Part 4-BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

The ICU staff at Pondview Hospital was continuing to work at a fever pitch to get Trixie's heart restarted. First they tried massage which was unsuccessful, then CPR and finally shock. While he was involved in saving the young lady's life, Dr. Wellby kept a worried eye on the clock, realizing that all he had was ten minutes. . . . .

Meanwhile Trixie was walking down a long dark corridor toward a very brilliant white light, drawn to it like a mosquito to a streetlamp. She finally got to the light, a place that had wisps of feathery clouds among the brightest light she had ever seen. She also took note of her attire, she was dressed in a diaphanous white gown that floated about her. Trixie was puzzled as she approached what seemed to be two easy chairs set up like a waiting room. A handsome man in a white suit was sitting in one and he smiled a warm greeting as he gestured to the other chair.

"Ah Trixie! I've been waiting for you. Please sit down."

Trixie remained standing on her guard. "Waiting for me?"

"Yes, my dear. Please have a seat, this is not to harm or frighten you so please." He again gestured and something about him spoke of authority so Trixie did as she was told.

"Pardon me sir, but who are you?" Trixie wanted to know.

The man chuckled, "Of course, how rude of me. I was sent by the Almighty to meet and explain things to you. I'm commonly known as the Angel of Death."

"T-the Angel of Death? Does that mean I'm—dead?" she stammered softly.

The man smiled, "Usually, when I'm called in it does but this is a special case. The Almighty sent me to speak to you about your special task."

"M-my special task?"

"Yes. You see Trixie, everyone is assigned a special task by the Almighty when they're born and it's everyone's duty to complete that task. Everyone has a special duty as a servant to Him."

"I see."

"He gives everyone gifts or talents and it is their job to use those gifts in a way that pleases Him, that promotes Right and helps point others in the direction of Righteousness which is Him."

Trixie nodded digesting everything. She thought about God quite a bit after her father had passed away and she and Speed had often discussed Him. She had even accompanied his family to Sunday services when the team wasn't racing and attended trackside services with Speed at some of the races. It was another thing they had shared, a strong faith, which was why Speed was so adamant about doing the right thing always.

She looked earnestly at the Angel of Death. "You said that this meeting with me was a special case?"

The man nodded, "Let me ask you a question. How are you feeling, Trixie? Are you tired?"

"A little bit," she admitted.

"Ah, no wonder. You've had quite a time. It must have taken quite a bit out of you."

Trixie nodded, "That's true but the Transcontinental Race is what really did me in. Seven straight days of racing, both Speed and I were exhausted. We both were looking forward to our vacation."

"You want to rest though?" the Angel commented.

Trixie yawned, "Oh yes, I'd love to rest. As much as I love and support Speed, racing really wears me out. And I have such a headache from the accident. I'd love to sleep."

"Well, Trixie it's not time to rest. The Almighty feels that you have much more to do with and for Speed. Especially now."

Trixie's eyes widened. "What do you mean, especially now?"

The man sighed, "He's very distraught right now about what has happened. He's getting ready to turn his back on the path set before him."

Trixie's eyes became even wider as she leaned forward. "Why? What happened wasn't his fault. Oh poor Speed!" she exclaimed, her heart constricting in pain for him.

"I know that, you know that, and so does the Almighty but Speed doesn't and right now he's ready to completely turn his back on everything. And that can't happen because it's the will of the Almighty that he continue to race and be a positive role model for young people. And he needs to keep fighting against those whose desire is to do and promote evil. He has a strong will to do right always, there are few in the world like him and the Almighty needs him to keep on."

Trixie asked, "What can I do to help him?"

The Angel smiled, "You need to go back and get well. Right now, he thinks he's losing you and that's making him want throw everything away. You see Trixie, it's your task to stand by him, help and support him. And most importantly, your love sustains him. Once he sees you fighting back and not giving up, he'll regroup and get back on track. He loves you and if you're by his side he'll be focused on his task again."

Trixie nodded, "I completely agree." She glanced around. "How do I get back?"

The Angel smiled broadly as he took her hands and helped her to her feet. "Nothing. Just close your eyes.

Again, Trixie did as she was told. As she had her eyes closed, scenes from the last year on the Go Team flashed in front of her. The Alpine Race and her and Sparky saving Speed's life, the race in Egypt where she saved him from a cobra and he saved her from being burned to death, the time they thwarted the crook Acey Ducey and got Pops plans back, the time Speed's plane crashed in the jungle and when she tried to rescue him she and Spritle got captured and were going to be enlarged and he came to the rescue. And there were others, the time with the GRX when Speed was mentally affected and when the Alpha Team captured him when they thought he was Racer X. Other scenes flew before her, the time they helped the little blind girl, Delicia, the Pineapple Race when they helped the brother and sister to get the operation they needed, and all those cases they helped Inspector Detector. She remembered being jealous when other girls caught his eye but he always made it up to her in some way. And he always seemed to want to protect her, showing his feelings in very concrete ways. She then realized that what the Angel said was true, her task was to stand by Speed, love and support him as he strives to do right.

Dr. Wellby sighed as the nurses and residents assisting him tried once again to perform CPR. He then called for the cardiac shock apparatus and took the two conductors in his hand. The clock showed a minute and a half, this was the last attempt. If she didn't come around this time, she would be declared dead. He placed them on Trixie's chest.

"1-2-3 Clear!" the doctor called as the electric shock went into her chest. He watched the monitor screen and saw the dot jump and the straight tone began to beep, showing that Trixie's heart had begun to beat once more. Dr. Wellby breathed a sigh of relief along with the other staff as they all wearily filed out, their adrenaline gone.

Outside in the parking lot, Speed had calmed down as he and Racer X sat on the hood of the Shooting Star. Racer X turned and studied his little brother to see how he was faring.

"You okay, Speed?"

Speed glanced over at the masked man and replied dully. "Uh-huh. As well as can be expected I guess." He stared ahead with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You know, you need to head back to Trixie's room and find out what happened."

Speed sighed deeply. "Yeah, I know but Racer X, I'm scared to death that I'm gonna go up there and she'll be--"

"Gone?"

Speed closed his eyes as he again felt the sting of tears and nodded wordlessly.

Racer X asked softly, "Would you like me to come with you?"

Speed opened his eyes, gratitude glowing in their cobalt depths. Again he nodded silently.

Racer X hopped off the car and slung an arm around his brother's shoulders. "C'mon kid, let's go see what's gone down." They headed back into the hospital but Speed restrained him.

"Racer X?"

The man turned, "Yeah?"

Speed shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down in shame. "I've been feeling kinda guilty about some things and I wanna talk to you about them, okay?"

Racer X stopped and faced his brother, "Okay, shoot."

Speed took a deep breath, "Sometimes, I-I've been well, kind of big-headed and at times have taken the people that matter most for granted."

Racer X nodded, "Yeah?"

Speed continued, "Especially Trixie. I know she's totally devoted to me and at times I've been sort of a jerk about it. I mean, gawking at girls even when she's right next to me."

Racer X gazed steadily at him. "Speed, you're a guy and all us guys look. But you need to know that when you have the real thing with a special woman, you never make her feel that those you look at are more important than she is. You'll learn as you get older."

"Yeah, but what if it's too late and she's gone? And that's my fault too because if I hadn't tried to adjust the steering the wheel wouldn't have locked and we wouldn't have crashed. I've lost the best thing that's ever happened to me," Speed said in anguish.

Racer X took hold of the young man's shoulders. "Speed, get a hold of yourself. We don't know if she's gone till we go back up there and see for ourselves so let's go." He took Speed's arm and shepherded him to the hospital entrance.

They entered the hospital and walked in the elevator, words at a loss. Speed was silently praying Please, God let her be alive still, please don't take her away from me. I promise I'll never look at another girl again just please, please don't take her away from me.

The elevator door opened and both Racer men approached the nurse's station. Speed asked hesitantly, "Is Trixie Shimura still in room 6?"

The nurse smiled and nodded, "Yes, sir she is."

Speed felt his knees go weak with relief. "C-can I go and see her?"

"Of course, Mr. Racer. You go right ahead."

Speed and Racer X headed down the hall and stopped at the glass sliding door with a "6" over it. Speed slid the door open and the sweetest sound he ever heard was the heart monitor beeping as the dot jumped. He smiled and took his seat near her bed, picking up her hand and holding it in both of his.

"Hiya, baby. I'm so glad you're still with me. I thought I'd lost you," he said brokenly as his tears began to flow.

Racer X looked down at his brother as Speed gently caressed the lovely but still face of the girl in the hospital bed and his heart went out to him. It was quite obvious that Speed was head over heels in love with Trixie and genuinely devastated by her condition. Rex found his own eyes tearing up as he continued to observe Speed's tender way.

Speed continued, "I'm so sorry, Trix. For everything, for taking you for granted and acting like a stupid, arrogant fool. For causing you to doubt me at certain times, I love you so much. And I'm sorry I caused us to crash, I never should've tried to fix the steering." He laid his head down in the bed and was startled when he felt Racer X's hand on his back.

"Take it easy, Speed. I'm sure she knows that you're sorry and that you love her. She's never done anything to make you think otherwise, has she?"

Speed shook his head. "But if she doesn't come out of this and dies it will be my fault. I tried to fix the steering on the Mach 5 and something caused the wheel to lock up."

Racer X answered, "Speed, there are a lot of reasons that the steering could lock. It was an accident, you didn't deliberately fix it so you would crash. And Trixie's a strong and healthy girl, she'll come out of this."

But still steeped in guilt, Speed just continued shaking his head as if he couldn't believe that he didn't have a hand in causing his girlfriend's present condition.

Both Racer men spent the entire day in Trixie's room, by her side silently watching her as the monitor beeped endlessly and the day passed into night. The two barely recognized when nurses came in to take vitals for each 4 hours and when they came in to check and change intravenous bottles. It was about 7:30 in the evening when Racer X had finally convinced Speed to go to the cafeteria with him to get something to eat. He bought Speed a meal but all the young man did was stare at the tray, pushing his fork around.

Racer X quipped as he finished his plate, "The next time I take you out for dinner, I'll bring less cash." He wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Speed sighed, "Sorry, Racer X. I guess I'm just not hungry." He pushed the plate of untouched food aside and propped his chin in his hands, morosely staring ahead.

Racer X leaned back and with arms crossed studied his brother intently. "You're still beating yourself up over this aren't you?"

Speed nodded miserably as Rex continued, "Listen to me, Speed. Cars like all machines can malfunction, sometimes due to human error and sometime simply just because all motor vehicles have moving parts that do wear out. And especially racecars, that are run at high speeds and extreme conditions."

Speed nodded, "I know but—Maybe I'm not cut out to race. I really don't even want to drive the Mach 5 anymore and if Trixie dies—I'll scrap it."

Racer X's eyes widened in the slits of his mask. "You're not serious, Speed. I mean, you can't be!" He was incredulous as he saw the dispassionate expression on Speed's face that affirmed his statement. He tried a different tact. "How would you explain that to your father?"

Speed shrugged indifferently. "He'll have to face my decision. I'm a grown man and I can make my own choices in my life." Racer X chuckled causing Speed to bristle. "What's so funny?"

Racer X shook his head. "Nothing really. It's all quite tragic, that you'd throw a burgeoning career away and you think that makes you a man."

Speed's eyes narrowed as he responded acidly, "And what the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Racer X's smile faded as he regarded his younger brother. "It means that a grown man doesn't throw his dream away even in the light of the greatest loss of his life. And the kicker is that all these plans of yours are premature, based on a great big 'what-if'. That's pretty childish."

Speed pursed his lips as he stared stonily at the masked racer. "You don't understand, Racer X! Trixie's been at my side through this entire year as we entered races and it would just be too painful to continue. Every time I'd get in the Mach 5 I'd hear her voice or smell her perfume. But you've never had a woman that meant that much to you, so why should I expect you to understand."

Now, Racer X's eyes narrowed. He contemplated the young man sitting across from him and answered softly, "And what makes you think I haven't?"

Speed took note at the subtle change in his dinner companion's demeanor and immediately regretted his last comment. But it was too late, the masked man leaned on the table and into Speed's face.

"About five years ago, I had hired a girl to be my navigator named Julie Farrell. She always hung around the track I practiced at and she knew her way around the garage. She was also a superb racer in her own right. And she was the loveliest creature I ever laid my eyes on. Golden hair that hung below her shoulders and eyes the color of a tropical lagoon."

"She sounds like she was gorgeous," Speed commented.

"Indeed she was. But she also was the best navigator I ever had. We spent quite a bit of time together at the track then we began spending time together off the track. One thing led to another and then I gave her my ring and asked her to marry me."

Speed listened intently. "And?"

Racer X's eyes became remote and sad. "One day we were practicing and my car got loose in the turn. We spun and hit the concrete wall on her side and her head hit the wall full impact. I got out of the car and watched as the medical team at the track extracted her from the car and we rushed her to the hospital but it was for nothing, she had died instantly with a broken neck."

Speed lowered his head in shame and said contritely, "I'm sorry, Racer X."

"For six months after Julie died I was devastated. I didn't even want to see a racecar, let alone drive one. I had pretty much cut myself off from everyone and everything. Then one day as I wallowed in my sorrow, I heard Julie's voice speaking to me and she told me that just because she was gone didn't mean I should throw my dream of racing away, that I could go on and race for us both. So I got myself together and headed back to the track and now every race I run, I do it for me and for Julie."

Speed sat quietly and reflected on the story Racer X had just shared with him. The masked racer went on quietly, "No matter what tragedies happen in our lives, none of us can escape our destinies."

"And racing is yours?"

Racer X nodded, "As it is yours. Speed, no matter what happens with Trixie, your destiny is to race for you possess what everyone in this profession aspires to but only few can lay claim to, a true racer's soul."

Speed sat there stunned by the statement. A racer's soul. It made sense, he always felt one with the Mach 5 from the time his father finished building it and presented it to him. It was a car but it was more, it was a companion and the freedom he felt at the wheel was like God had gifted him with wings and he was soaring like an eagle in the firmament. He sighed as he faced the fact, as deeply and profoundly as he loved Trixie, if she were to be taken from him and he had to go on, he would go on pursuing his dream and destiny, racing in the Mach 5. True it would never be the same without her beside him but she would be permanently in his heart and with him always. He suddenly felt ready to face whatever lay ahead.

Speed rose slowly to his feet and offered his hand to Racer X. "Racer X, thank you. I don't know what lies ahead but I know that whatever it is, I can and will face it."

Racer X took Speed's hand and shook it. "I know you will." He and Speed headed out of the cafeteria and to the elevator. He turned to head out but before he did, he said, "Just remember Speed, it's always darkest before the dawn." Before Speed could respond, he strode to the exit and disappeared.