Title: Ripples in the Water
Author: Evidence
Chapter: 3
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: The question becomes why is Grissom acting the way he is toward Dylan? Well in this chapter using some back-story that I created we discover why. The back-story comes from seeing some hints of this in Sounds of Silence and The Execution of Catherine Willows when Grissom is watching the father behind the screen. Hope you enjoy.
Plants. Two of them. African violet and an ivy. Diplomas from Stanford and UCLA. A collection of toys for children: Mr. Potato Head, Hot Wheels, Barbie. Grissom's foot taped the floor as he took in his surroundings. Three other parents were waiting as well. A young single mom sat with a boy about three and a couple held their small daughter in their arms. Grissom's fingers began taping the table next to him.
"Will, you stop that," Sara shook her head with a laugh. "He must be running a little behind."
"We've been waiting half an hour, Sara. How far behind can he be?"
Sara peaked in at the sleeping baby in the walker. "Well, Dylan's getting some shut eye so at least that's one positive thing."
"Oh, good, he probably will be up all night."
Sara swatted him with the magazine she was holding receiving a curious look from the couple across the way.
"Mr. And Mrs. Grissom, the doctor is ready to see you." An older nurse came out holding their paperwork in her hand.
"Finally," Grissom said getting up and pushing the walker along.
"Don't mind him," Sara said to the nurse with a glint of laughter in her eyes.
They waited a few more minutes in a small, brightly colored room. Dr. Lang, their pediatrician, joined them eventually. He was a tall man with straight blonde/gray hair and a stoic look on his face.
"Good afternoon, hey, there Dylan."
At that Dylan's eyes opened and focused on the doctor.
"Hey, doc, so time for Dylan's 6 month checkup," Sara said but Grissom noticed the nervousness in her voice. They were about to learn if Dylan had made any progress since his last visit.
"Alright, shall we get started, Dylan?" Dr. Lang picked him up from the walker.
Grissom watched as Dylan went through a series of tests, his heart clenched in a tight grip. Come on, Dylan, you can do it, he silently cheered him on.
Once Dr. Lang had completed the tests he put Dylan back into his walker. He took a seat on a red stool and sighed. Sara felt her breath catch.
"Well, Dylan's vision and hearing are fine, that's good," he began.
"Hearing might be an issue later on though," Grissom said looking at Sara who nodded.
"Yes, that's true but at least for now he can hear fine. It is hard for him to follow an object as I move it though. This is not because he can't see it. His brain only lets him hold on to ideas or concepts, things for a short time, then he's on to something new. Focusing will probably be tough for him."
"Okay," Sara said with a fake smile.
"His motor skills I'm very concerned about. We know that his right arm was caught on the pelvic bone during birth. It seems that the majority of his muscles were ruined. He cannot grasp anything with his right hand. It is essentially useless."
Sara wiped a tear away. Grissom sat in silence.
"Luckily this left arm works quite well. He can grasp objects and hold on to them but just not for too long. This might improve later. Emotionally he's normal. He smiles, laughs, knows who you two are."
Both parents smiled at this.
"So although Dylan's progress isn't as good as we hoped at least he has made some," Dr. Lang stood up.
"Doctor, he doesn't make any vowel like sounds. I've read that he should." Grissom looked at the man and swallowed hard.
"Well, he might just be a little late or…"
"Or…what?" Grissom asked.
"Or it might be part of the learning disabilities he will have."
"Does that mean he'll never speak?" Sara questioned the doctor.
"No, it just means that he might be developmentally behind in language. That he won't be able to read for a long time, sounding out words will be difficult, writing will be a challenge. That's all."
"That's all? That's what you say to us! You're talking about our son and how his life will forever be screwed up!" Grissom's voice reached a fevered pitch. Dylan began crying and Sara put one hand on Grissom's shoulder and the other on her son's walker.
"Let's go," she said directing Grissom out of the office, "thank you doctor."
Their house was small but lovely. It was painted blue with white shutters and had a back porch with a wooden swing. The yard had space for a garden and an above ground pool. Grissom loved that house it had just felt right when Sara and him had seen out a few years back. He loved that house but now he couldn't stand to be in it.
Grissom put the Tahoe in the garage and helped Sara take Dylan from his car seat. They had a silent journey back home. The doctor's words keep recycling through his brain, over and over.
"You did good, Dylan," Sara said as she put him back in his crib to rest. "Your mommy's smart little boy." She gave the child and bright smile and bumped into her husband behind her.
"Sorry about that…" She looked into his eyes but something was wrong, something was missing. "Gil, are you okay?"
He couldn't stand it; he couldn't take living in this fantasy world with her. He felt pressure on his chest; it seemed so hot in the boy's room. His mouth felt dry and his head hurt. He knew he needed air; he needed to get out of there. Grissom turned and walked out the door and to the Tahoe.
"Griss!" He heard Sara yelling as she came behind him.
He turned the ignition key and backed up only seeing his wife's image in a reflection in his rearview mirror as he drove off.
The bar was dank and dirty. A thick cloud of smoke hung around the rafters. Grissom gulped down another whiskey and called the bartender over for more.
"Sorry, man you had enough." The grisly hair man wiped a rag on the bar.
"I won't drive home, just one more. Then call me a cab."
"Sorry." He moved to another patron just entering the scene.
Someone sat beside him and it took him a minute to realize who it was.
"Pop was a drunk so I'm going to be one, too?"
"Jim, how…"
Brass tapped his fingers against the wood of the bar. "Sara called Catherine all upset. Said you were acting strange and just left the house without a word. Catherine called me and I asked my men to be on the lookout for any Tahoes. Bruner, you know him, he saw a Tahoe at this shit- hole so that's how I found you."
Grissom rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Would you mind giving me a ride?"
"Of course not but tell me first what the hell is going on."
"You seem to know everything." Grissom looked at the empty glass in front of him.
"So Pop was a drunk huh? I kinda wondered that. He wasn't a great guy, left you and your mom. Have you talked to him since?"
"No."
Brass nodded his head. "I guess genes are hard to ignore."
"What are you talking about?"
"Pop leaves, Grissom leaves. Pop was a drunk, Grissom tries to be one."
Grissom jumped off the stool nearing losing his balance. "I am not a drunk. I've only been drunk probably three times in my life, Jim." He rubbed his forehead and more quietly said, "I'm not like him."
"No, you get drunk on science and mystery, that's true. That's your drug of choice. But you close yourself off to everyone. Now you're doing it to your own family. There is something to be said for repeating the mistakes of your father."
"I love my family but we…we received some horrible new today about Dylan."
"Horrible news? Did you find out he isn't yours? That my friend is horrible news, believe me. But you know what I still loved Ellie. I just made the mistake of not being home that much, blaming the job. Then I lost my job and my family. Now I don't have a daughter. That pains me, Gil. Don't be foolish like I was. Kids are precious no matter who's they are or what's wrong with them. Unlike me you have a wife that adores you. Don't lose her either."
Grissom shook his head.
"Come on, let me bring you home."
Sara was waiting at the front door. "Thank you, Brass."
"No problem." To Grissom he said, "Don't be stupid." He drove off in his car.
Sara's face was a mixture of anger, worry, and distress. Her voice was strong by soft, "Where have you been?"
Grissom hung his head and stared at his feet. "I was at a bar."
She bit her lip to keep the tears inside. What was happening to them? What was happening to their marriage? Why wasn't Grissom the man she married?
"I'm…I'm sorry Sara." He stood outside of his house like some stranger asking for admittance.
"Why did you leave like that? Do you know how scared I was?"
"I'm sorry.'
"Is that all you can say?" She backed away from the door and entered their black/blue kitchen.
He closed the door behind him and sat down at his place at the table. "The news today was upsetting."
"Yeah, well it was upsetting for me, too."
His eyes met hers. "You didn't seem upset."
"Of course I'm upset, Grissom. I want Dylan to have the best life possible and it would have been nice if he were born perfect. He wasn't born perfect though and that doesn't mine I'm going to just give up on him." She grabbed the tea kettle and set it on the stove.
"So you realize that he will never have a normal life."
"A normal life? Grissom, what is a normal life? Have you lived a normal life?"
He was taken back by her words. His mind was foggy already and now she seemed to have confused him more. Was his life normal? Probably not. "He's not going to be smart.'
"This coming from the man who has acted like an idiot on several occasions." She turned to him and breathed deeply. Sitting in a chair beside him she touched his hand. "We all have different ways to deal with things. I guess we are just dealing with this on our own terms."
"I don't want to have to deal with it at all." Tears stung his eyes and he felt Sara's hands on his face.
"Dylan could be much worse off. We were lucky."
"I don't feel lucky."
She moved so he could rest his head on her shoulder.
"I love you Sara. That hasn't changed."
"I know you do," she said wondering if he was speaking the truth, "and I love you as well." She did, even with the trouble they had lately; her heart belonged only to him.
The tea kettle sang and Sara got up to retrieve the tea. Grissom pushed his hand through his hair and pondered for a moment his conversation with Jim Brass. Could he escape the genetics? Or was he bound to be a bad father and husband? Sara placed the tea in front of him and he drank it in silence. He opted to sleep on the couch that night and Sara said nothing to persuade him differently.
Sara had switched shifts after Dylan was born. Grissom had cut back on his work hours so that one of them was always home with him. They did have daycare but Sara didn't trust anyone else to raise their son. So now they were like two ships passing in the night: Grissom came home in the morning just as Sara was about to depart for the day. Although Grissom hated the distance in his marriage he liked the alone time with his son. His love for Dylan had grown with each gurgle the boy made.
Grissom was working on a tough case, a murder of one of Las Vegas's elite. His shift blended over to the day and Nick was kind enough to go to Sara and Grissom's to watch Dylan so that Sara could come into work. Grissom was excited at the prospect of seeing Sara in the hallways or layout room. It would be like old times; some big Sidle smiles, flirting, close enough to touch. With a new found energy from his memories Grissom moved to the fingerprint lab to see if Jackie had any hits on a new set he discovered at the crime scene.
He didn't find Jackie looking through a microscope instead Sara was there with a CSI from the day shift, Colin Matthews. Colin was around Sara's age with jet-black hair and dark eyes. He was movie star handsome; at least that's what Catherine had told Grissom. Grissom smiled to himself as he watched Sara like a voyeur, unseen by their eyes. His smile faded as Colin moved so that his body was nearly touching Sara's, just like Grissom use to. Sara looked up from the microscope and flashed him a bright smile. She said something Grissom couldn't hear then turned to face Colin fully. She was standing just a few inches from his face. Grissom's stomach twisted and then he felt a pain in his chest as he saw his wife straighten out Colin Matthews's collar on his denim shirt.
Grissom walked quickly to his office and slammed the door shut. Then he let out his tears.
To be continued… (A twist I know but have faith.)
