Ephram sauntered through his front door and slammed it behind him. Andy, who had been sitting on the couch, looked up at him in question. "Where've you been?"

"Out," Ephram replied nonchalantly as he started to walk up the stairs.

"Could you be a little more specific, please?"

He opened the door to his bedroom. "Just leave me alone," the boy countered. He disappeared into his room.

Andy sighed. "I thought I was doing so well. . . ."

The man journeyed up the staircase and joined his son in the bedroom. When he saw him, Ephram turned on a nearby stereo and started blasting heavy metal music. He then began pulling things out of his closet.

"Ephram. Ephram, turn that damn thing down! Ephram. . . ." Andy reached over and turned off the stereo, but Ephram continued to assemble a pile of clothes on his bed. "Ephram, just because something bad happened to you, doesn't mean you can use me as a punching bag." The boy stood still and met his father's stare. Dr. Brown continued, "Whatever it is, let me help you. You can't take it out on me."

Their staring contest continued and time seemed to stop. Then the boy resumed his former chores, and said, "You're right."

Andy arched his eyebrows. "I'm 'right'? Wow. I have to remember this moment."

"Don't overdo it. But, you're right."

"Ephram . . . what are you doing?"

"Packing."

"And for what, pray tell?"

Ephram glanced at his father fiercely. "I'm going back to New York for the rest of the summer!"

Andy was speechless for a moment. "Ephram . . . are you sure? You'd just be running away."

"I'm sure. And I don't care if I'm running away." He forcefully started to stuff clothes into a duffel bag.

"But I thought you'd finally accepted Everwood as home. . . ."

"I do. And if I go to New York for the summer, that's not going to change."

"What is this about?" asked Dr. Brown.

Ephram merely sighed.

*** Amy in a booth at Mama Joy's with her head in her arms and her brown eyes gazing off into the distance, thinking about nothing but Ephram. She felt guilty that she couldn't get her mind off of him--she felt disloyal to Colin. However, thoughts of her boyfriend hadn't crossed her mind after she had come back that evening. She wished they would because Colin, after all, was the reason that she had refused Ephram . . . after kissing him. . . .

She was totally confused.

Why HAD she kissed him? What had come over her? What was it that possessed her about Ephram Brown's innocent face that always caused her to melt? The worst part was that she knew that she was toying with him. She knew that she was torturing him by falling for him and then going back to Colin again and again, but she just couldn't help it.

Her grandmother came up behind her, greeting her, "Hey, Private. What's up?"

"The sky," Amy mumbled.

"Hmm. You've inherited your father's wit," Edna grumbled sarcastically. She sat down at the booth across from her granddaughter and threw her bag onto the table. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing." Amy guessed that her grandmother wouldn't understand this particular dilemma.

"Come on, you can tell me, kiddo," she insisted, punching the girl's arm. "What is it? Boy trouble?"

Amy met Edna's questioning glance.

"Oh. Mmm hmm. And which boy does this concern?"

Edna's granddaughter then finally decided to give in, needing desperately someone to confide in. "Ephram."

"Okay . . . more details. . . ."

"Something happened. It was mostly my fault, but then Ephram . . . well, it really shouldn't be an issue. If he's really my friend he wouldn't put me in the position of having to choose between him and Colin--"

"Oh, can it, soldier," Edna suddenly demanded, receiving a confused look from Amy. "Ephram didn't do anything wrong but fall in love with you. Is that a crime now? Listen, Amy, I know you want to blame someone, but the truth is, you can't. Ephram didn't do anything wrong, Colin didn't do anything wrong. As much as you want one of them to be evil, it won't be that easy. You have to look at Ephram, and look at Colin and just make a goddamn choice!"

Although Edna's raised voice was slightly intimidating, Amy said calmly, "It's not that easy, Grandma."

"I know it's not easy, kiddo, that's the idea. But you should know; deep down, you know who it is."

Amy shook her head. "No, I don't."

"Yeah, you do. Now, I might not be as smart as you are, but I'm not stupid. If there's one thing I want, it's for you to stop stalling. Don't just pick Ephram because you feel obligated to him and don't just pick Colin because you're afraid that he needs you. Pick whoever makes you happiest, Aim, that's the important thing."

*** An hour later she lay on her bed, still in utter confusion. A few moments later her eyes went back into focus and she moved her hand to her jacket pocket, remembering the package that Ephram had given her. She pulled it out, unwrapped it, and found a CD inside. It was obviously homemade, with a clear case and a CD inside that said, "For Amy" on it in black marker and in Ephram's handwriting. She walked over to her CD player and put it inside. Beautiful piano music filled the room. She recognized the song right away: it was her song, the one Ephram had written for her.

She noticed something that she hadn't before: a note stuck inside the wrapping paper. She pulled it out and read the message scrawled on the small piece of paper:

"Dear Amy,

I know I already gave you a CD, I just thought you might want to have one with the song I wrote for you on it. Maybe it'll get your mind off of Colin. He's lucky to have you, by the way. I've never seen anyone so devoted as you are to him. Don't ever change, and know that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here, Amy.

Ephram"

The note had been written before Colin's miraculous survival and the last part, she realized, was implying that if Colin died in surgery, Ephram would help her through it. She knew it was true, too. Ephram had always been the shoulder for her to cry on, the one who was there for her when no one else was, the one who truly understood her.

*** The bus ride to Denver had been especially boring for her this morning, and when she reached the hospital room, she was filled with anticipation. She didn't know particularly what she was planning on saying to her boyfriend, and then realized that this was part of what Ephram did to her. He made her live life from day to day without a straightforward strategy for what she was to do. She almost liked the feeling, the lack of expectation.

Colin's face was exactly the same, although his hair was gone and his eyes seemed slightly weary. But when he saw her, the familiar eyes turned back to the way she remembered them, lighting up with gladness. "Amy," he called out, and with effort, opening his arms.

She flew to his embrace. When it ended, she sat beside him and he took her hand in his and stroked it. "You . . . you're all right?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Colin said, looking concerned for her. "What is it, Amy?"

She shook her head and her eyes were soon blurred with tears. "I guess I'm just tired. Tired emotionally, I mean. I've worked so hard to get you back and now," she said, smiling, "you're back."

Colin did not return the smile, and said reluctantly, "Aim, I don't know how to thank you. You've done so much for me. I didn't deserve it."

"Of course you did."

"No, I didn't," he said.

Sensing the seriousness in his voice, the smile faded from Amy's face. "What do you mean?"

Colin was unable to hide his hesitation and lack of confidence. "I just . . . before the crash, I. . . . It's not important now."

Amy was staring at him quizzically now. "Are you hiding something from me, Colin?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Please. You can tell me. Come on."

"It doesn't matter now . . . but . . . no, I can't tell you."

"You can tell me."

He stared at her long and hard for a few moments and then began, "Before the crash, I . . . I was gonna break up with you, Amy. I thought that I didn't love you and that I didn't want such a serious relationship. But I'm glad that I got in that crash. If I hadn't I would have lost you. I can't tell you how sorry I am. And like I said, it doesn't matter anymore. . . ."

Amy stood up with horror evident on her countenance. "I doesn't 'matter' anymore? It matters to me. You don't know what it was like, Colin. I gave up so much of my life for you. Do you know how many hours I sat there just reading you books or playing music for you or talking to you like an IDIOT who couldn't accept something that she had lost? I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was BREATHING your recovery and trying to make it happen."

"I know, Amy," Colin begged, "and I'll always be grateful to you for that. But you don't understand; I love you now, and--"

"No, YOU don't understand. Out of all of your family and your friends, I was the one who was there for you most often because I thought that you loved me and that when you came back, everything would be all right. But it wasn't. Because I never really had you. You can't just tell me that all of that time that I spent on you was for nothing and then expect me to not care. It doesn't matter if you love me now, Colin. I will always be hurt because of this."

"But that time that you spent on me WASN'T for nothing, I--"

"It's too late," she told him. She started to walk out the door, but then suddenly remembered what Edna had told her. You're doing it again, she thought. You're trying to find an excuse to get rid of him. She spun around. "Wait . . . no." She walked over to him. She spoke softly and gently now, "The truth is, what you just told me isn't what this is about. It does hurt, but you're right: it shouldn't matter. I just think that it's time to end this; I've been disregarding those feelings for so long but now it just has to be done. And I love you, Colin; you know I love you. But sometimes I wonder, what with our relationship being so unstable now, if you could use a friend more than a girlfriend."

Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "No, Amy. I love you. I really do."

"I know, Colin, and I will always love you too," she whimpered. "You showed me how to love. You taught me what it was and my love for you will always be here. But we're drifting. And we can't ignore that. Like I said, I'm emotionally tired, and I just . . . I'm just starting to think that everything that we had is gone. I don't know why, but I really would like to stop trying but walk out of this room knowing that we're not angry with each other. I think the reason for all this is because you gave me this fairy-tale, and I'm starting to realize that . . . maybe that's not what I want, you know? Maybe I don't like this fantasy so much because I got a taste of the real world, a taste of reality." Ephram, she thought, partly bitterly and partly with fondness. "You haven't done anything wrong."

There was a long silence. Then Colin looked up at her and said, "Because I love you so much, Amy, I really do respect you and . . . if breaking up's what you want, then. . . ."

"Not breaking up," she corrected, shaking her head. "Because what we have will last forever. It really was meant to be. What I have with you is so wonderful, Colin, and that's why it will always be with me. We were a legend together. We were. But it has to end now."

His eyes sparkled, and Amy thought that he looked as though he understood because he nodded.

Amy left the hospital that at about noon, and it was late in the afternoon when she got back to Everwood. She knew what she had to do.

[A/N--Thanks for reading! Sorry it took me a long time to get this chapter up; usually I post a new chapter each day. I hate writer's block! I'll try to get back into that and write a new one by tomorrow. Please review! Come on, it won't hurt. . . . --Elle]