Title: Supernova

A/N: The song in this chapter is 'Goodbye to You (Michelle Branch, The Spirit Room, 2001.)  Thanks for the reviews!

Disclaimer: 'CSI' didn't belong to me five minutes ago.  It still doesn't belong to me now…

Spoilers: "Playing with Fire"

***

                Sara walked towards the diner.  She waited at the door for Nick, letting the raindrops fall lightly on her hair.  The diner brought back memories for Sara, memories of the Grissom she fell in love with.  She shook her head, trying to expel the thoughts.  It seemed that everything reminded her of him.

                "Hey."

                Nick's voice interrupted her thoughts.

                "You OK," he asked.

                "Yeah," Sara replied.  "Just thinking."

                Nick nodded.  They both knew she was lying, but neither was willing to admit it.  Sara followed Nick absently into the diner, letting him choose a table and order coffee for them.

                "What do you want?" Nick said, once again intruding into her thoughts.

                "Um, an egg and toast, please," Sara requested.  The waitress jotted down the order, and took down Nick's order of the Sunshine breakfast.

                "Sorry I'm not being good company," Sara apologized.  "I've been thinking about the case, and the circus it's turning into."

                "Is that all," Nick asked gently.

                Sara's eyes flew open.  Her mind briefly entertained all the possible excuses she could feed him.  One look in his eyes told her he wouldn't buy anything short of the truth.

                "No," Sara admitted.  "It's been an interesting couple of weeks."

                Nick nodded, not pushing her for anything more.

                Sara expelled the breath she'd been holding.  She didn't want to tell him that she'd asked Grissom on a date.  It wasn't something that she was proud of when she considered the matter in retrospect.

                The waitress appeared at their table, placing their orders down in front of them.  Nick and Sara ate their meals in companionable silence, neither mentioning the case or anything else.  The cheque arrived shortly after their plates were cleared, and Nick insisted on paying.  Sara didn't bother arguing with him.  She knew he wouldn't let her win this battle, and to be honest, she didn't want to waste energy fighting with him.

                Nick drove her back to the lab, not bothering to ask whether she wanted to go home.  He knew her too well, she reflected.

                He surprised her at the parking lot when he parked the car and got out with her.

                "Forgot something," she asked distractedly, her thoughts already returning to the puzzle of Matthews homicide.

                "No," Nick replied, grinning.  "I'm coming back to work too."

                Sara looked up, shocked.

                "Don't you have a date or something?"

                "Yeah," Nick said, "with a computer and a couple case files."

                "Watch it.  I think you've been hanging around me too much."

                "Yeah, and you've been hanging around Grissom too much," Nick teased.  Immediately, he wished he could take it back.  Sara's face dropped imperceptibly, but he still noticed her stiff reaction to the reference to Grissom.  They were silent the rest of the way to the layout room.

                At the doorway, Nick paused.

"He was a fool to say no, Sara."

Sara stared straight ahead at the wall, unable to look at him.

"How'd you know," she whispered.

"Its my job to assemble the puzzle pieces," Nick replied. 

                Sara smiled wryly at the wall.

                "Grissom wasn't the only fool," she said.  "I never should have asked."

                "If you hadn't, you'd never know how he felt," Nick retorted.

                She nodded.  He looked once more at her back, and then exited the room to leave her in peace.  Sara appreciated the gesture.  She needed some time to gather her thoughts.  If she couldn't handle Nick mentioning Grissom's name, how could she handle working with him?  Grissom might be able to hide his emotions, but Sara was having difficulties hiding hers in recent weeks.

                She headed to the computer to pull up the file on Dr. Ethan Matthews, resolving to find something in the database to lend a clue to the murder investigation.  Her subconscious noted another reason for her eagerness to submerse herself in work: forgetting.

***

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star


***

                Straightening her shoulders, trying to shake her feelings of regret and embarrassment, Sara logged into the police database, automatically entering her user ID and password.  She typed in 'Matthews, Ethan' and desperately tried to push thoughts of Grissom out her mind.  Her inner voice kept on repeating what Nick said to her.

***

"He was a fool to say no, Sara."

***

                "If you hadn't, you'd never know how he felt."

***

                "Beep."

                Sara frowned.  The computer was registering an error in her search.  Twisting her hair behind her ear, she redefined the search parameters.  Again, the error screen popped up.  She tried every possible search pattern she knew, and still retrieved nothing.

                Frustrated, Sara walked out of the layout room, searching for Warrick.  She found him crouched in front of a computer screen.

                "Hey," she said, "do you have a minute?"

                Warrick jerked back from the computer screen.

                "I thought you left."

                "I did," Sara grinned.

                "But you came back."

                "Now, why do you sound surprised Warrick?"

                "Haven't a clue," he smiled.  "What can I help you with?"

                "The search engine on the database is being fickle.  Care to give me a hand?"

                "Sure."

                Warrick followed Sara back to her computer station and sat down in her chair.  He re-entered the search, and the error screen popped up again.  Warrick's forehead wrinkled as he concentrated on the screen.  Finally, he pulled up the error message to find the source of the error.

                "Bingo," he muttered.

                Sara, who had been reorganizing the photographs on the table, walked over to the computer.

                "He's here all right, but the access is restricted."

                "Who can access it," Sara asked.

                "The mayor," Warrick replied, his tone ironic.

                Sara looked at Warrick, their eyes betraying the feelings.  Just what was so important in his file that Dr. Matthews had to secure it?