Revised
-Author's Ranting-
I think it's about time to bring things back that I might have forgotten about. I will try
to make this fic more regularly posted, if could be helped. Since I dropped Calculus
BC, I have more free time and I'm starting to do things as hobbies, writing fanfics for
you great readers of them. The other, is to make my own site, Anime \ Japanese learning \
my programs and games\ my fanfics and stories. The japanese learning part will be a pain
in the rear. it will probably be at supafloyd.2ya.com as a redirect. But the site is
basically empty as of now. I need to log in after I make a intro page. At my site you will
have the advantage of seeing works being posted before ff.net, and learning a little
Japanese. I currently am organizing the lessons. My lessons will be great because it will
be a Japanese learner teaching, not a English learner, get it? Most books and things to
learn Japanese with are made by people who only know English as a second language. I also
will post my DBZ game...and Japanese learning programs, as well. I will probably update my
DBZgame with a newer version, eventually, but my best aim is to make an online graphic
real-time, navigate able, Anime style RPG, like Runescape and stuff like that, supportable
with dial up, and perhaps, user hosted. User hosted being in such a way, the program on
your computer every time you log on will get a list of IP's of people who have been logged
on the game and have cable or dsl. My computer as server-hub will not necessarily always
be on, and it would be pressing to make it process all the changes and send it out itself.
I will probably do an upper ring(highspeed) and lower ring (low speed). The slower ones
will be connected to the fast ones, so the fast one tell the other fast ones what move you
made, and they would route it to the other players. If one falls out, you will
automatically be routed to another computer. I think the idea is ingenious. Kind of works
like the internet in general with the DNS servers and all, them being the "upper
ring" in the internet.
-End Ranting-
-Gendo's Office-
"Time to bring the past to the present, the ignored, to the fore."
"So shall it be. But I will continue, my scenario as is."
"I expect you to act as is. I would not think otherwise."
"Ah."
"But of course, you and your scenario is just part of a larger picture. My plot, my
story, my fanfic, MY scenario. Know your role." *smirk*
*glare*
-Exit Gendo's Office-
Complicated Feelings
Chapter 11- Hearts in the Aftermath
Mirror. Red Eyes. Unnatural. Awe inspiring. Impressive. Mysterious.
Shinji looked deeply into his own eyes, in the mirror. He then lifted his hand, without breaking his stare. He looked down at his hand. There was a brown contact in it. The contacts he always wore. The condition that was all but forgotten about. This had to mean something. He found it....intriguing.
He remember what Rei had said to him, about him getting to see her since she had saw him. As a guy, and as attractive Rei was, he wanted to take her up on that offer. But was it a true offer? Rei had never said anything she did not mean. She was that type of person. He moved away from the mirror in the bathroom, and decided to leave his contacts out until he left the house. Even though he had worn them so much it still felt more natural without them.
Asuka was on the couch. She was watching the TV. No, she was looking with her eyes unfocused in the general direction of the TV. She was brooding over the previous day. Misato had not came home the night before, and said she'd be out all night, and not to worry about her. Asuka knew she did not have to worry about Misato. Nerv had tabs on every high level employee at all times. Misato was also a commander, being trained with weapons, and hand to hand combat. But the final reason that Asuka knew she did not have to worry about Misato, was that she was almost absolutely sure she was at Kaji's. The thing that got to her was, it was not bugging her as much as the thought of Shinji and the doll the day previous.
He walked out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen to drink. As he went, he had to pass through the living room. Asuka was in the living room. She had not spoken much to him since yesterday. She had seemed to have forgetten about him. There were not even rude comments like "Baka Shinji." It was beginning to worry him. It did not matter that when she talked to him, most of the time it was a one sided self-esteem assassination, but he still cared about her. Call him stupid, like Asuka says, or call him too kind for his own good.
He continued into the kitchen and walked past the wooden dinning set, wooden table and chairs, occupying the center of the room. He opened the refrigerator and slid out one shelf that actually did not have Yebisu bear, or instant food. There he found the tropical land of non-alcoholic beverages. He pulled out one, fruit punch, some what of a delicacy after second impact, it being hard to grow fruits with the new turbulent climates. He sipped it as he walked back out of the kitchen. He saw Asuka on the couch, upside down, with head over the seat, and facing the screen. It was then Shinji realized, it was in a language that Asuka couldn't understand, her languages being English, German, and Japanese. She also did not seem to be really watching.
Shinji walked up to the couch and sat opposite of Asuka. He looked over the rim of his drink as he sipped it, gazing at Asuka. He would steal glances every now and then. He was assessing what he should say, or do. He was not coming up with much.
"Uh...Asuka."
She didn't respond. Shinji cleared his throat.
"Asuka....," Shinji said in a more affection, begging voice, like a kid to their mother.
"Shinji...."
Asuka looked at him. Her eyes were vacant, yet recognition eventually showed after a few moments.
"Shinji?"
"Asuka?"
She flipped herself right side up on the couch and placed her hands in her lap. She looked down at her hands. Silence reined over the room. She looked like she was on the verge of being outwardly emotional, but instead gave off an eerie calm. It seemed like there was so much emotion, but it was being ignored, zoning away from thoughts that would provoke the emotions to an overwhelming level.
"Asuka....you want to talk?"
--------------------
Rei laid contemplating her favorite subject as of late, Shinji. She was spread eagle with the sheets only partially covering her. She laid naked. Rei somewhat hoped Shinji would walk in on her. She loved his reactions to the slightest sexual stimuli. But she also liked the way he appreciated her beauty, even if it was partly perverse. He still looked at her all the time with kind, caring look. You could almost say adoring. She was thinking of Shinji more than she thought anyone should think about anything. Especially something as unnecessary in life, as finding a significant other. One you wish to spend time with, and copulate with. To spend those "tender" moments that she had heard so much about. In her life, she particularly did not have time for such things as love, and affection.
Rei's thoughts jumped to another person, a person she thought she had loved. After being in contact with the Third Child so much, she was not so sure anymore. Shinji showed her so much more than her commander. He commander was an over efficient person, one who could not enjoy life, and would not allow her to either. She was important to him, so he had a tight hold on her life, and her personality, he having raised her until the age of 13. That was when she was moved out here, and given only her essentials. The only thing she had that was not essential, was the pair of glasses she retrieved from the LCL when the commander had saved her. She smiled with that thought, and then frowned at the way he treated her most of the time. He was capable of being nice to her, but he was not considerate of her feelings like Shinji.
She glanced over at the aforementioned glasses. They were contorted from the ordeal that happened a time ago. She stood and went to them. She picked them up and caressed the frames. Rei caressed them as she thought good thoughts of the commander. Suddenly there was a snap, and a shattering noise. Rei looked down at her cut hand. She had squeezed the remnants of the glass into her hand when she clenched her hand at the thoughtlessness of the commander in previous situations. The commander for her, would always be someone she loved, and hated. Shinji though....
She had a weird feeling standing there. She suddenly felt worried or was the emotion more like concern? Why would she worry or be concerned, she did not care about anything, or anyone, she lived only to fulfill her purpose. She had a flash of Shinji's smile in her mind.
She walked over to the one window in her apartment, and gazed out over the city, and construction, holding the glasses in her hands, never thinking to put them down.
----------------
Asuka looked up from her hands at Shinji. She looked like she could cry, but refused.
Her eyes were glassy, and emotional. She looked like she was begging Shinji for something.
Probably for me to go away....
"Shinji.... what do you think of me?"
That question caught him off guard. What did he think of her? He thought she was beautiful. Asuka's personality was another thing all together. He liked her smile, but most of the time it was either in an stuck up, evil, or cynical smirk. She always abused him, and any attempt he would make of getting close to her, she rejected it. He could save her life and she would only hate him for it.
"I think you are beautiful."
Asuka looked down at her hands. She seemed somewhat happy to hear that, and actually was humble in taking the comment, than blowing it up, and saying, "I'm Asuka Souryu Langely, of course I am beautiful." She also did not seem to want to abuse him for thinking "hentai" thoughts about her.
"Is....that all......."
Shinji wanted to hold her so bad at the moment. He wanted to make her feel better, but he couldn't lie to her. He did not hate her, but he did not like the way she treated him.
"Asuka...I do not hate you, but I do not like the way you treat me. But...I probably deserve it someway...," Shinji finished dejectedly.
Asuka snapped her head up as if the last human alive was just going to leave her all alone on the world. She actually reached out grabbing Shinji's arm, expecting him to already be off the couch and walking away. Shinji was looking down dejectedly, when Asuka grabbed his arm. He flinched at her sudden movement and her grabbing him. He looked as if he was awaiting a bad fate. Asuka let go of his arm, looking at him deeply, their eyes not meeting, as Shinji was looking down. She looked at her hand, and brought it back to her chest. She looked down sadly.
"Am I that bad?" She was more asking herself than Shinji, him already giving her an answer.
She looked in her memories as Shinji looked opposite of her direction. She found for once, she actually felt bad. Shinji was the person who least deserved unhappiness. She had just brought him down, and hurt him. Shinji had always still been nice to her, despite that.
"Shinji....."
******
Shinji made a change in the peoples' hearts all around him. He did was not aware, but his kindness self prostrating attitude, made them feel bad to their cores. They felt guilty of what they did, even if what they did was right. They wished it would had been different.
Misato reflected on Shinji as she sat in her office, her finger caressing the face in the picture frame. The picture on her desk was that of Shinji, one of the few times he gave a meek smile. It was after they had visited the hot springs. She smiled gingerly at the the photo. Shinji was the sweetest person she ever met. That must be why she has this nagging desire to steal him away, and have him all to herself. She wanted to make him forget about all that ails his body and soul. It was mostly a selfish desire. Maybe one day, probably when he was older, they could run off somewhere, and not look back, even if fate would bring them back. Misato doubted that could happen though, seeing how him and the other pilots got along. Shinji, Rei, and Asuka are going to have this whole climatic battle over Shinji. In the end, one of them would have him. She...she was too old for him anyway.
-Authors Notes-
Somewhat sorry about the against, but wanted to get this back to the deepness that i read
in other great writers like Jim Bader, and WFROSE (Depending on story) and Carrotglace.
But those are all Ranma writers.....Like Random1377 or something like that.... He's one of
the best Eva writers. Can't really find those, no offense to you other writers, but one
must read and be articulate to write a truely well story. Not saying I'm great....but I
don't have horrible formatting and over using of exclamations like some people... Sad...i
used to think he was good. Good Plot, but horrible formatting and execution.
Hmm.... There is nothing like a complete story. I know I hate it when I have to always
come back and make sure I finish a story. So, I think I will try to complete stories as
soon as possible. Not that this will stop any time short of 9 more chapters in the least.
Hmm...damn, that means I'm going to have to choose a suitor for Shinji...this is going to
cost me fans....unless......BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH (and no...it's not a group thing)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-End Notes-
*OMAKE*(^_^;; no ideas really...but I'll attempt)
Gendo walked the halls of NERV. He flowed past the workers and didn't even return gestures of respect people gave him. He was inwardly smiling. Gendo enjoyed making people's lives hell. Ever since he lost his wife, since his life was hell, he'd figure he would bring others down with him. It was a hobby of sorts. Yeah, they called him a bastard. But was it so far from the truth? What Gendo does is the bastard thing to do. Oh, how great it is to be a bastard. There was one thing they got wrong about it though. He was not just A bastard, he was THE bastard. They needed to get that straight. Ah, he knew what to do. Make the techies do a diagnostic on the MAGI, in one night, even though it was a week's worth of work, and make the other attendance clean the Evas inside and out. That would make them hate him. Good to be the bastard.
With that, Gendo smiled.
*END OMAKE*
