Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Greg directed Sara to his neighbourhood. As they drove there, neither of them talking which was pretty rare for both of them. Sara noticed how little she knew about Greg. Not only had she had no idea where he lived, she also knew little about his personal life. She always assumed that he was single, but she had no idea what he did when he wasn't working. In fact he always seemed to be at work. He usually was there before she got there and after she left. Considering that she put in for overtime on a regular basis, she could imagine what Greg's timesheet must look like.
"We're there. You can drop me off right here." Greg indicated
Sara parked in front of an apartment building. Somehow the neighbourhood looked too normal for Greg. But truth be told, she never had given much thought to that. In fact, in her mind, Greg just belonged to the lab. She had never pictured him leading an outside life. Maybe Greg hadn't been that wrong after all when he had said that people only cared about the work he was doing. She guessed that she was guilty in that department as well. Regarding him as a fast and funny piece of lab equipment, that happened to talk a lot and move around. She suddenly felt bad. Her life used to be so work-centred that she had even ignored the people she was working with.
"Thanks for driving me home." Greg was getting out of the car. Sara followed him.
"Should I get you tomorrow then?"
"No, that's nice, but not necessary."
"Well, your car is still parked at CSI. How are you going to get to work tomorrow?" Sara continued before Greg answered.
"Don't tell me that you aren't going."
Sara already knew the answer and she knew that Greg didn't want to discuss whatever reasons he had for wanting to quit his job.
"You said it before, it's your life, but it's also your choice. You can resign, even though you don't want to, or you can tell the people around you what's wrong and you can try and figure this out."
Sara was surprised at herself. She had never thought she could react in such a drastic manner.
Greg said nothing, he just looked at her, thinking about what to do. He had thought about the choices he had, earlier at the lab. None of them had sounded appealing, but he had neglected a factor. He maybe didn't have to see it all through alone, at least he could tells someone, what was there left to ruin. So he decided to take the leap forward.
"You sure you want to listen to me whine about my life?" the humour didn't come across well.
"I'm sure, that's what friends are for Greg. Now, we wanna stand in the corridor forever?" Sara asked.
"No, I'm sorry." Greg was afraid of yet another lock challenge, but he was feeling more relaxed now than he had before. He managed to manoeuvre the key into the lock at his first attempt.
"Hope you don't faint, it's not looking that great, but I haven't been getting around to do much cleaning lately."
"It's ok, I've seen worse."
Greg was living in a rather small apartment. He had not that much furniture, but it still looked crammed mainly because of the books and CDs which seemed to be omnipresent. After having freed the couch of various items, they sat down. Having forgotten his earlier experience of painful contact with the back of the seat in his car. Greg accidentally leaned against the couch, only the regret it instantly. This had happened a couple of times during the last two days.
Sara noticed him wince.
"Your back."
"Yeah, it's gonna take a while before I can comfortably lean back again."
"Oh, I didn't know it was that bad. Catherine and Warrick just mentioned that you had burns to the neck and back. Well, I should have visited after all." Her tone was regretful.
Greg ignored the last part, not wanting to stir the conversation into that direction, as Sara clearly didn't want to go there. He was just glad, that he could talk to someone whom listed and wasn't going to have him fired because he couldn't do his job properly.
"It started all I think while I was in hospital. Five days with nothing to do is a lot of time to think. I know it sounds idiotic but, I felt that something was wrong with my life."
Sara was startled. After the explosion she had started to feel that she needed to take a more active role in her own life, which was pretty ironic. She had never thought that Greg was dissatisfied with his life. After all he was always talking flippantly and grinning like a maniac. Well, most of the time anyways. It had rarely occurred to her, that just maybe, it was a façade to hide behind. And if she called the last two days back to memory Greg had been funny, but not the same as usual. She remembered that odd Mongolian Beef joke. That had been strange. She realized that Greg expected her to say something.
"I think I know what you mean. Is that why you want to do something else now?"
No, not at all. I still love my job. It's just that every time I even started thinking about going back to the lab, I got all nervous. I thought it was going to pass, but it didn't. I can't concentrate at work, and as you've noticed, I can't stop shaking. Sometimes, I can barely hold anything."
He hoped that Sara wasn't thinking that he must have totally lost it now. Sara wasn't. In fact she felt sorry for Greg and could understand why he hadn't told people about this. Still if he wanted to quit, he had to tell Grissom something. And she suspected that Grissom already knew.
"Did Grissom notice you shaking?"
"Yes, he asked me about. But I told him that I had it under control. Then I wanted to go back and talk to him about it, telling him that I didn't, but he wasn't there."
"That's odd. I noticed not seeing him today second half of shift. I wanted to ask Catherine, but she looked like she was in a really bad mood today, so I didn't want to get in her way."
"You noticed that too? I asked her where Grissom was. She reacted all distracted, only told me that he was on leave and as going to be back in a few days. I guess we are not the only ones having their issues."
"We?"
"Yes, I've been a bit off myself lately." Sara admitted.
"What do you mean by off. I've spilled my guts, now it's your turn." Greg said, only half joking.
"I can't put it into words that well. At first I think I was totally in shock. I don't even remember getting out of the building after the explosion. I didn't realize that I had cut myself on the glass shards."
Sara looked up at Greg. She could see that talking about the explosion itself made him feel uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Afterwards, I just felt that I had to do something. Because, I think, I realized that I could have been killed and the life I'd have lost was I really not much of a life. I work, read, eat and sleep. But there has to be more. So, In decided to start doing something with my life. Only problem is that, I'm too scared of what's gonna happen if I do. So far, it's done nothing but get me into trouble. I apprehended a suspect at a scene, just to have Brass and Nick tell Grissom about it, who now thinks that I should be on paid leave instead of being on the job. I don't I want that."
"Looks like we are in quite similar spots, stuck in life and work. What are you going to do about it then?"
"I have no idea. I was thinking, I should pay more attention to the people around me.
"You did that today. Thanks."
"All my pleasure. So what will you do tomorrow?"
"I don't know. I don't think I have much of a choice."
"You do. Talk to Grissom. I know, sometimes he seems not really human, but he is. He isn't going to fire you. If you feel you need some more time off from work, take it. You don't have to quit right away. If you did, I think people would really miss you at the lab. You do work incredibly fast and lighten things up around the place. Otherwise, it would just be us gloomy workaholics and paranoid Hodges ruling over the lab." Sara smile, trying to get Greg to lighten up a bit. "If you want, I'll put in a good word for you with Grissom."
"Only if you let me introduce you to a new hobby. You said you wanted to do something new." For the first time, Greg's tone wasn't bitter or cynical.
"What hobby?"
"You'll see."
"Well, right now I'm seeing something else." Sara glanced at her watch.
"What is it?" Greg asked
"We're due back at work in four hours. Listen, I'm starving, want to join me for something to eat?"
"Since, my car is parked half way across town and I am a lousy cook, I'll have no other choice." Greg smiled.
The world was far from perfect for Greg right now, but there were bright spots on the horizon. It felt good having been able to talk to someone, who didn't make him feel bad about having problems. That it was Sara didn't hurt either. Walking out into the day, he smiled, the first genuine smile in a while.
Note: Well, it's done. Originally I didn't have it planned as a whole story, but I enjoyed writing it. If you've read it, please let me know what you think, good or bad. Hope I made up for killing off Greg in the other story I have going at the moment.
