Part 6-NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET
Home. It had been good to be at home for a while. Mom and Pops both were up when Speed crept wearily in. Mom had leapt up from where she was having morning coffee with Pops at the kitchen table as Speed came in the kitchen.
"Oh Speed, son it's so good to see you!" She embraced her middle child as he laid his head on her shoulder and returned the hug, releasing all his pent up emotion. Pops got up and patted Speed's back as he sought comfort from his parents.
He finally pulled away, wiping the moisture from his tired eyes. Pops regarded his son kindly and asked, "How is Trixie?"
Speed sank into a kitchen chair and sighed, "She came to just a little while ago. But we almost lost her last night, she went into cardiac arrest. And she's gotta have tests tomorrow to see if she needs the surgery"
"Oh!" Mom exclaimed. "Why didn't you call us. Speedy? We'd have come down and made sure you weren't alone."
Speed shook his head. "I didn't think of it. Anyway Racer X was there and he stayed with me all the while."
"Well, that was awfully nice of him," Pops commented but Mom Racer studied her son thoughtfully. Hmmm, that sounds just like something Rex would do if he were around, stay right by Speedy's side, helping him. She then remembered how Rex always watched over his little brother when they were outside playing, watching out and making sure that the other boys in the neighborhood wouldn't pick on his baby brother. Racer X always seems to be around when Speed needs someone, I wonder. . . .
Her attention was immediately drawn to her middle son who folded his arms on the kitchen table and laid his head down, completely exhausted. Mom Racer shook herself out of her reverie and took charge.
"All right, Speed, you need to go to bed. Now," she said crisply, practically pulling him up by his shoulders. He rose slowly without protest as she shepherded him toward the stairs. There a sleepy eyed Spritle met them as he was descending with Chim Chim in tow. His chocolate eyes widened as he viewed Speed.
"Speedy! You're home! How's Trixie?" the precocious youngster bombarded his older sibling with questions but his mother turned and shushed him with a finger on her lips without breaking stride.
"Spritle, leave your brother alone. He hasn't slept in three days and needs to go to bed. You can ask him about Trixie later." Her tone brooked no argument as she guided her second born to his room.
Spritle watched as they climbed the stairs. He turned to Pops who was watching from the kitchen and looked up at him beseechingly. "Pops, is Speedy going to be okay?"
Pops smiled down at his youngest. "I hope so, son." He sighed worriedly.
It was after 4 in the afternoon when the elevator door opened and a rested, freshly showered and shaved Speed walked out and made his way to Trixie's room carrying a bouquet of white roses. He peeked in the glass door before entering just to reassure himself that she was still there and became alarmed when he saw her bed was empty but then laughed shakily as he remembered that she was probably having tests like the doctor had said earlier. He slid the door open and stepped in placing the roses on her nightstand.
Speed scanned the room and was amazed by how familiar it felt. True, he still despised hospitals but having spent the better part of 72 hours within the portals of the room, it felt almost homelike. He asked the nurse's aide to find a vase for the roses and he placed them in there and put them back on the nightstand while he waited for Trixie to return.
Speed had just sat in his chair by Trixie's bed when the glass door to the room opened and two orderlies pushed a stretcher in bearing his girlfriend into the room and toward the side of the bed. They gently lifted her and placed her on the bed under the watchful, wary gaze of the coal-haired racer who got to his feet to supervise the proceeding. They reached to spread the sheet on her but finding their attentiveness toward his girl irritating even though it was their job, Speed took the sheet out of their hands.
"That's okay, fellas. I'll take care of that," Speed insisted, his eyes pinning the men as they looked at him inquiringly. They then glanced at each other as they saw Speed cover Trixie carefully with the sheet and then shrugged as they left.
Trixie eyed Speed askance and remarked, "Taking control of the wheel again, huh Speed?"
Speed grinned at her and leaned down for a kiss, "Old habits are hard to break. So where'd they take you?"
Trixie pushed herself up. "I had another x-ray and a CAT scan. They also took some blood. Honestly I thought I was a pin cushion." She sighed tiredly as she pressed her temples. "I really don't care what they have to do as long as they find what's giving me this headache. I feel like my head's gonna explode."
Speed reached over and stroked her cheek. "I'm sorry, baby. Is there something I can do?"
Trixie shook her head miserably. Then Speed got an idea. He sat up on the bed right beside her and took her in his arms so she was reclining with her head on his right shoulder.
She looked up at him and said, "Not that I mind, but what are you doing?"
Speed smiled down at her. "You'll see." He reached his right arm around her shoulders, cradling her and brought his right hand up to her right temple and his left hand to her left. He then began to massage her temples with his fingertips in slow, rhythmic circles. "How's that feel?" he asked softly.
"Hmmm, just wonderful," Trixie replied as she snuggled closer, resting her cheek against his while he continued his ministrations. "Maybe you missed your calling, you should be a therapist."
Speed chuckled, "Yeah, if you were my only patient."
The door slid open and Dr. Wellby entered. He gave a wry smile as startled, Speed extricated himself gently but rapidly and got off Trixie's bed. "Hiya, doctor," he said with a sheepish look.
The doctor nodded with a slight smile. "Sorry to have interrupted you, but I have the results of your tests, Trixie."
Both Trixie and Speed waited as the doctor cleared his throat and continued, "Well, it's like we've thought all along, the headaches are the result of the bleeding in your dura right behind your left ear. The medications have stopped most of it but there's a place in the dura right behind your ear that is still bleeding. Has the codeine taken the edge off the pain?"
Trixie sighed, "Not really."
Dr. Wellby went on, "Then I'll prescribe something a little stronger but I'm scheduling you for surgery tomorrow at 9 AM."
Speed asked, "Is that necessary, doctor?"
"It is if we want to get rid of the pain." He turned to Trixie, "Do you have any other symptoms?"
She nodded, "A little blurred vision but it's not continuous." Speed's eyes widened in concern at this revelation as he sat down beside the bed.
The doctor nodded, "Okay, then. You'll be prepped for surgery tomorrow at 8:30 and be brought to the OR at 9. Have a good evening and if the pain gets worse, let the desk know." He left the room.
Speed studied Trixie intently. "So you're having blurred vision. Why didn't you tell me?"
Trixie pushed herself up slowly and with stiffness. "I didn't want to worry you," she said feebly.
Speed took a deep breath to expel his annoyance. "I'm already worried about you, Trixie. Keeping things like that from me isn't going to make me worry less," he admonished.
She lowered her lashes and whispered, "I'm sorry. Speed. I didn't mean to make you mad."
Speed leaned closely to her. "I'm not mad. It's just that I happen to care deeply about everything concerning you and when you don't tell me it, well, it hurts," he said softly.
Trixie reached and ran her hand across his forehead, brushing his hair back. "Oh Speed, I'd never, ever want to hurt you. I just saw what this whole thing has done to you and I didn't want to add to your burdens." She turned her head away in shame but he captured her chin in his hand and gently turned it back to face him.
"Listen, baby. I want you to know something. You are not now nor have you ever been a burden to me. Don't you know that you're the light of my life? And whatever and I mean whatever affects you, I want and need to know about. Okay?" He probed her with his ocean eyes sparkling with his heart burning in their depths.
She smiled and nodded, "Okay." She then grasped his hand with both of hers and held it against her cheek until she drifted off to sleep.
Speed watched her as his heart pounded with the strength of all his love. Trixie was the one who always stood by him and backed him up to the hilt no matter what, now it was his turn, nothing would take him from her side while she went through this ordeal. He continued caressing her as he gazed at her slumbering, studying her and taking inventory of every beloved inch of her beauty. He remained in that position until visiting hours were up and realizing that he'd be back early the next morning before her operation, he reluctantly left.
The next morning, it was 8 AM when Speed came back to Trixie's room. She was lying in the bed with a look of trepidation on her pretty face that temporarily disappeared when she saw her smiling boyfriend's handsome face. She sought refuge from her rising fear by losing herself in his ocean blue eyes which as always were drawing her into their depths. She reached out her arms for an embrace and he immediately responded, enfolding her slender body and holding her slightly quaking form close to his heart.
"Speed, I'm scared," Trixie said timidly feeling shamed by the fact.
He cradled her head against his broad shoulder. "Don't be, baby. Everything's gonna be fine. Just hang in there."
Speed and Trixie remained locked in each other's arms until 8:30 when the door slid open and an orderly and nurse with the anesthesiologist entered and addressed the young couple.
"Well, it's that time, Trixie," the doctor announced as he stepped toward the bed.
Trixie eyed Speed with a shaky smile. "I guess this is it."
Trixie gave Speed a quick good-bye kiss and hug as he drew away to step aside for the hospital personnel to place her on the gurney. She held up her hand in a thumbs up gesture--the Go Team's okay sign and Speed returned it with a wink as she was rolled away. He then accompanied her as they rolled her in then headed to the waiting room for the OR.
When he got there, Speed saw Mom, Pops, Spritle, and Sparky along with Racer X. The sight of his family gathered there in the waiting room was truly a sight for sore eyes and Speed was filled with gratitude as he addressed them.
"Gee, it's groovy to see all of you here."
Mom Racer smiled as she embraced her son. "Did you honestly think we wouldn't be here? You're not the only one who loves Trixie, she's like family."
Pops nodded, "That's right, Speed. We're gonna be right here with you waiting for Trixie to come out. She's going to be fine, son."
Speed just nodded with a weak smile and sat down. His mother sat beside him and Speed gazed at her gratefully. The family being here and supporting him meant the world to him. Last night when he arrived at home, he told his parents what the doctor had told him and Trixie bout her test results. He also told them about her headaches and blurred vision. He had completely broken down before Mom and Pops, his fear and worry apparent. They had insisted that he get some rest and assured him that they would be at the hospital. So they kept their promise.
Spritle approached his big brother hesitantly. "H-hey Speedy?"
Speed smiled at his baby brother. "Yeah, Spritle?"
Spritle came right to Speed's side. He handed him a little Mexican doll, the same one he had handed him during the Alpine race when the team had just rescued him. "I brought my good luck charm to give you for today. Just like the Alpine race when he helped you, he'll help you today."
Speed took the little figure with the painted smiling face grinning up at him. It was still a bit scuffed up from its ordeal during that race but he remembered when he had lost his sight, how when he found that little talisman he found the Mach 5 and with Racer X's help, he was able to go on and win the race. He reached and hugged Spritle.
"I remember, pal. Thanks a lot." Speed cradled the tiny figurine in his hands and smoothed the doll's miniature serape with his fingers absently as he thought about Trixie and how she had saved his life during that race with her helicopter when he was sliding down the icy hill. Later as Sparky was fixing the brakes that had failed, Trixie and Spritle had gotten into a bit of a tussle and she ran to him for protection. He had held her close while scolding Spritle and when Spritle had demanded what was going on, they had gotten embarrassed by the very public display of their very private feelings. He had then scooped Trixie up in a fit of pique and tossed her not so gently into the helicopter along with Spritle to quiet them down and he was now remembering the whole incident with regret because he could have been gentler with her. She as always, was quick to forgive and never mentioned it but now he was feeling remorse for his behavior while she was now in the operating room fighting for her life.
With a sigh, Speed got up and paced restlessly in the waiting room, stopping at the window and staring out as his thoughts again held him captive.
Oh Trixie, I wish I could turn back the clock. I'd have never tried to fix
the steering and I'd do so many things different over the last year, and I have
to admit there are times when I wasn't a very good boyfriend. I kind of took
your devotion to me for granted and wasn't even nice to you. You're a jewel,
sweetheart, and there have been times I've treated you like glass. Forgive me,
baby, I'm just such an utter and complete fool at times, with tunnel vision,
oblivious to those around me and especially with you. You're such an exemplary,
fantastic person, always thinking of others before yourself, I should use you
as an example of what I should aspire to be. I admit I want to be a hero some
times and that makes me forgetful of you but I want to say that the old saying
"Behind every good man there's a woman" is especially appropriate here.
Without you behind me, I doubt I could've done half the heroic things I've gotten
credit and notoriety for.
Speed stood at the window with his shoulders slumped, deep in his thoughts for hours when a hand landed on his shoulder causing him to turn and come face to face with his older brother.
"C'mon, let's go for a walk." Racer X said persuasively as he pulled Speed away.
As they walked past Mom Racer as she held Spritle, she studied the enigmatic man and there was something so familiar about his stature and stride that her heart caught. He's so attentive of Speed and concerned about his welfare, just like Rex would be she told herself if he could be here.
"Mommy?" Spritle's summons brought her back and she glanced questioningly at her youngest. "Racer X is a real good friend of Speedy's isn't he?"
"Yes, darling, he is." Mom smiled at Spritle and then gazed thoughtfully at the portal that the two young men had exited through. She was filled with the feeling that she had just witnessed her two older sons walk by.
Speed and Racer X strode out on the sundeck where the patients and their families could enjoy a breath of fresh air. They both sat down and silently contemplated the immaculately landscaped grounds below while their minds whirled with what was taking place in the operating room and the fragile girl presently under the knife. Speed was picturing Trixie as she always was, her musical laughter and sweet voice echoing in his ears as her pretty face floated in his mind. But Racer X's thoughts were on Speed and his burden and his own heart constricted in pain for what his brother was going through. He had always liked Trixie from the first time he saw her come and congratulate Speed on winning a race and would be proud one day to call her his sister-in-law. She was a real asset to Speed, smart, unafraid, and beautiful.
Speed sighed deeply as he commented, "You really didn't have to come and sit with me, Racer X. I'm sure you've got more important things to do."
Racer X grinned, "Nonsense, Speed. I'm glad to be here with you. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Just worried about Trixie. The fact that they're operating on the base of her head's got me kind of uptight." Speed got to his feet and began to pace again.
"Relax, she'll be okay. She needs the surgery to stop the bleeding, right? So just take it easy."
Speed snorted, "Yeah, easier said than done. My heart hasn't stopped pounding since they came in and took her this morning." He sighed again as he retook his seat, staring morosely into the distance.
Racer X leaned forward "Putting yourself in a state over it isn't going to make the operation go faster."
Speed grunted as he continued staring at nothing. He just wasn't in a mood for common sense right now. He began in a faraway voice, "Y'know Racer X when I was a kid, I never thought that I'd have to deal with half the crap and garbage I deal with. All I thought I'd do was drive race cars and win races."
Racer X chuckled, "We seldom find our lives to be what we'd imagined them to be when we're kids. Then, the whole world's our oyster and nothing's impossible." He added wryly, "Then we grow up."
"Yeah. Since all of this happened I feel like I've aged twenty years," Speed remarked. He hung his head as he leaned on the bar of the balcony.
Racer X studied his younger brother. Speed still looked very young yet there was a weariness to him that made him look somewhat older and disillusioned with a bleakness to his eyes. Racer X got to his feet and placed a comforting hand on the youth's shoulder.
"Look, Speed I know that you're still beating yourself up about this whole fiasco but you need to just let it go. It's past and you need to go forward."
Speed opened his mouth to protest but Racer X had had enough of his brother's self-imposed martyrdom and decided to shake him out of it. He took Speed by the shoulders and his eyes bore into him. "You need to grow up, Speed! Trixie's going to need you to be strong as she recuperates and the more you wallow in the self-recrimination for your past mistakes, the less likely you'll be able to accomplish that. Be a man, for crying out loud!"
Speed pulled himself back from the masked racer and glowered, "You sound just like my father! Be a man, be a man! Well, I am a man, damnit and I resent you saying I'm not! I'm accepting my responsibility for putting my girl's life in jeopardy, and that's being a man."
"No it's not. A man lives up to his responsibilities and rights his wrongs then goes on. He doesn't dwell on his shortcomings or mistakes, he tries to find out how to correct them, does and goes forward. You can't put your hand to the plow and look back," Racer X reasoned. He continued, "Remember I said it's always darkest before the dawn? Well, as dawn is the sign of a new day and a new beginning let yourself see this as a dawn or new beginning for you and Trixie. Either that or keep mentally pounding yourself about things that you can't change and stay mired in the past. It's your choice." He walked away.
Speed whirled around and stared ahead angrily brooding. What was more maddening was that Racer X was absolutely right, as usual. He needed to get beyond the self-blame and make things right, go forward and make sure history, in his case, does not repeat itself. He vowed to cherish the rare and priceless relationship with Trixie that he had and make it better. With fresh resolve, he turned to leave the terrace when he saw Sparky heading in his direction with an anxious expression on his features. Speed felt the cold fingers of dread clutch at his spine as his mechanic drew near.
"Speed, c'mon. Trixie's out of surgery and she's asking for you. Everyone's in her room," he panted.
Speed needed no further convincing. He sprinted back into the hospital with Sparky bringing up the rear.
Back in Trixie's room she was just coming around, groggy and disoriented but with it enough to ask several times for Speed. Mom, Pops and Spritle were gathered around her bed.
"W-where's Speed?"
Mom Racer leaned forward. "He's coming, Trixie dear. He had stepped out for some air but Sparky went to get him."
Pops asked gently, "How are you feeling, honey?"
Trixie moaned softly, "Tired but okay I guess."
Just then, the door slid open and Speed and Sparky stepped in. Speed came forward slowly with an affectionate smile. "How ya doin', baby?"
Trixie managed an exhausted smile and lifted her left hand in a thumbs up. Speed reached and grasped her hand as he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. Everybody else filed quietly out as the two locked eyes.
"I'm glad it's over," she whispered.
Speed nodded as he was overcome with joy. "Me too." He leaned down and hugged her close.
