papers and became legally self- employed and it's been working since. I have money, enough to live by on, and my education is fantastic, aside them beating and training me, I learned a lot, I read every single book I could get a hold of. I've read all of the encyclopedias A to Z and I'm still reading the dictionary. But I hate getting into all those technical words; I keep my life and my knowledge simple and basic. Who gives a damn about proper speech anymore? Or correct grammar? No one, so I keep it rough and simple and I live."
"And that's everything?" Professor Xavier asked.
"Yes, the beatings and the pain awoke all powers inside of me to come out. The telepathic and telekinetic powers I was born with, I always had them, I just never use them, I was born with claws, I was born with adamantium in my body, this is me Professor Xavier, I am a mutant mutt."
