Author: Evidence
Chapter: 5
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: Happy times are here again for Grissom and Sara as we span a little time but all goods things have to come to an end.
Grissom grunted as he pulled at the rope. A live tree, that's what Sara had wanted and now they were going to have to struggle to put it up.
"It's still too tall," Warrick Brown shook his head. "Let me saw off another few inches."
Nick Stokes was holding the tilting tree securing it in its water basin. "You know this tree is far too big for your living room."
"I told Sara that but," he directed his glaze at his wife, "she never listens to me."
"Gee, Sara I wonder how many CSIs it takes to put up a Christmas tree?" Catherine smirked at the scene before her.
"Hey, if you think you can do better, help yourself," Nick tossed back.
Sara ignored the conversation and went back to feeding Dylan his applesauce. He was a few months older now and starting to progress somewhat. His speech had a tang to it, most likely a lisp forming and his words were simple, "Da, Ma, ba for bottle" but his smile was warm and he watched his parents every move. Sometimes the hardest part was meeting another parents with kids in the grocery or discount store. They tried to talk to Dylan like he was their child but Dylan couldn't respond like their kid. Sara hated seeing the pity etched on their faces.
"Finally!" Nick yelled when the tree stood still. It was too large for the room, taking up nearly all the free space.
"Well you boys did all right although it took you forever." Catherine laughed.
"For" a little voice spoke.
"What?" Sara looked down at her son.
Grissom approached Dylan quickly, "Dylan can you say that again?"
They all waited as if some explosion was about to happen. Frozen they stood waiting for the child to speak.
His month moved but nothing came out.
"Catherine, would you say it again?" Grissom asked.
"Forever." Catherine pronounced it slowly.
"For." Dylan spoke.
"Oh, Dylan!" Sara threw her arms around the lad and couldn't contain her tears. Grissom put his hand on Sara's back.
Any other child might not receive a reaction like that but Dylan's word was a triumph for him.
"Go little man." Nick smiled at the tyke.
"Ma…man." Came out of Dylan's mouth.
Exorbitant cries were heard through the small house. "He's repeating what we say," Warrick shook his head in amazement.
"It's called parroting," Grissom spoke, "I read about it. He doesn't know what he is saying but his vocal cords are learning how to form words and sound out phonetically. This is a huge step for him. He's on the road to speaking, reading and writing." Grissom kissed Sara's forehead.
"Say Nick. Come on Nick."
"Dick."
"No, no, Nick."
Catherine couldn't contain her laughter.
"Nick."
"Dick."
"He's saying your name fine, don't correct him." Warrick grinned.
Nick shot him a look.
"Okay, stop harassing our son," Sara smiled and put her arm around Grissom, "he's said enough for today."
Sara looked into Grissom's blue eyes, he shone back pure love. Dylan had made an accomplishment maybe there was hope for him yet.
Christmas morning Dylan had the most presents to open and he was proudly repeating "Santa" over and over again. Grissom waited until Sara thought the unwrapping was over before he presented her with a small box.
"Griss…"
"Just open it."
Unwrapping the silver paper carefully, Sara saw a small black box revealed. She grinned first then opened the lid. Inside there was a bracelet. Sara took it out and examined it in the light. There were various charms on it: a baby bottle, a flashlight, a bug, a house.
"Grissom this is beautiful. The charms are of all the things in my life. The baby bottle represents Dylan, the flashlight is for being a CSI, I assume, the bug must be you and the house is our little adobe. I love it! How did you find these charms?"
"I didn't find them, I made them with Greg's help."
Sara's eyes widened.
"You would be amazed at what Sanders knows."
"I love you," she said it softly and kissed his lips.
"I love you, too." He pushed her hair back with his hand. Things had changed; they were finally back together, back to being the Grissom and Sara who were desperately in love with each other.
Dylan was sleeping in his playpen, rolled up into a ball.
Grissom kissed Sara's neck. "Griss, Dylan's right here."
He pulled back with a chuckle. "We can't wake him can we when he looks so peaceful, right?"
"Yeah, well we can't go to the bedroom right now."
"Why not?" Grissom asked removing his glasses.
"Well, Dylan's not in his crib."
"So, he's sleeping in his playpen, it's similar to a crib." Grissom began running his fingers through the fuzz at the back of her neck.
"I just don't feel it's safe…"
"This is a ranch style house, Sara. There are no stairs. We will still be right down the hall from him whether he is in his bedroom or the living room." He swept his hand down the back of her shirt.
"Griss…damn you." She smirked and helped him to his feet.
They nearly hadn't made it to the bed before they were caught up in the heat of it all. Clothes thrown every which way. Tongues, and hands exploring if on some ancient treasure hunt.
"Grissom," she let out as he held her so.
Then through the fog of sex she had a strange feeling wash over her.
Grissom sensed the change in her immediately. "What's wrong?"
"Dylan…" she started and then soon the cries entered both their ears. They untangled themselves quickly, Sara grabbing a shirt from the dresser and throwing it on.
Dylan was on the floor of the living room. A puddle forming from his tears.
"Oh, God!" Sara ran to him, her eyes picking up the playpen on its side.
"Is he hurt?" Grissom asked reaching them.
"I don't know." She felt his head, searched for any blood, tried to quiet him down.
"He looks okay but maybe we should bring him to the hospital." Grissom put his fingers to his son's face.
"No," it was soft but there was no mistaking it.
"You…you don't want to go to the hospital?" Sara asked.
"No, ine."
"What?" Grissom asked.
"Fine, is that what your trying to say, honey?" Sara wiped his tears, hesitant to fully believe what he was saying.
"Fine." He looked to the playpen. "Out."
"You wanted to get out?" Grissom put his hand on Sara's shoulder.
Dylan didn't respond but the crying stopped. With his good arm he pushed himself off the floor and for the first time on his own, stood.
"Oh, honey!" Sara yelled, covering her mouth. Unlike other children his age, Dylan was until this point unable to stand, walk or say words that sounded as they should. It was like a Christmas miracle coming true.
Dylan slept between them that night. No hospital visit, he seemed fine indeed. Grissom wondered if Sara had even slept for when he woke in the morning she was still starting at the child.
"He's going to make it Griss."
For the first time he truly believed it. "Yes, he will. I'm going to make some coffee. You coming?"
"In a little bit."
As the water was beginning to boil, Grissom went into the messy living room. They would have a lot to pick up later today, he thought. He looked up at Evan's painting, still hanging above the couch. Maybe his son would be lucky and make it. Maybe it was possible.
The ball did not reach his outstretched hand.
"It's okay, let's try again." Sara ran and picked up the ball and tossed it back to Dylan.
Once again he could not catch it.
"Alright one more time and this time feel the wind as the ball is approaching you." Sara smiled and repeated the procedure.
The white/blue ball again did not make contact with Dylan's hand. "I can't Mommy!" Tears welled up.
Sara bent down to his level. "Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry I'm pushing, huh?"
He shook his head.
"Mom's sorry, bud." She kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand. "Do you feel in the mood for an ice cream cone?"
Dylan's blue eyes lit up. "Please."
They left the children's park and drove to a local ice cream parlor. Dylan who was now five ordered a chocolate, sprinkled cone while Sara asked for a Mint Chocolate. They sat down at a dark red picnic table outside the parlor. Sara watched Dylan as he bit into the ice cream and reeled back from the cold hitting him. He had progressed so much over the years: he could talk, walk, hold objects with his left arm. He could recall the names of the ants Grissom had bought him.
He was still a far ways away from being considered "normal". His right arm hung mostly by his side and even with games like catch (that Sara had tried that day with him) the arm wouldn't work. His vocabulary was low for coming from two highly intelligent people and some memory skills were lacking. Ironically he was much better at social situations than his two parents and eagerly made friends with any kids he met.
In two short weeks Dylan would be entering school, kindergarten. The Grissoms could have kept him at home until he was seven but both wanted him to try school out. They knew that he probably would have to repeat the grade but they were hopeful something would change.
This was one of Sara's last times alone with Dylan. She had used a vacation day to stay home with him while Grissom was busy pulling a double. Their marriage had improved. The intimate moments had come back, the understanding was there, they were a happy, little family. Sara though felt one thing was missing and she was eager to bring the subject up to Grissom.
A new t-shirt. Grey with red stripes. Gift from Nick. Navy blue shorts. Little, white shoes. Dylan was set. Set for his first day of kindergarten. Grissom's hands shook as he tied Dylan's shoe. The years had passed so quickly. So many things had changed.
"Ready, bud?" Sara came into the room. Grissom saw how she tried to wipe her tears away.
"Ready." Dylan smiled a great big Sara Sidle smile.
"Let's go then," Grissom sighed and picked Dylan up.
"Daddy, I can walk."
"Can I carry you to the car, please?" Grissom looked at the young boy.
Dylan shook his head yes.
Sara trailed behind carrying Dylan's small blue backpack.
At the school Dylan was already making friends fast; he walked up to three boys and introduced himself. Sara held on to Grissom's hand and tried her best not to cry. It became even more difficult when the bell rang signaling the beginning of the school day. Sara kissed Dylan's cheek and told him she loved him and would see he later in the afternoon. Grissom patted his son's back and spoke to the teacher, "You have our number if you need us for…anything."
They both couldn't resist looking back at him one more time before exiting. Dylan was already sitting in a circle and beaming.
Grissom sat at the kitchen table absorbed in the paper. No phone call yet so things must been okay for Dylan. Sara was sitting across from him working on some paperwork.
Sara had been waiting for the right moment to bring up the subject and now seemed like the perfect time. "Griss?"
He looked up from the paper.
"Now that Dylan is in school maybe…I mean I think it's time we planned to have our second child." She wasn't sure why she so nervous to bring this conversation up.
Grissom put down the paper. "Sara, we have enough to deal with."
"Dylan's doing fine."
"Fine for someone with brain defeats, yes. Is he far behind other kids his age? Definitely. We need to focus our attention on Dylan not a new baby."
She rubbed her head. Sometimes he confounded her so much. "Don't you want another child? Another wonderful Dylan?"
It was the last question that struck him. Did he want another learning-disabled child? Should they risk having that again? Wouldn't it just make life harder? "No, I don't want another child."
Sara was not budging. "How can you say that? Dylan is the best thing that happened to us!"
"Get out of the dream world, Sara." He could see the hurt in her eyes as he said it. "Look I love Dylan but…"
"Sometimes I wonder if you do." She pushed her chair back and rose.
Anger brimmed inside of Grissom. "How can you say that? Of course I love him."
"You have a funny way of showing it. You hardly bothered with him after he was first born." She ventured into the living room, Grissom hot on her heels.
"Hey, I didn't even want a kid!" He couldn't believe he had told her like that.
She turned her face a mixture of emotions. "How…you wanted Dylan…you…"
Softly he said, "No, I didn't want a child but you did so…"
"You just went along with it!" She closed her eyes and reopened them. "So you lied to me."
"I didn't lie. I don't do that."
"No, I forgot your Mr. Perfect."
He bit at his lower lip. "Well you've made mistakes in this marriage, too. Don't put all the blame on me."
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Of course you have to bring up Colin. Nothing happened! I thought you believed that."
"I thought I did, too." Grissom wasn't sure where these words were coming from almost like his subconscious doing the talking for him.
"You think…you think I had an affair?" Her voice wavered.
"Well you flirted so anything's possible."
"This is great what kind of marriage do we have when we can't be honest with each other."
"Sometimes I wonder that." He moved closer to her and listened, as his mouth spoke what was not in his heart. "Sometimes I wonder why we are even together."
It was the finally straw for Sara. "You are a bastard. For years you treat me with disrespect…"
"How did I do that?"
"Ignoring me."
"I wasn't ready for a relationship."
"Well are you ready now?"
He stood mute searching for words he could not find.
Tears fell down the curves of Sara's face. "I love you Gil Grissom. I always have. I want this marriage to work but you have to want it to work, too." She grabbed her purse and started out the door.
"Where are you going?"
"I need to just drive around a little, clear my head." With that the door closed behind her.
He sat on the couch starting at a moisture ring left of the coffee table. He couldn't take this. It was too much to deal with. The phone rang and he hurriedly picked it up fearing it was about Dylan.
"Hello."
"Um, hi is Sara there?"
"If this is about our son, please tell me," Grissom said worry in his throat.
"Oh, this isn't about Dylan. Um, is Sara there?"
Grissom knew the male voice was familiar but he couldn't place it. "She isn't here, can I take a message."
"No, I'll catch up with her later, thanks." With that the sound of the connection being broken buzzed in Grissom's ear.
He replaced the phone in its cradle. The investigator in him was trying to place together the clues. The voice, who was it? Some guy that he had heard before. Why did he want to talk to Sara? Why didn't he leave his name? He knows who Dylan is. He'll "catch up with her later"? What is that about?
Thoughts swirled in Grissom's brain until he came to one conclusion: Sara was having an affair with some other guy. He knew then what he needed to do.
Sara walked into the house two hours later. She saw Grissom sitting at the kitchen table. She had spent the time thinking about their relationship and the ups and downs it had. But she knew one thing: she loved that man too much to give up on him or them.
"Hey," she said when he didn't look up.
"Sara take a seat." He pointed to across from him.
Sara sat down. "Grissom I…"
"I'm not in love with you anymore. I want a divorce."
The air felt like it had been sucked out of her lungs. She grabbed the table to keep herself steady. "What…you can't mean that."
"I'll be moved out by the end of the week." He got up from the table and grabbed his coat. "I've already called Jim. I'm going to stay over his house tonight."
She watched, as if some horrible nightmare had taken over her life, Grissom leaving out the front door. Then she let herself cry.
To be continued… (We start back at the beginning of this story- Grissom saying goodbye to his family. Don't give up on them yet.)
