Author's Note: This chapter is more...drama then humor, I'm afraid. But it's a necessity, I think, because it's another turning point in the relationship between Haldir and Vista. My thanks to my wonderful reviewers; who, rather forcefully, spark the creativity that spurs stories onward and upward to a hopefully non-Mary Sue-ish, non-contrived, and (of course) unforgettable ending.
But there are funny parts. Without which, I doubt I'd continue writing. Even drama deserves to be mocked at certain points.
The rest of the night was spent dancing, eating, talking and laughing. Sometime after midnight, someone went out and started a bonfire on the shore. The party moved out there, enjoying the fresh breezes blowing down the river. Stories were told, songs were sung, and life was great.
Shortly after the move to the beach, people started retiring. Mostly the older Elves, feeling that the hard-core celebrating was best left to the younger. So the crowd slowly dwindled until it was only a dozen or so that watched the sun come up. Half the fun of the evening was centered around keeping the fire going; but now they simply let it die down as the dawn broke.
Vista wanted to stay and help clean up, but the remaining party-goers made her go to bed. Mostly because she looked exhausted; but also, because it had been a party for her, they didn't think it would be right for her to clean up after it. And, besides, that gave Fedoli a chance to talk to Haldir without the possibility of a potentially embarrassing...interruption.
"So what's really going on with you and Vista?" Fedoli asked.
They were taking a break from cleaning up and enjoying a quick, if cold, lunch of leftovers. Ahh, leftovers, a man's best friend.
Haldir looked around quickly, making sure the others were out of earshot.
"I really do not know." he muttered quietly, "She's so damned confusing! She pulls me in one moment, and pushes me away the next. I just...do not know. And that is by far the worst part."
Fedoli arched an eyebrow, "What's the worst part? Not knowing what she's thinking, or not knowing what to do?"
Haldir sighed, "Both, though I wish the most for a map of her mind."
Fedoli laughed, "Ha, ha! Don't we all! But if women were so easy to understand, I don't think life would be half as fun!"
Haldir shot a dark look at him, "You make it out to be a game?"
Fedoli shook his head, still grinning, "No, but you're not seeing what I'm talking about. I think she's testing you, even if she doesn't mean to. It's a subconscious thing, I think. What do you know about her?"
Haldir thought for a moment, "She is 26 now, before she came here, she lived in a city called Seattle where she was going to some sort of school. Her parents live in a place called Ohio, on a farm. She was married once, when she was 18. It barely lasted a year and he abused her."
Fedoli nodded slowly, "Well, that last bit clears up why she's so strange when it comes to men. She gave her heart once to a man who ended up abusing her. And, by the gods, she's not gonna do it again. Even if she rather sabotages herself while doing so."
"What confuses me most is that she does not trust me. Should she not know by now that she can?" Haldir asked.
Fedoli shrugged, "I wouldn't know. Does she even show any sign of beginning to trust you?"
Haldir bit his lip, "Even if she did, I have doubt that I would recognize it."
Fedoli rolled his eyes, "Somehow, I have no problem believing you. Okay...ummm...has she told you things that she doesn't tell other people?"
Haldir nodded, "Once in a while."
Fedoli smiled, "Well, there's a sign right there. Ummm...has she, like, punched or slapped you at any time?"
Haldir raised an eyebrow, "What has that to do with anything?"
Fedoli sighed, "It means that she knows, or at least is testing, how far she can push you before you swing back. And she trusts that you won't snap prematurely, before she reaches that point."
Haldir glared at his brother, "You are making things up."
Fedoli held up his hands, "Hey, I know what I know. Would I lie to you?....Don't answer that."
They both laughed, then sat in a comfortable silence for several minutes. Fedoli studied his younger brother. He was thinking about something; something that was making him smile a small, secretive smile.
Fedoli poked him in the ribs, "Alright, out with it. Whatcha grinning like that for?"
Haldir flushed slightly, but tried to cover it with anger, "What makes you think you have any right to know?"
His older brother grinned, "Ah, so there is something! Something happened last night, huh."
Haldir colored further, "Well, since you seem so interested, yes, something did happen last night."
Fedoli tossed the remains of his lunch in a pail at his feet and stretched out on the ground, knotting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.
"At least you admit it. I saw the whole thing. Was a very nice necklace, by the way."
Rage flooded quickly though Haldir. How dare his brother spy on him? He unsheathed the dagger he always carried and held it lightly to his brother's throat. Fedoli didn't even open his eyes as he replied: "Would it help if I said that means she trusts you?"
Haldir froze. What? He slowly re-sheathed his dagger, then leaned back against the tree behind him.
"I am so confused."
Fedoli laughed, eyes still closed, "Well, like I said before, if women were easy to understand, life wouldn't be nearly as fun."
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Vista was unusually subdued for several days after the party. Though she put on a good front, one good look easily revealed that she was bothered by something. Her eyes moved constantly, showing restlessness of thought. She was more twitchy then usual, showing nervousness and paranoia. The kids thought she was just energized from the party. But others could see it.
Haldir could see it best: because it was mostly directed at him. He'd spoken to Fedoli about it, and his brother figured she was afraid that, because she'd kissed him, he'd think that she had deeper feelings then she said she did.
"You just need to talk to her. Find out what she's thinking."
Haldir sighed, "And just how do you propose I do that?"
Fedoli grinned, "Any way you wish, but I wouldn't recommend tying her up."
Haldir flushed and glared at his brother, "I may not know the ways of women, but I am most definitely not ignorant when it comes to Vista."
His brother laughed, "Well, since you're the one who's gonna face her, I suppose that's a good thing."
*************************************************************************************************************** It took Haldir several days to work up the courage to confront her. This caused him much annoyance at himself, however. The Marchwarden of Lothlorien, afraid of a mortal. A mortal woman, no less.
But Vista is no ordinary woman, mortal or otherwise. You know this well.
It still annoyed him.
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Haldir paused, taking a deep breath. He stood in front of Vista's door, ready to knock on it. His nerves were already beginning to fray. After calming himself, he rapped gently at the door. A bright voice rang out from inside:
"Come in!"
Another breath and Haldir opened the door. Vista was sitting on her bed, replacing something in her box as he entered. She paled slightly when she saw him, but smiled none the less.
"Haldir! What's goin' on?"
He slowly approached the bed, "We need to talk, Vista."
She stared at him apprehensively, "Oh really. About what?"
He cast his gaze around momentarily, "Have you a chair I could sit in?"
Vista blinked, then shook her head, "Oh, sorry. You can sit here if you want." She patted the mattress in front of her.
Haldir flushed slightly, "I do not think that would be...appropriate."
Vista rolled her eyes, "And since when do I give a damn about appropriate? It's more comfortable then the floor, which is the only other thing there is to offer, seating wise."
He still hesitated. Vista rolled her eyes again and moved to the other side of the bed. Haldir noticed that she also pulled the box with her. He reluctantly sat on the edge of the bed, then decided that it would be more comfortable to adopt Vista's position; 'Indian-style'. Haldir noticed that while he was making himself comfortable, Vista had moved further, placing herself out of arms reach. And had, once again, pulled her box with her.
"Alright. What's this all about, eh?" Vista asked, after he had situated himself.
Remember to breathe. "What are you thinking, Vista."
She blinked, "What am I thinking about what?"
Haldir sighed, "Fine. First you say you have no feelings for me; then you kiss me; and afterwards, whenever I am around, you act like a hunted animal. What is going through your mind, Vista! I want to know! I need to know!" He was shouting by now.
Vista's eyes were wide, "Why do you need to know?" she asked quietly.
He glanced down, trying to regain his composure. When he looked back up, she was still staring at him. But not fearfully, not ever fearfully. No, hers was the face of curiosity and intensity. He stared into her eyes for a long moment before answering.
"Because I need to know if..." breathe, stupid "maybe, there was a chance that..." he faded off. He couldn't say it. Maybe if he didn't, then maybe she would. A childish fear shot through him; that if he spoke it, she would refute it.
Vista arched an eyebrow, "A chance that what?"
Finish it. Finish it while you still have hope.
"A chance that you love me as well."
Vista didn't react for a moment. Then her eyes welled up with tears.
"You...know...I can't do that. I'm sorry, but I just can't."
Haldir couldn't sit still any longer. He jumped off the bed, just needing to move around. Anger coursed down his spine. WHY DOES SHE DO THIS?? his mind screamed. Good question.
"Why do you do this?" he yelled.
She merely tilted her head to the side, regarding him calmly. "Do what?"
Another good question.
He pulled on one of his braids in frustration, "THIS! You refuse my love for you, though I can see that you are not totally devoid of feeling for me! I am not going to hurt you, Vista!! WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF??"
At that, Vista leapt off the bed. She stormed towards him, shaking with anger...or maybe something else.
"You want to know what I'm afraid of?" she shrieked.
"YES!" Haldir shouted back at her. They were standing toe-to-toe now, both angry and ready to fight.
"You want to know what I'm afraid of? Fine, I'll tell you! DEAN SAID THE SAME THING!!" she yelled.
The words rang through the room, reverberating in Haldir's head.
Tears were falling now, "He said he wouldn't hurt me; that he would kill anyone who did." she sniffed, "And he broke that promise. How do I know you won't do the same thing."
As she glared furiously at him through tears, Haldir finally saw what she was talking about. For a long while, he had thought it was merely wounded pride that kept her from returning his feelings. Now, though, he saw the whole picture. Vista had been used by Dean; he'd taken her trust and broken it, along with her heart. Fedoli's words surfaced in his head, "And, by the gods, she's not gonna do it again."
"I'm not Dean. I could never do that to you." he said quietly. He reached out and gently traced the tear-track down her cheek.
She jerked back and slapped his hand away, "Touch me again and I'll kick your ass." she growled.
Still toe-to-toe, they stood glaring at each other for a long moment. Then another. Then Vista's eyes softened slightly, "I know you'd never hurt me."
Her lips twitched into a small smile, "Not intentionally, at least."
Now I'm really confused. "Then, what...?" He began, then trailed off, realizing that he didn't know how he should phrase the question.
Vista looked at him, feeling old and tired. "If I...fall...in love...with you, that's one less piece of home I have. One more reason to stay here, and not go back to my family, back to my life. I can't...because I want my parents to get their daughter back."
She turned away from him, walking over to the window, "I can't stand the thought of them spending the rest of their lives wondering what happened to me. I don't want them to think my body's decomposing in a field somewhere or something."
Vista crossed her arms across her chest, trying to pull herself together. She looked like a child lost in the forest, cold and frightened. He walked over to stand behind her. Then, slowly slid his arms around her waist, giving her time to pull away. She didn't. He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her head and rested his chin on the top. They stayed that way for a while.
"You should go talk to Lady Galadriel again." he murmured.
"Mmm." she muttered, "Don't do that."
Haldir closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of her in his arms, "Don't do what?"
"Don't talk with your chin on my head. Feels really weird."
He chuckled, "Does it now?"
Vista giggled, "Augh, that feels even weirder! Don't laugh, stop laughing!"
Right. Does that ever work...NO! So, soon the both of them were cracking up. After a while, the laughter abated. She still let him hold her, and he had again placed his chin upon her head.
"I think I should go talk to Galadriel again." she said.
"Mmm...good idea."
The laughter started again.
