Note: ~ ~ flashback
// // thoughts
Akira groaned, his head pulsating in pain. The room was dark except for the soft
light that filtered in through the drawn shades, but even that was too bright. He flung his
arm across his face, shielding his eyes. He really had to go to the bathroom, but he didn't
want to move. BAD THINGS would happen if he moved. But despite his protests, his
bladder was persistent. Touya sighed heavily in frustration as he flung the covers off the
bed. He was surprised to see that, except for his shoes, he was still wearing his clothes
from the previous night. //How did I get here?// he wondered lazily.
He remembered clearly that he had been with Shindo and Saitou-san in that bar.
And he could recall drinking a lot of tea, but things grew hazy after that. He vaguely
remembered there were some men and..... they were laughing.... Then Shindo
was leading him by the wrist ... and Akira did something ......something he
shouldn't have.....And somehow they ended up on the ground and Touya could
remember thinking how good Hikaru smelled and how soft his hair felt as it brushed
against his cheek. And then.... and then....
~Hikaru, I like you.~
His breath caught in his chest as the memory flooded into his mind. Did he....
Did he actually say that?!?! Touya's eyes widened in apprehension. No! No! He may
have thought that but he never NEVER would have said it out loud, and certainly not to
Shindo.
Damn it! He didn't have any sake; how did the hell did this happen?!?! Akira
wondered furiously as he swung his legs off the bed and sat up, an act that he
immediately regretted as he felt the blood rush painfully to his head. The green haired pro
groaned miserably as his stomach lurched and the room began to spin violently. He
steadied himself on the bed and waited for the room and his traitorous stomach to settle.
Maybe if he didn't say anything about it Hikaru would just pass off his confession as the
rantings of an intoxicated lunatic. Besides, Touya might not have even said anything at
all. That would be embarrassing, to explain a confession that never took place. The best
thing to do was not to talk about it unless Shindo brought it up. Akira groaned again. He
couldn't think about Shindo right now. His body was committing mutiny and just getting
to the bathroom without falling over would require all his strength and concentration.
It wasn't until he was halfway across the room that Touya noticed the soft light
creeping out from beneath the bathroom door. //Is Shindo in there?// he wondered,
flushing furiously. The thought made his heart pound. Talking to Hikaru was the last
thing he wanted to do. God only knew what he had said last night and Touya wasn't
prepared to find out just yet. Briefly the thought of groping his way back to his bed and
pretending to be asleep until the other boy left flickered in his mind The thought was a
fleeting one though because as he prepared to turn around the bathroom door swung open,
casting a harsh glare across the green haired boy's already sensitive eyes.
"Ahhhh!" he cried in pain as he flung out an arm to shield his face.
"Touya?!?!" Shindo exclaimed, quickly turning off the lights. "What are you
doing out of bed?"
"Shhh! Not so loud!" he winced.
"Sorry!" Hikaru said, whispering this time. "What are you doing out of bed?" he
repeated softly. Akira felt his cheeks begin to burn behind his arm.
"I have to use the bathroom. Do you have a problem with that?" he replied
harshly, still in pain from the light. He cringed inwardly. He hadn't meant to sound so
irritable. But maybe Shindo would take the hint and leave him alone. No such luck.
"Oh," the other boy answered back, completely oblivious of the edge in his
friend's voice. "I was afraid you were going to puke again."
Akira mouth dropped open, mortified. //I threw up? In front of Shindo?! Just how
drunk was I last night anyway?//
He was about to ask but the words caught in his throat as he removed the arm that
shielded his face and looked at his companion. Shindo was standing in the doorway
completely naked except for the towel that clung loosely around his waist. Touya
swallowed hard as his eyes traced the small beads of water that trickled down the smooth
flat stomach and disappeared under the folds of cloth. He felt something deep inside him
begin to swell.
"Are you going to move, or do you want me to go right here?" Akira snapped
suddenly. The other boy jumped, startled by his friend's words. Even Hikaru had to
notice the hostility in Touya's voice. Quickly he stepped aside and let him pass.
//Damn it! What the hell was I thinking?!?!// Akira asked himself furiously as he
entered the bathroom and shut the door. Shindo was a guy! He ran a nervous hand
through his hair and sat down at the base of the tub. //Why did that idiot have to be here?
Why is he making me....// Touya sighed as let his face fall into his hands. It wasn't
Shindo's fault and he knew it. The other boy just didn't understand. He couldn't
understand...
Touya exhaled morosely as he washed his hands in the sink a few minutes later,
having accomplished what he originally set out to do. It wasn't Shindo's fault. It was
his ..... he shouldn't have snapped at him like that but ..... the green haired pro
couldn't help it. He couldn't control himself, or his emotions. And that made him angry.
"Are you okay, Touya?" Hikaru asked as his friend emerged from the bathroom,
the worry in his voice almost palpable.
"Fine," Akira replied curtly as he saw the other boy sitting on the bed, now fully
dressed. Touya wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. "What time is it?" he
asked as he sat down on his own bed, trying in vain to expel the unwanted thoughts from
his mind.
"Almost seven," Shindo replied casually. Akira shot up in surprise, and
immediately fell back down again as a surge of nausea and pain overwhelmed him.
"Touya! Calm down!" Shindo cried as her reached over to steady his friend.
"Seven?" the green haired pro repeated dumbly, his head swooning.
"Geeze Touya, relax! I covered for you" the blonde assured his rival. Akira
blinked in surprise.
"What?"
"What do you mean 'what'?" came the reply. "I told everyone you had a stomach
virus and you were resting. Don't worry. I took over your station so you could sleep."
"What did you do that for?!?!" Akira shouted furiously. It hurt to yell but he
didn't care. "You should have woken me up! I could have played, baka!"
" 'Baka'!?!?" Shindo shouted back indignantly, his face bright with anger. "Last
night you get totally wasted and attack me! Then I do you a favor by covering for
you and instead of saying 'thanks' like a normal person you're giving me crap!?!?!"
Akira opened his mouth to reply then snapped shut it again.
Shindo was right.
He should have been grateful that Hikaru let him rest. He felt horrible as it was,
if he had shown up at work today he would have felt at least ten times worse. And he had
been acting like a complete ass since he woke up.
"I'm sorry," he said softly as he bowed his head. "You're right. I put you through
a lot of trouble last night and... Thank you for letting me rest."
Hikaru blinked.
"Y..... You're welcome," he answered dazedly, caught off guard by his
opponent's sudden change of heart. Hikaru looked at his friend and sighed. He shouldn't
have blamed last night on Touya. Sure he had done some pretty stupid things, but he was
only there in the first place because Shindo dragged him along. And Akira did have a
point, the blonde admitted to himself grudgingly. He could have woken him up. Touya
was a professional and Hikaru knew he would have forced himself to go to the
convention hangover or not. But..... it felt nice to be able to do him a favor. After all,
Touya had been putting up with Hikaru for years now and he never really complained.
Ok, so that was a lie but he had never gotten really upset with him either.
"There's some aspirin and a glass of water over on the table," Hikaru said gently,
indicating the nightstand nearby.
"....Thanks"
"What are friends for, right?" he replied lightly. Touya flashed him a weak smile
as he put the pills in his mouth and swallowed.
"Have you eaten yet?" Akira asked almost hesitantly.
"Um... well not yet," the other boy admitted, and as if to prove this point his
stomach let out a loud grumble. Both boys grinned shyly at each other.
"Let me take you out, my treat" Akira said, still smiling "As a thank you."
"How about as an apology?" Hikaru replied, noting that his friend already seemed
to have conveniently forgotten that he owed him one. Touya glared. "A Thank you is
good too though."
************************************************************************
Touya sighed as he sat in front of his meal. Ramen again. //How much ramen can
one person eat?// he wondered in amazement as he watched the boy across from him
shovel yet another mouthful of the stuff onto his chopsticks. Shindo was already on his
third bowl. //This can't be healthy// the prodigy thought, almost hypnotized by the sheer
speed with which Shindo was able to consume food. //He can't possibly be human.//
"Thish ish really goo', " he said looking up from his bowl for the first time since
they sat down. He smiled at his friend, noticing that he was barely half way through his
first bowl. Akira smiled back, noodles hanging out of his mouth. It was disgusting really.
Shindo snorted, pieces of his own meal shooting from his mouth as he tried in vain to
choke back his laughter.
"Shindo! That's disgusting!" Touya said in mock horror. Hikaru replied by
sending a piece of carrot bouncing off Akira's head. The two old women beside them
glared. Slightly subdued, Touya poked at his ramen some more and Shindo, smiling,
shoved another mouthful onto his chopsticks .
"I swear, Myami said she saw a hat-wearing ghost loitering outside of that shrine
on 42nd Street." Touya heard the woman beside him say after she had finished glaring at
the pros.
"You mean the Honinbo Shrine?" her friend asked curiously.
"Yeah, I guess so," came the reply. "I swear that woman gets crazier and crazier
every year...."
"Are you alright, Shindo" Akira asked, concerned. His friend had suddenly
stopped eating and he was staring at the two women sitting beside them. His face had
gone pale.
"Sai...." The blonde whispered and without another warning he jumped up
from the table, knocking his bowl of ramen over in the process. "I have to go," he
shouted as he ran out the door.
"What?! Where?!" his friend yelled after him in surprise. Getting up quickly
Touya riffled through his wallet, threw the money for the ramen down on the table and
followed after his rival.
Hikaru sprinted down the street, weaving in and out of the crowd and
knocking into people without so much as a muffled 'excuse me'. Touya, who
rarely did anything but play go, was finding it extremely difficult to keep up his friend's
frantic pace. For nearly eight blocks he followed the blonde haired boy, but he knew
where he was headed: The Honinbo Shrine. It was common knowledge that Hikaru had
some sort of fixation with Honinbo, but what was it that woman had said had caused the
him to run out so suddenly? //Why are you running, Shindo?// Touya thought to himself
as he anxiously ran after his friend. Finally Shindo stopped. They had reached the shrine.
Pausing in front of its doors, Hikaru stared up at the sign that hung above them.
"Sai...." He whispered again as he ran into the building leaving a breathless
Touya gasping on the sidewalk. Akira, exhausted from the run, followed after his friend
slowly. Shindo was pacing all over the room, looking frantic. Completely confused,
Akira stood on the threshold, watching as his rival continued to search the building
wildly.
An hour later Shindo finally gave up.
"Sai..." he said sadly "I thought maybe...." But he didn't continue.
"Shindo?" Akira asked hesitantly.
"Huh?"
"What were you looking for?"
"It - it doesn't matter. He's not here anyway. I knew he wasn't here but I had to
make sure...." Hikaru's voice sounded hollow as he said the words. Listening to it,
something in Akira's chest began to ache.
"Who?" he asked softly.
"It doesn't matter anymore, Touya." Shindo replied. Akira nodded. If Hikaru
wanted to tell him, he would tell him. If he didn't there was no point trying to force it out
of him. "Let's just go back to the hotel," he said.
The walk from the Shrine to the hotel was made in silence; Shindo giving no
explanation for his sudden behavior and Akira asking for none. It was a long walk,
though not so long as it had seemed before. The two strolled side by side but they weren't
really walking together. Hikaru's gaze never left the sidewalk as they made their way
back to the hotel and Touya's never left Shindo. When they got back to the hotel room
the blonde haired pro didn't say a word, but simply sat down on his bed and stared at the
wall lifelessly.
"Shindo?" Akira asked, concerned.
"Yeah?" he replied, looking up at his rival. Touya swallowed hard as he looked
into the soft gray eyes. There was a sadness there that was almost too deep to
comprehend. Seeing him suffering that way, the dull ache that had formed in Akira's
chest exploded into a sharp agonizing pain.
"Let's play a game." He said, willing his voice to stay calm and not quite
succeeding.
Hikaru blinked. "Sure," he said numbly.
It was the only thing Touya could think of. He couldn't bare to see the anguish in those
eyes. He didn't know what had caused it but Touya was sure that, for a while at
least, he could help Shindo forget his pain.
"Nigiri"
Hikaru won black.
"Please," they said in unison as they began to play and both Shindo and Touya
found themselves being drawn into the designs they created on the go board;
forgetting that a world existed beyond the boundaries of the goban and their game. For
hours they played, black and white stones battling fiercely as they formed intricate
patterns across the board, melting into one another and reshaping each other in turn. On
the goban there was no confusion; there were no misunderstandings. A person's go told
you all you needed to know, it revealed their soul . Questions asked with stones were
answered in turn. On the goban men were gods, creating and destroying galaxies with a
single hand. And here Touya and Shindo were equals.
"It's you," Akira whispered as Hikaru put his last stone in place, three hours later.
"Huh?" his opponent replied. For hours the only noise to fill the room had been
the soft 'pachi' of their stones and their voices sounded harsh in contrast.
"It's you," he repeated again, louder this time.
"Who else would it be?" Hikaru asked almost indignantly, his pain forgotten in
the battle.
"I mean it's the old you" the green haired boy replied softly "The one who played
me that first game...." Hikaru looked at his rival, shock and sadness mingling across
his face.
"That -- that wasn't me," he said looking down after a long moment, his bangs
falling in front of his face. "That was..." his voice trailed off.
"But it is you," Touya replied. "It's your go. Your go is what you are." Akira said
softly as he stared at the game they had just played. There was a striking, almost
terrifying beauty to the intertwined pearl and ebony designs etched out across the board
and he felt a thrilling heat in his stomach as he studied what he and Shindo had created.
Only Hikaru, only Hikaru could answer Akira in this way. He looked across the go board
at his rival and his equal, unable to see his face through the thick shroud of hair. But the
veil could not hide the tear from Touya as it struck the goban.
Shindo was crying.
"Shindo? Shindo, what's wrong?" he asked, but there was no response. The
blonde haired boy just sat there staring at the floor, tears streaming from his eyes.
//Idiot!// Touya silently berated himself. His plan had worked. It had worked!
Hikaru had forgotten his pain but.... but something Touya said reminded him of it.
"Shindo, why are you crying?" he asked again, the worry in his voice was
beginning to turn into panic. In all the years they had known each other, Touya had never
seen Hikaru cry. It was terrifying.
"Answer me!!!" he yelled, his voice shaking. But the other boy made no reply. He
just continued to sit there, crying silently. Touya didn't know what to do. He only knew
that he needed to reach Shindo. Sliding the goban that separated them away, Touya
inched closer to the crying boy kneeling before him.
"Shindo, please..." He pleaded, bending lower as he gently cupped his rival's
face in his hands, but it was no use. There was nothing he could say to erase the anguish
in those eyes. There were no words that could make Hikaru understand that his pain hurt
the other boy too, that every moment he suffered a part of Akira died. There was nothing
he could say that could make the tears stop coming. So Akira didn't say anything. Instead
he leaned down and gently brushed Hikaru's lips against his own.
Shindo stopped crying.
**** Um... This was a little longer than I meant it to be... a little heavier on the angst too. Sorry. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!! I've never written a fanfic before, so I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing. Criticize to you're heart's content! I really appreciate the feed back! Thank you!!!!!! :D*************
// // thoughts
Akira groaned, his head pulsating in pain. The room was dark except for the soft
light that filtered in through the drawn shades, but even that was too bright. He flung his
arm across his face, shielding his eyes. He really had to go to the bathroom, but he didn't
want to move. BAD THINGS would happen if he moved. But despite his protests, his
bladder was persistent. Touya sighed heavily in frustration as he flung the covers off the
bed. He was surprised to see that, except for his shoes, he was still wearing his clothes
from the previous night. //How did I get here?// he wondered lazily.
He remembered clearly that he had been with Shindo and Saitou-san in that bar.
And he could recall drinking a lot of tea, but things grew hazy after that. He vaguely
remembered there were some men and..... they were laughing.... Then Shindo
was leading him by the wrist ... and Akira did something ......something he
shouldn't have.....And somehow they ended up on the ground and Touya could
remember thinking how good Hikaru smelled and how soft his hair felt as it brushed
against his cheek. And then.... and then....
~Hikaru, I like you.~
His breath caught in his chest as the memory flooded into his mind. Did he....
Did he actually say that?!?! Touya's eyes widened in apprehension. No! No! He may
have thought that but he never NEVER would have said it out loud, and certainly not to
Shindo.
Damn it! He didn't have any sake; how did the hell did this happen?!?! Akira
wondered furiously as he swung his legs off the bed and sat up, an act that he
immediately regretted as he felt the blood rush painfully to his head. The green haired pro
groaned miserably as his stomach lurched and the room began to spin violently. He
steadied himself on the bed and waited for the room and his traitorous stomach to settle.
Maybe if he didn't say anything about it Hikaru would just pass off his confession as the
rantings of an intoxicated lunatic. Besides, Touya might not have even said anything at
all. That would be embarrassing, to explain a confession that never took place. The best
thing to do was not to talk about it unless Shindo brought it up. Akira groaned again. He
couldn't think about Shindo right now. His body was committing mutiny and just getting
to the bathroom without falling over would require all his strength and concentration.
It wasn't until he was halfway across the room that Touya noticed the soft light
creeping out from beneath the bathroom door. //Is Shindo in there?// he wondered,
flushing furiously. The thought made his heart pound. Talking to Hikaru was the last
thing he wanted to do. God only knew what he had said last night and Touya wasn't
prepared to find out just yet. Briefly the thought of groping his way back to his bed and
pretending to be asleep until the other boy left flickered in his mind The thought was a
fleeting one though because as he prepared to turn around the bathroom door swung open,
casting a harsh glare across the green haired boy's already sensitive eyes.
"Ahhhh!" he cried in pain as he flung out an arm to shield his face.
"Touya?!?!" Shindo exclaimed, quickly turning off the lights. "What are you
doing out of bed?"
"Shhh! Not so loud!" he winced.
"Sorry!" Hikaru said, whispering this time. "What are you doing out of bed?" he
repeated softly. Akira felt his cheeks begin to burn behind his arm.
"I have to use the bathroom. Do you have a problem with that?" he replied
harshly, still in pain from the light. He cringed inwardly. He hadn't meant to sound so
irritable. But maybe Shindo would take the hint and leave him alone. No such luck.
"Oh," the other boy answered back, completely oblivious of the edge in his
friend's voice. "I was afraid you were going to puke again."
Akira mouth dropped open, mortified. //I threw up? In front of Shindo?! Just how
drunk was I last night anyway?//
He was about to ask but the words caught in his throat as he removed the arm that
shielded his face and looked at his companion. Shindo was standing in the doorway
completely naked except for the towel that clung loosely around his waist. Touya
swallowed hard as his eyes traced the small beads of water that trickled down the smooth
flat stomach and disappeared under the folds of cloth. He felt something deep inside him
begin to swell.
"Are you going to move, or do you want me to go right here?" Akira snapped
suddenly. The other boy jumped, startled by his friend's words. Even Hikaru had to
notice the hostility in Touya's voice. Quickly he stepped aside and let him pass.
//Damn it! What the hell was I thinking?!?!// Akira asked himself furiously as he
entered the bathroom and shut the door. Shindo was a guy! He ran a nervous hand
through his hair and sat down at the base of the tub. //Why did that idiot have to be here?
Why is he making me....// Touya sighed as let his face fall into his hands. It wasn't
Shindo's fault and he knew it. The other boy just didn't understand. He couldn't
understand...
Touya exhaled morosely as he washed his hands in the sink a few minutes later,
having accomplished what he originally set out to do. It wasn't Shindo's fault. It was
his ..... he shouldn't have snapped at him like that but ..... the green haired pro
couldn't help it. He couldn't control himself, or his emotions. And that made him angry.
"Are you okay, Touya?" Hikaru asked as his friend emerged from the bathroom,
the worry in his voice almost palpable.
"Fine," Akira replied curtly as he saw the other boy sitting on the bed, now fully
dressed. Touya wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. "What time is it?" he
asked as he sat down on his own bed, trying in vain to expel the unwanted thoughts from
his mind.
"Almost seven," Shindo replied casually. Akira shot up in surprise, and
immediately fell back down again as a surge of nausea and pain overwhelmed him.
"Touya! Calm down!" Shindo cried as her reached over to steady his friend.
"Seven?" the green haired pro repeated dumbly, his head swooning.
"Geeze Touya, relax! I covered for you" the blonde assured his rival. Akira
blinked in surprise.
"What?"
"What do you mean 'what'?" came the reply. "I told everyone you had a stomach
virus and you were resting. Don't worry. I took over your station so you could sleep."
"What did you do that for?!?!" Akira shouted furiously. It hurt to yell but he
didn't care. "You should have woken me up! I could have played, baka!"
" 'Baka'!?!?" Shindo shouted back indignantly, his face bright with anger. "Last
night you get totally wasted and attack me! Then I do you a favor by covering for
you and instead of saying 'thanks' like a normal person you're giving me crap!?!?!"
Akira opened his mouth to reply then snapped shut it again.
Shindo was right.
He should have been grateful that Hikaru let him rest. He felt horrible as it was,
if he had shown up at work today he would have felt at least ten times worse. And he had
been acting like a complete ass since he woke up.
"I'm sorry," he said softly as he bowed his head. "You're right. I put you through
a lot of trouble last night and... Thank you for letting me rest."
Hikaru blinked.
"Y..... You're welcome," he answered dazedly, caught off guard by his
opponent's sudden change of heart. Hikaru looked at his friend and sighed. He shouldn't
have blamed last night on Touya. Sure he had done some pretty stupid things, but he was
only there in the first place because Shindo dragged him along. And Akira did have a
point, the blonde admitted to himself grudgingly. He could have woken him up. Touya
was a professional and Hikaru knew he would have forced himself to go to the
convention hangover or not. But..... it felt nice to be able to do him a favor. After all,
Touya had been putting up with Hikaru for years now and he never really complained.
Ok, so that was a lie but he had never gotten really upset with him either.
"There's some aspirin and a glass of water over on the table," Hikaru said gently,
indicating the nightstand nearby.
"....Thanks"
"What are friends for, right?" he replied lightly. Touya flashed him a weak smile
as he put the pills in his mouth and swallowed.
"Have you eaten yet?" Akira asked almost hesitantly.
"Um... well not yet," the other boy admitted, and as if to prove this point his
stomach let out a loud grumble. Both boys grinned shyly at each other.
"Let me take you out, my treat" Akira said, still smiling "As a thank you."
"How about as an apology?" Hikaru replied, noting that his friend already seemed
to have conveniently forgotten that he owed him one. Touya glared. "A Thank you is
good too though."
************************************************************************
Touya sighed as he sat in front of his meal. Ramen again. //How much ramen can
one person eat?// he wondered in amazement as he watched the boy across from him
shovel yet another mouthful of the stuff onto his chopsticks. Shindo was already on his
third bowl. //This can't be healthy// the prodigy thought, almost hypnotized by the sheer
speed with which Shindo was able to consume food. //He can't possibly be human.//
"Thish ish really goo', " he said looking up from his bowl for the first time since
they sat down. He smiled at his friend, noticing that he was barely half way through his
first bowl. Akira smiled back, noodles hanging out of his mouth. It was disgusting really.
Shindo snorted, pieces of his own meal shooting from his mouth as he tried in vain to
choke back his laughter.
"Shindo! That's disgusting!" Touya said in mock horror. Hikaru replied by
sending a piece of carrot bouncing off Akira's head. The two old women beside them
glared. Slightly subdued, Touya poked at his ramen some more and Shindo, smiling,
shoved another mouthful onto his chopsticks .
"I swear, Myami said she saw a hat-wearing ghost loitering outside of that shrine
on 42nd Street." Touya heard the woman beside him say after she had finished glaring at
the pros.
"You mean the Honinbo Shrine?" her friend asked curiously.
"Yeah, I guess so," came the reply. "I swear that woman gets crazier and crazier
every year...."
"Are you alright, Shindo" Akira asked, concerned. His friend had suddenly
stopped eating and he was staring at the two women sitting beside them. His face had
gone pale.
"Sai...." The blonde whispered and without another warning he jumped up
from the table, knocking his bowl of ramen over in the process. "I have to go," he
shouted as he ran out the door.
"What?! Where?!" his friend yelled after him in surprise. Getting up quickly
Touya riffled through his wallet, threw the money for the ramen down on the table and
followed after his rival.
Hikaru sprinted down the street, weaving in and out of the crowd and
knocking into people without so much as a muffled 'excuse me'. Touya, who
rarely did anything but play go, was finding it extremely difficult to keep up his friend's
frantic pace. For nearly eight blocks he followed the blonde haired boy, but he knew
where he was headed: The Honinbo Shrine. It was common knowledge that Hikaru had
some sort of fixation with Honinbo, but what was it that woman had said had caused the
him to run out so suddenly? //Why are you running, Shindo?// Touya thought to himself
as he anxiously ran after his friend. Finally Shindo stopped. They had reached the shrine.
Pausing in front of its doors, Hikaru stared up at the sign that hung above them.
"Sai...." He whispered again as he ran into the building leaving a breathless
Touya gasping on the sidewalk. Akira, exhausted from the run, followed after his friend
slowly. Shindo was pacing all over the room, looking frantic. Completely confused,
Akira stood on the threshold, watching as his rival continued to search the building
wildly.
An hour later Shindo finally gave up.
"Sai..." he said sadly "I thought maybe...." But he didn't continue.
"Shindo?" Akira asked hesitantly.
"Huh?"
"What were you looking for?"
"It - it doesn't matter. He's not here anyway. I knew he wasn't here but I had to
make sure...." Hikaru's voice sounded hollow as he said the words. Listening to it,
something in Akira's chest began to ache.
"Who?" he asked softly.
"It doesn't matter anymore, Touya." Shindo replied. Akira nodded. If Hikaru
wanted to tell him, he would tell him. If he didn't there was no point trying to force it out
of him. "Let's just go back to the hotel," he said.
The walk from the Shrine to the hotel was made in silence; Shindo giving no
explanation for his sudden behavior and Akira asking for none. It was a long walk,
though not so long as it had seemed before. The two strolled side by side but they weren't
really walking together. Hikaru's gaze never left the sidewalk as they made their way
back to the hotel and Touya's never left Shindo. When they got back to the hotel room
the blonde haired pro didn't say a word, but simply sat down on his bed and stared at the
wall lifelessly.
"Shindo?" Akira asked, concerned.
"Yeah?" he replied, looking up at his rival. Touya swallowed hard as he looked
into the soft gray eyes. There was a sadness there that was almost too deep to
comprehend. Seeing him suffering that way, the dull ache that had formed in Akira's
chest exploded into a sharp agonizing pain.
"Let's play a game." He said, willing his voice to stay calm and not quite
succeeding.
Hikaru blinked. "Sure," he said numbly.
It was the only thing Touya could think of. He couldn't bare to see the anguish in those
eyes. He didn't know what had caused it but Touya was sure that, for a while at
least, he could help Shindo forget his pain.
"Nigiri"
Hikaru won black.
"Please," they said in unison as they began to play and both Shindo and Touya
found themselves being drawn into the designs they created on the go board;
forgetting that a world existed beyond the boundaries of the goban and their game. For
hours they played, black and white stones battling fiercely as they formed intricate
patterns across the board, melting into one another and reshaping each other in turn. On
the goban there was no confusion; there were no misunderstandings. A person's go told
you all you needed to know, it revealed their soul . Questions asked with stones were
answered in turn. On the goban men were gods, creating and destroying galaxies with a
single hand. And here Touya and Shindo were equals.
"It's you," Akira whispered as Hikaru put his last stone in place, three hours later.
"Huh?" his opponent replied. For hours the only noise to fill the room had been
the soft 'pachi' of their stones and their voices sounded harsh in contrast.
"It's you," he repeated again, louder this time.
"Who else would it be?" Hikaru asked almost indignantly, his pain forgotten in
the battle.
"I mean it's the old you" the green haired boy replied softly "The one who played
me that first game...." Hikaru looked at his rival, shock and sadness mingling across
his face.
"That -- that wasn't me," he said looking down after a long moment, his bangs
falling in front of his face. "That was..." his voice trailed off.
"But it is you," Touya replied. "It's your go. Your go is what you are." Akira said
softly as he stared at the game they had just played. There was a striking, almost
terrifying beauty to the intertwined pearl and ebony designs etched out across the board
and he felt a thrilling heat in his stomach as he studied what he and Shindo had created.
Only Hikaru, only Hikaru could answer Akira in this way. He looked across the go board
at his rival and his equal, unable to see his face through the thick shroud of hair. But the
veil could not hide the tear from Touya as it struck the goban.
Shindo was crying.
"Shindo? Shindo, what's wrong?" he asked, but there was no response. The
blonde haired boy just sat there staring at the floor, tears streaming from his eyes.
//Idiot!// Touya silently berated himself. His plan had worked. It had worked!
Hikaru had forgotten his pain but.... but something Touya said reminded him of it.
"Shindo, why are you crying?" he asked again, the worry in his voice was
beginning to turn into panic. In all the years they had known each other, Touya had never
seen Hikaru cry. It was terrifying.
"Answer me!!!" he yelled, his voice shaking. But the other boy made no reply. He
just continued to sit there, crying silently. Touya didn't know what to do. He only knew
that he needed to reach Shindo. Sliding the goban that separated them away, Touya
inched closer to the crying boy kneeling before him.
"Shindo, please..." He pleaded, bending lower as he gently cupped his rival's
face in his hands, but it was no use. There was nothing he could say to erase the anguish
in those eyes. There were no words that could make Hikaru understand that his pain hurt
the other boy too, that every moment he suffered a part of Akira died. There was nothing
he could say that could make the tears stop coming. So Akira didn't say anything. Instead
he leaned down and gently brushed Hikaru's lips against his own.
Shindo stopped crying.
**** Um... This was a little longer than I meant it to be... a little heavier on the angst too. Sorry. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!! I've never written a fanfic before, so I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing. Criticize to you're heart's content! I really appreciate the feed back! Thank you!!!!!! :D*************
